Tag Archives: easter

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God’s Love for You

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Photo by Rod Long on Unsplash

One of the strongest and clearest messages throughout the Bible is God’s love for us. We are reminded that God doesn’t forget us (even though many of us feel forgotten); that God is close to us (even though He often feels far away); and that not only has He created us in His image, but He knows us, and that doesn’t scare Him away (although we always fear that the moment someone truly understands us, they’ll bolt.)

And yet, many of us still struggle to believe God loves us.

We believe that God loves the world and that, through Jesus, God will redeem and restore it; however, we struggle to live as if this is true. 

So we run, hide, put up fronts, wear masks, beat ourselves up for past mistakes, try to earn God’s love, and try to prove ourselves worthy of God’s love. All the while, God’s love sits there.

If you’re like me, you can relate to this.

The problem for many of us is that we read verses about God’s love for the world and us (John 3:16), that Jesus loves us (John 15:9), that God predestined us in love (Ephesians 1:4 – 5), that God sings over us (Zephaniah 3:17), that God loved us first (1 John 4:19), that God draws us to Himself (John 6:44). We read the apostle Paul saying over 160 times that as a follower of Jesus, we are “in Christ”, and yet we live every day as if God is disappointed in us, indifferent towards us, mildly happy with us or “likes” us.

We’ll say, “I know God has forgiven me, but I can’t forgive myself.” Or, “God loves me, but I can’t love myself.”

When we say those things, we have made love and forgiveness something it is not. We have based that on our definitions and life.

Over the last two years, if there is one message that God has put on my heart for me to learn, it is this: His gracious, unrelenting, never-stopping love for me.

I keep returning to Luke 15 and the stories that Jesus told: a shepherd who goes after a lost lamb, a woman who searches for a coin, and a father who runs out to meet his son, who doesn’t deserve grace, let alone a party. Through this passage, God has softened my heart, enabling me to understand and feel His love.

Some of us (at least I did) balked a little at this because it seemed too emotional, making God too close and personal, and we feared it would diminish His transcendence and power. He’s God, Creator of the universe. Yes, and He’s also a personal God who created you in His image and sent His Son to die in your place so He could rescue you and so you could know His great love for you.

Here’s my challenge to you. Spend as much time as you need, months or years. Dive into Luke 15, Ephesians 1, and the passages listed above and ask God, “Show me Your love for me; help me to understand and feel Your love for me.”

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5 Lessons from the Upper Room Discourse (John 13 – 17)

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Photo by Tim Wildsmith on Unsplash

I recently wrapped up a sermon series on John 13 to 17, the upper room discourse. It takes place on the night that Jesus is betrayed by one of his followers and arrested, and is less than 24 hours from his crucifixion. Reading through these passages in that light takes on newer and more profound meanings for people who have heard these verses.

Jesus is preparing himself for what lies ahead and trying as hard as possible to prepare the disciples, especially because they do not realize what is about to happen. You see this in their questions and interactions with Jesus. The number of times that they ask him, “What are you talking about?” We don’t understand what you were talking about. They also have side conversations about Jesus’s comments about returning to the Father and not knowing what he’s talking about (John 16).

As I reflected on the series and the conversations that I had with people in my church, I thought I would share five things that stood out to me:

Jesus was serious about love.  John 13:35 is quoted quite a bit in churches. In it, Jesus says that the world will know who his disciples are by how they love one another. While this is a well-known verse, very few Christians actually live out it.

If you don’t believe that, ask yourself: Does the world find the church and their love for each other inviting or repelling?

It is interesting to read through the gospels how many conversations Jesus had with people about loving their neighbor and who their neighbor was. Throughout history, Christians have tried to figure out how to avoid loving their neighbor or the person at their church who is challenging to love. And yet Jesus sits with his disciples, including Judas, and tells them to love one another.

This verse is even more powerful because it follows Jesus washing all of the disciples’ feet. He serves them in a way that in that culture would’ve been seen as very humiliating and then tells them this is what love looks like. So, the question we have to ask is, am I serving the people around me in a way like Jesus did in John 13?

What if Jesus was serious when he told us to love one another and that by this everyone would know that we are his disciples.

