Tag Archives: leaders

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Three Important Categories for Leaders

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A few weeks ago, I was at the Drive Conference in Atlanta and heard Joel Thomas layout three important categories for leaders. Since then, I’ve been chewing on it because I think they are critical, and they also explain some frustrations we have as leaders if we don’t understand them.

Identity 

Identity is who you are. Your role in life as a husband, wife, parent, friend, boss, and child of God. 

These are also the roles you play outside of leadership and ministry; the hobbies that you have, the interests you give your time to. 

This is hard for us to think about, but this is the foundation of leadership. Too often, as leaders, our identity is wrapped up in what we do or our ability. 

Your identity is formed in a lot of ways that affect your leadership. 

It started years ago in your family of origin. It is formed in early experiences in school and friendships as you grow up. Your experiences and the heartaches shape it, as well as the celebrations you experience through life. 

If you grew up and learned not to trust people or that people can’t be trusted (real hurts), that shapes how you interact with people around you and how much trust you give to others. If you were raised to believe that what you did was the most important thing about you, that shapes how you go about leadership and teamwork.

Your story affects how you interact, show up, your motivations and how you trust or do not trust those around you. 

Connected to this is understanding how you are wired. You need to know your personality, motivations, desires, and fears. You also need to understand the things you carry from your past: shame, hurt and other parts of your story. 

Those things about you shape your identity as a leader and are easily overlooked.

Calling

Calling is what you feel like God has called you to do with your life. 

We define that differently. And we talk about how that calling comes to us in different ways, but we have it. 

Some feel called to be a pastor, in ministry, etc. You may feel called to leadership in the marketplace, a non-profit; your calling may be to eradicate something. But all of us have that calling. 

We get tripped when we confuse identity and calling. They are connected but not the same. 

And let me say this, being a pastor is a calling, but it’s also a job. A job that you will one day leave and retire from. 

In many ways, identity is who you are, calling is what you do with that or because of that.  

Identity is who you are, calling is what you do with that or because of that.

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John Onwuchekwa said, “You HAVE a calling FROM God. You ARE a child OF God.”

Assignment

Your assignment is what God has called you to now. Your assignment right now might be to be a lead pastor, associate pastor, church planter, elder, or volunteer. 

Your assignment is your current season. It may be just beginning. You may be ending an assignment and figuring out what’s next. 

Again, we can confuse our calling with an assignment. We can also confuse our assignment with our identity. Many pastors and leaders don’t know where they end and where their church begins, which leads to all kinds of unhealthy things. 

Assignments can last decades, and they can last for a year. Assignments can change at the drop of a hat when you aren’t aware. 

These categories are critical to understand and keep separate. If we confuse them, we will find ourselves in some dangerous places as leaders and watch our hearts erode. 

3 areas leaders need to be aware of.

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Links for Leaders 11/16/18

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It’s the weekend…finally.

And since it’s the weekend, it’s the perfect time to catch up on some reading. Below, you’ll find some articles I came across this week that I found helpful as a leader and parent and hope you do as well.

Recently, God has been teaching me a lot about grieving losses in life and leadership. All of us have experienced loss and come up against the limits in life, whether in a relationship, a dream, finances, health, but how we deal with them and move forward determines so much for us. Many of us get stuck. Recently, I came across a great quote that helped me understand this even more and what it takes to move forward.

Before diving into those, in case you missed them this week. Here are the top 3 posts on my blog this week that I hope you find helpful:

Now, here’s what I found helpful:

Christmas is almost here, and I hope you are preparing for it as a church. Tony Morgan’s company has helped a lot of churches, and they have two posts you should read: 3 strategies to leverage Christmas for reaching new people and three next step ideas for annual Christmas attendees. Don’t miss the opportunity of Christmas!

We’ve adopted twice, and adoption is beautiful, challenging, amazing and tragic all at once. Many times, you feel like you are fighting for the heart of your adopted child (or any child for that matter). This post from parent cue was so encouraging to me, and if you’re a parent (adoptive or not), I think it will encourage you.

I get asked a lot about the books I read and how I find good books. One way is to see what other leaders I respect are learning. Brian Dodd is always posting great books, and he lays out 19 books leaders should read ing 2019. I’ve read a few of these but look forward to diving into a few others on this list.

If you’re a pastor or been in church for any length of time, you know the drill at church, so it is easy to forget what it feels like to be a guest. The emotions a guest has the fears, the thoughts. This post from Rich Birch was so helpful to me, and a great reminder of what people feel when they walk into your church on a Sunday morning.

The holidays are almost here (I can’t believe that Thanksgiving is next week!), so it is important to decide as a family, individual, couple, what pace you will keep over the next month so that you aren’t too tired. Here are 10 great tips from parent cue.

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2018 Leadership Summit – 32 Leadership Quotes from Craig Groeschel

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Every year, my team and I attend the leadership summit. This year, there is a shadow hanging over the summit as I outlined here, but I’m still trusting that it will have some incredibly helpful content, just like in past years. To capture what I’m learning and to help you grow as a leader, I always share my notes from each session, so be sure to check back after each session and bookmark them for future use.

