When Life Gets Hard…

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All of us have lived through a challenging season. You might be in one now, just coming out of one, or one will be coming next year. 

They can happen when we least expect it: a disruption in our career or finances, a child that is hard to parent, a spouse who suddenly becomes distant, a sickness we didn’t expect or plan for, or simply life not going as we planned.

Challenges.

They are relational, financial, spiritual, emotional, and physical.

They know no limits. Challenges have no heart, so they aren’t worried about you and your survival.

The question isn’t if we will walk through them but how to do so. Often, especially as followers of Jesus, we are surprised when difficulties come our way. But we shouldn’t be. Jesus and the disciples all experienced difficulties. Jesus told us we should expect them and prepare for them. 

Difficulties don’t mean you are doing something wrong or have sinned; it might just mean you are alive. 

But what do you do when it arrives? How do you handle the phone call you weren’t expecting or the betrayal you never thought could happen? 

If you find yourself in that place or want to prepare better, here are 3 questions to ask yourself: 

  1. What is God trying to teach me in this season? It is easy to get angry in a challenging season and blame the person you think caused it. You may be right, but doing that will not help you. Eventually, that will exhaust you, and you’ll still be in a challenging season. So take a day, be angry, and then wake up tomorrow and start looking forward. By asking this question, you begin to understand what God is trying to do, which is helpful because it takes our eyes off ourselves. God does not waste experiences and moments. He uses them for his glory and our good.
  2. What is God preparing me for by having me in this season? Because God doesn’t waste moments, what we walk through today is helpful for tomorrow. Begin looking forward, looking, and asking God for what He is doing.
  3. What is God’s invitation to me in this season? This question comes from Jim Cofield in The Relational Soul: Moving from False Self to Deep Connection. This has been a powerful reminder to me in moments of pain and hurt. Often, in a place of challenge and difficulty, God is stripping away my arrogance and confidence in myself and teaching me to rely on Him. 

But how do we move forward in that season? It is one thing to spend some time digging into what God is doing, but how do we live in a challenging season that might last for years or our whole lives? How do we live with the losses that pile up in life

In his book Leadership Pain: The Classroom for Growth, Samuel Chand lists five things we know about God or learn through difficult seasons:

  1. God never abandons us, even when we can’t sense his presence.
  2. Our faith and character are developed most powerfully in times of adversity.
  3. God sometimes delivers us from pain, but he often delivers us through it.
  4. Life’s most defining moments are usually painful experiences.
  5. We do not grow in those moments by default.

How to Hire the Right Church Staff

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Every leader and pastor knows that to reach the goals you have in your heart for your church and to fulfill the mission that God has called you to, you must find the right team. Nothing is more important than the people you put around you. Whether they are elders, volunteers, or church staff. This has never been more important, but with COVID, this has never been more difficult.

All leaders know that nagging feeling. It keeps them up at night and gives them indigestion. It creates anxiety, stress, and even anger. What is it from? Having the wrong person in a leadership role. Sometimes, it might be a mismatch of skill; it may be that the person isn’t capable of leading a ministry or team at the size it is. This happens when someone struggles to lead at the new size of a church, as leading in a church of 100 is different than leading in a church of 500. The mismatch can also be a character issue you didn’t see before or recently developed.

But how do you know? What do you do with the feeling that someone shouldn’t be in their leadership role?

Jim Collins in Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap…And Others Don’t said, “Two key questions can help. First, if it were a hiring decision (rather than a “should this person get off the bus?” decision), would you hire the person again? Second, if the person came to tell you that he or she is leaving to pursue an exciting new opportunity, would you feel terribly disappointed or secretly relieved?”

Over the years, these questions have helped me evaluate the leaders that I have and where we are as an organization. 

This doesn’t mean that if you answer, no you wouldn’t hire this person again, that doesn’t mean you let them go. Especailly if the issue is around competence as opposed to culture fit or character. Compentence is the area that you need to spend time on to level people up if they can be.

What do I mean by that? Not everyone wants to grow as a leader. People are often content to stay where they are and not grow or develop. That isn’t a character flaw or even wrong, but it might mean they can’t continue growing with your church or culture. 

