What to do on “Fat Days”

fat days

Most you know my journey of losing weight. I once weighed close to 300 pounds. Over an 18 month time span I was able to lose 130 pounds and I have kept it off for the last 3 years. I’ve talked more about that here.

Even after losing all that weight I still have “fat days.”

Everyone does, right? I assume so.

What do you do in those moments? Regardless of your weight and size you have moments and days that you feel fat. You may not actually be fat, but you feel it.

Feelings of guilt, shame hit you. You think back to what you ate over the last day or two and maybe beat yourself up for that extra serving at dinner, that late night snack or dessert, ordering the venti 3,000 calorie drink at Starbucks instead of the tall skinny water. And on and on it goes.

You maybe even vent to a friend in hopes that they’ll tell you that you don’t look fat but that doesn’t help because you feel fat. And let’s be honest, what we feel is what drives us.

Yet, as a mentor told me, what we know trumps what we feel. 

Here are some ways to handle “fat days”:

  1. Uncover why you feel the way you do. It is okay to think over the last few days, but go further back than that. Not to document what you’ve eaten but what has happened in your life to make you feel the way you do. For many people, food is an addiction like drugs, porn or smoking. Have you experienced abuse in your life that drives you to eat? Are you prone to worry when things get out of control and that drives you to eating? Is there something underneath the comfort that comes from eating? Until you understand why you eat what you do, it is unlikely you will find freedom from eating as a god you go to for comfort.
  2. What does Jesus actually say about you. The next thing is understanding what Jesus says about you. If you are made in the image of God as the Bible teaches, your body is not an accident. Sure it is frustrating that some people can eat at taco bell 4 times a day and lose weight and you gain a pound simply by walking by a McDonald’s, but God made you that way. I get it because I’m that way. If I don’t watch what I eat I gain weight fast, that is my DNA. If you need some ideas on eating, here are some things I eat.
  3. Do you need to make changes to your diet. Practically speaking, you might need to make changes to your diet. While eating is a spiritual thing and can be an addiction and a sin, it is also a practical thing. Keep a food diary, write down everything you eat. You will often be surprised at what you put into your body and how that adds up. We often eat mindlessly and very quickly, which leads to weight gain. Most Christians can quote 1 Corinthians 6:19 about our bodies being the temple of God as a way to say drinking and smoking is bad and then go to the next potluck and gorge themselves on dessert.
  4. What image do you have in your head that you aren’t living up to, how accurate is that image? When you think about your perfect body or the body that makes you feel “fat”, how healthy is that image? Is that the way God made you? Again, if you and I are created in the image of God (Genesis 1:27), then we need to see ourselves as made the way God intended. This becomes a trust issue with God. We also need to identify the sin of coveting that comes as we page through magazines or put workouts together in an effort to be skinnier or more muscular.
  5. Stop weighing yourself. On the days you feel fat, you weigh yourself constantly. Every 5 minutes to see if something changed. Did I lose weight in the last hour because of all the water I drank and all the food I didn’t eat? The amount of times we weigh ourselves show where our god is and what we find our identity in. Weight gain, weight loss and exercising can be a tricky thing and not always accurate to what is happening in your body. Recently, I’ve gotten into crossfit and have gained some weight. At first, I was frustrated by this. Then I started to wonder, my jeans still fit. I measured myself and found that my waist was still the same size it was just my chest and shoulders that have grown. Translation, that isn’t fat that led to weight gain. It is important to understand where weight gain comes from.
  6. Go easy on yourself. You can very easily beat yourself up, starve yourself or heap guilt and shame onto yourself. If you are a follower of Jesus, there is no guilt and shame to be had. That was nailed to the cross with Jesus and when he walked out of the tomb, he conquered the power of sin, guilt and shame. Now, followers of Jesus do feel conviction and sometimes this comes in the area of food, how we think about our bodies and how we look at ourselves. This is the Holy Spirit helping us become who we are created to become. If it isn’t from the Holy Spirit, go easy on yourself.

“Fat days” come no matter what size you are. But the gospel transforms those days.

What I Eat

lose weight

Because of the weight I’ve lost and then I shared last week in my burnout series that certain foods help or hurt you when it comes to fatigue, I often get questions about what I eat.

