Seasons of Life

Seasons in life are funny things. We all experience them, but we rarely talk about them.

Seasons can be broken up by ages. There is the season of being a child, a tween, teenager — the experience of middle school and high school, and then college. You might think of them in decades, your 20’s, 30’s, 40’s and so on.

Sometimes when it comes to ages, we long to move on and be older. Sometimes we wish we could go backward.

Some think of seasons in terms of jobs, their career. They are starting, starting over, moving up and moving down.

Or we think of seasons in terms of relationships. Alone, falling in love, falling out of love, getting married, having kids.

Even parenting has its seasons: the beginning, the sleepless nights, the physical demands of young kinds, the emotional needs of teenagers, the school activities, being an empty nester, the demands of caring for aging parents.

The reality is, we are all in a season. And sometimes, we are experiencing seasons simultaneously.

Here’s the problem with seasons, we rarely talk about them. We rarely identify the one we are in currently.

Here’s why this matters: the season you are in is unique. For example, our kids range from 7 – 14 in age. Our season of parenting is drastically different today than it was when we had three kids under 3 and a half. It is very different from our friends who just took their youngest to college. It has unique challenges and unique blessings.

We often get jealous of someone else’s season. We long to be married when we’re single. We can’t wait to sleep through the night when our kids are young. We wish our bodies felt younger as we age. When we get jealous of someone else’s season but we don’t take into account the difficult parts of their seasons, their challenges, only the benefits.

Not only is each season unique, but each season has its challenges and its blessings. If you’re frustrated with your season right now, more than likely, you are only focusing on the challenges and missing out on the benefits of it. And if you do that, you will miss that season and what you are supposed to learn and discover in that season.

5 Ways to Preach a Half Done Sermon

Whenever I meet with a pastor or church planter, I ask them, “What are you preaching on this Sunday?” I love hearing what series other guys are doing, the creativity. Recently whenever I ask this question, I get blank stares or a response of “I’m not sure, I think I have a title.” Sometimes they aren’t even that far along.

Too many pastors allow the busyness of their lives and ministries to crowd out their sermon prep.

Here are 5 ways to make sure that you are killing yourself on Saturday night to put a sermon together.

Don’t schedule it. Many pastors do not schedule when they will work on their sermon. For me, I work on mine in the morning; it is when I am most alert and creative. I block out Monday and Tuesday mornings for this purpose and do whatever I can to protect those times so that I can give my best hours to sermon prep.

Don’t plan. Don’t worry about it. Don’t think about future series, future topics, wait. By not planning, you will make sure that you won’t find great quotes, examples, stories to use. You will also keep from being able to use videos, certain songs that will allow artists to thrive in your church. And, the less time you spend thinking about something, the less passion you will bring to a topic. The longer you think on a topic, passage, or theme, the better.

Believe that your sermon doesn’t matter. Some of these are connected, but a lot of people don’t think preaching is essential. Whether they hold that people don’t want to listen to a sermon or that they should give a lite “here’s how to make Monday better than Friday was” kind of a pep talk. Your sermon matters. The Holy Spirit likes to show up whenever we talk about Jesus and the hope we have in Him. Lives are changed through the power of opening Scripture.

Unclear on what is the most important thing you do. Too many pastors are not clear on what is the most important thing they do or what should get the majority of their time. Three things occupy the majority of my time:  sermon prep, developing leaders, meeting with new people. I primarily give almost my entire week to those three things. Even when our church was smaller and we didn’t have a staff, that’s what I spent my time on, it’s what I do that adds the most value to our church. If you haven’t already, clarify how much time your sermon will get, give the best of your day to it.

Be lazy. A mentor told me, “Someone pays the price for a sermon. Either the pastor in the preparation or the church who has to listen to it.” Too many churches are paying the price instead of the pastor. Why? The pastor is lazy.

202 Favorite Quotes from the 2019 Leadership Summit

Every year, my team and I attend the leadership summit and it is always refreshing, challenging and recharging for me. Easily the best leadership material in a conference that is out there. I try to share some of the highlights I took from each session. I didn’t take notes at all the sessions because some of them felt more like stories and so I just listened and took that in, which was a new practice I tried this year and really benefited from it.

Here are my biggest takeaways from the talks I took notes over the two days:

2019 Leadership Summit – 15 Quotes from Craig Groeschel on The Power of Emotions in Leadership

Every year, my team and I attend the leadership summit and it is always refreshing, challenging and recharging for me. Easily the best leadership material in a conference that is out there. I try to share some of the highlights I took from each session.

