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7 Thoughts for Parenting a Young Family During the Presidential Election Season & 3 Other Posts You Should Read this Weekend

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Each Friday I share some posts that I’ve come across in the last week. They range in topics and sources but they are all things I’ve found interesting or helpful that I hope will be interesting and helpful to you. Here are 4 posts I came across this week that challenged my thinking or helped me as a leader, pastor, husband and father:

  1. 7 Thoughts for Parenting a Young Family During the Presidential Election Season by Ron Edmondson
  2. 3 Shifts Growing Churches Make to Welcome the Lost [The Growing Church] by Brandon Kelley
  3. The Pastor’s Facebook Feed by Lauren Hunter
  4. The Internal Battles of Even the Best Pastors by Brandon Cox
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Leaders Make Decisions Others Don’t

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While leadership is many things, vision casting, team building, strategic thinking, developing leaders, leadership can also be boiled down to one very important thing: decision making.

Now to be fair, all people, bosses, employees, volunteers, and pastors, make decisions in a church or organization. But one thing sets leaders apart: they make decisions others don’t.

Leaders are the ones who are faced with making decisions that will be unpopular, that will decide what is right and wrong in a church or organization, and that will affect others.

3 decisions leaders make that others don’t.

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Here are a few:

1. Vision decisions. It is the job of a leader to cast vision, to set direction for a preferred future. This is best done in teams, with the buy in of key leaders, but there are also times when a leader must say, “This is it; that is not it.” Vision divides, vision clarifies. Vision also unites. Vision says, “We’re going here, not there.” Vision says what the win is, which also means vision says what the loss is.

These can run up against “what has always been done”, what used to work, and sometimes what is still working but isn’t what needs to be done.

Vision also decides how resources are allocated, what money is spent on, what staff and volunteers are needed and not needed. This can be incredibly difficult.

Many people in leadership roles simply skip this. They don’t push to make a clarifying decision, which is still making a decision, but it is the one of least resistance.

2. Being willing to be unpopular. Ronald Heifetz says, “Exercising leadership might be best understood as disappointing people at a rate they can absorb.” This also means that as a leader, you must be willing to be unpopular with someone at some point. Now as a leader you don’t set out to make people mad or be a jerk (although some do), but sometimes that happens. It should never be a goal, though.

This means that to be a leader you must develop tough skin. You must develop clarity as to who you are, who you aren’t, where you want to go and where you don’t want to go. You must know which hills you will choose to die on, because you will die on those hills. Not every hill is worth dying on, but you must know which ones are.

Leaders know which hills are worth dying on.

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3. Decisions that affect others. The last thing that separates leaders is that they are willing to make decisions that affect not only themselves but others. These are the decisions that keep me up at night. Ones about hiring or firing, setting salaries, making budget decisions that will have an impact not only on the financial situation of someone else, but also their happiness if we stop doing something as a church that they love.

These are incredibly difficult, and too many pastors are unwilling to make these calls. They aren’t easy, but being a leader isn’t supposed to be easy.

These decisions, when taken together, are some of the things that make someone a leader. Are they willing to make decisions others are not willing to make?

3 decisions that set leaders apart.

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The Vending Machine of Sins

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I want you to imagine a vending machine for a minute. You walk up to it, put your money in, and begin to decide on your selection. Instead of coffee and candy, this vending machine has sins as the options.

At the top, you have the big ones: theft, murder, porn, drugs—things that can destroy you. Ones that you’ve heard pastors tell you to avoid over and over. You start to move down toward the bottom (you know, where the gum is in a vending machine), and you have debt, gossip, tardiness, overworking, skipping children’s practice, gluttony, anorexia.

The sins closer to the bottom you will rarely hear about in a sermon. People won’t make many Bible studies on them—Jesus said very little about them—but they are equally sins and equally destructive.

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Many people, in an effort to be holy, to appear holy, or just to make themselves feel better, choose the sins at the bottom. They rationalize that they no longer sleep around, but now they can’t trust people and enter into true community. A dad no longer looks at porn, but now he can’t control his temper with his wife and kids. You don’t work as much, but now you are struggling to find meaning and enjoy life because soccer practices and helping with homework is not as exciting as climbing the corporate ladder.

From the time I was eleven until I was twenty-one, porn was a daily struggle for me. I was embarrassed, ashamed, and I felt guilty every time I would fall into it. I tried accountability groups, accountability software, taking runs, making vows to God. Even after I got married, it never seemed to go away.

