How to Pray When Life is Hard

Photo by Amaury Gutierrez on Unsplash

Much of our lives are spent avoiding pain. And it makes sense because no one likes being in pain or difficulty. It makes sense that when it comes to our faith journey, we focus on the parts about joy, celebration, and happier feelings.

But that leaves us wondering what we do with our pain. What do we do when life hurts? When relationships become hard? How do we handle the difficult moments? How do we walk with a friend through difficult moments?

When they happen, we are usually unprepared for them; at least, I am. We often expect God to keep us from those situations and feelings; we expect God to bless our faithfulness when that blessing means ease and things going up and to the right.

But we see a different story through Scripture. We see that while pain and suffering are not God’s original design, they are part of living in a fallen, broken world. No one, including Jesus, is immune to pain and difficulty. We must learn how to navigate those moments and how they shape and impact our faith. God has given us ways to do that through the Psalms of Lament.

According to John Calvin, “The Psalms are the anatomy of all the parts of the soul. There is no human emotion that anyone finds in himself whose image is not reflected in this mirror. All our griefs, sorrows, fears, misgivings, hopes, cares, anxieties.” 

The Bible has space for our feelings of grief, disillusionment, and heartache, so our faith needs to as well. But many of us today focus on happier feelings in the modern church. 

To help with that, I encourage you to write your own lament. A lament has a few parts: Invocation, complaint, affirmation of trust, petition, statement of confidence, and vow of praise. 

Invocation

This is where you ask for help. Here are some questions to consider: 

  • Who are you addressing? This might seem obvious, but we must know who we are addressing. The Psalms of Lament focus on the character and power of God. We must remind ourselves who God is and what he has promised to do. 
  • What are you asking for? Is it for sleep, peace, dealing with fear or anxiety?
  • This is also a place to remind ourselves of what God has done in the past. List out how God has moved in your life and faith journey or the lives of others. In lament, we often only focus on our pain and grief, so our hearts must be reminded of what God has done. 

Complaint

This part can be hard for many of us because it can feel “un-Christian,” but this is an important part of the lament. We have complaints, grief, and heartache to bring before God. He won’t strike you dead. The psalms are filled with complaints. People even complained to Jesus, like when Lazarus died and Martha came to Jesus and said, “If you had been here, our brother wouldn’t have died” (John 11:21). That’s a complaint.

Things to think through are:

  • What is the problem? The issue that you are facing. 
  • What is your complaint?
  • What do you think God has not done?

Part of the complaint in many psalms is also a time to confess our sins to God.

Affirmation of Trust

This is the place where we look to why we can trust God. What has God promised in his word? As you think of your complaint, what God has promised speaks to that. Here are some examples of promises of God

Petition

This is the place where we ask God. Questions to help with this part are: 

  • What are we asking God to do?
  • What are we asking God to heal or to deliver us from?
  • Be specific in how you are asking God to move.

Often, I think we aren’t specific in our prayers because we don’t want to be disappointed if God doesn’t do something. But we must pray specifically

Statement of Confidence

This is the place of hope. This is where we say, “God, I know you can answer. I know you can heal. I know you can change this person or situation.” 

Vow of Praise

Many psalms end with a verse of praise. Even if God doesn’t do as I ask or on my timetable, I will still serve and praise Him. 

What if I Can’t Forgive Myself?

One of the things I will often hear from people is, “I know God forgives me, but I can never forgive myself.” Or, “I know ___ blank forgave me, but I can’t move forward. I’m stuck and can’t forget what I did.”

Our past continues to creep up on us and doesn’t stay in the past, no matter how much we’d like it to. 

In Genesis 3, we understand how God wants us to deal with our past and the things that keep us stuck. I’m so thankful to Chuck DeGroat for pointing these out

When Adam and Eve sin, God comes and asks 4 questions: 

  • Where are you?
  • Who told you? 
  • Have you eaten from the tree?
  • What have you done?

What gets us stuck, and keeps us stuck, is we start with the 4th question: What have you done? And that is all we focus on or answer. But there is more happening in us and around us that God wants us to face. 