A few disclaimers before I share what I eat. One, I am not a certified anything when it comes to nutrition or exercise. I’m simply a guy who lost a bunch of weight, kept it off and strive to continue to live healthy. So my knowledge is simply from what I’ve read or talked with actual experts. Two, whatever diet or eating plan you choose, you need to stick with it and do what they tell you to do. I meet a lot of people who do Paleo, weight watchers, nutrisystem. Whatever you choose, do it, eat it, don’t veer from it. You won’t see the results it promises if you don’t stick to it. Third, not every plan works for every person. I believe there is something to the reality that each of our body’s respond differently to different foods. While most nutritional laws are universal, some might not be. I haven’t read much about “Eating for your blood type” but have friends who swear by it and there could be something to that.

One of the things that guided me when it comes to what I eat is that I want to have an eating plan I can do for the rest of my life. I also like food and want to eat good food. I have a friend who juices his breakfast and lunch and eats a salad for dinner, everyday. If pushed on it, I think I’d rather be 300 pounds again than eat that everyday. I want to grill out with friends, go eat at someone’s house, eat out with Katie or have a meeting with someone. I want to enjoy Starbucks (kind of a vice) and some dessert and not feel bad about it.

Here are the principles I’ve used:

  • Eat a lot of protein, fruits and vegetables. Lots.
  • Drink at least 100 ounces of water a day.
  • No soda.
  • Very little bread, carbs or grains.
  • Dessert once or twice a week. Max.
  • Two cups of coffee a day. That’s it.
  • When eating out, always know what you are going to order before arriving at a restaurant. It saves you faltering when you get there and see the really good 3,000 calorie plates on the menu.
  • No more than 2 alcoholic drinks a day. This is a good rule of them anyway.
  • Eat every 3 hours, snacks count.
  • Make a plan. If you know what you are going to eat each day for the next 7 days, you have a better chance of eating healthy. Last minute meals often are very bad for you.
  • Cheat once a week. Sunday is my cheat day. I don’t worry about what I eat, I eat what I want and I don’t feel guilty about it.
  • If you are counting calories (and I did when I started losing weight), pick your ideal weight and add a zero to that number. Whatever that number is is the number of calories you should eat in a day. If your goal weight is 180, eat 1800 calories.
What I eat:
  • Breakfast is always 4 – 5 eggs. Getting that much protein first thing in the morning is crucial to the rest of the day.
  • Snacks: 3 pieces of string cheese, banana and peanut butter, protein shake (we make these at home), Greek yogurt (Katie makes this and then take it with us), protein bar (I prefer the clif builder bars).
  • Lunch: Salad with spinach leafs, lots of veggies, 6 oz. of chicken and olive oil for dressing. No croutons.
  • Dinner: Meat with lots of veggies. Very little carbs. I read somewhere that you shouldn’t eat carbs for dinner, period. Don’t always stick to that but at least try. We get a lot of our meal ideas at this blog.
What about eating out? Here are a few ideas of some places I frequent and what I get:
  • In n Out: Cheeseburger protein style no sauce, eat half the fries.
  • Chipotle: Chicken burrito bowl, light on the sour cream.
  • Subway: Spinach & Chicken salad.
  • Starbucks: Nonfat Caramel Macchiato.
While not perfect, this is what I do and how I eat to stay in shape, while leading a growing church and a growing family.

My Journey of Losing Weight

Over the last week, I blogged about my journey of losing weight and keeping it off. It has been awesome getting messages from people about how this series has challenged and encouraged them. I hope it spurs you to being healthy.

You can read the posts here:

  1. How I got to where I am 
  2. The idol of food (the spiritual side of weight loss)
  3. Have a plan
  4. It’s for the rest of your life
  5. The effects
  6. Do your homework
  7. The idol of exercise & staying in shape

Losing Weight Part 7: The Idol of Being in Shape

I’ve been chronicling my journey of losing weight this week. It is by far the thing I get questions about the most. You can read part 1part 2part 3part 4part 5 and part 6 here to get some background on this post. I talked in part 2 about the idol of food, one thing I want to end on is the idol of being in shape.

In the same way that it is easy for us to make an idol out of food. It is just as easy to make an idol out of exercise, being in shape, looking fit. This hits a different idol. While food can often be for comfort, the idol of being in shape often hits approval.

When I got assessed for Acts 29, they asked about my weight loss. The reason is because most church planters put on a ton of weight. The stress of church planting, the meetings at restaurants and coffee shops, the long hours, sleepless nights lead a lot of guys to put weight on. I was the opposite. I think that is one of the reasons we were able to make it through the hard start up months of Revolution.