If you were to rank sins in the church, many people would put porn up at the top as one of those sins you should avoid. It is destructive and causes enormous pain to you and those around you.

When I turned twenty-one, something started to change for me. I started to look at porn less and less, but I was eating more and more. At one point, I ballooned up to almost three hundred pounds when Katie and I got married.

I chose eating too much.

At this point, I was excited. I was no longer looking at porn. The problem was I was still sinning. I still believed lies, still crowded out my life, and didn’t have breathing room.

Many of us pick and choose sins so that we’ll feel less guilty.

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The difference was that I felt less guilty and, interestingly, while I put on weight, no one said anything. I was congratulated by my accountability group for not looking at porn, and I felt like I was on my way to life. Sinning less does not equal life, especially when sinning less is simply trading for a sin that seems less destructive or that one no one talks about as a sin.

I still chose sin. I still chose an idol.

This is where much of the talk about freedom and addictions gets off track for many people and why they feel like failures in the end.

Yes, you have through the power of God conquered an addiction like debt, eating too much, working too much, or looking at porn, but you don’t feel whole. You don’t feel like you are living life. Something is missing.

You give up one things, but maybe you substituted something else from the vending machine of sins that so many of us find ourselves standing in front of each and every day. You have simply made another choice. Often, that choice is a sin that is less destructive, more acceptable, or less noticeable.

Choosing Life

There is also an option in the vending machine labeled life.
 This causes you to stop, because you remember that Jesus said in John 10:10 that he came to give us life. That is the reason for the gospel, the hope we have.
 If you have traded sins, as we often do, Jesus’s words in John 10:10 about having life to the fullest seem like a far-off mirage. Instead, your life feels like the other description in that verse: killed and destroyed.

What is missing?

This is why it’s so important to understand the sin under the sin, the thing that drives you to sin.

We all want life, but few actually choose to walk down that road for this simple reason: we choose sin instead of life because we know where it leads, what the road will be like.

we choose sin instead of life because we know where it leads.

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Life is out of control and will take us to places we know we should go to but aren’t sure we want to. If I choose anger, I know what my life will be like. I know where debt, greed, and not trusting people will get me. I know how it will feel and what I’ll be like when I get there. I am unsure of how things will go if I trust you, or if I walk away from temptation instead of giving in.

Trusting Jesus for Life

Life is a hard choice to make. The reason I know is that few people seem to make it. We are content to take the easier path and choose a sin.

When Jesus talks about coming to bring us life in John 10, he does so by using the image of a shepherd. This might be weird for you to understand; after all, you don’t look out your window and see a lot of shepherds.

In the first century, shepherds were very common. For sheep, a shepherd provided protection. The shepherd took the sheep to food and water, showed them where the grass was, where to sleep, and while the sheep slept, the shepherd kept watch and slept at the gate.

Jesus says that he is the good shepherd. “Good” carries the idea of righteous, trustworthy; a benefit to someone, and having the qualities needed for a particular role.

This is crucial to the choice between life or our idols.

The reason many people do not choose life is that they don’t see Jesus as trustworthy, as a benefit, or having the qualities needed for what he promises. They look at their life, their idols, and their desire for meaning, and choose another option in the vending machine of life. They don’t choose the way of Jesus.

I get it; trust is hard to come by. Promises have been made and broken to you. Marriage vows were not kept; a person trusted to protect you abused you instead. A promise of money and a job was taken away. A secret that was entrusted to someone was posted all over Facebook and destroyed you.

The idea of trusting anything to Jesus can be a leap for many people.

The idea of trusting anything to Jesus can be a leap for many people.

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What about him being righteous? You can point to people you looked up to, respected, talked about being righteous, only to find out that they weren’t. Pastors who can’t stay pure, bosses who took advantage of you and failed to give you that bonus. It might be a spouse who failed to be faithful to you.

I think for many people, while trust and righteousness are roadblocks to choosing life in Jesus, it is the other two that trip us up: “a benefit to someone” and “having the qualities needed for a particular role.”

In the moment of temptation, in the moment of desire, we don’t see the benefit of choosing life instead of our sin. We only see what we want. As we sit at the computer late at night and the desire to look at porn comes, we don’t see the benefit to purity, only the desire we have. When we face the temptation to take a shortcut at work and not have integrity, we don’t see the benefit of integrity, only what comes from taking the shortcut and how we can get ahead.