And most importantly, God doesn’t start with “What have you done?” So, it is a good idea to start where God does. 

In these questions, we find what is broken in our lives, the shame we carry, and the way forward. 

Where are you? This is the question about hiding. God isn’t confused about where Adam and Eve are, and He isn’t confused about where you are. He is asking about where we are internally. Why? He wants us to know where we are. 

What do you use to hide? It might be your personality, jokes, work ethic, or something else. But all of us do something to hide whenever we feel exposed. Part of forgiving myself is seeing what I use to hide and keep people at arm’s length. 

Where did this come from?

Somewhere in your early life, you probably learned what it means to be safe and secure in relationships and have continued to do that again and again in your adult life. But as one of my mentors says, “What worked for you as a little person works against you as an adult.” We need to see what we do to hide, where that came from, honor how that protected us in life, and see how that can keep us from freedom now. 

But this hiding might also be the brokenness we carry and our secret sins. 

Who told you? This helps to identify who told us about our nakedness and our shame. 

What are the voices that have gotten us to where we are? This isn’t about blaming but about identifying our past. 

Have you eaten from the tree? This question helps us to identify what we did. 

What Adam and Eve did, and our tendency now, was to blame someone else. This is another way of staying safe and distancing ourselves from what we did. We have less ownership and guilt if we can say it was someone else’s fault. 

Ultimately, this often leads to regret, shame, feeling forgotten, guilt, and bitterness.

But God won’t let us stay there. He patiently moves forward and asks, What have you done?

As I said, we usually start here, but God doesn’t. We need to get to this question, but this question isn’t the starting point. God wants us to get under the hood of our lives and ask deeper questions before getting to what we have said or done. 

But in the goodness of God, He doesn’t leave us standing there with what we have done. He helps us to name it and move forward to freedom. 

In 1 John, John writes to his church struggling with sin and seeing themselves correctly.

There was a group in his church that, when it came to sin and struggles, though they didn’t sin, they weren’t sinful (or as bad as our culture talks about it), and there were no consequences to their sin. It didn’t do anything or harm anyone.

Now, no matter what you think of sin, you do things wrong. There’s a good chance that in the last hour, you’ve done multiple things wrong. You may not call them sins. You might call them mistakes or failures or missed opportunities. But (and this is crucial) if we don’t see them correctly, we will miss God’s grace and forgiveness. And if we don’t see them correctly, we will end up with regret, shame, guilt, and eventually bitterness.

This is why John points us to confession in one of the most famous verses in the Bible.

1 John 1:9 is a great reminder: If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Confession is being honest with yourself and God about who you are and who He is.

It is seeing yourself through the lens God sees you, which is the only path to freedom.

This path takes us from comparison, being the victim, and even moping around. It takes us to freedom because, through confession, we can let go. We can drop our bags of sin, guilt, shame, and regret.

5 Questions to Ask to Forgive and Let Go So You can Move Forward

Photo by Alex Shute on Unsplash

Forgiveness is one of the hardest things to do when you have been wronged.

But within our culture and churches, there is a lot of confusion about forgiveness, the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation, and the difference between forgiveness and trust.

In Luke 17, Jesus is talking to his disciples about this very thing, and in it, he raises some important questions we have to deal with: He said to his disciples, “Offenses will certainly come, but woe to the one through whom they come! It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea than for him to cause one of these little ones to stumble. Be on your guard. If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and comes back to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”

One of the things that gets in our way of forgiveness and experiencing the freedom that comes from forgiveness is our hearts and inability to forgive and let go.

In this passage, Jesus gives us a few questions to pause and ask the next time an offense happens.

Did they sin against me, or did I not like it? This is a phrase Jesus uses often, “If your brother sins against you…” Just wants us to stop and ask, did they sin against me? This is the first question we must ask ourselves about forgiveness and reconciliation.

Many times, if we are honest, that person did not sin against us or God; they just did something we didn’t like. Our preferences and desires are not laws of the universe, as much as we think they should be.

