Tag Archives: meaning

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How to Make Your Life Count

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Meaning.

Purpose.

All of us want our lives to count, but how? Is there a secret formula to it that a few people figure out and others don’t?

The truth is, while all of us want our lives to make an impact, only a few of us actually live lives that we would say make an impact. Instead, we just see people who are at work, in the neighborhood, and at school.

The people who make their lives count don’t focus on money, influence, or power. Athough, those things may come as the person makes an impact. No, the people who make an impact focus on one thing: relationships.

Impact is felt and measured in relationships.

Impact is felt and measured in relationships.

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So, how do we live our lives? How do we schedule our lives so that relationships matter to us, and so that our lives count?

One of the things I’ve seen as I’ve preached through the book of Philippians is that while joy and hope are significant themes in the book, relationships are an enormous part of it as well. Paul talks again and again about his love for the Philippian church. But he also spends a lot of time in chapter two talking about “putting the interests of others first,” and “to not think of yourself, but to think of others.”

Then in verses 19 – 30, he tells us about Timothy and Epaphroditus and how they exhibit these qualities.

They put others first by genuinely caring, putting the things of Jesus first, and being trustworthy (men of character).

As we think about our lives and relationships, there are three important and timely things in our culture.

Do you genuinely care for people? One of the things that Pual tells us about Timothy is that he genuinely cares for others (2:20), not just cares, but genuinely.

Would the people closest to you say you genuinely care for them? Are you showing interest in who they are, their story, what they are walking through, and how they see the world the way they do?

Or, are you only interested in what people can do for you?

We show care by being there for people, listening to them, watching out for them, serving them, and protecting them as the situation calls for it.

Timothy and Epaphroditus put their lives on the line to be with Paul in prison, to be with him in a low point of his life, and to put their lives in danger.

This leads to the next question.

Do you put the things of Jesus first? This is living your life for a different goal.

If you’ve made it this far and want to see your life count through relationships, then you are on your way to living your life for a different set of goals and values.

The values of our culture point to notoriety, importance, influence, money, and power. While none of those things are wrong or sinful, they don’t lead to a lasting impact. Those things make an impact, but not a lasting one.

A simple exercise for this week is to read Matthew 5 – 7, and see where your life lines up with this. Because we aren’t perfect, there should be a part of those passages that do not line up with your life.

Are you trustworthy? Another thing to think about is this: are you a person of character? 

Both Timothy and Epaphroditus were men of character. 

People of character are missing in our culture. 

Men and women who will lead through serving can be trusted. They are the ones who will put others before themselves, and who are the same no matter who is around. 

That is trustworthy. And trustworthiness is built over a lifetime, but can be lost in a moment. 

3 questions to ask yourself so you can make an impact with your life.

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How are you doing?

You probably know already, but if you want to be brave, I’d encourage you to ask these questions of those closest to you and see what blind spots you might have. 

Our world, workplaces, schools, homes, and friendships need people of consequence, people who will make an impact with their lives. We don’t need people who flame out after their 11 minutes of fame, but ones who make real and lasting impact. 

And we long for that as well. 

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How to Find Significance and Meaning

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Most people I meet want to do something significant with their life. They may not say they want to do something big, but they want to live a significant life, that has purpose and meaning.

Sometimes, we wonder if we missed our chance or if it isn’t our time just yet.

But I wonder if we go after significance all wrong.

The people that most would say do something significant, who make it, change the world, what we see is that last moment — the product, the platform, the book, podcast, the company, or church that explodes.

What we don’t see are all the small steps along the way.

Recently I preached on a verse that I’ve read a bunch of times but struck me in a new way.

In Galatians 6:9, Paul says: Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. -Galatians 6:9

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Don’t become weary in doing good? How is that possible? But all of us have grown weary of doing good.

We have become weary staying pure while we wait for a spouse, we have grown weary of being the only one with integrity at work; the only one who tries in the relationship.

Growing weary can mean to give up, to be discouraged, tired, rundown. It is wondering when our hopes and dreams will come true, not always the big ones but even the small ones of being noticed, loved, and cared for.

And when this happens, we lose hope.

We can lose hope when the platform doesn’t grow like we’d hope, when our family isn’t what we dreamed of, when our career doesn’t go as planned or when no one seems to notice us, they don’t see what we’re doing or how much we’re doing.

Some of you are parenting young kids and you wonder if you will ever have a normal life again or be able to go after your dreams that you once had and you need to hear, don’t lose hope. Or you wonder if all that you’re doing for your kids is doing anything and you are weary. Don’t lose hope.

Some of you feel like you are the only one trying in a relationship, you are the one serving, and you need to hear, don’t lose hope, don’t grow weary.

Or you’re tired of having faith because it doesn’t seem to go anywhere. You wonder, when is God going to hear my prayer, when is God going to let me have that breakthrough and be noticed. I’m tired of being in the background. Don’t grow weary. Don’t lose hope.

Why?

At the proper time, we will reap a harvest if we don’t give up.