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It’s okay if you don’t know what God is doing.  Many followers of Jesus believe they should always know what God is up to or calling them to do. We tend to beat ourselves up if we don’t understand something in the Bible or struggle to believe something about God or have questions or doubts about God. However, one of the interesting things throughout the upper room discourse is how confused the disciples were by what Jesus kept saying. They asked him question after question and even had side conversations with each other about what Jesus was talking about and how they had no idea what he was talking about.

Do you see this most clearly in John 16 when they look at each other and ask what he is saying? I wonder what that interaction was like. Did they say it quietly so that Jesus didn’t hear them? But Jesus does hear them and asks them questions about it. However, I think the tone in which we read Jesus’s voice is critical. Often, we can read Jesus’s tone and ask the disciples questions in a very angry or disappointed tone. But I think the tone that Jesus has when he asks them do you not understand? It is one of love and compassion.

Five things I learned from preaching through the upper room discourse.

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Jesus knew unity mattered and would be difficult. In John 17, we see the longest recorded prayer in scripture. It is what is known as Jesus’s high priestly prayer, and in it, Jesus prays for three things: our security in the Father, our sanctification in the Spirit, and our unity. 

In John 17, Jesus prays for three things: our security in the Father, our sanctification in the Spirit, and our unity.

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But I found it most interesting that of all the things that Jesus could have prayed for his disciples, he prayed that they would have unity. This tells us that unity is incredibly important to Jesus, but he also knew that it would be challenging for us to live out, which is why he prayed for it.

But then he says why we should have unity because it will tell the world that the Father sent Jesus and that the Father loves them. So unity is not just some pie-in-the-sky idea that Jesus had but essential to the mission of God being fulfilled here on earth.

We barely scratch the surface of the Holy Spirit’s power. One of the most difficult things for people to wrap their minds around was for the disciples when Jesus told them it would be better for him to leave so that the spirit could come to live in each of his disciples.

Along with us, he tells his disciples that they will do greater things than he has because of the power of the Spirit living in them.

There’s a lot of debate about what this means and what Jesus intended for the disciples to know. The one thing that seems clear is that most Christians barely scratch the surface of the power of the Holy Spirit and what that means as we live our daily lives with the Holy Spirit living in us.

Eternity is real, and it is our home. John 14 is often a passage used when you preach at a funeral, but it is more than that. When Jesus’s disciples begin to understand that Jesus is leaving and have questions about it, the comfort that Jesus gives them is telling them that he is going to the Father, and when he goes to the Father, he will prepare a place for them. So, he tells them about eternity in difficulty, hardship, anxiety, and fear. This tells us that eternity is real and that if we look towards eternity, we will begin to see how that answers our worries and anxieties.

5 things Jesus told his disciples right before he was arrested and crucified.

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7 Things a Pastor Must Do on Easter

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Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Sunday is the “super bowl” of the church year. I wish we didn’t call it that, but that’s another post.

We love Easter. It is the hope of our salvation and our world. In most churches, attendance will be higher than at any other time of the year. More unchurched people will be there more than any other week.

Here are 7 things a pastor MUST do on Easter:

7 things to remember this Easter weekend.

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Fill yourself up (before and after). You will likely be tired by the time you get to Easter morning. You will be tired on the Monday after Easter. The week of Easter is filled with special services and attention to different things. Make sure you take time leading up to Easter to eat well, get some sleep, keep your exercise going, and fill your heart up. Don’t preach on an empty tank.

After Easter, make sure you fill yourself up as well. Get up and exercise on Monday morning, read your bible, and listen to worship music. Be with Jesus.

Pastor, make sure you have a plan to rest and recharge after Easter.

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Be a pastor. Every week, I have no idea what people are carrying when they walk through the doors of our church or tune in online. Many people drag themselves to church on Easter, barely hanging on in some areas of their life. Be a pastor. Pray with people, smile at them, listen to them, walk around, and talk to people. Don’t hang out in the green room or backstage. Be a pastor.

Talk about the resurrection. You will be tempted to be cute and talk about something else for fear everyone knows about the resurrection.

Don’t.

The resurrection is our only hope. Without it, Jesus is still in the grave, and our faith is in vain (1 Corinthians 15:14). Without the hope of the resurrection, sin, and death can defeat us. The world will not be made right without the resurrection. Marriages cannot be saved, addictions cannot be defeated, and identities cannot be changed.