But how do you know ahead of time? All of us have led people who shouldn’t be leading, weren’t bought in, or weren’t capable of leading in the role they are in.

In his helpful book Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less, Greg McKeown said, “If the answer isn’t a definite yes, then it should be a no.”

While McKeown was applying that to opportunities, I think it is incredibly applicable to hiring someone, raising a volunteer leader, or putting someone into a new leadership role.

If you have a gut feeling they shouldn’t be there, wait. If a trusted leader tells you to wait, listen up.

If someone seems over-anxious to lead something, wait. If someone seems to be hiding something or something doesn’t add up about them, wait.

There is no harm in waiting.

I know. I hear you, church planter and pastor. You need someone. Who is doing it if you don’t put someone into place?

Possibly you. Possibly no one. You may need to wait on a ministry or miss a vision opportunity because you don’t have the people you need.

There have been times in churches I have been a part of where we have missed opportunities or we’ve not grown or we haven’t done a ministry because we didn’t have a leader. This is hard and sometimes people leave because of it, and you lose momentum or people.

Those are never easy, but they are all easier than removing the wrong person.

How to ReFocus in the New Year

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In 2 Timothy, Paul tells Timothy: Therefore, I remind you to rekindle the gift of God that is in you through the laying on of my hands. For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but one of power, love, and sound judgment.

This is incredibly important as we start a new year. Many of us have spent time thinking about last year, growth plans for the new year, praying through, and coming up with a word for the year, all so that we can focus on the new year. This is a great thing. 

But Paul tells Timothy to rekindle the gift of God. We don’t know for sure what the gift was that Paul was talking about, but it gives us the idea that whatever it was, it had started to fade or fizzle out. Our passions, drive, and focus can all fizzle out. This is why it is so important as we start a new year to take stock of where we are and where God wants us to be in the coming year. Not so we can come up with new goals or resolutions but so we can have focus as we move into the new year. 

Many of us don’t need something new but to be reminded of what we have and what God has entrusted to us. 

To help you focus this year, here are 8 questions Brad Lomenick asks in his book, The Catalyst Leader: 

  1. What are the 2-3 themes that personally define me?
  2. What people, books, accomplishments, or special moments created highlights for me recently?
  3. Give yourself a grade from 1-10 in the following areas of focus: vocationally, spiritually, family, relationally, emotionally, financially, physically, and recreationally.
  4. What am I working on that is BIG for the next year and beyond?
  5. As I move into this next season or year, is most of my energy spent on things that drain or energize me?
  6. How am I preparing for 10 years from now? 20 years from now?
  7. What 2-3 things have I been putting off that I need to execute before the end of the year?
  8. Is my family closer than a year ago? Am I a better friend than a year ago? If not, what needs to change immediately?

Many of us don’t need something new. We, like Timothy, need to rekindle what God has called us to. 

When we do, we can move forward in that power, love, and sound judgment instead of living from a place of fear. 

How do we know the difference?

We live from a place of fear when we live someone else’s goal for our lives, fall into what everyone else is doing, and live in a way that doesn’t honor God or his word. Too many people live someone else’s life or someone else’s dream. Timothy could’ve struggled with this very easily. His mentor and spiritual father was the apostle Paul. A man who wrote 2/3 of the New Testament and planted many churches. Those are huge shoes to fill. Yet, Paul says, “Don’t fill my shoes. Fill what God has called you to, be who God created you to be.” 

In this New Year, fulfill what God has called you to. Be who God created and called you to be. 

How to Let Go to Move Forward

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The reality of resurrection requires the reality of death first. -Alan Fadling

As we close the year and look towards the new year and all that we hope it will be,  we need to take stock of what was. 

Maybe for you, this past year was all you hoped and imagined. 

It may not be the year you hoped for. 

Whatever the case, there are lessons in there and celebrations. 

In his book Get Your Life Back, John Eldredge has some questions to help us see the state of our lives, how rested we are, and how weary and burdened we are. 