When we face our child wanting to be on three sports teams, after-school programs, the Bible studies you signed up for, the work hours that you have to keep, we don’t see the benefit of slowing down and doing less, only the feeling that if we don’t do all this, we will miss something. What will we talk about if we have a family dinner every night? Will we sit there in silence? That doesn’t feel like a benefit, but activities do.

We have gone so long without life that we no longer know what it feels like or the benefits that come with it.

Because of all that, we are unsure if Jesus will deliver on his promise. What if Jesus does what my spouse, parent, or boss did? What if Jesus fails to deliver as my idol does? We run this over and over in our minds.

I think this is why Jesus calls himself the shepherd and those who follow him the sheep. It will take trust on our part to find life.

*This is an excerpt from my brand new book, Breathing Room: Stressing Less & Living More. Click on the link to purchase it.

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Why You Do What You Do

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Do you have something in your life that you wished weren’t true? Something you want to stop doing but can’t? A feeling or emotion you wished you didn’t have? A memory you can’t shake?

Do you know why you do what you do?

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The book of Ecclesiastes is one of the most interesting books in the Bible. If you’ve never read it, here are the CliffsNotes. The writer of Ecclesiastes is called the Preacher. It might have been Solomon, but we aren’t sure. We do know that the Preacher was wealthy, had a lot of land, buildings, crops, money, and servants. He had influence, the life that people long to have. Yet he was miserable.

The book of Ecclesiastes is written at the end of the Preacher’s life, and he looks back on what he accomplished, the search for meaning that he went on. He searched for meaning in sex, in building, land, jobs, money, career, relationships, and food and wine. You name it, he tried it.

Yet he came up empty.

Three thousand years after the book of Ecclesiastes was writ- ten, you and I still try to prove the Preacher wrong. “He may not have been able to find meaning in running from one thing to the next, but I will. He may not have found meaning in relationships and giving his heart and body away, but I will. He may not have found meaning in food and wine, but I will.”

We don’t say this, at least not out loud. But when we sin, we do so out of a desire to find meaning. We sin from a place of emp- tiness. We sin from a place of wanting to be filled up. The search for meaning drives many of our decisions, and ultimately it’s the driving factor in our search for breathing room.

The Idol You Worship

Every time we sin, we do so because we don’t believe Jesus is truer or better. At that moment we believe that sin will bring us more happiness, joy, and satisfaction. We sin because of something.

Maybe you’ve seen the emptiness that comes from simply trying to stop something. It is impossible because you haven’t uncovered the root cause. You can get rid of the effects of the mold or the mildew in your house, but until you fix how it gets there, it will just come back.

Our sins are the same way.

Have you ever been to a buffet—one where the plates are stacked, and whenever you pull a plate off, they all move up? Think of your life and sins as being like that stack of plates. Most of the time when we sin or hear a sermon, it is about the plate on top. To see true change, to see the things that crowd out our lives get conquered by the power of Jesus, we have to keep pulling up plates until we get to the last one. What we’ll call the sin under the sin.

Here are a few questions to uncover what that is for you. As we go through them, take some time to write down your answers.

  • What is the first thing on your mind in the morning and the last thing on your mind at night?
  • How long does it take you to check Facebook in the morning?
  • Do you daydream about purchasing material goods that you don’t need, with money you don’t have, to impress people you don’t like?
  • What do you habitually, systematically, and undoubtedly drift toward in order to obtain peace, joy, and happiness in the privacy of your heart?
  • When a certain desire is not met, do you feel frustration, anxiety, resentment, bitterness, anger, or depression?
  • Is there something you desire so much that you are will- ing to disappoint or hurt others in order to have it?
  • What do you respond to with explosive anger or deep despair?
  • What dominates your relationships?
  • What do you dream about when your mind is on idle-mode? What, if you lost it, would make life not worth living?
How to find the idol of your heart.

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What came up while reading through those questions? Do you find yourself daydreaming about people liking you or accepting you? Do you find yourself checking to see how many people liked your Facebook update? Do you have a desire that you have to fulfill every day?

I talk to a lot of guys who tell me they are addicted to porn, masturbate, or cheat because a man “has needs.” My response to that is, “Have you ever heard of someone dying from a lack of sex? Ever been to a funeral, and when you asked why they died, the answer was, ‘It was crazy. All of a sudden Bob’s wife stopped having sex with him, and he just died.’” No. Many of the things we put in the“need”category—sex, shopping, work, adrenaline—are not needs but desires. Many of them are good desires given to us by God that are corrupted by our sin.

