How to Make Your Life Count

Meaning.

Purpose.

All of us want our lives to count, but how? Is there a secret formula to it that a few people figure out and others don’t?

The truth is, while all of us want our lives to make an impact, only a few of us actually live lives that we would say make an impact. Instead, we just see people who are at work, in the neighborhood, and at school.

The people who make their lives count don’t focus on money, influence, or power. Athough, those things may come as the person makes an impact. No, the people who make an impact focus on one thing: relationships.

Impact is felt and measured in relationships.

So, how do we live our lives? How do we schedule our lives so that relationships matter to us, and so that our lives count?

One of the things I’ve seen as I’ve preached through the book of Philippians is that while joy and hope are significant themes in the book, relationships are an enormous part of it as well. Paul talks again and again about his love for the Philippian church. But he also spends a lot of time in chapter two talking about “putting the interests of others first,” and “to not think of yourself, but to think of others.”

Then in verses 19 – 30, he tells us about Timothy and Epaphroditus and how they exhibit these qualities.

They put others first by genuinely caring, putting the things of Jesus first, and being trustworthy (men of character).

As we think about our lives and relationships, there are three important and timely things in our culture.

Do you genuinely care for people? One of the things that Pual tells us about Timothy is that he genuinely cares for others (2:20), not just cares, but genuinely.

Would the people closest to you say you genuinely care for them? Are you showing interest in who they are, their story, what they are walking through, and how they see the world the way they do?

Or, are you only interested in what people can do for you?

We show care by being there for people, listening to them, watching out for them, serving them, and protecting them as the situation calls for it.

Timothy and Epaphroditus put their lives on the line to be with Paul in prison, to be with him in a low point of his life, and to put their lives in danger.

This leads to the next question.

Do you put the things of Jesus first? This is living your life for a different goal.

If you’ve made it this far and want to see your life count through relationships, then you are on your way to living your life for a different set of goals and values.

The values of our culture point to notoriety, importance, influence, money, and power. While none of those things are wrong or sinful, they don’t lead to a lasting impact. Those things make an impact, but not a lasting one.

A simple exercise for this week is to read Matthew 5 – 7, and see where your life lines up with this. Because we aren’t perfect, there should be a part of those passages that do not line up with your life.

Are you trustworthy? Another thing to think about is this: are you a person of character? 

Both Timothy and Epaphroditus were men of character. 

People of character are missing in our culture. 

Men and women who will lead through serving can be trusted. They are the ones who will put others before themselves, and who are the same no matter who is around. 

That is trustworthy. And trustworthiness is built over a lifetime, but can be lost in a moment. 

How are you doing?

You probably know already, but if you want to be brave, I’d encourage you to ask these questions of those closest to you and see what blind spots you might have. 

Our world, workplaces, schools, homes, and friendships need people of consequence, people who will make an impact with their lives. We don’t need people who flame out after their 11 minutes of fame, but ones who make real and lasting impact. 

And we long for that as well. 

5 Steps to Wrecking Your Life

your life

On Sunday, I talked about the reality that everyone, man or woman, married, divorced or single, is always one choice away from wrecking their lifeIf you missed it, you can listen to it here.

The question I always wrestle with is, “How?” How is it possible for so many professional athletes to throw it all away to take PED’s? Why do so many people sleep with someone they aren’t married to and lose their marriage? Why do people gamble with their finances and go into debt in hopes of finding the quick fix? Why do people gamble or look at porn while at work and lose their jobs? The list goes on and on.

In his helpful book Impact: Great Leadership Changes Everything by Tim Irwin, he says there are 5 steps to wrecking your life, or as he would say derailing your life. They are:

  1. Lack of self-awareness. This comes when a person doesn’t know what could bring them down. They don’t know what their weaknesses are. Is it money, greed, power, sex, lust, a bigger house or car? What are they willing to trade their marriage, reputation, kids or future in for? If you don’t know that, you will be brought down.
  2. Arrogance or misguided confidence. This is when a person sees someone wreck their life and says, “That could never happen to me.” This is when a person sins once and says, “I already did it once, what is one more time?” They have supreme confidence they can stop whenever or take back control whenever they choose. Or, that it won’t destroy their life.
  3. Missed warning signals. This might be close calls in getting caught, being late to work for staying up too late, conviction from the Holy Spirit that you push away or even evidence that you might get caught.
  4. Rationalization. This is when you start to say things like, “I deserve this.” Or, “This is my only vice.” Or, you blame someone else for your situation. “If my spouse was more attentive.” Or, “If I had a little more money we could get ahead.” Or, “My kids will understand when their older why I had to work like I did.”
  5. Derailment. Eventually, with enough time, enough rationalizations, you hit the wall and derail your life.

The problem is that no one knows when derailment will hit. Some people get away with something for years.

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10 Lies Leaders Love

book

This is from Tim Irwin’s new book Impact: Great Leadership Changes EverythingIt is a list of the lies leaders believe that drive self-deception in their lives and often lead to not reaching their potential or falling completely out of the leadership game because of moral failure. They are lies leaders tell themselves to allow them to act in ways they shouldn’t. Sadly, I have believed these at different times and have seen countless pastors fall prey to them.

  1. I’m the smartest person in the room. I have better ideas and better judgement than anyone on the team.
  2. I’m responsible for these results. They could not have done this without me. I did this. 
  3. Everyone is out to get me because they are envious. I am so good, and they can’t stand it. They know I’m on the fast track and are going to try to get me off track.
  4. These people work for me. They have to deliver to my standards. I need them to focus on helping me.
  5. I don’t have to follow normal rules…I deserve special consideration. I have a big job and need to ignore some rules to get my goals accomplished.
  6. I’m entitled to that. I worked hard and made this place what it is. This place was a wreck before I took over. Through my leadership we are finally making some money.
  7. It’s not material. This is a rounding error. No one would begrudge me for taking this.
  8. No one will ever know. We can fudge these numbers a little. Next quarter should be spectacular, and we can restate this quarter’s earnings.
  9. It’s not my fault. I did everything I was supposed to do. Those other guys dropped the ball.
  10. I don’t need to be accountable to anyone. Nobody here really understands what I’m trying to do. It’s only results that the board is after, and I can get those if the rest of the team would get out of my way.

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