Facing Your Fears

Fear can be paralyzing. It can keep us from moving forward in life. It can keep us from finding freedom from past hurts, past sins. It can keep us from reaching all the things God dreams for us to accomplish, and ultimately it can keep us from living. Why? Because fears will often make us run and hide.

One author said, “Fear is the silent destroyer of dreams.”

Where this really comes out is if you are pessimistic in your life. Maybe you are always making situations out to be worse than they are, expecting something to not work like it should.

This is one reason I have always identified with the book of Joshua.

The name Joshua means, “God is my salvation.” So, in the name of the book, and my name, is this reminder of where salvation comes from. What is interesting is that God seems to say, “Joshua, fear not.” “Joshua, don’t be afraid.” Always followed by, “For I am with you, I am your God.” It seems to be on every other line of the book. Sometimes it feels like that line is on every other page of my life.

Throughout the book we see over and over how God is with Joshua, keeps His promises and ultimately is his God and his salvation. In chapter 12 it lists the names of the Kings Joshua defeated in battle.

31 kings defeated in battle.

I wonder if we often miss what God has done in our lives. The power He has shown when we don’t know where He is in a situation. I often think God brings us through hard times so they can stack up as a reminder, something to look back on to say, “Remember how God brought us through that before? I believe He can do it again because we didn’t know if He could before. We didn’t know where He was before.”

Then in Joshua 13 it lists what lies ahead for Joshua.

Once we are able to exhibit faith, show our belief in God and not be paralyzed by fear, we are able to move forward and get to work. As long as Joshua is paralyzed, he won’t move forward.

Here are some questions to consider:

  1.   What are you afraid of?
  2.   What do those fears reveal about you?
  3.   What do those fears reveal about what you believe to be true about God?
  4.   As you look at the answer to #3, does that line up with what the Bible tells us about God?

If we aren’t careful, we will allow fear to become the lens through which we look at life. I know I can very easily do it. I can start to make decisions out of fear, live my life and relate to others out of fear.

If you tell a Christian about fear, they will often point you to Joshua 1.

Why?

Because God tells Joshua to be strong, to be courageous, to not be afraid.

But why? How is Joshua supposed to do that?

Joshua is supposed to be strong and courageous because God says, I will never leave you or forsake you.

Stop right here.

Many of our fears can be traced back to this verse and our inability to believe it.

What is interesting to me is how Joshua is supposed to know that God will never leave him.

God tells him to look at what He has done in the past. We can see this not only in our lives as we look back to see God at work, how He has answered prayers, rescued us, done things we were unaware of, but also in the lives of others. God tells Joshua to look at the life of Moses, but He also tells him to meditate on His word.

Day and night.

This is more than a simple reading of a verse or devotional thought. This is taking a verse or phrase and thinking on it throughout the day, stewing on it as you turn it over and over in your heart and mind. Asking God to show you how to be strong and courageous (or whatever you are facing).

The antidote to fear is faith, faith through meditating on God’s word. Day and night.

Praying to a God who Knows You (Psalm 139)

It’s hard to be known. It’s hard to let people in. If we’re honest, when it comes to life and relationships, it’s easier to hide. It’s safer to hide.

Many of us in relationships hide. We are afraid. We keep things to ourselves. Some of this is out of fear. We are afraid of what people would think if they knew everything about us.

We don’t want to disappoint people. We want to be liked, to be known, to be seen as having certain abilities.

Some of us jump into relationships and become dependent on the other person. We need to be needed, we need them to validate us.

Sometimes as we hide, we manipulate people to get what we want, to get them to think certain things about us.

Sometimes to be known, we’ll isolate ourselves so that someone will chase us. This tells us we are worth it. We’ll become detached in relationships so someone will say, “I need you.”

Sometimes to protect ourselves from being known and to feel safe, we’ll jump from relationship to relationship. We’ll change gyms, small groups, where we get coffee, we’ll change social groups, all in an effort to hide. I have a friend who the moment they get too close to people, they pull back.

Where does this come from?

From our earliest moments as a baby, we have a desire to be loved, to be known.

We also have a deep desire to be safe.

These desires travel with us into being adults. To the point (and often rightfully so) that we will do whatever it takes to be safe in relationships.

Ironically, for many of us the destructive patterns of isolation, hiding, manipulation and living out of fear or co-dependency are how we’ve learned to be safe.