That last one is a crucial question. The answer to the last question will begin to uncover the idol that drives your life. Idols in our hearts are the things we worship and serve instead of Jesus. They are the good things in our lives that we make great and ultimate.

What if you lost your job or your house? What if a relationship ended? What if your business closed?

For example, we love our kids. I can’t imagine the devastation of losing a child. I’ve sat with parents who have, and as a father, it scares me to think about such a thing. But if losing a child would make life not worth living, what does that say about my view of Jesus? What does that say about how I have elevated the view of my kids in my life?

Now, here is what you will learn about your idols. They are usually not bad things. My kids, my wife, my job, pastoring, writing, working out, spending time with friends, going to the beach, taking that dream vacation, watching my Steelers play, enjoying a great cup of coffee or a good bottle of wine—good things.

They become sins when we make them ultimate things. They become sins when we put them ahead of Jesus. They become sins when we look to them to give us our identity, to give us hope, to meet our needs and make us happy.

We buy into this thinking often in our relationships and our careers. Everyone can quote Jerry Maguire saying, “You complete me.” When couples get married or are engaged, if you were to ask them why they are getting married, they might tell you the other person completes them.“I can’t imagine my life without them.”This is a good thing, but it can also reveal the brokenness in our hearts.

Our lives quickly become connected to this identity. We find our identity as Bobby’s mom, as Julie’s husband, as the business owner, as the teacher, as the guy who works out, as the person with the cool house, as the Bible guy, or the woman who is put together.

If we aren’t careful, what is good in our lives quickly becomes the defining aspect of our lives. When that happens, we believe a lie.

*This is an excerpt from my brand new book, Breathing Room: Stressing Less & Living More. Click on the link to purchase it.

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The Most Important Thing for your Family…Right Now

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One of the things that Patrick Lencioni suggests that families do in The Three Big Questions for a Frantic Family: A Leadership Fable About Restoring Sanity To The Most Important Organization In Your Life is to ask, “Over the next three to six months, what is the most important thing for our family to accomplish?”

Over the next three to six months, what is the most important thing for our family to accomplish?

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This has been incredibly helpful and liberating for our family.

It is easy to look at a book like this and think, “I need to change my schedule, cut things out, get out of debt, work on my health and waistline, let go of things in my past, and deal with hidden sins.” It can be overwhelming. And that is just you. When you bring a spouse and kids into the picture, it becomes incredibly daunting.

That is why this question is so helpful.

What is the most important change you can make right now? What would bring the most freedom to your family and life right now? What would bring the biggest change to your life right now? Sometimes this can last for more than six months or less than three. Debt can take a while to get out of, and so can losing weight, but once the habit is created, I think you can move on to a new one.

This also does something else for you, and it is an important psychological reality: it provides a win.

How to win as a family.

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We all like to win. We all like to feel as if results are happening, especially men. We want to know that the work we are putting in is paying off and moving the ball forward. By looking to a short-term goal like this, you are able to see that something is happening.

*This is an excerpt from my brand new book, Breathing Room: Stressing Less & Living More. Click on the link to purchase it.

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Leadership is Playing Well with Others

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Often, I’ll talk with younger leaders who want to be further along in their career than they are. They want to be leading a church, on the front lines of making decisions, but they aren’t.

Many people never reach their potential because of their anger for being “overlooked.”

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I’ll hear from older leaders who wish they had more influence, that people would listen to their ideas.

Recently, I was talking with someone who told me, “It’s frustrating that my talents are being wasted. Why doesn’t anyone let me do what I know I can do?”

What would you say? Have you ever felt this way?

Now to be clear and fair, sometimes churches and companies fail to see talent. The people in leadership are so concerned about keeping their post that they don’t let anyone rise up and have a shot. They keep new ideas at bay so as to not look bad themselves. This does happen and it breaks my heart when it does.

When I was this leader, feeling overlooked, not appreciated. When I would look at the lead pastor that I worked for and thought, “I could do his job. Why don’t they listen to my ideas? When am I going to get my shot?”

What I never asked myself was, why am I not getting my shot?

Have you ever asked yourself why you’re being overlooked for a position?

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At least not in a way to discover an answer. I asked out of frustration, not for the goal of discovery.

A few years ago there was a person in our church who wanted badly to be a leader. This person had a lot of qualities that made for a good leader: hard worker, creative, talented. Yet, they couldn’t play well with others. Everywhere this person went, bodies would be left on the ground (not literally). No one wanted to be on a team with this person.