The first session featured a talk from Craig Groeschel. He is the Senior Pastor of Life.Church and the author of many books. His session was on what it looks like to be a leader that people love to follow.

The following are some takeaways:

  1. When the leader gets better, everyone gets better.
  2. Leadership is never about title and position, it is about trust and influence.
  3. Leaders are given great power and must wield that for the good of others.
  4. Leaders can make excuses or make a difference, but they can’t make both.
  5. A humble leader can learn from anybody.
  6. The two areas a leader needs to grow in is leadership (where are you taking me) and emotional intelligence (how are you treating me).
  7. There’s a difference between a leader who is popular and one who is respected.
  8. You will never be respected if you are only trying to be respected.
  9. The 3 feelings you will have under great and trusted leadership: you feel valued, inspired, and empowered.
  10. Leaders need a heart to care.
  11. You will never be a leader that people love to follow if you don’t love people.
  12. An essential part of being a leader is I notice, You matter.
  13. Appreciate more than you think you should. Then double it.
  14. Leaders need a passion to inspire. 
  15. There is a difference between inspiration and motivation.
  16. Motivation is about pushing people to do something they don’t want to do.
  17. Inspiring is pulling out of them what is already inside of them.
  18. Inspired employees are twice as productive as employees who call themselves satisfied.
  19. Following through is inspiring.
  20. The most important quality is a centered leader. A centered leader is secure, stable, confident, not easily distracted or swayed, fully engaged.
  21. A centered leader is guided by values, driven by purpose.
  22. All you need as a leader to inspire people is 1 or 2 developed strengths.
  23. Leaders need a willingness to empower.
  24. The best leaders unleash higher performance through empowerment, not command and control.
  25. You can have control or growth, but you can’t have both.
  26. If you delegate tasks, you’re creating followers. If we delegate authority, we are creating leaders.
  27. We do this as leaders by making the decisions that only we can make.
  28. The fewer decisions you are making, the better you are as a leader.
  29. The strength of an organization is reflected by how deep into it people have the ability to say yes.
  30. The best way to find out if you trust someone is to trust them.
  31. If you don’t trust your team, you are either too controlling or you have the wrong people.
  32. Leaders need the courage to be real, vulnerable, stand up with humility and take risks even when you’re scared. 
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Links for Leaders 3/16/18

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It’s the weekend…finally. The perfect time to grab a cup of coffee and catch up on some reading. Below, you’ll find some articles I came across this week that I found helpful as a leader and parent and hope you do as well.

This past week, my blog was named Christian leaders blogs for Christian leaders. Honored to be included on that list.

Before diving into those, in case you missed them this week. Here are the top 3 posts on my blog this week that I hope you find helpful:

Here are the posts I enjoyed:

The church I lead is in the process of hiring some new staff members, so this post on 12 characteristics to look for in spiritual entrepreneurs was really helpful and interesting.

I have one middle schooler and am a few years away from having more, so this article on 5 challenges and changes middle schoolers face was incredibly timely for me. Tons of great insights in it.

Writing sermons is a big part of any pastor’s job and many pastors struggle with their sermon in terms of crafting it, the format. My leadership coach has an enormously helpful way to craft it.

Some blog posts you read are simply sage wisdom for a leader, the thing you needed most to hear on a certain day. These 11 words for leaders from Ron Edmondson was that for me this week.

If you have kids, you have probably gotten frustrated with them and said or did something you regretted. But what if you could avoid that? That’s what Dr. Jim Burns suggests here. His suggestion of letting reality be the teacher for your teens is fantastic.

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Links for Leaders 11/10/17

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It’s the weekend…finally. The perfect time to grab a cup of coffee and catch up on some reading. Below, you’ll find some articles I came across this week that I found helpful as a leader and parent and hope you do as well.

Before diving into those, in case you missed them this week. Here are the top 3 posts from my blog this week that I hope you find helpful:

Now, onto the articles I came across that I hope will help you:

I’m always on the lookout for a good book from leaders I respect and Brian Dodd is one of those leaders. He gives his list of 18 books leaders need to read in 2018. I’ve read some of them but look forward to some of the ones I haven’t.

Most people, pastors and churches have an opinion of what being an effective preacher is and does. Jason Allen shares what a faithful preacher is, which I found to be incredibly helpful and insightful.

Many leaders are busy, driven people, but they can also very easily fall into laziness as a leader. That laziness, can show up in unexpected way. Ron Edmondson shares 7 ways laziness show up in leadership.

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Links for Leaders 9/22/17

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It’s the weekend…finally. The perfect time to grab a cup of coffee and catch up on some reading. Below, you’ll find some articles and podcasts I came across this week that I found helpful as a leader and parent and hope you do as well.

Before diving into those, in case you missed them this week. Here are the top 3 posts from my blog this week that I hope you find helpful:

Now, onto some more articles and podcasts to help you:

This post (Why Control Freaks Rarely Lead Large Organizations) from Carey Nieuwhof was the most convicting thing I’ve read as a leader in a long time. This hit me right where I am right now and nailed the struggle and tension that I feel as a leader.