Now, that doesn’t mean you don’t say anything. It might be worth a conversation. But it does change how we view it.

Can I overlook this? Proverbs 19:11 says it is “a virtue to overlook an offense.”

This means not everything offensive is worth a conversation. There are some that you should say, “I’m choosing to overlook that.”

Now, what that is for you and me might be different. But we need to ask the question at least.

What is happening in me? Jesus says to be on your guard. In other translations, it says, “Watch yourself.” Why? When someone sins against us, we need to ask what is happening in us. Why are we so bothered by that? What button did they push in me?

Often, when an offense comes, there is a lesson for us to learn.

Many times, the reason we find something offensive or are bothered by something is because it connects to something in our past

How do you know? Does your reaction match the situation? Ruth Haley Barton said, “The more volatile and out of control our responses are, the more we can be sure that we are reacting out of old adaptive patterns rather than God-graced, Spirit-filled responses.”

What if they repent? We have to be honest about one reason we don’t go to people who sin against us: we don’t want them to repent.

If they repent, then I have to forgive them. You’re supposed to forgive them regardless, but I have a different thing to face if they repent. Many people don’t bring up their hurt with the other person because if they apologize and seek reconciliation, now I have to face the music and move forward. If I stay put, I can stay mad and not move forward. It gets to stay their fault. 

But it isn’t just around repentance that can trip us up now. We aren’t sure what a healthy relationship would look like with someone who has hurt us or someone we have a dysfunctional relationship with. 

For example, if you have a broken relationship with your child, parent, spouse, or friend. You know what that looks like. You can navigate their silence, insults, or mean words, lashing out and slamming doors. You don’t know how to navigate the relationship when those aren’t present. What if that stops all of a sudden? You are in a new relationship with the same person, which can be disorienting. 

If that person who has sinned against you repents, you lose the upper hand you think you have. You lose the ability to sit in judgment of them like you are. I’m not saying those are good things you are doing, but we all do those things at different points.

What if they don’t repent? We do have to ask ourselves what we will do if they don’t repent. Jesus says, “If they repent, forgive…” Does that mean that our forgiveness is based on their apology? No. Our forgiveness is a choice we make, regardless of what they do. In his great book Forgive, Tim Keller said, “To forgive someone’s debt to you is to absorb the debt yourself. Forgiveness, then, is a form of voluntary suffering. In forgiving, you choose to bear the cost rather than retaliating.”

While repentance and reconciliation are always the goal in a broken relationship, that isn’t always possible. The other person may not repent or even be alive to repent. So forgiveness is not dependent on the other person. Reconciliation is, but not forgiveness. 

Forgiveness is a choice you make on your own. 

And often, when I’ve been deeply wounded, forgiveness will come before I feel like forgiving. 

I told a story on Sunday about a situation where I was wounded deeply. Katie and I, before we even had a conversation with the person who hurt us, started to pray for them. She started first, and then slowly, God softened my heart. 

Praying for the person who has hurt me has a way of seeing them the way God does and softening my heart towards them. Now, that doesn’t mean that I am excusing what someone did. But it does help me to see them, myself, and God more clearly.

How to Grow Through the Hard Times

Photo by Nik on Unsplash

Every one of us experiences hard times, but we view those hard times differently. Some of us are surprised by them when they hit; others seem to expect them (and they miss the good times when they come); some see them as a nuisance you must deal with; others see them as moments to grow and learn from. 

Scripture tells us we shouldn’t be surprised by them. Paul goes so far as to tell Timothy: But know this: Hard times will come in the last days. Throughout history, Christians have debated if they are in the last days. We might be now, we might not be yet. But we should live with the awareness that hard times will come. We shouldn’t be surprised by them. We shouldn’t look for them but see how to learn and grow from them. 

That’s what Paul wants Timothy to do. He gives him a list in chapter 3 of things that can lead to hard times. In verses 2 – 4, he lists 19 different sins that can lead to hard times. To learn and grow from the hard times, we must know what can lead to them and what we should be pursuing out of them. 

