Mission vs. “The Way we Do Things”

In his great book Canoeing the Mountains: Christian Leadership in Uncharted Territory, Tod Bolsinger quotes James Osterhaus on the principle of Red Zone-Blue Zone decision making. 

The red zone is making decisions that are “all about me.” The blue zone is making decisions that are “all about the mission.”

One thing I see creep into churches when it comes to decisions, though, is that the mission slowly becomes the same as “the way we do things.” The line between the mission and the model slowly becomes the same line. When that happens, a church easily moves into the red zone because they make decisions to keep themselves comfortable, not make changes, or to keep power. 

The question leaders and churches need to ask themselves, according to Bolsinger, are, “Does this further our mission? Because a healthy system makes decisions that further the mission.”

Asking what furthers the mission and what furthers the way we do things are not the same question. Or, asking what furthers the mission versus what furthers the ______ (insert church name) way, are not the same question. 

Too often, churches and pastors confuse the mission and the way they do things. 

How does this happen?

Here are a few ways this creeps in:

Not having a clear mission. The first way this shows up is in not having a clear mission. If you don’t have a clear mission, this is why our church exists and what we are put on this earth to do, then it is easy to drift from that because there isn’t a right answer. 

Many churches are in this spot.

They lack clarity of mission, where they are headed, or even clarity of their strategy. And for many leaders and churches, it is easier to articulate “how” you do something instead of “why” you do something. As a result, pastors can often talk all day about how they do ministry, how they do a program but struggle to articulate why they started it, why it must keep going, why it must be this way instead of that way.  

When that happens, the way you do church becomes the mission, and you make decisions to keep your job, to stay comfortable, and to not go through the pain of change. 

Not having a clear model. Many pastors and leaders have not done the hard work of saying, “This is how we make disciples; this is how we do worship services; this is how we follow up with people.” It is far easier, they think, to bounce from one idea to another without actually asking, “How has God uniquely wired us and called us as a church for this time and place?”

God did not place you in your church or in your city to be exactly like North Point, Elevation, Saddleback, or _____. He placed you there, to be you. So, yes, learn from others, steal great ideas and implement them, but do the hard work and ask about contextualization and what makes sense for your church and your area. 

Falling in love with your model more than your mission. Leaders who do the hard work will find that their mission and model come out of their passion and story. This is one of the reasons it becomes blurry. And this is often why we fall in love with our model so easily. We created it, and it is who we are; it is what we like, what would reach us or does reach us. 

But you must stay flexible on your model (the how) and stay clear on the mission (the why). 

As Andy Stanley says, “Date the model, but marry the mission.”

Continue to ask yourself questions like:

  • What is working?
  • What is not working?
  • What isn’t clear?
  • What did we start 5, 10, 20 years ago that doesn’t make sense anymore?

Jesus continued to come back to the kingdom of God. That was what he talked about. That was his mission. Yet, he disappointed people, met people in different ways and through different means throughout his ministry. Paul did the same thing throughout the book of Acts. 

The mission was the same. However, the model and values shifted. 

Patrick Lencioni on “The Ideal Team Player” from the Leadership Summit 2016

leadership

I’m at the leadership summit with the team from Revolution Church. This is by far the best leadership conference of the year. This is my 13th summit and every year, God stretches me and challenges me. So much wisdom and inspiration wrapped up into two days. I always blog my notes, so if you can’t attend or missed something, I’ve got you covered.

Patrick Lencioni talked from his new book The Ideal Team Player: How to Recognize and Cultivate The Three Essential Virtues, which I think is a must read for every leader. His insights have been incredibly helpful to me.

Here are some takeaways:

  • The ideal team player is humble, hungry and smart.
  • If a person possesses these 3 virtues, they can overcome the 5 dysfunctions of a team. 

Humble

  • Lacking self confidence is lacking humility.
  • Humility is not saying, “I don’t need to be heard.”
  • Humility is thinking about yourself less.