We then take this to God and think, “This is what worked with my mom, my dad, my teacher, my boss, my spouse, and this must be how I relate to God.”

What if bearing ourselves to God is the only way to be safe? What if sharing our deepest hurt is the only way to move forward in our relationship with God and ourselves?

As one of my mentors says, “Whatever we don’t own, owns us.”

So how do you own your past? How do you own what has been done to you? How do you own your anger? Bitterness? Loneliness? How do you move forward in a way that brings about freedom instead of keeping you stuck?

The answer is prayer.

Philip Yancey said, “An important purpose of prayer is to let our true selves be loved by God.”

Prayer is a window into God’s love and God’s heart for us. It is a chance to give our heart and hurt to Him. It is a place to remove our fears, doubts and hurt.

Psalm 139 tells us that not only does God know us, but God is everywhere and is not scared of what He knows about us. God will not leave us.

What a promise.

What a reminder that freedom comes from no longer hiding.

How does this work in prayer?

Bring to God your hurts. Say out loud or in your head, “God, this is my fear. This is my pain. These are my doubts.” Name them. Naming things often takes away their power.

Invite, like the psalmist in Psalm 139 does, for God to know you. In fact, using Psalm 139 and simply praying that to God might be a great next step for you as you name things and invite God into this place (even though He’s already there).

I often find that thanking God for knowing me and not leaving me is a powerful prayer moment. It is an amazing reminder.

Why You Aren’t Ready for What’s Next

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When I was 25 I was a young, punk of a leader. I had a Master’s degree and had been a part of large, successful ministries. I was always the smartest person in the room (in my mind and I made sure others knew it). I also had had a relatively easy life up until this point.

I was sitting in an interview with a large church for a student pastor position. The interview was going well and I thought I would for sure get the job. The executive pastor was getting ready to wrap up the interview when he asked if anyone had any final questions. The lead pastor had been in the interview the entire time but hadn’t said a word. He looked at me and said, “I have one question.” I was ready to talk vision or strategy, but his question caught me off guard. He looked at me and said, “Tell me your deepest hurt.”

I was silent.

He then said, “Tell me about your deepest wound.”

I stumbled for an answer.

While I had been hurt, I had never really been abused or beaten. I wasn’t abandoned or from a broken home. My life had been easy up until this moment. I gave him a rather lame answer that I can’t even remember.

After my answer he said, “Thanks Josh, but we won’t be hiring you. I’m afraid of a leader who can’t name his deepest hurt because I don’t know if he’s past it, but I also don’t know what he’ll do when he meets it.”

Little did I know, the next 3 years after this moment, I would encounter hurts and pain I had never dreamed of.

Fast forward 10 years and I’m on the other side of the table of interviewing people. One of the questions I ask each person is, “Tell me about your deepest pain. What do you do when life hurts? When God seems silent? What you can’t connect with your spouse? When your ministry feels like a failure?”

Like that lead pastor, I’m scared of leaders who stumble through this answer.

Why?

Because they will face a desert, they will face failure, they will come up against their deepest pain at some point and I don’t know how they’ll respond.

This right here is why many people fail to move forward in life, fail to capitalize on their gifts or see the doors open to them that they wish to have open. 

We like authentic people and leaders, people who have been wounded as we have but have found a way to move forward from it. Who aren’t scarred by it, they are marked by their past, but they aren’t destroyed by it.

There is something about a leader who has faced what we have faced and come out the other side. We want to be around them, we want to be like them, we want to follow them to where they are going.

10 Lessons for the Church from Pixar

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I recently read the new book Creativity, Inc.: Overcoming the Unseen Forces That Stand in the Way of True Inspiration by Ed Catmull on the story of Pixar and the culture of that company. The lessons churches and pastors can learn from them are numerous. There were so many, I’m actually going to share the lessons in multiple blog posts. Here are the first 10:

  1. If we made something that we wanted to see, others would want to see it too. This was the standard in how they decided on when they made Toy Story and has stuck with Pixar as they have made other movies. This is crucial for churches. Pastors need to lead churches they would want to attend and we need to create churches we want to go to. Otherwise, no one will bring anyone. Also, when a guest comes, they will feel our lack of excitement and enthusiasm. It is like going on a trip with someone who doesn’t want to be there.  
  2. Leaders of companies that go off the rails focus on the competition, not looking at themselves. Churches are notorious for this. We complain about culture, how no one cares about church anymore, the culture is shut off and hardened toward the gospel, there is more competing against church attendance today, on and on we go. We try to out market the church down the road. When we put up road signs for our church in front of where we meet, the megachurch 1/4 mile down the road put signs up near ours. Churches tend to fight and target the Christians. Instead of being the best, most healthy church God has called them to be, we settle for something less because of a focus on the wrong things.
  3. Protect the culture of Pixar. One of the most important roles of a leader of a church or ministry is keeping it focused on the main thing. The lead pastor is the primary vision caster and primary vision protector. It cannot be delegated, it cannot be relegated to the back burner. If it is not protected, anything can happen, anything can be important, anything can be the win.
  4. Pixar starts from the presumption that our people are talented and want to contribute. Too many pastors think they are more committed than their people or other leaders. A church planter can easily get distracted and fearful of another talented leader and keep them from leading. A lot changes when a pastor believes everyone is bought in and wants to contribute.
  5. Turn down opportunities that are a diversion from your goal. 
  6. Devote your life to a goal. For Ed Catmull, his life goal was to create an animated movie strictly with computer technology. Too many leaders and churches do not have a goal they are devoted to. They give credence to the great commission, but their budget and actions do not back up their supposed passion for this. For me and Revolution, we dream of planting churches so that everyone in Tucson lives within 10 miles of a church we’ve planted. I pray I see that before I die.
  7. Have total confidence in the people you hire and let them do what you hired them to do. Many pastors are micromanagers, church planters can be even worse. I understand the tension: you started the church, put your livelihood on the line, you have the most skin in the game. Consequently, you don’t trust others, you have a hard time believing someone can do something as well as you can, let alone better than you. This thinking though is shortsighted and keeps a church from growing and keeps people from using their gifts to their full potential.
  8. Fear is groundless. Christians are fearful people. We are afraid of culture, afraid of what politicians are doing, the left-wing lobby, Satan, the economy, you name it. Yet, we serve a God who conquered sin and death. Pastors are fearful of elder boards, powerful lay leaders and influential church members. We don’t say what we should, we don’t preach what we should, we don’t take the risks that we should, all because we fear failure or make a god out of someone else. Fear is groundless, it has not power over you because of the God you serve.
  9. Hire people smarter than you. This is closely related to #7 and if you don’t believe #7, you won’t hire smart people. I am blown away at the caliber of leaders that God has assembled at Revolution. All of them are smarter than me at something. I’m good at a few things, but need others who are great at many things for us to reach the goals God has given to us.
  10. Any hard problem should have many good minds simultaneously trying to solve it. In many Christian circles, the leaders attend conferences, read books, visit churches, follow blogs of people they agree with. This is shortsighted. You should read people who don’t think like you. Read business books, if you preach, read books by vocal coaches. In theology, you should be pushing yourself in your reading. Look outside of your camp for good ideas. Be willing to learn from anybody on how to do church the best way you can.

I’ll share more lessons as I continue working my way through the book. Highly recommend it so far.

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God is Always With Us

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I read this the other day:

So Abram went up from Egypt, he and his wife and all that he had, and Lot with him, into the Negeb. Now Abram was very rich in livestock, in silver, and in gold. And he journeyed on from the Negeb as far as Bethel to the place where his tent had been at the beginning, between Bethel and Ai, to the place where he had made an altar at the first. And there Abram called upon the name of the Lord. -Genesis 13:1 – 4

Abram returned to where he built his first altar.

What I often forget about Abram is that when he started walking and following God in Genesis 12, this was brand new to him. All of a sudden (it seems anyway) a voice told him to pack up and move. That’s it. And he did.

Following this God, took him to Egypt. Where Abram failed and lied.

Why?

Because he didn’t trust God.

So he leaves Egypt and returns to where he started. To where he first heard God. To where he first built an altar.

Often, after our failures and disappointments, God brings us back to where we started. He has a way when our faith is faltering to remind us of a place where our faith was strong. When struggle to trust him, he has a way of taking us to the place where we trusted him. When we find ourselves not on fire, but fizzling out, he has a way of bringing us to the place where we were on fire.

If you are in a place today, where it is hard to trust God, hard to follow God, hard to pray or listen or move forward. Return to where it began. Return to where you trusted, where you listened, prayed and followed.

Go back to where it all began.