Here are some thoughts from the session with Craig Groeschel on The Power of Emotions in Leadership:

  • Impressing you is not the same as connecting with you.
  • Emotions are relevant and important but they are the catalyst to growth.
  • The fastest way to change someone’s mind is to connect with their heart.
  • Knowledge alone rarely leads to action.
  • Knowledge leads to conclusion while emotion leads to action.
  • We must ask what do we want people to know, feel and do.
  • Share stories purposefully. 
  • Stories stick but facts fade.
  • Stories connect to the heart of emotions with the strength of logic.
  • Choose words deliberately. 
  • The words you choose determine the emotions that people feel.
  • Vision and values should inspire you and move you. If they don’t, they are too dull and safe.
  • Show vulnerability thoughtfully. 
  • We may impress people with our strengths but we connect through our weakness.
  • People would rather follow someone who is real instead of someone who is always right.

2019 Leadership Summit – 15 Quotes from Jo Saxton on Leveling up Your Leadership

Every year, my team and I attend the leadership summit and it is always refreshing, challenging and recharging for me. Easily the best leadership material in a conference that is out there. I try to share some of the highlights I took from each session.

Here are some thoughts from the session with Jo Saxton on leveling up your leadership:

  • Who were you before anyone told you who you were supposed to be?
  • Too many of us struggle with impostor syndrome.
  • We believe we are a fake and don’t deserve to be in the room.
  • Many of our stories create limits for us as a leader.
  • What we think is who we’re becoming.
  • The way you think about yourself is shaping your leadership.
  • The story we tell ourselves matter.
  • If your body could talk to you, what would it want to say?
  • If we don’t listen to our bodies, eventually it will speak loud enough that we won’t be able to ignore it.
  • You have one body and your leadership lives in it.
  • Who are your people?
  • Half of all CEO’s reported feeling lonely.
  • 60% of leaders say loneliness is affecting their performance.
  • There is loneliness when everyone wants an answer but you don’t have it.
  • Who are you leveling up as a leader? Who are you investing in to help them become great leaders?

2019 Leadership Summit – 10 Quotes from Dr. Krish Kandiah on Vision and Seeing Things Differently

Every year, my team and I attend the leadership summit and it is always refreshing, challenging and recharging for me. Easily the best leadership material in a conference that is out there. I try to share some of the highlights I took from each session.

Here are some thoughts from the session with Dr. Krish Kandiah on Vision and Seeing Things Differently:

  • Leadership is about seeing things differently than other people.
  • A visionary leader helps other people to see things differently.
  • Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others. -Jonathan Swift
  • Leaders are called to see potential where others see trouble.
  • Leaders see hope where others see chaos.
  • You and I are more than the worst thing we’ve ever done or the worst thing that was ever done to us.
  • The opposite of prejudice is hospitality.
  • What legacy would be passed on to your children if you brought kids into your home that were in need?
  • Investment in people leads to loyalty.
  • The kitchen table is the most valuable part of your house because of the stories that are shared around them.

2019 Leadership Summit – 20 Quotes from Todd Henry on Leading Creative Teams

Every year, my team and I attend the leadership summit and it is always refreshing, challenging and recharging for me. Easily the best leadership material in a conference that is out there. I try to share some of the highlights I took from each session.

Here are some thoughts from the session with Todd Henry on Leading Creative Teams:

  • We should aim to be prolific, brilliant and healthy.
  • Creative people need a challenge.
  • Creative people need stability.
  • A leader needs to speak courage into the people who follow them.
  • If you have low stability and low challenge, your team is lost.
  • A leader needs to know how much stability and challenge each person on their team needs.
  • Never assume that your people are with you.
  • Trust is the currency of creative teams.
  • It is the little things we do that cause us to lose trust in the big moments.
  • Leaders need to declare undeclarables. 
  • We breach trust by pretending to be a superhero.
  • We fail as leaders when we push people away.
  • Insecurity is at the center of so many poor leadership decisions and actions.
  • The place of your insecurity is the place you have the potential to do the most damage to the people around you.
  • Your job as a leader isn’t to do the work or control the work, but to get the work done.
  • We have to transition from leading by control to leading by influence.
  • Leaders, you have to take care of #1.
  • If you are not inspired, you cannot inspire.
  • If you don’t take time to fill your well, you won’t have any overflow for your team.
  • You owe it to your team to know what prolific, brilliant and healthy look like.