Here are a few, and as you read them, be honest with yourself, how are you right now?:

Are you content & satisfied most of the time? Or do you find yourself holding yourself and others to an impossible standard? How much of life do you enjoy?

How often do you feel lighthearted? This gets into how we respond to people, the important question of what it is like to be on the other side of me. When you respond to people, do your reactions match the situation? Or do you fly off the handle?

Are you excited about your future? Do you dream about what God has for you? Do you have time to dream?

Maybe you won’t be excited about the coming year as we get to the end of the year. You might have a sense of foreboding. A clear signal of weariness is the inability to dream or hope about the future. That doesn’t mean you are depressed, but it could be a sign of being tired. 

Do you feel deeply loved? Whether or not we feel loved has an enormous impact on our lives. Many of us are addicted to things because of a lack of love. 

This also helps us see where we are in our relationship with God, others, and ourselves. 

When was the last time you laughed so hard it hurt? Are you always serious, or can you let your hair down and go with the flow? 

This is one of the keys to knowing when I need to let go of something or I’m running too hard. Laughter and enjoyment is a crucial part of living and finding wholeness. 

My Favorite Books of the Year

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It’s that time of year when I review what I’ve read and list out my favorite books of the year! 

Over the last few years, I’ve read fewer non-fiction books and more history or novels. It doesn’t need to be published this year to make my favorite list, just one I read during the year. 

Below is a photo of my favorite books of the year, with my favorite one on top. To see everything I read this year, go here.

If you’re curious about past years’ lists, click on the numbers: 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021 and 2022.

First, the fun books!

I read way more novels, biographies, and historical books this year.

Here are my 5 favorite novels or history books of the year:

  1. The River We Remember
  2. Horse
  3. The Age of Vice
  4. Becoming FDR
  5. Red Notice

Here are my favorite books of the year. They aren’t in any order, as it was hard to nail down a favorite, but if I had to, I would say my top 3 were: Thriving through Ministry Conflict: A Parable on How Resistance Can Be Your Ally, Sage: A Man’s Guide Into His Second Passage and The Good Life: Lessons from the World’s Longest Scientific Study of Happiness. 

The Air We Breathe: How We All Came to Believe in Freedom, Kindness, Progress, and Equality. I wish everyone had read this book. It gave words to what I’ve seen in our culture but haven’t been able to articulate. 

Resilient Ministry: What Pastors Told Us About Surviving and Thriving. This was a book that a group of pastors I met with read, and it was eye-opening. It was also comforting to know that some of my feelings are normal.

The Weary Leader’s Guide to Burnout: A Journey from Exhaustion to Wholeness. Read this book if you’re weary, tired, or burned out. This past year, I found myself feeling run down and tired, not burned out, thankfully, and this book was a godsend when I read it. 

Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue. Friedman takes the stance that to lead well in a church; you must understand the family systems of that church.  If you are leading a church in transition like I am, this book is invaluable to understand how your church functions, what the family of origin story of your church is, and how that is still impacting your church (even if all those people are gone). 

The Imperfect Pastor: Discovering Joy in Our Limitations through a Daily Apprenticeship with Jesus. Every year, I re-read a book; this year, this is the one. I read it years ago, but now that I’m older and in a different spot in ministry, it was incredibly helpful to go back through it. There are tons of insights for pastors on how to move at the pace of God.

Generations: The Real Differences Between Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X, Boomers, and Silents―and What They Mean for America’s Future. This is a book that all pastors and parents need to read. It gave me insight into my kids and their friends, my life, and my generation. This is the first time there are 5 generations in churches and the workforce, and it is important to understand their needs and desires and how they view the world.

The Good Life: Lessons from the World’s Longest Scientific Study of Happiness. This book was so insightful on what makes people happy. they have followed a group of people for over 80 years, including their kids, to see what we can learn from people’s lives. This book caused me to rethink some things in my relational world.

Thriving through Ministry Conflict: A Parable on How Resistance Can Be Your Ally. This was the first book I read for my doctoral program, and it blew me away. It is written as a fable and follows a new pastor at his church and his experiences. It so closely mirrored my experience of moving to New England; it was eerie. 

