How to Not be so Serious (And Enjoy Summer Vacation)

summer vacation

Most leaders are serious people. We are determined, goal oriented and focused, which means we often don’t know how to let go, have fun and laugh.

Summer is a great time to reorient ourselves as leaders and enjoy life.

So, leader to leader, here are some ways to enjoy life (this summer and into the future):

  • Do something spontaneous.
  • Laugh.
  • Watch a funny movie.
  • Read a novel that has nothing to do with leadership.
  • Sleep in.
  • Stay up late.
  • Eat ice cream late at night.
  • Take a last minute road trip.
  • Take a long walk.
  • Lie on the couch.
  • Make paper airplanes.
  • Build a Lego set with your kids.
  • Play a game with your kids.
  • Cook a meal you’ve wanted to try.
  • Splurge and go to that expensive restaurant.
  • Lie out in the sun and get a tan.
  • Collect sea shells at the beach.
  • Ride a roller coaster.
  • Take your spouse on a date.
  • Get a massage.

10 Ways to Beat Stress & 5 Other Ideas To Help You Grow as a Leader

leader

Here are 6 posts I came across this week that challenged my thinking or helped me as a leader, husband and father (and athlete this week). I hope they help you too:

  1. 10 Rules for Beating Stress by Travis Bradberry
  2. 10 Rules for Upping Your Speaking Game by Nick Morgan
  3. What Happened When I Stopped Using Screens after 11 p.m. by Alex Cavoulacos
  4. 8 Ways to Slow Down & De-Stress Your Busy Life by John Rampton
  5. 5 Things Great Leaders Know about Emotions by Carey Nieuwhof
  6. 5 Reasons Church Announcements Cause Problems by Thom Rainer

5 Systems Every Church Needs

systems

Depending on who you ask about church systems, you will either get excited looks about the potential of them and how they can help people, or you will get looks of disgust because they sound like the business world and not very shepherding.

Yet the reason many churches fail is not because of a lack of caring but a lack of intentionality.

They are led by pastors who are incredibly relational and shepherding but lack the organizational skills to help people grow. And that is the crucial piece of that word failure. I’m not talking about not growing but about failing to help people reach the growth in their discipleship that God has for them.

In a small church, that happens one-on-one with a pastor. As a church grows, that must begin to spread out or there will be a lid on how many people a church can disciple and help grow in their relationship with Jesus.

The answer to that dilemma: systems.

Many large churches have these systems down and do a great job at them. Sadly, many church plants need these systems but do not have them in place, so they fail to get the traction they’d like or see the growth in the lives of their people.

Here are five systems you need to have in place to not only grow as a church, but help your people grow:

1. First time guest. When a guest shows up at your church, what happens? How do you know they came? When you are smaller as a church, you know someone is a guest because you know everyone, or the guest comes dressed up and the regular attenders don’t do that. But as you grow it becomes easier for people to slip in and out. It is good to give people anonymity until they’re ready to let themselves be known to you. But when they are ready, how will they tell you? Is it a connection card? What will you do with that information? If you get a connection card this Sunday, what happens to that on Monday?

You can’t leave that to chance.

I remember hearing Rick Warren say once, “God sends people to churches who are ready for those people to come.” I believe that is true. Many churches that are growing can tell you what happens when someone walks in their doors.

We give something to a guest because we want to break down the barrier that the church wants something from them. That makes people defensive, especially men, as they are waiting for the church to ask for something. Instead we give them a gift, and then after their first time with us we send them a Starbucks gift card to say thanks. I get so many comments from second time guests who tell me they returned to our church because when they went to Starbucks, they thought of our church.

2. New believer. If someone became a Christian this Sunday in your church, what would you do? Of course you would be excited, but in that excitement do you have a plan for that person to help them grow? More than likely it would involve meeting with the pastor of the church. What if 25 people became followers of Jesus this Sunday? Now, you can’t meet with all those people. So what happens?

This is where you need a system and a plan to know what happens. Who do they talk to? Do they take a class? Do you have people in your church prepared and ready to talk with new believers?

3. First time giver. Giving can get weird in churches because it’s money and it’s private. Many pastors think it is wrong to know who gives in your church. I don’t see that anywhere in the Bible. Now if you struggle with treating bigger givers differently than those who give less, than that is something to work through, but that’s not what I’m talking about. Giving is a spiritual gift that many people in your church have, just like leadership and mercy are a spiritual gift. My hunch is that you know who has the gift of leadership, evangelism or hospitality in your church. You should know who has the gift of giving. And just as an aside, just because someone gives a lot does not make them the wealthiest people in your church, and you already know who the wealthiest people in your church are simply by going to their house and seeing their car and clothes.