I could relate because I was that person when I was 22. I was pushy, demanding, sometimes demeaning. People were there for my vision, my goals.

If you can’t play well with others, you’ll never be a leader.

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It wasn’t until I sat down and dove into, why am I being overlooked that I realized, I wasn’t nice. I wasn’t fun. I wasn’t someone that others wanted to work with and be with.

This is a hard truth to see in the mirror.

As one mentor told me, “People who bite don’t make good leaders.”

People who bite don’t make good leaders.

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Often, the reason someone never realizes their full potential or gets their ideas heard on a team is because they don’t get along with others. People will go out of their way for those who play well with others, but will hinder the potential of those who don’t.

Right or wrong. That’s the way people work.

If you want to be all that God has called you to be, you must get along with others.

If you want to be all that God has called you to be, you must get along with others.

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3 Strikes and a Good Idea

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In Leadership Blindspots: How Successful Leaders Identify and Overcome the Weaknesses That Matter author Robert Bruce Shaw talks about the 3 strike rule used by Mark Ronald, former CEO of BAE Systems, Inc. The idea comes that not every decision needs to be resolved right away. Even in a fast paced environment like our culture today, you can sit on ideas.

For me, whenever someone says, “I need to know now” my response is almost always, “Well if you need to know now, the answer is no.” I don’t like to feel backed into a corner and wise decisions are rarely made in a rush.

Wise decisions are rarely made in a rush.

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According to Ronald, “any concern that affects the whole organization should be given 3 opportunities for a hearing by the leader and his or her team.” He goes on, “Each time the same issue surfaces, the individual advocating the position has a responsibility to either present new date or analysis that has not been heard before – or to cultivate further support from others who were not present or supportive in earlier discussions.”

One of the things people often do when advocating an idea is bring the same stats, data, passion, etc. to a discussion. Not new information.

According to Ronald, after 3 times though, the idea is dead in the water and not discussed again.

If you can’t get buy in from the people above you after 3 tries, you either didn’t do your homework, the organization isn’t ready for it, or the church will miss an opportunity.

If you aren’t in charge though, you can only control the data you bring in your 3 tries.

Let’s say you are not the lead pastor at your church and you bring an idea to the elders or lead pastor and they shoot it down. Instead of walking away frustrated, saying they have no idea what they are talking about or how they are irrelevant and just don’t get it. Ask them if you can do some more work on the idea and present it again. If it is a valid idea, they should say yes.

The next time you see a problem that you bring to your boss’s attention, also bring a solution with it. Your boss does not want to solve your problems, they want you to. You are the leader of your area, act like it.

A simple way to get buy in on any decision.

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Why You Need to Get Away Every Year with Your Spouse

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I know what you are thinking, “I can’t get away every year with my spouse. It’s hard enough to take vacation with everything our kids do and we do and the money.”

Yet, the longer you are married, the most important things Katie and I do are weekly date nights and yearly getaways. And before you think I’m crazy about the cost of this, date night doesn’t have mean you go somewhere. Some of our best date nights have been at home.

So why is a yearly getaway so important? A couple reasons:

  1. Life is crazy and all consuming.
  2. It is easy to lose spontaneity in marriage and get stuck in the cycle of life.
  3. Kids have a way of wrecking any romantic moment. They have a radar that tells them when romance is happening and they wake up right then and knock on your door!

So how do you make this happen and pay for it? Here are a few ideas:

  1. Plan ahead. It won’t happen if you don’t plan it. Because of figuring out babysitting and the expense, you will probably have to save up. This also can show your spouse how important this is, that you are planning it.
  2. Go on an off season. I know, it is more romantic to go on your anniversary, but that might be the most expensive time of the year or the hardest to get away, so go when it is cheapest and easiest. And no, that isn’t being lazy, that’s being smart.
  3. Stay in town. You don’t need to take a cruise. Find a groupon deal for a bed and breakfast where you live and go there.
3 ways to make a yearly getaway happen with your spouse.

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The goal is simple: go away without your kids, just your spouse and do things you each like. It might be a foodie tour of restaurants, sitting at a coffee shop all day or sleeping in.

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How to Lead in Good & Bad Times

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Peacetime CEO knows that proper protocol leads to winning. Wartime CEO violates protocol in order to win.

Peacetime CEO focuses on the big picture and empowers her people to make detailed decisions. Wartime CEO cares about a speck of dust on a gnat’s ass if it interferes with the prime directive.