If you’re a parent and a fan of podcasts, the last two Parent Cue podcasts have been great. The first is on how grandparents can help with parenting and being a great influence on kids. The second is on advice for the varying stages of fatherhood.

On a regular basis a guy will tell me about how his coworker “gets him.” Is more attractive than his spouse or some other reason why they should leave their spouse. Wrong. And Adam Weber has a great post on 5 reasons your coworker is cuter than your husband or wife.

If you’re a pastor or leader, you probably struggle with hiring. Hiring feels like pinning the tail on the donkey and seems to only workout half the time. Rich Birch, who has a fantastic podcast for leaders has some great axioms on hiring.

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Links for Leaders 4/28/17

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It’s the weekend. The perfect time to grab a cup of coffee and catch up on some reading. Here are 6 articles & podcasts I came across this week that I found helpful as a leader and parent and hope you do as well.

Ever wonder what is holding you back in your life or leadership? Here are 7 things that if eliminated, will raise the lid of your life and leadership.

I always tell leaders and couples they need to find someone older, further down the road than they are and learn from them. Here’s a list of 22 things one pastor learned after 42 years in ministry. This is gold. Thanks for sharing Ron.

It is easy as a leader to keep running faster and faster and not deal with the things in your heart and soul. Chuck Lawless has 10 questions every leader should ask each week, that I found to be incredibly helpful.

As kids get older, they need certain adults in their life to help them grow and mature, not only as people, but as followers of Jesus. A parent plays a crucial role in this. Kara Powell shares some great insights on this podcast about who these adults are.

We all know that the best work is accomplished when we are able to focus and concentrate. We don’t have our best ideas when we are multi-tasking and running from one thing to the next, but we rarely make time or schedule time to focus. Here are 3 ideas from a great book called Deep Work that will help you with that. 

If you’ve been a reader of this blog for any length of time, you know that I love books and think reading is the key to growth and success in life and leadership. But how important is reading? Does it really move the needle that much? Here’s the answer.

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Leaders are Not Whiners

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leaders

“The leader in the system is the one who is not blaming anyone.” -Ed Friedman

If you get a group of pastors together in a room, or leaders of ministry teams, you will often hear complaints. Complaints about working with certain volunteers or staff members, budget cuts, financial difficulties, recruiting or simply the pace and difficulty of ministry and leadership.

This is a good and appropriate place to share those things.

Often, though, I’ll hear pastors or ministry leaders share these same complaints with their churches or people who are not in leadership.

Bottom line, one of the things that separates leaders from non-leaders is leaders are not whiners.

Is leading hard?

Yes.

Did you sign up for it?

Yes.

Did you know leading would be this hard?

No.

Does that matter?

No.

Mainly I’ll hear leaders talk about how difficult their job is. In fact one of our staff members recently visited another church, and the lead pastor spent 20 minutes (20 minutes!) talking about how hard being a pastor was and how hard planting a church was.

Leaders are not whiners.

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Now being a pastor is hard. Starting a church is hard. Recruiting people, managing people, conflict resolution, budgets, family life and ministry life colliding are all hard.

But if you are a pastor, hear this: Your life is not harder than anyone else’s. Your job is not harder than anyone else’s. It’s just different.

Being a pastor is not the hardest job on the planet; it’s just different.

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Think for a minute about most church planters and pastors: they have lots of meetings. The people in their church don’t know if they are at Starbucks working on a message, chatting with a leader, reading a book or a blog (thanks for reading this one), working on fantasy football or taking a nap.

Is pastoring hard? Yes. Is it harder than being a plumber? No.

It’s different.

When you as a leader whine about how hard it is, your people roll their eyes and lose respect.

When you as a leader talk about how hard it is to raise money, gain support for a vision or recruit volunteers, you lose their respect. People are attracted to a vision.

Take kids’ ministry. There is always a shortage of team members in kids’ ministry. You could bemoan that fact, or you could cast a compelling vision to people: Most people begin a relationship with Jesus before they turn 18. In fact, if you think about your life, you are still feeling the effects of the choices you made before you were 18. What if you could make an impact for good in the life of a child or student? Steer them away from the mistakes you made and help them find the life God has called them to? Wouldn’t that be awesome?!

How to vision cast to potential kids’ and students’ volunteers.

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Sign me up.

We’re a portable church, so we have to set up and tear down, and no one likes that job. What if instead of complaining about it, you saw the opportunity to cast a vision: Did you know every week a guest comes to our church, and many of them come because they drove by and saw a sign? Think about how God works. That’s amazing. Not only that, when we set up chairs we don’t just set up chairs. We pray over each of those chairs as we set them up. When I put a Bible on that seat I’m praying for the person who will sit there and maybe for the first time will hear about Jesus and the life he offers. We don’t just set up chairs. We put a chair down so someone can sit down and hear about the life Jesus died and rose from the dead to give them. You can set up chairs anywhere, but we’re part of helping people hear about Jesus. Do you want to do that? I can’t think of a better way to spend my Sunday morning than praying for guests who will hear about Jesus. Can you?

Is it hard? Yes. Do people say yes when you vision cast? Not all the time.

If leadership was easy, everyone would do it.

If leadership was easy, everyone would do it.

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