The topic of date night is by far the biggest question Katie and I get about marriage. In fact, this is the 5th blog post I’ve done on it.
Here is my belief: every couple needs a weekly date night, no exceptions. It is the man’s job to plan it and pursue his wife.
When Katie and I got started, it was every Thursday night. Now, it typically happens on Thursday night but it sometimes moves nights based on our schedule, but it happens every week. I would be stricter at the beginning and stick to a night so you can get into the practice.
It is your job as a man to plan it. This means, if you go out, you figure out where to go (don’t get in the car and ask her where she wants to go, that shows you didn’t value this enough to plan it), take care of getting the babysitter.
Date night is for being together. This means, don’t run errands, don’t shop (unless that shows her love), be somewhere quiet enough to hear each other (don’t go to a sports bar).
Date night does not have to be a big, expensive deal. Most of our date nights are at home after the kids go to bed. We will eat some kind of appetizer with them, put them down and then eat.
Date night is not for watching TV (remember it is about her and most women do not want to watch TV with their husbands).
It is always sad to me when I see women say on Facebook, “Finally having a date night.” And then all their friends say, “Lucky, so happy for you.” This one change would make a world of difference in your marriage and is often the first thing Katie and I tell people to do if they are having problems in their marriage.