How to Fight Your Sin

We all struggle with something.

We all sin or have some emotion we wish we didn’t have. We carry regrets and shame from past hurts, relationships, or other experiences we hope to eliminate. But for some reason, they hang around. 

We often wonder, am I made new? Has God forgiven me for that? Why do I still struggle (Romans 7:15)? Why do I do what I do?

Throughout Scripture (Romans 8:13; Galatians 5:24; Colossians 3:5), we are told to crucify our sin, to put it to death.

But what does that look like?

Right before Galatians 5:24, Paul has two lists: a list of sins (vs. 19 – 21) and a list called the fruit of the Spirit (vs. 22 – 23).

In vs. 19 – 21, there is sexual immorality (which is all sex outside of the bounds of marriage between a man and a woman), impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies and things like these.

What is interesting about this list is that Paul seems to put them all on the same level and says, “Living in these will keep you from God” (see the end of Vs. 21). 

What Paul says, though, is these are not occasional sins. In vs. 16 – 17, he describes these as overwhelming, all-encompassing desires that you cannot control the longing of. They are your identity. These things about us follow words like “always” and “never.” I always worry, try to control things, and care what others think. I can never stop this or that. 

Those things slowly become part of our identity, which we carry as part of ourselves. 

For each person, vs. 19 – 21 is where the battle happens. And make no mistake, we all have something. 

But how do you put them to death?

This is where the fruit of the Spirit comes in vs. 22 – 23 of Galatians 5 and the freedom promised to us in Romans 8. 

I love that Paul calls them fruit. It gives this picture of a farmer, of gradual growth; a farmer, not the fruit, does that. The fruit doesn’t make itself grow; God does. Fruit does grow. Not always at the rate we expect or think it should, but it grows.

The question for a follower of Jesus is, do you see growth in your life in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control? Do you see how God is working on your heart in those areas?

We take the fruit of the Spirit and put our sin to death from vs. 19 – 21.

This becomes a daily thing.

Crucifixion in vs. 24 carries this idea that it will be a death. It will be painful, complex, and complicated. Freedom always involves a war.

One of the best ways to walk this road is through confession. We practice confession daily, each week, at the communion table. Why? Because “when we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us of our sins and cleanse us of all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). 

One thing I’ve learned about God’s grace is that many times, the reason we don’t experience God’s grace and freedom in Jesus is that we won’t allow ourselves to. 

We too often choose to stay stuck in our sins. This is why Paul talks so much about the mind in the New Testament (Romans 8:5, 12:1 – 2; Colossians 3:12). The daily choices make up our lives, and that pertains to the choices we make to sin or not sin. Paul tells us that we have the power to conquer all that lies before us (Romans 8:11), but many of us live already defeated lives. 

What if, this week, you lived as if the Spirit that raised Christ from the dead lives in you? Because He does. 

What Your Anger Reveals about You

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Have you ever had a moment where you thought, that’s not how this is supposed to be? My life isn’t supposed to be like this. Or, that moment wasn’t supposed to go that way.

It happens to all of us. As we sit and process our emotions, one of them is usually anger.

We get angry at ourselves, the other person (boss, parent, child, spouse, co-worker, friend), and at God.

We get angry at God, ourselves, and the other person for many different reasons.

We get angry when something happens that we deem unfair. We get angry when something happens that we don’t think should happen. We also get angry when God moves slower than we’d like, moves differently than we’d like.

Ultimately we get angry at God because we aren’t God, and he doesn’t act like us.

Jonah and God have a fascinating conversation in Jonah 4 about Jonah’s anger towards God. Why is Jonah angry? Because God did what Jonah expected God to do. Jonah knew that God is gracious, merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love. (Jonah 4:3) He knew that God would relent from destroying Nineveh, which is why he is angry at God.

What is fantastic about the conversation is that God doesn’t get angry at Jonah. He doesn’t scold Jonah. He asks, “Do you do well to be angry?” In other words, are you angry for the right reasons? Is your anger adding anything to your life, faith, and the world?

I remember a conversation that Katie and I had 16 years ago. We were sitting up at 3 am talking in our bedroom. This was one of those life-defining conversations. It was raw, emotional, and hard for me to hear. My sin, stubbornness, and pride had gotten us into a tricky spot as a couple and in my career. I was running from God’s call to plant a church, and Katie called me on it. God was moving to bring me to where I needed to be. Dan Allender said, “When we hear the call to go, and we run in the opposite direction, God has a way of having us thrown off the boat, swallowed by a large fish, and spit onto the shore where we are to serve (and be). God allows us to run and yet to know that He will arrive at our place of flight before we arrive so that He can direct our steps again.”

That’s where I was.

I was angry. Why wouldn’t God make it easier? Why did God have to send people into my life that were difficult and left painful wounds in my life? Why didn’t he stop that?

I don’t have all the answers to those questions at this point in my life, but I have some of them.

Like Jonah, we have good reasons to be angry. At least we are convinced they’re good reasons. And they might be good. Jonah felt Nineveh deserved justice, not mercy. They were brutal people. How could God forgive them? Was their repentance legitimate and authentic? Was it fake to get mercy?