As I described my journey, which you’ve read this week and talked about the idol of food one of the guys asked me at the end of the story, “Has exercise become your idol?” I think at first, as I was losing weight it did. If I missed a workout I would get angry, like I used to if I was hungry. It is natural for this to happen. When you lose 100 pounds, 12 inches off your waist, you want to keep it off. This makes sense. But it doesn’t make it right to make it an idol. It is easy to trade one idol (food) for another idol (being in shape or working out).

Now, I am not as tough on calories or working out as I used to. Our church has grown significantly, so has our family. It is harder and harder to make time to workout, so I’ve created a plan that fits my life. In fact, I went 10 days without working out to see if my food plan would allow me to not gain weight, and it did. If you have lost a bunch of weight and are working out, go a week without working out. If you just gasped, you may have an idol of working out that you need to deal with.

Don’t mishear me, there is nothing wrong with working out, being in shape, wanting to be healthy. Only when we elevate it to a high status in our lives. When we find our identity in working out or being in shape.

Losing Weight Part 5: The Effects

I’ve been chronicling my journey of losing weight this week. It is by far the thing I get questions about the most. You can read part 1part 2part 3 and part 4 here to get some background on this post.

This last post I want to talk about what losing weight and being healthy has done in my life. It brought things I hoped for and some things I didn’t expect. My goal here is to give you a vision of what the future could be like. You have to have this to continue on this journey because it is easy to quit. Losing weight is hard work. Being healthy takes time and is difficult. If it wasn’t, everyone would do it.

There are the obvious things like I feel better, my body doesn’t hurt like it used to. I have more confidence in my life, when I speak, etc.

One of the most interesting effects of losing weight was being more organized and purposeful in life. I realized that I was very sloppy in my life. When I used to eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, not exercising, having bad sleeping habits. You don’t have to plan for that.

You have to plan to eat well, plan a menu, buy food, plan out buying fruits and vegetables. If you are going to be going out for lunch or dinner, you have to plan ahead, look at the menu and decide what you will eat. You have to plan mid-morning and mid-afternoon snack. This changes a lot. You no longer just grab McDonald’s cause you are out and didn’t think ahead, you have to. This will change other areas of your life. I found that I started being more proactive and purposeful in my job, my relationships (especially with Katie in our marriage and with our kids). I also became more purposeful in my relationship with God. Until I started eating better and exercising, I hadn’t realized how lazy and sloppy I’d become in other crucial areas of my life.

The idea of planning though is one of the reasons many people struggle with weight or keeping weight off. It is easier to not plan.

If you are going to exercise 3-4 days a week, you have to make the time to do it. Which means, you will spend less time on something else. I find that I watch a lot less TV than I used to. I get up earlier than I used to. Get to bed earlier than I used to so that I can exercise and get done what I need to for work and my family.

Tomorrow, I’ll wrap up this series. Stay tuned…

 

Losing Weight Part 4: It’s For the Rest of Your Life

I’ve been chronicling my journey of losing weight this week. It is by far the thing I get questions about the most. You can read part 1part 2 and part 3 here to get some background on this post.

The reality of your plan (exercise and eating) is that it is a lot like getting out of debt, most people miss this concept. They think about losing weight as something they do now, put the weight back on and then lose it again. The ones who see it as a lifestyle change are the ones that keep it off. When getting out of debt, it is a lot of little changes over a period of time, it starts to snowball to quote Dave Ramsey. Eventually, your start to see money differently. It is the same as dieting and exercise. You lose 2 pounds here, 3 pounds the next week, and then it snowballs.

Like someone who has worked their way out of debt, I can’t imagine going back to the way I used to live. I can’t imagine eating like I used to or feeling like I used to. When I think about the pain I used to have, the self esteem I had, the way I felt after eating a meal. I can’t imagine that.

Have a plan. Start small and slow. Know that this is a lifestyle change, not an overnight change. Nothing overnight lasts forever (just look at all the one hit wonders in music history).

If you go into losing weight and being healthy with the mindset that you are looking to do something that you can do for the rest of your life, it will affect your plan and how you do it. Many of the diet fads and workout plans are things you won’t do for the rest of your life. I have a friend who did a diet that was 25 days and claimed you’d lose a pound a day. It might be true, but you aren’t going to eat that diet for 60 years. But the people who write them don’t care. If you quit, put the weight back on, you’ll just buy more stuff when you get miserable. The up and down nature of weight loss fuels this industry.

Whatever your goal is, do you have a plan you can do forever?