Sage: A Man’s Guide Into His Second Passage. You need to read this book if you are a man close to 40 or over 40. It helps explain what you feel physically, emotionally, spiritually, and relationally. There were a lot of aha moments for me and things to think through so that my second half is all that it can be. 

The Flourishing Pastor: Recovering the Lost Art of Shepherd Leadership. You’re probably picking up a theme in the books I read and loved this year. As I get older and watch more and more pastors quit, fail, or burn out, I’m seeing how hard it is to make it to the end and finish well, and I desire not to be a statistic.

Top Blog Posts of 2023

As we get closer to the end of the year, many people post their favorite and top lists for the year. Stay tuned for my favorite books of the year post.

Here are the year’s top posts, in case you missed them or want to go back. Thanks for reading and coming along the journey with me!

  1. Pastors Lose 5 – 7 Relationships a Year
  2. What I Didn’t Know About Being a Lead Pastor
  3. 8 Things I Wished People Knew about Enneagram 8’s
  4. How to Stay Passionate as a Pastor
  5. 11 Ways to Be an Engaging Preacher
  6. How to Walk with People Through Pain & Difficulty
  7. How a Church Falls
  8. Should Women Lead & Teach in a Church?
  9. How to Plan a Preaching Calendar
  10. How COVID Changed Church Staff Cultures

How to Find Rest for Your Weary Body and Soul in December

rest

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Almost everyone I talk to right now is exhausted. Not just physically but also emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

Especially around the holidays. 

I talk with many people (and I feel this some days as well); we just need to make it through the holidays to January!

Our exhaustion comes from a lot of places:

  • You may find yourself as a parent pulling your hair out as you navigate school and schedules.
  • Juggling work, to-do lists, errands. 
  • The parties that never end, the shopping, the gifts. 
  • Most of us rush from one meeting to the next. One thing to the next. 
  • Maybe you are retired or have more time than you used to, but you find yourself mentally exhausted and don’t know why. 
  • Or you may have never been busier or more exhausted in your job.

All of this causes us to miss things in life. We miss opportunities because we are too tired, frazzled, and busy. We miss out on moments in relationships because of our pace. 

Our health suffers. As we sleep less, we spend more time on technology. We have become unhealthier and lonelier. We grab sleeping pills or alcohol, anything to help us fall asleep or numb ourselves. 

Our relationship with God suffers as we take less time to talk or listen to him. 

But often, instead of slowing down, we add more things to the list. We double down on working harder, pushing harder when we need to slow down and rest.

In Matthew 11, Jesus gives us one of the most amazing invitations to come to him and rest. He says:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Jesus says so much here that I don’t want us to miss: 

Come to me. Jesus invites us to come. Many of us have this idea that God doesn’t want us, but Jesus tells us that isn’t true. He invites us. Relating to God, spiritual practices begin with the belief, the knowledge that God wants to be with us. To know us, for us to know Him. To experience life and rest in Jesus, we must believe that God wants us to come to him and that God wants to restore our lives. 

Again, who does he invite? 

All you who are weary and burdened. How do you know if that’s you? How do you know if you need to come to Jesus for rest? Often, we think we aren’t that tired or if we can push through this next week or month. But we are usually kidding ourselves with that. Too often, instead of finding rest, we try to survive life with sugar or caffeine throughout the day, a donut to get us going in the morning, 5-hour energy to get us through the afternoon, pushing harder and harder, working late into the night and then when our brains are wired, taking a sleeping pill to fall asleep. 

About this passage, Dane Ortlund said, “You don’t need to unburden or collect yourself and then come to Jesus. Your very burden is what qualifies you to come.

What an amazing truth. Your burden, weariness, and exhaustion qualify you to come to Jesus.

Jesus says, “I will give you rest.” Rest is a gift from God. It is from his generosity when we come to him.  This is more than a nap or a long night’s sleep. This is soul rest. 