2019 Leadership Summit – 6 Quotes from Jia Jiang on Rejection

Every year, my team and I attend the leadership summit and it is always refreshing, challenging and recharging for me. Easily the best leadership material in a conference that is out there. I try to share some of the highlights I took from each session.

Here are some thoughts from the session with Jia Jiang on rejection:

  • Rejection is a numbers game.
  • Someone will say yes to us at some point.
  • Rejection is an opinion.
  • We think rejection is all about us, but it isn’t.
  • Rejection is just someone’s opinion.
  • Rejection is growth.

2019 Leadership Summit – 32 Quotes from Chris Voss on Negotiation in Relationships

Every year, my team and I attend the leadership summit and it is always refreshing, challenging and recharging for me. Easily the best leadership material in a conference that is out there. I try to share some of the highlights I took from each session.

Here are some thoughts from the session with Chris Voss on Negotiation in relationships:

  • Any time the words “I want” or “I need” enter your head or a conversation, you are in a negotiation.
  • The commodity in all negotiations is time.
  • The first move in a negotiation is to listen, to hear them out. 
  • You will be shocked how far you will get if you connect with people.
  • Every time someone says “that’s right” they feel more connected to you.
  • People want empathy, to be understood. What the FBI calls tactical empathy. 
  • Empathy is not compassion, it is a step towards compassion. It is understanding where someone is coming from, even the parts you might not like.
  • Call the elephant in the room out, don’t deny it.
  • You can manipulate people, but you will pay for it down the road.
  • The second move is mirroring. 
  • Repeating the last couple of words of what the other person just said.
  • It is inviting people to expand.
  • Mirroring is the conversation swiss army knife.
  • If someone says “no” then they feel safe and protected.
  • A calibrated “no” is worth at least five “yeses.”
  • The third move is if you remove barriers to agreements first, you get to agreement faster. 
  • The fourth move is effective pauses. 
  • Be comfortable with silence. 2 out of 3 are uncomfortable with silences.
  • We can break people up into groups: fight, flight, make friends.
  • The fifth move is to be likable. 
  • You are six times more likely to make a deal with someone you like.
  • The sixth move is don’t say “I understand.”
  • The seventh move is to figure out why not what. 
  • The word “why” makes people defensive.
  • Ask “what makes you want that” not “why do you want that.”
  • The eighth move is to ask open-ended questions. 
  • Ask “how.”
  • How triggers slow thinking, in-depth thinking. It helps us to shape someone’s thinking.
  • Negotiation is about what’s happening in the future. 
  • In negotiation, leave the selfish stuff out.
  • Fear is part of every negotiation because we’re hardwired to be afraid. 
  • The quickest hack against fear is to be genuinely curious.

2019 Leadership Summit – 21 Quotes from Patrick Lencioni on Motivation and how it Shapes our Leadership

Every year, my team and I attend the leadership summit and it is always refreshing, challenging and recharging for me. Easily the best leadership material in a conference that is out there. I try to share some of the highlights I took from each session.

Here are some thoughts from the session with Patrick Lencioni on Motivation and how it Shapes our Leadership:

  • I think a lot fewer people should become a leader. 
  • Don’t be a leader unless you’re doing it for the right reason.
  • There are two kinds of leadership: responsible and reward.
  • Responsible leadership is comparable to servant leadership.
  • Many of the things you do as leaders don’t have a reward.
  • You have to understand your leadership motive if you’re going to be a good leader. 

A leader who is reward centered won’t do is:

  • They don’t like to have an uncomfortable, difficult conversation.
  • They avoid them and push them off to others. And people suffer.
  • To be a leader, you have to have awkward conversations.
  • They don’t like to manage their direct reports. 
  • A good leader knows what their people are working on, coaches them and keeps them aligned.
  • If people aren’t managed, they lose motivation.
  • They don’t like to run great meetings. 
  • A leader can’t abdicate meetings or delegate them to someone else.
  • Bad leaders don’t like to do things that are tedious or boring.
  • Bad meetings lead to bad decisions.
  • They don’t like to talk about how they interact with each other because it’s difficult. 
  • They don’t like to repeat themselves and overcommunicate. 
  • Great leaders never get tired of reminding people what they do as a church or company.
  • Leaders don’t entertain, they keep people focused.
  • Our people suffer because of poor leadership.