In the same way that you should know who has the gift of giving in your church, you should know who gives for the first time in your church and do something with that. That is a huge step of faith on their part. Many pastors overlook that because they are always thinking about the budget and bills, and when someone gives that’s just helpful. But that person is now saying, “I want to grow in my faith. I want to hold loosely to what God has given me and trust Him. I’m bought in here to the point that I’m giving my money.” That is a huge step!

Celebrate that. Help that person continue to grow in that. They may have the gift of giving, they may not, but have a plan to help that person grow in that discipline. Giving is a crucial piece of spiritual growth and being a disciple of Jesus. Don’t let it happen by chance.

4. Community and relationships. Every church leader knows that growth happens best in the context of relationships. We preach on it and tell people that, but we fail to realize that community and moving into a small group of some kind is a huge step for people. It’s a time commitment in an already busy schedule. There is the fear of going to a house of a person they don’t know. How long will the group meet? Many groups are meeting until Jesus returns. What happens if the person goes to a group and doesn’t like it or the leader? Now it is really awkward when they see that person at church, and so many people choose to skip it all together.

These are barriers you have to get past if you want to see people enter into relationships at your church. We’ve experimented with three month small groups and told people, “You can do P90x for 90 days; try a group for 90 days.” We’ve also started to encourage people to enter a serving team first before joining a group. It is less of a commitment in their mind and still gets them shoulder to shoulder with other followers of Jesus. And serving helps you in your spiritual growth.

5. Leadership development. This last one took us the longest to develop, and because of that I believe it really stunted our health and growth as a church. Every pastor wants more leaders in his church. If you want to plant churches, you want men around you who want to plant churches. Yet many pastors simply hope those people will find their churches. If your church is near a seminary or a Bible college, that may just happen and will mask that you don’t have a plan to develop leaders.

Think about it like this: if you wanted to have 10 elder caliber leaders a year from now, how would you develop them? What would have to happen for that to occur?

If you want to plant a church two years from now and that person would come from within your church right now, how would you get that person ready? How would you find that person?

You need a leadership development system.

Like I said at the beginning, systems are often seen as bad or mechanical, so many shepherding leaders don’t use them. Systems help move people in their relationship with Jesus. Systems are crucial to the health of your church and the growth of your people.

The Making of a Leader: Recognizing the Lessons & Stages of Leadership Development

bookEvery Saturday, I review a book that I read recently. If you missed any, you can read past reviews here. This week’s book is The Making of a Leader: Recognizing the Lessons & Stages of Leadership Development by Robert Clinton.

I have had this book on my kindle for years and have heard about it from a number of leaders, but just recently got around to reading it. I actually took a group of younger leaders through it and as I was reading it, all I could think was, If I had read this sooner, I may have saved myself some leadership pain. 

In this book, Clinton lays out the stages a leader goes through to become the leader God intends them to be. He has 6 stages:

  1. Sovereign foundations: In Phase I, God providentially works foundational items into the life of the leader-to-be. Personality characteristics, experiences good and bad, and the time context will be used by God. The building blocks are there, though the structure being built may not be clearly in focus. Character traits are embedded.
  2. Inner-life Growth: In Phase II an emerging leader usually receives some kind of training. Often it is informal4 in connection with ministry. The leader-to-be learns by doing in the context of a local church or Christian organization. The basic models by which he or she learns are imitation modeling5 and informal apprenticeships,6 as well as mentoring. Sometimes it is formal training (especially if the person intends to go into full-time leadership) in a Bible school or seminary. 8 Sometimes, during the academic program, the person gets ministry experience.
  3. Ministry Maturing: In Phase III the emerging leader gets into ministry as a prime focus of life. He or she will get further training, informally through self-study growth projects or nonformally through functionally oriented workshops, etc.10 The major activities of Phase III are ministry. The training that goes on is rather incidental and often not intentional.
  4. Life Maturing: Phase IV will have this “you-minister-from-what-you-are” emphasis. During Phase IV the leader identifies and uses his or her gift-mix with power. There is mature fruitfulness. God is working through the leader using imitation modeling (Hebrews 13:7-8). That is, God uses one’s life as well as gifts to influence others. This is a period in which giftedness emerges along with priorities. One recognizes that part of God’s guidance for ministry comes through establishing ministry priorities by discerning gifts.
  5. Convergence: Phase V convergence occurs. That is, the leader is moved by God into a role that matches gift-mix, experience, temperament, etc. Geographical location is an important part of convergence. The role not only frees the leader from ministry for which there is no gift, but it also enhances and uses the best that the leader has to offer. Not many leaders experience convergence.
  6. Afterglow: Phase VI is the legacy leaders desire to leave, when they are able to bathe in what God has done.