You are at rest…

  • When you know you are loved by God and no longer strive to be loved. 
  • You are at rest…when you no longer work too hard to prove yourself worthwhile to others. 
  • You are at rest…when you no longer try to control everything. 
  • You are at rest…when you stop worrying and surrender your worries and anxieties to God.

Jesus says, “Walk with me, take my yoke, and learn from me.” We learn from Jesus as we walk with him. Side by side. In the ancient world, farmers would put two animals in a yoke. One animal was strong, and one was weaker. The weaker animal was often younger or less mature. 

So Jesus invites us to take his yoke, not only cause he is stronger than we are, but so we can learn from him. We can walk with him, apprentice to Jesus, and become more like him as we work and walk with him. Jesus says, “I am stronger than you. Come, and I will do the heavy lifting.” As we practice resting and slowing down, we become more like Jesus. We walk with Jesus. 

What a gift. 

Then, Jesus tells us what we experience in this: I am gentle and humble in heart. 

We run and run, often from God, but from others and ourselves because of fear. Jesus says we can come to him because he is gentle. Jesus is gentle and humble in heart. 

This is who God is. This is the God we rest with. Rest in. One of my kids is a snuggle, and I love when he gets close. I often imagine this is what Jesus is saying here. I am gentle; I will give you comfort. 

You will find rest. What do we find? Rest. 

A soul rest. 

A peace. 

Contentment. A deep, trusting calm. 

And lifting when we trust God instead of trusting ourselves.

My yoke is easy, and my burden is light. This verse is the only time the word easy is used in the bible. 

Jesus invites us to get as close as possible, to walk with him. When we are linked with him, that’s where rest happens, where life is abundant and full. When we think of God, we often think of him as giving us burdens, but he doesn’t. 

If you and I are carrying burdens, they aren’t from God but things we are to give to God. Anything that is keeping you from rest is given to God. Anything that keeps you from being present with God, others, or yourself, give it to God. Anything that weighs you down keeps you up at night; give it to God. 

This is why Peter invites us to Give all our worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.

What yoke do you carry that you need to lay down and let Jesus take?

God wants to walk with us. God wants us to experience rest and life. God wants to take our burdens and help us live free and light. 

How Covid Changed Church Staff Cultures

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The further we get from March 2020, the more we see how COVID has changed our world.

It changed our world in some significant ways. The same happened within the church. We’ve seen how COVID changed giving patterns, attendance, and serving patterns for people; the list goes on and on.

Just as it changed workplace cultures and patterns, the same has happened for church staff. We are just beginning to see what has changed, and pastors and boards need to start paying attention before we get too far down the road. While it may have brought about some welcome changes, it made some bad ones.

Here are 5 ways I think COVID changed church staff cultures that we need to pay attention to:

Everyone is exhausted. A lot has been written about the exhaustion and weariness everyone feels. Not just pastors but everyone in our churches is weary.

And believe me, it is real. I feel it, too.

As you lead your team, you must understand this because it is not going away. As you lead your volunteers, this is your new reality.

People have less time, less energy, and less desire to do the things they did in 2019. Churches must account for this and think through this.

As a pastor or team lead, you must continually check on your team. How are they physically, emotionally, spiritually, relationally, and mentally? You must keep a pulse on your team, and the dashboards running your team, to ensure you have the energy you need to make it to the end.

We stopped looking forward. During COVID-19, it was about what is next. The next day, the next week. And that makes sense because things were changing daily and weekly. Could we open this week? What did we need to know to open this week? What were the current guidelines for gathering, etc.? What were people’s comfort levels about those guidelines?

What happened because of that, though, is we stopped looking forward. We stopped asking questions about the next year, 3 – 5 years, and beyond. Ten-year visions were thrown out; sermon planning was thrown out because we changed our sermon schedules every month.

But now, as a leader, you must pull back and ask where you are going in the next 3 – 5 years. What dreams has God placed on your heart?

Many pastors and church teams don’t have the energy to look forward and dream. That’s why raising your leadership capacity is so important to lead to what is next. 

You must take time to ask, what is our next big goal? Our next big dream that God has given to us?