Here is the list:

  • For people will be lovers of self
  • Lovers of money
  • Boastful
  • Proud
  • Demeaning
  • Disobedient to parents
  • Ungrateful
  • Unholy
  • Unloving
  • Irreconcilable
  • Slanderers
  • Without self-control
  • Brutal
  • Without love for what is good
  • Traitors
  • Reckless
  • Conceited
  • Lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God

Look at this list; which stands out to you as you struggle? It is important to know because that area is where we are most prone to fall into temptation, but also the area that can lead to the greatest heartache and difficulty in our lives. 

The 19 sins can fall into 3 categories: love of self, pleasure, and money. 

Paul gives Timothy a charge on how to fight this:

To fight the love of self, pursue humility. 

To fight the love of pleasure, pursue integrity. 

To fight the love of money, pursue generosity. 

Why do this? Tim Chester says, “All too often, we think of holiness as giving up the pleasures of sin for some worthy but drab life. But holiness means recognizing that the pleasures of sin are empty and temporary, while God is inviting us to magnificent, true, full, and rich pleasures that last forever.”

The Kind of Person God Uses

Photo by Patrick Fore on Unsplash

All of us want to live a life without regrets. But is that even possible? Yes and no.

The reality is that we will all navigate feelings of guilt, shame, and regrets. The reason is because they are powerful.

At the end of 2 Timothy, Paul says, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” 

Imagine getting to the end of your life and saying that. Saying I have done what I was supposed to do. I left it all on the field of life. I kept the faith. I ran my race.

But how does that happen? How do you and I get to where we can say that?

Much of what is in 2 Timothy is Paul telling Timothy (and us) how to make that true in our lives.

In chapter 2, he tells us three things that are true of a person who can say that: they are approved by God, they are pure, and they are a servant.

Approved by God

Paul tells Timothy that a follower of Jesus is one of God’s. Paul says in verse 19: God knows who belongs to Him. What a promise. 

Many of us, though, struggle to believe that God loves us. We spend most of our lives trying to earn God’s love, trying to prove ourselves to God, trying to beat our willpower into submission instead of living in the grace of God. This is why Paul says in chapter 2, verse 1: Be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. 

Right now, as a follower of Jesus, you have all of God’s love, all of God’s approval, all of God’s attention. There isn’t anything you can do to get more of God’s love, acceptance, and attention. 

What would it look like today to live as if that were true?

One of the things I’ve started to do is ask God for help in believing this when I struggle to believe it. 

Pure

Paul then says that the person who lives without regrets, the person God uses significantly, is pure. 

He uses the illustration of vessels in a house; there is gold and silver for a particular use, honorable use, and some things made for dishonorable use.

God uses those who are holy, set apart, different, and clean.

One of the themes in this book is Paul’s saying how he has lived his life without regrets; he has a clear conscience.

In your life, do you strive for purity? Do you have things to help you have a pure heart, mind, body, and soul?

Servant

The third and final thing Paul says about a person God uses is they are a servant. 

All of this connects to the verses before (2 Timothy 2:1 – 13), where Paul says that a follower of Jesus is like a soldier, athlete, and farmer

A servant seeks to serve their master and Lord. Which is the heartbeat of every follower of Jesus: to serve the will of God. 

Do you look for opportunities to serve God and others? Without getting any glory?

The Power of Focus

Photo by Paul Skorupskas on Unsplash

One of the hardest parts of life is the ability to focus. I don’t know about you, but my mind often wanders, tempted to pick up my phone and mindlessly scroll through Instagram. Staying on task is hard work. 

But have you noticed that people who accomplish great things in life and live without regrets (2 Timothy 4:7) can stay focused on the task? 

Even when that task is difficult or painful. 

But what does that look like when you run from one thing to the next? What does that look like in our relationships with other people and our relationship with God? 

In 2 Timothy chapter 2, Paul gives us 3 incredibly helpful images as we think about how hard life should be, what to do when life is hard, and how not to be surprised when encountering difficulties. 