Hungry

  • Hungry person has a strong work ethic.
  • They hate being considered a slacker.
  • They will do whatever is necessary to get it done.
  • This is the hardest to instill in someone.

Smart

  • Smart is not intellectual smarts, it is common sense around people.
  • People who are good at practicing EQ.
  • They know what they say to others and how it impacts them.
  • Hiring for intellectual smarts is not a good idea.

Humble, but not hungry or smart (The Pawn)

  • They aren’t effective on a team.
  • They are a good neighbor, but they don’t get something done.
  • They don’t have initiative to rise up the ranks.

Hungry, but not humble or smart (Bull Dozer)

  • Lots of drive and ambition, but they can’t work with others.
  • They leave a trail of dead bodies around them.

Smart, but not humble or hungry (The Charmer)

  • They are funny, they don’t get things done.
  • They aren’t hard working and they aren’t interested in other people’s success.

Humble and hungry, but not smart (The accidental mess maker)

  • They have good intentions, they want to get things done, but they aren’t smart emotionally.
  • Cared about the world and wanted to help people but said things he didn’t mean to.
  • Their intentions are good.

Humble and smart, but not hungry (Loveable slacker)

  • These people survive in organizations a long time.
  • They mean well and people like them.
  • They just don’t want to do that much work, they do just enough work to make it hard for you to do something about it.
  • Hard workers get really frustrated by this person.

Hungry and smart, but not humble (Skillful politician)

  • They are ambitious and hard driving and know how to make themselves look humble. They convince people that they care about the team.
  • They are often charming and driven.

Application

  • Go first as a leader.
  • Find out what your teams are like and what they are lacking.
  • You have to have the courage to let your people know where they stand and what they need to improve on and to constantly remind them (not your spouse or co-workers) when they are doing it.

How to hire team players

  • We overemphasize technical skills and what is measurable.
  • Know what you are looking for.
  • Don’t get caught up in what “you think you should look for.”
  • Behavior always rises to the top.
  • To interview someone, get them out of the office to get to know them.
  • Don’t overlook red flags and gut feelings.
  • Ask people the same question more than once.
  • Ask what other people would say about them on something, people are more honest when they tell you what other people would say.
  • Scare someone with sincerity, tell them what you are fanatical about as a church. Tell them if they line up, they’ll love it and if they aren’t, they will hate working here.

Leaders Make Decisions Others Don’t

leaders

While leadership is many things, vision casting, team building, strategic thinking, developing leaders, leadership can also be boiled down to one very important thing: decision making.

Now to be fair, all people, bosses, employees, volunteers, and pastors, make decisions in a church or organization. But one thing sets leaders apart: they make decisions others don’t.

Leaders are the ones who are faced with making decisions that will be unpopular, that will decide what is right and wrong in a church or organization, and that will affect others.

Here are a few:

1. Vision decisions. It is the job of a leader to cast vision, to set direction for a preferred future. This is best done in teams, with the buy in of key leaders, but there are also times when a leader must say, “This is it; that is not it.” Vision divides, vision clarifies. Vision also unites. Vision says, “We’re going here, not there.” Vision says what the win is, which also means vision says what the loss is.

These can run up against “what has always been done”, what used to work, and sometimes what is still working but isn’t what needs to be done.

Vision also decides how resources are allocated, what money is spent on, what staff and volunteers are needed and not needed. This can be incredibly difficult.

Many people in leadership roles simply skip this. They don’t push to make a clarifying decision, which is still making a decision, but it is the one of least resistance.

2. Being willing to be unpopular. Ronald Heifetz says, “Exercising leadership might be best understood as disappointing people at a rate they can absorb.” This also means that as a leader, you must be willing to be unpopular with someone at some point. Now as a leader you don’t set out to make people mad or be a jerk (although some do), but sometimes that happens. It should never be a goal, though.

This means that to be a leader you must develop tough skin. You must develop clarity as to who you are, who you aren’t, where you want to go and where you don’t want to go. You must know which hills you will choose to die on, because you will die on those hills. Not every hill is worth dying on, but you must know which ones are.