Paul says if we don’t grow weary, we reap a harvest. Your harvest might be how you serve, and that sets someone else up for something. The way you help your kids might be what changes the world. The way you serve your spouse, your friends, your boss, or neighbor. You don’t know what God is going to do. Someone might stand on your shoulders or stand on the shoulders of someone you serve and give your all.

Andy Stanley said, “The greatest contribution you make to the kingdom of God might not be something you do but someone you raise.”

The greatest contribution you make to the kingdom of God might not be something you do but someone you raise. -Andy Stanley

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All of us have been impacted by somebody. That person didn’t give up on doing good. The person who impacted them didn’t give up. The point is we never know where our impact and influence will go.

The harvest that I experience in life is because someone along the way didn’t grow weary with me. They didn’t give up on me. Small group leaders, mentors, coaches, parents, teachers, and friends all along the way are part of whatever I do and accomplish.

Too often we underestimate the power of the little things in life and the impact they can make. Yes, big things and audacious goals change the world. But so do small, seemingly insignificant things. A hug, your presence, helping someone move, a listening ear. Don’t underestimate the power of the little things.

Small, seemingly insignificant, things change the world too.

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Here’s one of the biggest temptations I see among Christians. So many people want to do great things for God; we want to change the world. We want to start this or that, have this platform, start this company that will change the world, release a product into the world that changes everything, write a book, have a huge following online, when we are unwilling to do the little everyday things that God has put in front of them because it isn’t big enough.

The other side of this is when we feel like something isn’t big enough, and so we wonder if it is worth doing. Or, as we get older and look at our lives and think, “Have I done anything significant?”

And don’t miss this: the little moment that seems insignificant can become something more significant in the hands of God. Don’t overlook the small things because you don’t know what God is doing.

The little moment that seems insignificant can become something bigger in the hands of God.

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It might be because it is too hard, it might be because it is taking so long.

But don’t grow weary in doing the good right in front of you.

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Five Things That Destroy Your Courage in Life

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To accomplish anything in life, you need courage.

You need the courage to get out of bed each morning and face the day. It takes courage to tell a boss, co-worker, spouse or friend what you need or want. It takes courage to lead anything forward. It takes courage to parent. It takes courage to quit a job and leave security to chase a dream.

But courage is easily lost. And when it’s lost, we miss out on new things, great things.

In their excellent book The Practice of Adaptive Leadership, the authors list five things that hold us back from having the courage to face the road ahead:

5 things that hold us back from having the courage to face the road ahead.

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1. Loyalties to people who may not believe you are doing the right thing. We often underestimate the power of people in our lives, especially people from our past. Teachers, parents, first bosses or coaches, guidance counselors, boyfriends, girlfriends; they all make an impact. They have said things that encouraged us and pushed us forward, but they have also said things that have cut us.

My guidance counselor in high school told me I wasn’t college material and I should give up that goal and get a job working with my hands. That has always rung in my head. I am constantly fighting the battle of feeling like I belong somewhere, or that I am smart enough to be sitting at a table.

Are the loyalties you have to people in your past holding you back in any way? Are there any messages ringing in your head that are keeping you from reaching for a dream?

2. Fear of incompetence. Nobody wants to look dumb, unprepared or not up to the task. Failure paralyzes so many of us.

The reality is, anything new will be a learning curve. Asking for help is difficult for many of us, but is the only way to new things.

If you knew all that you needed to know to reach that future goal or dream, you’d probably be there by now. But you aren’t.

If it’s helpful, make a list of things that you don’t know, do you know anyone who is an expert in those things? Podcasts you can listen to? Books or blogs you can read? Make an effort to grow and fight that fear of incompetence.

Now, this list will be helpful, make a list of things that could go wrong if you had the courage you needed. What is the worse thing that could happen? The irony of this list is that the worst thing that could happen is rarely horrible.

Five Things That Destroy Your Courage in Life

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3. Uncertainty about taking the right path. Going closely with the fear of incompetence is the deciding on the right way forward. The reality of having courage is that you might take one step forward and three steps back, four steps to the right and then you’ll be on the right path.

That’s okay.

Your life isn’t over. And you aren’t too old to start over or brush off the dirt and move forward.

4. Fear of loss. The reality of anything new, any new dream or goal brings about change.

Change always involves a loss.

Sometimes that loss is good and dead weight that needs to let go of in your life, but often that loss will hurt.

If you’re a leader, you know that any change you make will bring loss because everyone won’t move forward with you. That is difficult for you and those around you.

Life and leadership are about learning to grieve the losses along the way so you can keep moving forward.

5. Not having the stomach for the hard parts of the journey. I once heard someone say that “everything great is uphill.” Probably both ways!

But it will be hard.

You will hit moments where your passion is gone, your energy is zapped, and you wonder if you can make it.

It is at this point that most people get off the dream train.

This is why I think it is so crucial for you to feel a sense of calling, purpose or meaning to what you are going after. Merely liking a challenge or thinking this is the next step for you will not get you through the hard parts.

Five Things That Destroy Your Courage in Leadership

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You will not experience all five of these today or maybe ever. There will be one that will keep you from reaching the peak of your life. It is important to know which one it is for you so you are able to see it coming a mile away and learn how to combat it.