Peacetime CEO builds scalable, high-volume recruiting machines. Wartime CEO does that, but also builds HR organizations that can execute layoffs.

Peacetime CEO spends time defining the culture. Wartime CEO lets the war define the culture.

Peacetime CEO always has a contingency plan. Wartime CEO knows that sometimes you gotta roll a hard six.

Peacetime CEO knows what to do with a big advantage. Wartime CEO is paranoid.

Peacetime CEO strives not to use profanity. Wartime CEO sometimes uses profanity purposefully.

Peacetime CEO thinks of the competition as other ships in a big ocean that may never engage. Wartime CEO thinks the competition is sneaking into her house and trying to kidnap her children.

Peacetime CEO aims to expand the market. Wartime CEO aims to win the market.

Peacetime CEO strives to tolerate deviations from the plan when coupled with effort and creativity. Wartime CEO is completely intolerant.

Peacetime CEO does not raise her voice. Wartime CEO rarely speaks in a normal tone.

Peacetime CEO works to minimize conflict. Wartime CEO heightens the contradictions.

Peacetime CEO strives for broad-based buy-in. Wartime CEO neither indulges consensus building nor tolerates disagreements.

Peacetime CEO sets big, hairy, audacious goals. Wartime CEO is too busy fighting the enemy to read management books written by consultants who have never managed a fruit stand.

Peacetime CEO trains her employees to ensure satisfaction and career development. Wartime CEO trains her employees so they don’t get their asses shot off in the battle.

Peacetime CEO has rules like “We’re going to exit all businesses where we’re not number one or two.” Wartime CEO often has no businesses that are number one or two and therefore does not have the luxury of following that rule.

From The Hard Thing About Hard Things: Building a Business When There Are No Easy Answers by Ben Horowitz

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How to Find the Right Boss

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The church I lead is hiring 2 new staff members right now and while I’ve learned a ton about hiring (a post coming soon), I have also learned a lot about how to pick a boss. Often, when someone talks about finding a job or a career, we simply look at the company, the perks, the pay, location and the values and mission of the church or organization and decide on that. Yet, studies show people leave jobs more because of their boss than anything else. In fact, people will take less money to stay with a boss they love.

One of the questions I ask each person we interview is this: Tell me about your ideal lead pastor. What can he do to help you succeed? What things can he do to hamper your growth? These questions tell me a few things: do they know what they are looking for in a boss? Do they know themselves well enough to know what they need to succeed?

I believe, one of the reasons we don’t succeed or move forward in life is because we aren’t sure what that looks like.

If I was telling someone looking for a job who would not be the boss, but would have a boss I would tell you a few things:

  1. Know who you are. This means that you need to understand your gifts, talents, personality, strengths, and weaknesses. This may seem like an obvious thing, but many are unsure of how they are wired. If you aren’t sure how you are wired, you won’t know how will you fit with a boss or a culture. Do you like teamwork, working alone? Do you want a strict office or more laid back policies? Each church has a different culture based on its leaders, city and history and you need to understand this. I was on staff at a good church in Wisconsin and it was a terrible cultural fit. They wanted high extroverts who wanted a casual business dress with regular office hours. Doing student ministry at the time, this was not a good fit for me. Others would have loved it.
  2. Know what you need to succeed. This follows closely with the first one, but know what environment and kind of boss you need to succeed. Do you want a micro manager who one who is hands off? How much say do you want in the vision and culture of the church? What things are non-negotiable things for you and what are more open handed issues and beliefs? These questions will help you determine if someone or a church is a good fit. Otherwise, you will choose on location, style and pay and those are not always the best reasons to choose a job.
  3. Find someone worth following. If you are not the CEO, Lead Pastor or lead whatever, one of your main concerns is finding a leader you want to follow. That leader will decide so much about your career, livelihood, excitement, passion and happiness in your life that finding the wrong can be devastating. It adds stress, disappointment, hurt, possibly abuse and pain. I can’t emphasize enough that you need to spend time figuring out the kind of leader you want to follow, if the person you are interviewing with or working for right now is the leader you want to follow and make a choice. I think more leaders who not be the lead pastor need to spend more time thinking about the kind of person they are working for or following instead of judging a job based on salary and perks.

In the end, finding the right boss can be just as important as finding the right job. When you find the right boss, I would encourage you to think hard before you go looking for a new one. They aren’t easy to find, as anyone who has worked for the wrong boss can attest.