Challenge them. Don’t be afraid. Step up to the plate and tell them, “Today is the day.” For some, they need to be challenged to come back. For others, they need to be challenged to follow Jesus.

Remind them. While some will need to be challenged, some will need to be reminded that God loves and cares for them, that God has not forgotten them, that God has not left them, or that God is not disappointed in them.

Invite them back. I’m amazed at how many church services I’ve been to, and no one invited me back next week. Tell them, “I look forward to seeing you back next week.” Be friendly, walk around, and say hi to people. Lead the way in how your church should be welcoming.

Put as much effort into next week as you did this week. Easter was great, and you will be tired, but people will return to your church the following Sunday. Put as much effort into that. Hopefully, you started a new series on Easter that they want to hear part 2 of. Be ready.

7 things pastors need to do this Easter.

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7 Ideas to Help Your Kids Grow Spiritually

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How do you help your kids grow spiritually?

As our kids have gotten older, this is a question Katie and I get on a regular basis. It is one we’ve gotten right in certain seasons, and in others we’ve wandered around lost. Sometimes things that we do work really well, and other times they fall apart.

Here are seven ideas for you as a parent to help your kids grow spiritually:

7 Ideas to Help Your Kids Grow Spiritually.

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1. Model your spiritual life to them. The reality of anything related to parenting is that you pass on what you do. If you want to pass anything on to your kids spiritually, you must model it for them. They will watch you for 18+ years. They will see you read your Bible (or not), how often you pray and what your prayers contain (so much is taught in this), how often you attend church and how important spiritual things are to you.

2. Involve them in a church. Just like the first one, they will often do what you do. So do what you’d like to see them do.

What if they don’t like church? Many parents will talk about how their kids don’t like to attend church, attend a worship service or something else. Many times I’ll hear parents say, “I don’t want to force spiritual things onto my kids.” This is often from a place of fear as a parent because you don’t know what to do, but also the fear that your kids will reject it and want nothing to do with Christianity. The problem with this is that we don’t apply this to anything else. We force our kids to do math, learn a language, eat broccoli, turn off their electronics and take a nap, often when they hate every moment of it.

If you don’t involve them in a church, when do you think they will learn that? If they don’t understand an aspect of a worship service, explain it to them. If you don’t know what to tell them, do some research together.

I think it’s important as often as possible for kids and students to be involved in small groups, serving in a church and attending the worship service in a church. Is every kid different? Yes. Should you force your kids to do something they dislike? Sometimes.

Our kids take out the trash and dislike it, but they still do it. I don’t think they’ll be scarred as adults because of that.

3. Read the Bible together. Part of why kids dislike church is they don’t understand the relevance of the Bible and the things that happen at church. It is something their parents do, apart from them. So do it with them.

I know this is difficult, and they don’t always want to sit still, but doing something is better than nothing.

For our family, we’ve tried things like the Jesus Storybook Bible when the kids were younger to using a catechism now so we have a question each week we are working through as a family. It doesn’t matter what you do as long as you do something.

4. Read books to them. One of the things you can do is read books to your kids and discuss the spiritual themes in them. Whenever we watch a movie, we always talk about how it is like the one true story we see in Scripture. What are the themes and how do those themes influence us?

5. Listen to their questions. This might be one of the most overlooked aspects of your kids’ spiritual life because it is out of your control as a parent and doesn’t come on a schedule. But your kids have questions, and when they ask them, engage them. Don’t shoo them away or scold them for asking a question. If they are skeptical or have doubts, talk with them.

This is an incredibly powerful message you are sending them as their parent. You are telling them it is okay to ask questions, to wonder about something, to be unsure.

If you don’t know the answer, tell them and then study it together.

Ask them why they are curious about that. This engages their life. Is it in a book, a show, from a friend? This is an important window into their world.

6. Interact with their friends and talk with your kids about how to pick friends. Don’t sit on the sidelines when it comes to their friends.

You have an enormous impact on their spiritual lives, but so do their friends. Be involved in that.

7. Pray for them. If you’re a follower of Jesus you know this, but it is easy to overlook the power in it.

If you aren’t praying for your kids, who do you think is?

If you aren’t praying for your kids, who do you think is?

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Pray for them. Pray with them. Ask them what you can pray for, even if they say nothing, which will often happen as they get older.