Paul tells Timothy that following Jesus and being faithful to finish our race well will be like being a soldier, an athlete, and a farmer. Each of these gives us a glimpse of what life and faith will be like, but we often forget them. 

Soldier

Paul says following Jesus is a lot like being a soldier. Soldiers put everything on the line; you are always on in war.

You don’t get distracted in a battle. 

A soldier is willing to suffer, knowing it will not be easy, and willing to lay it on the line.

A soldier has said yes before an order has been given.

Soldiers in active service do not expect a safe or easy time. They take hardship, risk, and suffering as a matter of course.

A soldier is always a soldier, just like a Christian is always a Christian.

Which means he doesn’t worry about the things everyone else worries about. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t worry about food or shelter, but “civilian pursuits” refer to priorities. As followers of Jesus, our priorities must differ from others in the same way that the priorities of a soldier differ from the rest of the population. 

The reality is few Christians in America will die for their faith. But, the more faithful you are, the more God works and moves in your life, and the more roadblocks and hardships Satan will send your way.

To be good soldiers of Jesus Christ, we must be dedicated to the battle, committing ourselves to a life of discipline and suffering, and avoiding whatever may ‘entangle’ us and distract us from it. 

Athlete

The Greek word in verse 5 for compete here also means “to contest, contend, wrestle and struggle.”

For many of us who follow Jesus, this is often what it feels like, and for good reason. Paul tells us that we shouldn’t be surprised. 

An athlete who succeeds has a lot of talent, gifts, determination, and willpower. These are needed to work your body, the sacrifice of working out, eating right, the discipline, the struggle to keep going when you don’t feel like moving.

An athlete’s life revolves around their sport, even in the offseason. They take breaks and rest so they can perform at a high level. 

Each athlete for the Olympics during Paul’s time had to state on oath that he had fulfilled the necessary ten months’ training before he was permitted to enter the contest.

And here’s the thing about athletic competitions. I always hear something at the gym: the bar doesn’t lie. This means that whatever is on the bar when you lift, that’s what you can lift. Not, “Oh man, one time I lifted this.” You can’t hide if you didn’t train. You will not have the endurance or the strength. If you haven’t lifted weights, you can’t show up at the powerlifting meet and squat 500 pounds. No amount of steroids or HGH will cover up a lack of training. 

In the same way, it will be your dedication to Jesus. 

Farmer

A farmer works long, hard hours in the cold, heat, rain, and drought.

He does not work when it is convenient but when he has to. The seasons don’t wait for him. The rain comes, and the sun shines; he doesn’t know when. But he must be prepared to act when they do and make adjustments when the weather doesn’t cooperate. 

He has to plant at the right time and harvest at the right time; he must always be ready to go at a moment’s notice, as a storm can come at any time.

While there are moments of excitement, being a farmer is mostly ordinary and mundane. In the same way, while there is excitement and risk in following Jesus, most of our time following Jesus will not be in big mountain-top moments but in the ordinary, often mundane moments of life. 

Walter Liefeld said, “The military image here has to do not with warfare but with disciplined obedience; the athletic image deals less with success and more with conformity to the rules; the agricultural image stresses hard work.”

Paul tells Timothy that finishing your race will require endurance, discipline, and perseverance. 

No matter what you are facing, whether it is your faith, a prayer you’ve been praying, your career, parenting or marriage, faithfulness will require endurance, discipline, and perseverance.

When Life Gets Hard…

Photo by Drew Beamer on Unsplash

All of us have lived through a challenging season. You might be in one now, just coming out of one, or one will be coming next year. 

They can happen when we least expect it: a disruption in our career or finances, a child that is hard to parent, a spouse who suddenly becomes distant, a sickness we didn’t expect or plan for, or simply life not going as we planned.

Challenges.

They are relational, financial, spiritual, emotional, and physical.

They know no limits. Challenges have no heart, so they aren’t worried about you and your survival.

The question isn’t if we will walk through them but how to do so. Often, especially as followers of Jesus, we are surprised when difficulties come our way. But we shouldn’t be. Jesus and the disciples all experienced difficulties. Jesus told us we should expect them and prepare for them. 