According to Clinton, most leaders do not make it past stage 3.

The reason is simple. Young leaders when they get started, want to get started. The problem they run into is that stages 1-3 are all about the inner life of the leader. In those stages, God is working on the leader, in their heart developing them for the future. Very few books nail the inner life of a leader and help them work through what God is doing in their life without coming off as cliche, this book nails it.

I can’t recommend it enough for leaders.

Here are a few things that I highlighted:

  • Leadership is a lifetime of lessons.
  • The terms patterns, processes, and principles are foundational to understanding the analysis of a person’s life. Patterns deal with the overall framework, or the big picture, of a life. Processes deal with the ways and means used by God to move a leader along in the overall pattern. Principles deal with the identification of foundational truths within processes and patterns that have a wider application to leaders.
  • A proper, godly response allows a leader to learn the fundamental lessons God wants to teach. If the person doesn’t learn, he will usually be tested again in the same areas.
  • We minister out of what we are.
  • While all of life is used to shape us, some items in life can be tied more directly to leadership development.
  • The God-given capacity to lead has two parts: giftedness and character. Integrity is the heart of character.
  • An integrity check is a test that God uses to evaluate intentions in order to shape character.
  • There are three parts to an integrity check: the challenge to consistency with inner convictions, the response to the challenge, and the resulting expansion of ministry.
  • Because character development has many facets, there are a variety of integrity checks. This is a sampling of the many that I have identified: values (which determine convictions), temptation (which tests conviction), conflict against ministry vision (which tests faith), an alternative in guidance situations (which tests calling), persecution (which tests steadfastness), loyalty (which tests allegiance), and restitution (which tests honesty).
  • God won’t use a leader who lacks integrity.
  • God’s first priority in developing a leader is to refine his or her character.
  • A desire to please the Lord in a ministry task is a sign of maturity.
  • Leaders who have trouble submitting to authority will usually have trouble exercising spiritual authority.
  • authority insights and relational insights—rooted in the authority problem—may never be learned apart from conflict.
  • Leaders in the Ministry Maturing phase must learn to submit to authority in order to learn how to use authority properly.
  • Leadership backlash tests a leader’s perseverance, clarity of vision, and faith.
  • At the heart of leadership is communication between God and the leader.
  • Part of the development of spirituality includes what happens when a person faces isolation.
  • The qualities of love, compassion, empathy, discernment, and others are deepened. Such qualities dif ferentiate between a successful leader and a mature successful leader.
  • Leaders are often busy people. They are preoccupied with many facets of life and ministry. Often they do not notice that they are not growing, particularly in spiritual formation. God often breaks into the leader’s life at this point.
  • Isolation is one of the most effective means for maturing a leader.
  • Quality leadership does not come easily. It requires time, experience, and repeated instances of maturity processing.
  • Mature ministry flows from a mature character, formed in the graduate school of life.
  • God will vindicate spiritual authority.
  • Organizational change without ownership is treacherous.
  • All leaders operate from a ministry philosophy.
  • When God is trying to teach me a lesson, He will do so through many means. Important lessons are usually repeated.
  • In a power conflict the leader with higher power will usually win regardless of rightness of issue.
  • A person convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.
  • Leaders with good ministry philosophies usually finish well.

The Importance of Organizational Culture

organizational culture, analysis and development concept

What an organizational culture does to a church:

  1. Culture shapes our lives and all our beliefs.
  2. Culture is vital to effective ministry.
  3. Our culture affects the way we conduct our ministries in the church.
  4. Culture helps us understand better the different people we seek to reach for Christ.
  5. Cultural understanding is essential to leaders if they are to lead their established churches well.
  6. Cultural understanding is essential to leaders if they are to lead their planted churches well.
  7. Culture may cannibalize strategic planning.
  8. Understanding culture helps the church cope with changes in its external environment.

From Look Before You Lead: How to Discern & Shape Your Church Culture by Aubrey Malphurs.

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Developing Leaders at all Levels

“Apprenticeship is at the heart of this new approach to leadership development. To understand why, you’ll have to come to grips with a potentially controversial belief:  leadership can only be developed through practice. Those who have talent for leadership must develop their abilities by practicing in the real world and converting that experience into improved skill and judgment. That conversion does not take place in a classroom.” -Ram Charan, Leaders at all Levels