The churches, pastors, and teams who can start to dream again will catalyze their church for the future

No one knows who is responsible anymore. During 2020 – 2021, everyone’s jobs changed. Suddenly, you were doing things you weren’t hired to do because things changed and new things had to get done. Or, churches were trying to figure out how to fill 40 hours a week for people who no longer needed to do what they were doing. 

Then, as churches started to regather, old responsibilities were added back on; some roles stayed the same, and others completely changed. It created situations where people need clarification on who is doing what or what the win for their role is anymore. They are wearing multiple hats, and some of those hats aren’t what they were hired for. 

Hence the exhaustion that everyone is feeling. 

But as a leader, you must bring clarity to your organization

Who is doing what? Who is responsible for what? What are your top 3 priorities right now as a church?

There was less oversight. As more and more churches embraced working from home or a hybrid office model, there was less and less oversight. I talk to many lead pastors who are now frustrated with the lack of work their teams are producing and aren’t sure what to do about it. 

It is a combination of exhaustion and the reality of being thrust into a remote work environment you didn’t plan for. Most pastors struggle to embrace it and figure out how to thrive. 

Your team might need more oversight. If they do, they need to be trained, or else you have the wrong team. The best staff don’t need oversight but coaching and guardrails so they can thrive in them. 

As a pastor, I know what you’re thinking: “I don’t have the energy to train and coach people. I’m exhausted.” You must deal with your exhaustion so you can step up your game

In this post-COVID world, we must focus more on results and what is being accomplished than the old way of working at church, where we focused on how many hours people were in the office. 

Do you have clear objectives for yourself? For your team? What do you hope to accomplish in the next 3 – 12 months? Does everyone have clear results to accomplish week in and week out? Don’t just assume they know because there is a good chance they don’t.

What we tolerated and allowed during COVID-19. Whatever level of work you allowed and tolerated on your staff during 2020-2021, that is now what your team thinks you tolerate and allow in 2023 and beyond. 

If it was okay to hand things in late, not get things done, and blow off assignments, that happened because of the changing world we live in. Many employees and pastors now think that is normal, and it will require you to have some hard conversations and deal with some things in your work culture. 

The reality of the last few years is that work standards changed across industries. But in the church world, we have this idea that being nice is the same as being Christlike. So, we don’t have hard conversations or talk about work being done below the acceptable level (or not at all) because we don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. Holding someone accountable is being Christlike. Tolerating poor work, or no work, is not okay.

For churches, people give every week, so our standard of work must be high. Not perfection. Not killing ourselves, but it must be worth the investment people make in the church and the kingdom of God. 

Covid changed our world and our churches. We must pull back to ask how and if we like what it did. If not, it is time to do the work to make course corrections. 

And yes, this will take work. 

I talk to many leaders who are exhausted (and I feel it), but the job of leaders is to get in there and lead. Do what you need to do, what God has called you and your church to do. There is too much at stake for you to coast through leadership

9 Ideas to Make the Holidays Special for Your Family

Christmas

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December is a unique, special month.

There are parties to attend, gifts to buy, cards to send, food to make and eat, and memories to be made. Kids will be off from school, parents will be off from work, and Christmas specials will be on TV.

If you plan as a parent, you can make December a special month.

Here are some ideas:

Listen to Christmas music. I’m not a big fan of Christmas music. If you know me, this isn’t news. However, starting at Thanksgiving, we listen to it almost non-stop until Christmas. Why? It is a good tradition.

Take your kids out. Go to a park, go to Starbucks for a treat, and play a game or whatever they decide (within reason). You can use this time to get a gift for their siblings or others in your life. This can also be a time for you to help them process the past year and what you have experienced as a family.

Record Christmas specials and watch them together. Kids love Christmas specials. At least my kids do. So, record them (or pull them up on Netflix and Disney+) and watch them together. The memories this creates are incredible for your family.

The tree. Whether you go out and cut down your tree, buy one, or have a fake one, make putting up the tree special. Build it up, plan it, make your ornaments, tell stories about the ornaments you are putting up, and listen to Christmas music.