Difficulties don’t mean you are doing something wrong or have sinned; it might just mean you are alive. 

But what do you do when it arrives? How do you handle the phone call you weren’t expecting or the betrayal you never thought could happen? 

If you find yourself in that place or want to prepare better, here are 3 questions to ask yourself: 

  1. What is God trying to teach me in this season? It is easy to get angry in a challenging season and blame the person you think caused it. You may be right, but doing that will not help you. Eventually, that will exhaust you, and you’ll still be in a challenging season. So take a day, be angry, and then wake up tomorrow and start looking forward. By asking this question, you begin to understand what God is trying to do, which is helpful because it takes our eyes off ourselves. God does not waste experiences and moments. He uses them for his glory and our good.
  2. What is God preparing me for by having me in this season? Because God doesn’t waste moments, what we walk through today is helpful for tomorrow. Begin looking forward, looking, and asking God for what He is doing.
  3. What is God’s invitation to me in this season? This question comes from Jim Cofield in The Relational Soul: Moving from False Self to Deep Connection. This has been a powerful reminder to me in moments of pain and hurt. Often, in a place of challenge and difficulty, God is stripping away my arrogance and confidence in myself and teaching me to rely on Him. 

But how do we move forward in that season? It is one thing to spend some time digging into what God is doing, but how do we live in a challenging season that might last for years or our whole lives? How do we live with the losses that pile up in life

In his book Leadership Pain: The Classroom for Growth, Samuel Chand lists five things we know about God or learn through difficult seasons:

  1. God never abandons us, even when we can’t sense his presence.
  2. Our faith and character are developed most powerfully in times of adversity.
  3. God sometimes delivers us from pain, but he often delivers us through it.
  4. Life’s most defining moments are usually painful experiences.
  5. We do not grow in those moments by default.

How to ReFocus in the New Year

Photo by Stefan Cosma on Unsplash

In 2 Timothy, Paul tells Timothy: Therefore, I remind you to rekindle the gift of God that is in you through the laying on of my hands. For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but one of power, love, and sound judgment.

This is incredibly important as we start a new year. Many of us have spent time thinking about last year, growth plans for the new year, praying through, and coming up with a word for the year, all so that we can focus on the new year. This is a great thing. 

But Paul tells Timothy to rekindle the gift of God. We don’t know for sure what the gift was that Paul was talking about, but it gives us the idea that whatever it was, it had started to fade or fizzle out. Our passions, drive, and focus can all fizzle out. This is why it is so important as we start a new year to take stock of where we are and where God wants us to be in the coming year. Not so we can come up with new goals or resolutions but so we can have focus as we move into the new year. 

Many of us don’t need something new but to be reminded of what we have and what God has entrusted to us. 

To help you focus this year, here are 8 questions Brad Lomenick asks in his book, The Catalyst Leader: 

  1. What are the 2-3 themes that personally define me?
  2. What people, books, accomplishments, or special moments created highlights for me recently?
  3. Give yourself a grade from 1-10 in the following areas of focus: vocationally, spiritually, family, relationally, emotionally, financially, physically, and recreationally.
  4. What am I working on that is BIG for the next year and beyond?
  5. As I move into this next season or year, is most of my energy spent on things that drain or energize me?
  6. How am I preparing for 10 years from now? 20 years from now?
  7. What 2-3 things have I been putting off that I need to execute before the end of the year?
  8. Is my family closer than a year ago? Am I a better friend than a year ago? If not, what needs to change immediately?

Many of us don’t need something new. We, like Timothy, need to rekindle what God has called us to. 

When we do, we can move forward in that power, love, and sound judgment instead of living from a place of fear. 

How do we know the difference?

We live from a place of fear when we live someone else’s goal for our lives, fall into what everyone else is doing, and live in a way that doesn’t honor God or his word. Too many people live someone else’s life or someone else’s dream. Timothy could’ve struggled with this very easily. His mentor and spiritual father was the apostle Paul. A man who wrote 2/3 of the New Testament and planted many churches. Those are huge shoes to fill. Yet, Paul says, “Don’t fill my shoes. Fill what God has called you to, be who God created you to be.” 