7 Ideas to Help Your Kids Grow Spiritually

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Are these sure fire ways to make sure your kids grow spiritually? No.

There isn’t a sure fire answer to almost anything in parenting, but parenting is about involvement and trying and faith. Lots of it.

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How to Share your Faith

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Inviting someone to church or sharing your faith about Jesus can be awkward. It is nerve wracking, scary and often times not what many followers of Jesus want to do.

Yet, the reality is if you are a follower of Jesus, you are to be a witness of Jesus. (Acts 1:8) That is a key and crucial piece of your new identity in Christ.

It is not optional.

Yes, some people are better at it than others, but all followers of Jesus are called to pray for people who don’t know Jesus and share their faith with them.

But how?

How do you know when you should share your faith or invite someone to your church?

There are clues to listen to when you talk to someone. Andy Stanley calls these “the not cues.” When you hear a person say something like, “Things are not going well.” Or, “I’m not prepared for…” Or, “I am not from here; we just moved to the area.”

When you hear any of these, you know it is worth the risk. Often the person who says these things is searching for something. They may not think it is Jesus, but it is.

Something crucial to not miss.

Recently, a friend told me this: If you meet someone who isn’t a Christian, you should assume that God wants to use you to help them become a follower of Jesus.

That stopped me in my tracks.

Let me say something to the Christians who are always asking for deeper preaching or a deeper Bible study or say, “I want to grow.” The best way for you to grow, to go deeper in your faith, is to share your faith. To be asked questions you don’t know the answer to and you’ll have to study. To have to stand there in a conversation and ask the Holy Spirit to tell you what to say. Those will grow you in ways that a class won’t.

So, how do you live more proactively on mission?

Here are some ideas:

  • Go to the same restaurants, coffee shops and the same classes at the gym. Frequency gives you the chance to build a relationship to share Jesus.
  • You can’t be a disciple without knowing people who don’t know Jesus.
  • Have people who don’t know Jesus into your house. People are longing for community and connection.
  • Keep your kids on the same team and in the same groups to make those connections. But what about changing teams and groups so they can get a scholarship? They won’t do that. Your job is to keep your family on mission.
  • Hand out the best candy on Halloween.
  • If you get invited to a party or BBQ by non-Christians, go. And take the best food and drink.
  • Talk to the person who cuts your hair, and if a Christian cuts your hair, switch and find a non-Christian.
  • Pray that God would move you into a neighborhood, get you a job or send you to a gym or to a school with people who need Jesus.
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How to Love Your Family

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Let’s be honest about families. They are incredible. They bring us love, joy and a ton of great memories.

They can also be difficult, painful, hurtful and wreck our lives (at least a portion of them).

We often underestimate the impact that our families have on our lives and the kind of people we become.

Who we become has a lot to do with where we came from, who we grew up with and what that house and family were like. The person we marry has an enormous impact on our lives and what they are like.

As we think about being a follower of Jesus, loving our family doesn’t often come into our thinking. We hear Jesus say we are to love our neighbor, so we look around us to figure out who to love. Yet, our family members are our neighbors, too. This is one of the biggest missed opportunities to show the love of God and impact lives.

In Colossians 3:18 – 21, the apostle Paul lays out what a family is supposed to be like, what a husband and wife do and what children are to be like. But before he gets there, he lays the foundation in verses 1 – 17 of what a family does and what is the environment of a family. While similar to the list in 1 Corinthians 13 (the famous love chapter), this is a little different.

If we are to love families (and we are), how do we do that?

Paul tells us by giving us a list (so buckle up for all you list people!):

Who are defined by compassion, kindness, humility, meekness or gentleness and patience.

These words should define every family, every marriage and every parent.

5 ways to love your family.

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Compassion: For the perfectionist who gets mad because family members mess up and don’t pull their weight. Don’t correct them; show compassion. Maybe there’s a good reason they dropped the ball.

This is looking out for the people around you. Do they have what they need?

As I shared in a recent sermon, being holy means that we are to imitate, to image God. What kind of grace and compassion does he show?

Kindness: There is no place for smugness, superiority, anger, malice or contempt in the heart of a Christian and their relationships. No place.

Kindness is caring about the feelings and desires of others.