Do a special outing as a family. Some families go caroling or sledding. Some shop on Black Friday together. Many families in New England see lights, check out Christmas Markets, or see A Christmas Carol. Whatever you do, do something together and create traditions.

Eat special (and bad for you) food. I’m a health nut about what I eat. At the holidays, I ease off the gas pedal on that. Eat an extra dessert. Have the same thing each year to create a tradition. At our house on Christmas Eve, we make cream of crab soup and have chocolate fondue for dessert. We don’t make it any other time, so it is extra special.

Get pajamas. This is a popular one, but it creates a rhythm for your family around the holidays.

Celebrate Advent. One of our favorites is Counting the Days, Lighting the Candles: A Christmas Advent Devotional.

Slow down and be together. Years from now, your kids will remember very little about life as a child, but they will remember if you were there. So will you. Don’t miss it. Work isn’t that important. That party isn’t that important. Shopping for one more thing isn’t important if it keeps you from being with those you love (unless you do that together). I’ve been reminded recently by the illnesses of close friends of the brevity of life.

4 Keys to Biblical Generosity

Over the years, many things have been said in sermons and classes at church about giving and generosity. I’ve heard pastors berate people from the stage, guilt people into giving, or have a narrow view of generosity, which is seen as only about money instead of the broader context that Scripture gives. 

When scripture talks about generosity, it includes money, but it also includes our time and our talents. 

Throughout the New Testament, Jesus and others continually tell us that wherever we spend our time, our talents and treasure matter to us. We can say with our lips that we want to honor God and that God is a priority in our lives, but if we don’t back that up with how we spend our lives, we are fooling ourselves. 

In 1 Timothy 6, Paul wants us to ask ourselves if we are trusting in God or if we are trusting in the uncertainty of wealth. 

So, what does it look like to honor and trust God with our finances? To be generous in a way that honors God. The writers of the New Testament give us 4 words to guide our generosity:

Worshipful. Generosity is an act of worship.

Every time we are generous, we are worshiping. Every time we aren’t generous, we are worshiping. 

Being generous with our time, talents, and treasure shows that we believe everything belongs to God and worship him. As Paul tells us in 1 Timothy 6, we place our hope in God. 

But when we are stingy and hold our time, talents, and treasures tightly, we worship something else. That might be security, more prestige, our kid’s sports calendars, etc. 

But Paul tells us every action and decision is an act of worship, either towards God or towards the uncertainty of wealth. 

When we are generous, we are reminding ourselves who owns everything. We are stewarding what God owns and has entrusted to us.

When we share our finances, time, and talents with those around us, we worship and give glory to God, who gave us these things to use. 

Proportional. The word tithe means “tenth,” where giving 10% back to God comes from. If you aren’t giving back to God and want to move forward in generosity, that is a great place to start but not where to end.

What is proportional for one person isn’t for another.

Each year, Katie and I pray through upping our percentage of what we give back to God.

Not only because generosity is the first step to contentment.

But have you ever met someone generous and miserable? I haven’t. They’re always happy.

The same happens with time and talent. Each person has different amounts of time they can give in each stage of life. Your proportion of time is different in your teens, your 30’s, compared to your 60’s. 

Sacrificial. Giving away $100 might be a lot for one person but not for another.

Giving should stretch us. It should change us and our priorities. 

In many ways, it should make us go ouch. That is what sacrifice means. It hurts a little bit. It pushes us and challenges us.

That is what generosity should do.

Andy Stanley said, Giving 10% makes many people uncomfortable, extremely uncomfortable. But then, so is a colonoscopy, and those save countless lives.

Being uncomfortable isn’t bad.

Discomfort is sometimes the thing we need to grow in our faith. 

Intentional. This means you planned it. It didn’t just happen.

In 2 Corinthians 9, when Paul talks about generosity, he says that each person should decide in his heart.

This means you decide ahead of time.

I encourage everyone in our church to give using automated giving on the giving envelope. It means you decide ahead of time.

Here’s the question for us: Is your giving worshipful, proportional, sacrificial, and intentional?