3. Decisions that affect others. The last thing that separates leaders is that they are willing to make decisions that affect not only themselves but others. These are the decisions that keep me up at night. Ones about hiring or firing, setting salaries, making budget decisions that will have an impact not only on the financial situation of someone else, but also their happiness if we stop doing something as a church that they love.

These are incredibly difficult, and too many pastors are unwilling to make these calls. They aren’t easy, but being a leader isn’t supposed to be easy.

These decisions, when taken together, are some of the things that make someone a leader. Are they willing to make decisions others are not willing to make?

Patience & Leadership Go Hand in Hand

leadership, patience

If you are anything like me, you are not a patient person.

Patience is hard.

I always hear people joke, don’t pray for patience.

Why?

We want things now. We are an instant culture. We want fast food. We want to post pictures instantly. It’s even called Instagram.

Patience is hard when it comes to leadership as well, not only because of the reasons just mentioned and the way we are wired and how our culture operates but because of how long things take in leadership.

Let me explain.

Leaders are future oriented people. One of the things that separates leaders from followers is the ability of leaders to see a desired future and move people towards it. Because of this, by the time things become a reality, leaders have lived with them for months, sometimes years.

When a church launches a new initiative, ministry, program, a building campaign, buys land or hires a new staff member, the leaders have anticipated this moment for months or years.

Patience is hard. And crucial.

For leaders, because change feels like an eternity to them, it is easy to forget how whiplashed our followers can feel when a change happens. For a leader, they have read books, prayed, talked to mentors and other leaders, listened, and waited for months to launch something. When their followers give pushback, they think the problem is with the followers (and it may be), but often they are not giving their followers the same time to process the change as they had to think about the change.

If you are in a spot as a leader who is about to make a change or launch something, here are some ways to handle it:

  1. Be patient. Yes, you may need to wait a little longer. The time may not be right, the funds may not be there, the momentum may not be in your corner. You may need to have a little more patience.
  2. Give people time. If you took weeks or months to research and process this decision, give your followers at least some time to sit with it. Let them ask questions. Just because someone has questions or gives pushback does not mean they are being divisive or are not on board. They are processing.
  3. Be honest about the loss, not just the excitement of the future. When discussing a change, talk about the loss. With every change there are gains and losses. Leaders see the gains, followers see the losses. Leader, look at the losses and talk about them, let your followers know you hear them, but help them see the gains.
  4. Be excited and decisive. At some point the time for patience and waiting is over, and it is time to be decisive and move forward. When is that time? It depends on the situation, but you are the leader, so you’ll know.

How to Figure out God’s Will

God's Will

Every time you say yes to something, you say no to something else.

This truth has had an enormous impact on how I live my life, how I make decisions, how we do our calendar as a family and how I lead Revolution Church.

But how do you know what to say yes and no to? That’s the most common question I get from someone who has read my book or has heard me say this in a talk. Honestly, it’s different for each person.

Too often we focus on what we want to do in the next day, week or month and then make a decision based on that. Let me frame it a different way for you: What kind of person do you want to become in the next month? In the next half year? One year from now, who do you want to be?

Will this involve doing something? Yes, but it changes the context.

For example, if a year from now you want to be closer to Jesus than you are today, a stronger disciple, then you will make the choice to say yes to community, yes to serving in your church, yes to reading your Bible, and yes to inviting people to church. That will then determine what you say no to.

Often we hope that something will happen. We will simply become kinder, more generous, thinner or smarter without putting in the work or even be willing to make a choice towards something. If you want to become a person who is known for ________, then you will have to make decisions for that to happen. A wish and a hope are not enough.

Take your marriage or another relationship. What if six months from now that relationship was stronger? It would mean that what you are doing right now would have to change. You would need to make more of an effort, you would have to say yes to giving time and energy to that relationship and saying no to something else (ie. golfing, sleeping in, working too late).