In this New Year, fulfill what God has called you to. Be who God created and called you to be. 

How to Find Rest for Your Weary Body and Soul in December

rest

Photo by Alex Padurariu on Unsplash

Almost everyone I talk to right now is exhausted. Not just physically but also emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

Especially around the holidays. 

I talk with many people (and I feel this some days as well); we just need to make it through the holidays to January!

Our exhaustion comes from a lot of places:

  • You may find yourself as a parent pulling your hair out as you navigate school and schedules.
  • Juggling work, to-do lists, errands. 
  • The parties that never end, the shopping, the gifts. 
  • Most of us rush from one meeting to the next. One thing to the next. 
  • Maybe you are retired or have more time than you used to, but you find yourself mentally exhausted and don’t know why. 
  • Or you may have never been busier or more exhausted in your job.

All of this causes us to miss things in life. We miss opportunities because we are too tired, frazzled, and busy. We miss out on moments in relationships because of our pace. 

Our health suffers. As we sleep less, we spend more time on technology. We have become unhealthier and lonelier. We grab sleeping pills or alcohol, anything to help us fall asleep or numb ourselves. 

Our relationship with God suffers as we take less time to talk or listen to him. 

But often, instead of slowing down, we add more things to the list. We double down on working harder, pushing harder when we need to slow down and rest.

In Matthew 11, Jesus gives us one of the most amazing invitations to come to him and rest. He says:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Jesus says so much here that I don’t want us to miss: 

Come to me. Jesus invites us to come. Many of us have this idea that God doesn’t want us, but Jesus tells us that isn’t true. He invites us. Relating to God, spiritual practices begin with the belief, the knowledge that God wants to be with us. To know us, for us to know Him. To experience life and rest in Jesus, we must believe that God wants us to come to him and that God wants to restore our lives. 

Again, who does he invite? 

All you who are weary and burdened. How do you know if that’s you? How do you know if you need to come to Jesus for rest? Often, we think we aren’t that tired or if we can push through this next week or month. But we are usually kidding ourselves with that. Too often, instead of finding rest, we try to survive life with sugar or caffeine throughout the day, a donut to get us going in the morning, 5-hour energy to get us through the afternoon, pushing harder and harder, working late into the night and then when our brains are wired, taking a sleeping pill to fall asleep. 

About this passage, Dane Ortlund said, “You don’t need to unburden or collect yourself and then come to Jesus. Your very burden is what qualifies you to come.

What an amazing truth. Your burden, weariness, and exhaustion qualify you to come to Jesus.

Jesus says, “I will give you rest.” Rest is a gift from God. It is from his generosity when we come to him.  This is more than a nap or a long night’s sleep. This is soul rest. 

You are at rest…

  • When you know you are loved by God and no longer strive to be loved. 
  • You are at rest…when you no longer work too hard to prove yourself worthwhile to others. 
  • You are at rest…when you no longer try to control everything. 
  • You are at rest…when you stop worrying and surrender your worries and anxieties to God.

Jesus says, “Walk with me, take my yoke, and learn from me.” We learn from Jesus as we walk with him. Side by side. In the ancient world, farmers would put two animals in a yoke. One animal was strong, and one was weaker. The weaker animal was often younger or less mature. 

So Jesus invites us to take his yoke, not only cause he is stronger than we are, but so we can learn from him. We can walk with him, apprentice to Jesus, and become more like him as we work and walk with him. Jesus says, “I am stronger than you. Come, and I will do the heavy lifting.” As we practice resting and slowing down, we become more like Jesus. We walk with Jesus. 

What a gift. 

Then, Jesus tells us what we experience in this: I am gentle and humble in heart. 

We run and run, often from God, but from others and ourselves because of fear. Jesus says we can come to him because he is gentle. Jesus is gentle and humble in heart. 