Humility: Humility is putting the other person or other family members first. Not getting your way. Not always being right.

Humility allows us to serve others without worrying about getting noticed.

One of the biggest areas of fighting in families centers on: I think I do more than you, and you need to start pulling your weight. I think I should get thanked more than I do, noticed more than I do.

That’s not humility and has no place.

Yes, discuss who will do what in a family, but you should not be fighting over who does what chore and who does more in a family. That’s sin. That’s pride. That’s arrogance.

Gentleness: Meekness or gentleness makes allowances for others. This is grace giving in relationships. This is knowing you will be let down and sinned against and yet giving grace.

That doesn’t mean you don’t have consequences or confront something, but give grace.

In your speech, are you gentle? Do your spouse or kids fear when you open your mouth? Do they fear your presence?

These are words, silences, sighs, eye rolls, your presence.

Here’s a great question to ask on a regular basis: What is it like to be on the other side of me?

What is it like to be on the other side of me?

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Let me give you this challenge. Ask someone close to you today that question.

We underestimate the power of our presence in people’s lives.

Patience: Toe tapping, standing at the front door asking if they’re ready yet. Wanting people to hurry up and get their act together, pick a major, stick with a job, stop being so flighty.

That’s not patience.

Patience says, “I’ll wait. I have time to talk even though all I want you to do right now is go to sleep.”

When our relationships are defined by compassion, kindness, humility, meekness or gentleness and patience, things change. People change. Our hearts soften to those around us, and their hearts have the chance to soften towards ours.

Think about one relationship you have, a close one. Which of these could you apply today that would bring change to that relationship? Not drastic change, although that would be nice. But change. A small step towards each other.

5 ways to fix a broken relationship.

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What to do When Someone Close to You is Hurting

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Let’s face it, when someone hurts us, we can brush it off and often move on. We can be tough, ignore it, deal with it or get even (although that rarely helps), but something changes when it is our spouse, kids, a close friend or a family member who is hurt.

We feel powerless in that moment.

Especially if our spouse is hurt because of someone else’s sin or mistreatment. When our spouse is wrongly accused or betrayed by someone, those wounds cut deep. They often cut deep into our heart because of our inability to protect our spouse and to help them.

We can’t jump into a conversation, we can’t go to our spouse’s work place and defend their honor, it is difficult for us to jump into a relationship we aren’t a part of and defend them or shout about how they’ve been mistreated.

This is especially true in ministry.

I took one counseling class in seminary. I don’t remember anything from it but one thing. The professor said, “When people are hurt in their life or have been hurt by an authority figure (a boss, spouse, parent, coach, teacher) and they can’t do anything about it, they will take it out on the closest authority figure to them. Often that person will be a pastor, a boss or a coach. If they can’t find an authority figure, they will simply take it out on the person closest to them that they are jealous of.”

At first I brushed it off. I was 24 and hadn’t really experienced much of leadership or counseling at that point.

Now that is one of the truest and most applicable statements I have heard in my entire life. I have watched that play out so many times in our church and in relationships.

For example, when I meet with someone who is leaving our church, almost 50% of the conversation has to do with their spouse, a past hurt our church had nothing to do with (usually a father wound) or something else in their life out of their control that has nothing to do with me or our church. But they are mad and it gets directed at me and our church.

Back to your spouse or kids that are hurting and you feel powerless. What do you do?

  • Pray for them.
  • Listen to them.
  • Give godly advice, not advice that makes you feel justified for them. That is a crucial piece.
  • Ask good questions when it is appropriate. This comes after listening to them.
  • Help them see through the fog of their hurt to what God is doing and how He is trying to use this. I’m often amazed at how God brings about new possibilities through what seems like an impossible situation.
5 ways to help your spouse when they are hurting.