We’ve been there in relationships.

We’ve been there in life.

You might be there right now.

If you are, let God ask you the question he asked Jonah, “Do you do well to be angry? What is your anger adding to your life?”

Take family relationships. Many of us have broken family relationships that have caused us enormous scars. We are hurt, we are angry, we are isolated. Many of us have a right to be angry. But what is our anger adding? Is it causing good in your life to be angry?

What is your anger adding as you think about your kids, job, or finances? What good is it doing?

Most of the time, the answer is no; it is not adding anything. It is not doing any good. We allow people to take up space in our hearts who couldn’t care less about us most of the time.

Notice that Jonah is angry, but God is slow to anger.

Remember: We get angry at God because we aren’t God, and God doesn’t act like us.

Like Jonah, we get mad at God because he doesn’t do what we would do or act the way we want him to.

Like Jonah, we know God’s words are gracious, merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love, but in our hearts, we don’t trust those words, and we don’t embrace them or celebrate them.

God won’t let Jonah go, and he won’t let Jonah off the hook. He wants Jonah’s heart. He doesn’t just want him to stop being angry; he wants to get to the root of why he is mad. So God appoints a plant, a worm, and a scorching wind. We are being told that God can use all the good, the bad, and the hard for our good. God wants Jonah’s heart and will use whatever means necessary to get it.

God wants your heart and will use whatever means necessary to get it.

This is important, so I don’t want you to miss this.

What you get angry about is important. What you are angry at God for right now is important.

Because when we get angry, we know we are onto something. We know we have hit on something that matters, something we need to dig into. Whenever you are angry, you must stop and ask why and what is happening at that moment because your anger is revealing something you must face, you must deal with. It is important to you, and it is vital to the state of your heart.

That is the invitation God is giving to Jonah, and to us, as the book of Jonah ends.

What are you angry at? Is that a good thing to be angry at?

When Grace Isn’t What You Expected

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I’m reading The Wilderking Trilogy to my kids, which is based on the life of King David. There is a great line in the second book where the prophet describes King Darrow (representing King Saul), and he says about him, “He’s thrown away the grace he was given because it’s not the grace he had in mind.”

I think this happens so easily to us in real life. Grace is extended to us by God and by others, but it often doesn’t take the form we expect or turn out how we expected it.

Many times we want grace that doesn’t involve consequences, but there are consequences to our actions. Grace is given to us by God in the form of gifts and talents he’s given to us, but we often refuse them by not developing them or wishing we had different talents and gifts (i.e., Why can’t I be a better speaker or more organized like so-and-so?).

At the same time, when we extend grace, we have expectations for it, and we miss the beauty of grace. We want someone to feel more sorry than they are or we want retribution while giving the impression of grace.

While grace gives us the chance to start over and make things new, grace doesn’t take away the hurt of a situation or the memory. It is still there. It is still part of our journey and story. Yet grace gives us the chance in starting new for that situation or memory to no longer be who we are.

This is crucial and often missed.

I think this makes grace so difficult to handle and live in. Our hurt, memory, bitterness and identity become so wrapped up in what happened. We struggle to separate a hurt or sin from our identity and we miss the grace extended to us.

This is what makes grace amazing and why we sing about it and why grace is central to the message of Jesus. Grace does what we can’t do, what we hope will happen but never thought possible.

Grace gives us a new start, a new chapter. Grace is that picture of the page turning and things not being as they were, but as God intended.

How to Forgive Your Father

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As I mentioned in a recent sermon, one of the hardest things for us as we see God as father is how we feel about our earthly father. That relationship impacts so much of how we see ourselves, the world around us and God. It impacts how we feel about ourselves and how we let others treat us.

As you take steps this week to let go of any hurt done by your earthly father and forgive him, here are a couple of things to keep in mind:

One, remember your sin. It is easy to simply look at the brokenness of someone else and overlook our brokenness. As you forgive someone, you begin to come face to face with some of the things in your own heart. If you skip over these things or not deal with them, you will find yourself having a hard time understanding God’s forgiveness. Remember, God’s grace was extended to you and your sin, my sin, the sin of your father put Jesus on the cross.

Two, forgiveness does not mean you pretend something didn’t happen. Forgive and forget is a nice phrase, but I’m not sure it is realistic or biblical. We always remember something. It is part of our story, our life. We don’t simply pretend that hurt, broken promises, or even abuse happened. As you forgive and move forward, don’t pretend something didn’t happen as that will keep you from health and wholeness.

Third, forgiveness does not mean you have a relationship with someone. You can forgive someone and keep them at a distance, which you may need to do depending on the situation for your safety.

Last, God forgave you and this is the basis for letting go of anything. Why did God forgive you? He loved you and this forgiveness is what we are to extend to those who hurt us, including our father.

It may be hard to believe, but forgiving those who hurt you the most is not only something a follower of Jesus is called to, it is also the only way to living the life that God calls you to live. Many people walk around with hurt, that turns into bitterness because of something they won’t let go of. And that is not the life that God has called us to live.