We often think we have no power over where our life goes, what our marriage becomes, the relationship we have with God or how kind we are. Yet we do. Every day we make decisions that get our life somewhere.

Here’s the problem: we never sit down to ask, Where do I want to end up?

How do You Handle Success?

success

I remember talking to a mentor once, and she asked, “Josh, do you enjoy success?”

Honestly, the question stopped me in my tracks, and I didn’t say anything for awhile.

The truth is, as a leader I am trained to fix things. I am wired to find things that are not working and make them start working or stop them. To find something that is going well and make it great.

As soon as something is fixed or working well, we go looking for the next thing to fix. Who has time to sit back and enjoy success?

But let me ask you, “How do you handle success? Do you enjoy success?”

Have you thought about that as a church leader?

Many times in life we wallow in things that aren’t working. This didn’t go our way. We didn’t get a raise or a promotion. We prayed for this, and instead that happened. It is easy to become pessimistic.

It is easy to fix things. It makes us feel active and important, like we are needed.

Most leaders do not know how to enjoy something. We are always so focused on future things and projects that we fail to see what is right in front of us.

If something just succeeded for you, take a moment and enjoy it. You worked hard for that to happen. You set goals, made sacrifices and it worked. Gather your team together and enjoy it.

How Does Your Church Make Decisions?

decisions

Most people don’t realize it, but the one thing leaders spend the majority of their time on is decision making.

I know you think you spend a lot of time on relationships and in meetings, but when you boil leadership down, much of it is spent on decisions.

Most churches don’t have a strong decision making grid that they look through. For many churches, decisions are made based on cost, if they will lose people (or make people mad) or who thought of the idea (if it is a person with power, that gives more weight to the idea in most churches).

While there are some valid points to those, making decisions through that grid won’t always get your church to where God wants it or accomplish the vision God has given you.

Think of your decision making grid as the hills you are going to die on. These aren’t necessarily theological hills, because the theological hills you will die on should kill a decision before it gets too far.

This a philosophical grid.

Here are some questions to consider for your grid:

  1. As you make a decision, will how that decision affects the next generation or empty nesters be the factor that pushes it over the edge?
  2. Are the opinions of churched people or unchurched people more important?
  3. How much does money factor into the decision?
  4. How much risk are you willing to take?
  5. Who are you willing to lose?
  6. Who do you hope to gain?

4 Ways to Learn from a Mistake

H2TSSJD4MV

No one wants to learn by mistakes, but we cannot learn enough from success to go beyond the state of the art. -Henry Petroski

Mistakes and missteps in life are painful but incredibly helpful if we don’t waste them.

When you make a decision in your church, business or life and it doesn’t pan out as you expected, what do you do with that? You can either let it go and move on pretending it never happened. You can mope about life being hard and waste the experience. Or you can dissect the decision and learn from it.

Only one of those choices will actually move you forward; the other two will keep you stuck or move you backwards.

In The Prepared Mind of a Leader: Eight Skills Leaders Use to Innovate, Make Decisions, and Solve Problems, the authors give four questions to ask as you reflect on an action or decision in your life:

  1. What did I/we expect to accomplish?
  2. What, in fact, did I/we accomplish?
  3. Why are the answers to questions 1 and 2 different? (Notice that the question is not, “Who’s to blame?”)
  4. What actions do we have to take to make sure this does not happen again? In other words, what did we learn?

Circles of Relationships

Breathing-Room

Many of us find meaning in our relationships. They shape so much of our lives. One of the reasons that we end up being tired, overwhelmed and stressed out has to do with relationships and the number of them. We often join groups, teams, committees, or make volunteer commitments without much thought. Slowly our circles of relationships begin growing to the point that we know many people but lack true community.

I want you to think about every relationship you have (serving team at church, small group, PTA, children’s sports teams, work, neighbors) as a circle. You will have multiple people in a circle, but each commitment of community makes up a circle. Even if you think you don’t spend much time with it or you don’t have friends in it, like a child’s sports team, it’s a circle.

