Tag Archives: calling

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Five Things That Destroy Your Courage in Life

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To accomplish anything in life, you need courage.

You need the courage to get out of bed each morning and face the day. It takes courage to tell a boss, co-worker, spouse or friend what you need or want. It takes courage to lead anything forward. It takes courage to parent. It takes courage to quit a job and leave security to chase a dream.

But courage is easily lost. And when it’s lost, we miss out on new things, great things.

In their excellent book The Practice of Adaptive Leadership, the authors list five things that hold us back from having the courage to face the road ahead:

5 things that hold us back from having the courage to face the road ahead.

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1. Loyalties to people who may not believe you are doing the right thing. We often underestimate the power of people in our lives, especially people from our past. Teachers, parents, first bosses or coaches, guidance counselors, boyfriends, girlfriends; they all make an impact. They have said things that encouraged us and pushed us forward, but they have also said things that have cut us.

My guidance counselor in high school told me I wasn’t college material and I should give up that goal and get a job working with my hands. That has always rung in my head. I am constantly fighting the battle of feeling like I belong somewhere, or that I am smart enough to be sitting at a table.

Are the loyalties you have to people in your past holding you back in any way? Are there any messages ringing in your head that are keeping you from reaching for a dream?

2. Fear of incompetence. Nobody wants to look dumb, unprepared or not up to the task. Failure paralyzes so many of us.

The reality is, anything new will be a learning curve. Asking for help is difficult for many of us, but is the only way to new things.

If you knew all that you needed to know to reach that future goal or dream, you’d probably be there by now. But you aren’t.

If it’s helpful, make a list of things that you don’t know, do you know anyone who is an expert in those things? Podcasts you can listen to? Books or blogs you can read? Make an effort to grow and fight that fear of incompetence.

Now, this list will be helpful, make a list of things that could go wrong if you had the courage you needed. What is the worse thing that could happen? The irony of this list is that the worst thing that could happen is rarely horrible.

Five Things That Destroy Your Courage in Life

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3. Uncertainty about taking the right path. Going closely with the fear of incompetence is the deciding on the right way forward. The reality of having courage is that you might take one step forward and three steps back, four steps to the right and then you’ll be on the right path.

That’s okay.

Your life isn’t over. And you aren’t too old to start over or brush off the dirt and move forward.

4. Fear of loss. The reality of anything new, any new dream or goal brings about change.

Change always involves a loss.

Sometimes that loss is good and dead weight that needs to let go of in your life, but often that loss will hurt.

If you’re a leader, you know that any change you make will bring loss because everyone won’t move forward with you. That is difficult for you and those around you.

Life and leadership are about learning to grieve the losses along the way so you can keep moving forward.

5. Not having the stomach for the hard parts of the journey. I once heard someone say that “everything great is uphill.” Probably both ways!

But it will be hard.

You will hit moments where your passion is gone, your energy is zapped, and you wonder if you can make it.

It is at this point that most people get off the dream train.

This is why I think it is so crucial for you to feel a sense of calling, purpose or meaning to what you are going after. Merely liking a challenge or thinking this is the next step for you will not get you through the hard parts.

Five Things That Destroy Your Courage in Leadership

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You will not experience all five of these today or maybe ever. There will be one that will keep you from reaching the peak of your life. It is important to know which one it is for you so you are able to see it coming a mile away and learn how to combat it.

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God is Always With Us

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God

I read this the other day:

So Abram went up from Egypt, he and his wife and all that he had, and Lot with him, into the Negeb. Now Abram was very rich in livestock, in silver, and in gold. And he journeyed on from the Negeb as far as Bethel to the place where his tent had been at the beginning, between Bethel and Ai, to the place where he had made an altar at the first. And there Abram called upon the name of the Lord. -Genesis 13:1 – 4

Abram returned to where he built his first altar.

What I often forget about Abram is that when he started walking and following God in Genesis 12, this was brand new to him. All of a sudden (it seems anyway) a voice told him to pack up and move. That’s it. And he did.

Following this God, took him to Egypt. Where Abram failed and lied.

Why?

Because he didn’t trust God.

So he leaves Egypt and returns to where he started. To where he first heard God. To where he first built an altar.

Often, after our failures and disappointments, God brings us back to where we started. He has a way when our faith is faltering to remind us of a place where our faith was strong. When struggle to trust him, he has a way of taking us to the place where we trusted him. When we find ourselves not on fire, but fizzling out, he has a way of bringing us to the place where we were on fire.

If you are in a place today, where it is hard to trust God, hard to follow God, hard to pray or listen or move forward. Return to where it began. Return to where you trusted, where you listened, prayed and followed.

Go back to where it all began.

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When A Calling Gets Hard (You Know It’s Real)

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leadership

At Revolution, we want to be a church that plants churches. This means, we have a lot of guys walking through our doors who want to plant churches. It also means I have “the calling” conversation on a regular basis. Depending on your background and denomination, “the calling” conversation takes on a variety of weights in terms of importance.

Not only do I meet a lot of guys who want to plant churches, but I also meet a lot of guys who want to be leaders or church planters because it is cool and sexy. For these guys, being a pastor is not a calling, it is a job. Sutton Turner lists 8 ways you know it is a job and not a calling:

  1. If your primary motivation is to pay your bills and provide for your family, it’s a job. If your primary motivation is to serve Jesus and be used by him as he builds his church, it’s ministry.
  2. If you want praise and recognition for your work, it’s a job. If no one else besides Jesus needs to commend what you’re doing, it’s ministry.
  3. If you want to quit because your spouse or kids have a difficult time with you working for the church, it’s a job. If your family understands that serving in a local church is difficult and costly for everyone, and if they count the cost and invest in it with you, it’s ministry.
  4. If you envision yourself in another job or position outside the church, it’s a job. If there’s no other place you would rather be, it’s ministry.
  5. If you do the job as long as it does not cut into other things (hobbies, family activities, etc.), it’s a job. If you are willing to give up recreation in order to serve, it’s ministry.
  6. If you compare yourself with others outside of church staff who have more free time, more money, and more possessions, it’s a job. If you pray for people outside of church staff and want Jesus to bless them, it’s a ministry.
  7. If it bothers you when the phone rings on evenings and weekends, it’s a job. If you see random calls at odd hours as opportunities to help with gladness, it’s ministry.
  8. If you want to quit because the work is too hard, or the pressure is too great, or your performance is criticized, it’s a job. If you stick it out, no matter what happens, until Jesus clearly tells you that it’s time to go, it’s ministry.

That last one stands out to me. The way you know you are called to something is if you stick with it when it is hard. Leadership is hard. Planting a church is hard. Sticking it out when it seems everyone else stands against you is hard. Losing friends because they don’t buy into your vision is hard. Not making a lot of money doing something is hard.

The way you know you are called to something is if you stick with it when it is hard

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Jesus is not looking for guys who want to stand on a stage, who want their name to be known or put up in lights. He is looking for people who are willing to do hard work, who are willing to not be noticed, to not be remembered, to simply point to him in all they do. That is what makes fulfilling the calling God places on your life, you don’t get the credit for it.