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Monday Morning Mind Dump…

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  • What a day yesterday.
  • I know every pastor says that the day after Easter.
  • For me, one of the things I loved about yesterday were the people I prayed with who are struggling to come to Christ. They are wrestling and pressing in, getting questions answered.
  • I love when people cross the line of faith and get baptized, but I was reminded yesterday of how God is at work in every part of that journey.
  • I know that intellectually, but it was a sweet reminder yesterday that our church is a place for that and we are a part of that.
  • Because our church exists to help people take their next step with God, I love that people were taking steps yesterday.
  • Those people wrestling, coming to faith, to me, those are enormous celebrations of the day.
  • The people who pulled me aside and said, “Something happened today and I don’t know what it is.”
  • Rest in that pastor.
  • It was awesome to hear from some of the church planters we are supporting to hear how their days went.
  • We kicked off a series yesterday that I couldn’t be more excited about.
  • For 5 weeks, we are laying the foundation of what our church believes a healthy, mature follower of Jesus is.
  • What we mean when we say discipleship.
  • We started yesterday with a disciple is loved by God.
  • What excites me about this is not only the clarity for our church and RC leaders, but also for people in our church who are searching and skeptical.
  • Too many churches define discipleship as everything that comes after the gospel or say, “the gospel encompasses everything.”
  • It does, but when we start discipleship with what we do, it does a disservice to our people and gives them a burden they can’t carry.
  • If you’re curious about some of the books that have influenced our thinking, check these out.
  • Katie was away for the weekend, leaving me with the Reich 5.
  • She went to Galveston to do a photo shoot.
  • I love that she is getting to use her gifts and talents in that way.
  • It was a long weekend with the kids though.
  • We were all wiped and then to throw Easter activities onto it.
  • We’re all moving slowly today.
  • I’m speaking at a MOPS group tomorrow on the topics of my book Breathing Room. 
  • Should be a fun time.
  • For me, I love the questions after the fact and the conversations I get to have with people as they wrestle through their schedules and how to say no to things.
  • Katie and I got a big green egg for our 15th anniversary.
  • Yes, super romantic.
  • Yes, my wife is awesome.
  • Yes, it makes everything more delicious than my old grill.
  • Made this yesterday.
  • Incredible.
  • Well, back at it…
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Links for Leaders 4/7/17

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It’s the weekend. The perfect time to grab a cup of coffee and catch up on some reading. Here are 4 articles I came across this week that I found helpful as a leader and parent and hope you do as well.

John Maxwell has noted, “There is a difference between problem solving and problem spotting.” While we need people around us to point out problems, we benefit for them being on the solution side of the problem and not merely ones who make it their mission to uncover problems for other people to solve. How though? Eric Geiger shares 3 problems leaders face and how to handle them.

Easter is coming. Most churches have planned well and are ready for the surge of guests that will come, but many churches are not. Brandon Kelley has 3 vital pieces for planning your Easter services well.

Many leaders are tired, worn out, their head is spinning with all the ideas they have and the things they need to do. They pour themselves out in sermons, classes, counseling sessions and meetings. They are constantly producing and trying to keep up with what is next. The solution? According to Charles Stone (and I’d agree) it is silence and solitude.

Pastors face enormous pressures. Some of them are from their family of origin, from their churches, their spouse, their own heads and some are even imagined pressures. The reality is, if you don’t learn to deal with those pressures, they will destroy you and your ministry. This is a powerful reminder from Brian Dodd and has one of the most powerful quotes I’ve ever read: “Fatigue is from claiming promises that weren’t yours to claim.”

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Links for Leaders 3/31/17

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It’s the weekend. The perfect time to grab a cup of coffee and catch up on some reading. Here are 4 articles I came across this week that I found helpful as a leader and parent and hope you do as well.

Speaking is hard work, whether you do it every week in a church, for students in a classroom or once a month if your office. If you do speak, here are 3 ways to cope with the stress of speaking from Dr. Nick Morgan.

Easter is coming and for every pastor and church, that means higher attendance and more guests. Many pastors start planning for Easter too late in the year. If that’s you (or even if you’ve planned ahead), Steve Fogg has 3 communication mistakes to avoid as a church this Easter.

We are about to enter the teen years of parenting and like most parents entering this stage, we are doing so with a healthy dose of excitement and fear. One of the things Katie and I have talked a lot about is what to do when our kids are somewhere else, how to stay in touch, how to help them navigate peer pressure and situations that make them uncomfortable. In short, how to create an escape plan for your teen.

Every leader wants to be productive, to accomplish things, cross things off of their to-do list, but as a leader, there seems to be a never ending stream of things that need your attention, fires that need to be put out and always one more thing to do. For many, we end up wasting a lot of time. Doing what? Chuck Lawless gives us 10 times wasters for most leaders.