In marriage it is easy to focus on the negative things your spouse does. They didn’t pick up their clothes, they don’t pursue you, they don’t cook the food you like, the whine or complain “about everything.” The list goes on and on. Yet, celebrating when your spouse tries is a secret to a strong marriage.
Think about the last time your spouse put forth effort. Did they clean up the kitchen? Put their clothes or tools away? Did they take a shower and look nice for you? Did they bring home a gift? Pick up groceries without being asked?
What did your spouse do that you can celebrate?
Instead of saying, “Why didn’t you do ___?”
You could say, “Thanks for trying, for putting for effort.”
Could they do more?
But chances are they won’t if you don’t celebrate what they are doing.
Your attitude and reaction to your spouse has nothing to do with your spouse and everything to do with you.
I know, what they did determines your reaction. You can overlook something. You can be disappointed with something. You can cheer something on.
It is your choice.
I remember when we first started doing regular date nights. I was not good at planning them. The romantic in every guy seems to go out the window the moment they get married. Yet, Katie cheered on my effort. I even remember her saying once, “I see you tried. Thanks.” She wasn’t be sarcastic, but she was noticing the effort I put in to pursue her.
What did your spouse do today that you can celebrate instead of pointing out fault? Did they do it exactly how you wanted it done? Maybe not, but they did try.