The reality is your circles all take up time. Each time you add a new circle or a circle expands because of the commitment that circle requires, you are pulling away from another circle, and you only have so much time to go around. Many times we haphazardly add circles and then lack community. For men, as we grow older, this becomes an enormous problem.

While men don’t do relationships the way women do, we need them just as much. It seems that as men get older, because of the time they give to their career and their children’s activities, they begin pulling away from friends to the point that when a man turns forty, he can’t think of anyone to call for a beer or to go fishing.

If that’s the case for you, it means you have allowed your circles to get out of control.

In our family, when we talk about adding a new circle, we also take one away. This limits the number of circles you are a part of. We believe community is that important. And yes, this means we will miss out on things, disappoint people, and even anger people.

The other reason we run out of space in our lives as it relates to relationships has to do with the ones we choose. While hopefully you start to think through how many friends and circles of relationships you can be in, this will change as you get older and your kids get older.

We often spend time in the wrong relationships.

We end up at meetings and gatherings that we don’t want to be. We have coffee or meals with people we’d rather avoid, but for some reason, when we got invited, we said yes.

Why?

It could be fear, a sense of duty, maybe our job demands we say yes. If you can say no, why don’t you?

A few years ago Katie and I made a choice that we would spend our time with people who were life giving. If you stressed us out, ran us down, were not life giving, we didn’t want to spend time with you. That may sound mean, but with a growing family, a growing church, we don’t have a ton of time to “just hang out” with whomever. We have to be intentional about our relationships.

This is something that doesn’t get talked about enough. We talk about being intentional with our schedules, money, careers and our kids, but what about who we spend time with?

The people you spend your time with, do they challenge you, encourage you, breathe life into you, spark you to greater levels in your life? If not, why are you giving them a lot of time and energy?

The flip side of this is sometimes you become that person for people. You are the spark, the energy giver. That is okay as long as that isn’t the primary source or your relationships.

When it comes to Breathing Room, you only have so much time and space. You only have so much relational energy and time on your calendar. You have to spend it wisely. You have to think through who gets it and prioritize.

*This is an excerpt from my brand new book, Breathing Room: Stressing Less & Living More. Click on the link to purchase it.

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Get out of the Way

Why Personal Leadership Growth Matters

In his book The Entrepreneur Roller Coaster: Why Now Is the Time to #Join the Ride, Darren Hardy quotes a leader:

The only constraint of a company’s (or church’s) growth and potential is the owner’s ambition. I am the constraint. The market, the opportunity, everything is there. It’s up to me to set the pace, clear the obstacles, get the resources, and create the conversations to grow the company faster. As CEO, the most important thing I manage is myself. Do that right, and everything else falls into place.

Yet, this is one of the hardest things for a leader to do, to look in the mirror.

At every stage of a church’s growth, one of the main barriers to its growth and health is the lead pastor.

Yes, buildings get too small, you run out of kids’ space, ministry ideas get stale, but what often happens is a church grows past how a pastor is leading.

Every time a church grows, a ministry grows, a team or staff gets larger, you need to change how you lead, what you do, and what you don’t do. If you don’t make those changes, you will find yourself treading water, and ultimately you will stunt the growth of your ministry.

If you’ve gone through the barriers of 50, 100, 200, 400 and beyond, you know this to be true. What I did when the church I lead was 100 was not what I could keep doing at 200. And now that we are moving toward 500, I’m finding that how I lead, what my hands are in and what decisions I make, are changing again.

As a leader this is painful.

For those connected to you as a lead pastor, this is painful and exciting.

It is painful for some because the meeting they used to have with you they will now have with someone else. The decision you used to give feedback on, someone else will give feedback on.

It is exciting because they get to lead in a way they haven’t before. Right  now I’m handing more and more decisions off to other leaders and I’m making less and less daily decisions about my church.

This is exciting for everyone involved, but it feels weird for the leader who used to be involved with more things.

Yet, for a church to grow a leader needs to get out of the way so more leaders can play and use their gifts.