This is who God is. This is the God we rest with. Rest in. One of my kids is a snuggle, and I love when he gets close. I often imagine this is what Jesus is saying here. I am gentle; I will give you comfort. 

You will find rest. What do we find? Rest. 

A soul rest. 

A peace. 

Contentment. A deep, trusting calm. 

And lifting when we trust God instead of trusting ourselves.

My yoke is easy, and my burden is light. This verse is the only time the word easy is used in the bible. 

Jesus invites us to get as close as possible, to walk with him. When we are linked with him, that’s where rest happens, where life is abundant and full. When we think of God, we often think of him as giving us burdens, but he doesn’t. 

If you and I are carrying burdens, they aren’t from God but things we are to give to God. Anything that is keeping you from rest is given to God. Anything that keeps you from being present with God, others, or yourself, give it to God. Anything that weighs you down keeps you up at night; give it to God. 

This is why Peter invites us to Give all our worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.

What yoke do you carry that you need to lay down and let Jesus take?

God wants to walk with us. God wants us to experience rest and life. God wants to take our burdens and help us live free and light. 

4 Keys to Biblical Generosity

Over the years, many things have been said in sermons and classes at church about giving and generosity. I’ve heard pastors berate people from the stage, guilt people into giving, or have a narrow view of generosity, which is seen as only about money instead of the broader context that Scripture gives. 

When scripture talks about generosity, it includes money, but it also includes our time and our talents. 

Throughout the New Testament, Jesus and others continually tell us that wherever we spend our time, our talents and treasure matter to us. We can say with our lips that we want to honor God and that God is a priority in our lives, but if we don’t back that up with how we spend our lives, we are fooling ourselves. 

In 1 Timothy 6, Paul wants us to ask ourselves if we are trusting in God or if we are trusting in the uncertainty of wealth. 

So, what does it look like to honor and trust God with our finances? To be generous in a way that honors God. The writers of the New Testament give us 4 words to guide our generosity:

Worshipful. Generosity is an act of worship.

Every time we are generous, we are worshiping. Every time we aren’t generous, we are worshiping. 

Being generous with our time, talents, and treasure shows that we believe everything belongs to God and worship him. As Paul tells us in 1 Timothy 6, we place our hope in God. 

But when we are stingy and hold our time, talents, and treasures tightly, we worship something else. That might be security, more prestige, our kid’s sports calendars, etc. 

But Paul tells us every action and decision is an act of worship, either towards God or towards the uncertainty of wealth. 

When we are generous, we are reminding ourselves who owns everything. We are stewarding what God owns and has entrusted to us.

When we share our finances, time, and talents with those around us, we worship and give glory to God, who gave us these things to use. 

Proportional. The word tithe means “tenth,” where giving 10% back to God comes from. If you aren’t giving back to God and want to move forward in generosity, that is a great place to start but not where to end.

What is proportional for one person isn’t for another.

Each year, Katie and I pray through upping our percentage of what we give back to God.

Not only because generosity is the first step to contentment.

But have you ever met someone generous and miserable? I haven’t. They’re always happy.

The same happens with time and talent. Each person has different amounts of time they can give in each stage of life. Your proportion of time is different in your teens, your 30’s, compared to your 60’s. 

Sacrificial. Giving away $100 might be a lot for one person but not for another.

Giving should stretch us. It should change us and our priorities. 

In many ways, it should make us go ouch. That is what sacrifice means. It hurts a little bit. It pushes us and challenges us.

That is what generosity should do.

Andy Stanley said, Giving 10% makes many people uncomfortable, extremely uncomfortable. But then, so is a colonoscopy, and those save countless lives.

Being uncomfortable isn’t bad.

Discomfort is sometimes the thing we need to grow in our faith. 

Intentional. This means you planned it. It didn’t just happen.

In 2 Corinthians 9, when Paul talks about generosity, he says that each person should decide in his heart.

This means you decide ahead of time.

I encourage everyone in our church to give using automated giving on the giving envelope. It means you decide ahead of time.

Here’s the question for us: Is your giving worshipful, proportional, sacrificial, and intentional?