One of the most common questions Katie and I from couples has to do with date night. Everything from if we really do date night every week, how we afford it and what kind of things we do.
Yes, we do date night every week. The night varies depending on our schedules (it used to be Thursdays, but now it is on Tuesdays). The night is not important as long as it is regular and you protect it. I usually tell couples that when they are starting out, they should be legalistic about the night until they get into the routine.
The misconception about date night is that it needs to be expensive or that you even need to go somewhere. Don’t get me wrong, the idea of going out every week for date night sounds awesome, but expensive. When you factor in babysitting for 3 kids (like we have to), the price sky rockets. Most of the time, we do date night at home after the kids go down. We’ll make some kind of appetizer so we can sit down and eat with them, then we’ll eat after they go to bed. We also have times where we just make coffee, talk and listen to some good music. Date night doesn’t have to be a meal to be a successful night, you just need to have uninterrupted time together as a couple.
Here are our rules for date night:
- I plan it. This isn’t a chauvinistic thing, but one thing I’ve learned is that date night is a great way for me to pursue Katie, meet her needs, show her how much I love and that she matters. Her love language is quality time, so this fits in well. This means, that if we go out, I find the babysitter. I figure out where we will eat, what we will do. I don’t get in the car and ask her where she wants to go.
- Date night is not about business. This means, don’t run errands on date night, don’t talk about business as a couple. Date night is about being together, talking about where you are in your life, what is happening in your lives. If you have small kids, this is crucial so that your wife has a chance to have an extended adult conversation.
Whether you go out or stay in, date night is about being together, having your phones and TV off (unless your wife says she would like to watch a movie for date night). About 2 years ago I read a life changing book (life changing in the sense that it changed my life, not eternity) about being a man and this idea of date night was a big part of it. It is Sex, Romance and the Glory of God by C.J. Mahaney. If I could put a copy of this into every man’s hands, I would. It is that good. Ladies, go and buy this for your husband (you won’t regret it).