The other day I wrote about doing daddy dates with my kids.
Even more important than that is Date Night with Katie. For the first few years of our marriage, we did not do this consistently. Date night was haphazard at best. It was poorly planned, rarely executed and consequently, our relationship suffered.
The longer we have been married and as our family has grown, it became even less of a priority. Last fall, I preached through the Song of Solomon at Revolution and for my research I read C.J. Mahaney’s book Sex, Romance and the Glory of God. This book and series hit me upside of the head and really challenged me. If you are a guy who wants to be a better man, husband, dad, then you need to right now buy C.J.’s book. It is by far the best book I have ever read of being a man.
I really want to emphasize something that does not always happen in marriage. This is the man’s responsibility. As men, we don’t have a huge need to be pursued, but your wife does. She wants to be romanced, she wants to be chased, she wants to know that she matters to you. Ironically, within a man is the need to chase. Neat how God worked that out.
Pursue your wife.
It is your job to plan and execute date night. No exceptions. You protect the night, you tell everyone “We are busy that night,” you plan where you are going, if you stay home, you cook; you find the babysitter. It is not her job, her job is to enjoy and participate in date night.
Date night does not have to be expensive. It can be a cup of coffee, it can be going out for ice cream. Date night needs to be uninterrupted time alone. One of the things we do on a regular basis is put the kids to bed and then grill up something good. Sit on the back porch, eat and just talk.
NO TV on date nights. This means, don’t take her to a sports bar. Avoid the temptation. But there is a game on you might say. Then don’t plan date night on that night.
Date night is not a time to run errands.
Now, sometimes on Date night, you do some work on your relationship. You talk through some tough things. This is a time though to talk about and work on your relationship. Don’t let other things cloud your conversation on Date night.
Do you have to do this? Nope. But if you don’t, you won’t be married very long, or at least, you won’t be happy. Your marriage is too important for this to not happen.
It doesn’t matter when it happens, as long as it happens EVERY WEEK.