Tag Archives: new year’s resolutions

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How to Set the Right Priorities This Year

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Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

Our priorities come from the love we seek. 

This simple statement has been a helpful grid for me to evaluate many things in my life: how I spend my money and time, which opportunities to say yes or no to, how I parent and handle friendships, and more. 

We all want love from something or someone. 

It might be a parent who determines our priorities. 

It might be a child, so our priority is to sign them up for every activity.  

It might be a boss, a teacher, or a spouse. 

It might be what someone thinks of us, so that drives.

Our priorities come from the love we seek.

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If you want to know what kind of love you are seeking, look at how you spend your time and money. That will give a very quick picture of who in your life is at the top of your list. 

Our priorities determine how we spend our time, money, and energy, who we hang out with, who we vote for, and where we live. Our priorities determine everything about our lives.

Our priorities determine everything about our lives.

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And this is important: Our priorities aren’t what we say they are, but what we actually do. 

How I spent my time and money shows my priorities. 

We may say our priorities are God when it comes to our finances, but if we aren’t generous, if we don’t give back to God, then we’re lying to ourselves. 

We talk about how community or family matters while working 70 hours a week. 

We talk about how much health or sleep matter when eating 3,000 calories a day, sleeping 6 hours a night, and living on fast food and energy drinks. 

We say our relationship with God is a priority, yet we don’t read our Bibles or spend any time listening to God’s voice. 

We say our marriage is a priority, yet we never have a date night or a getaway with our spouse. 

We say emotional and mental health is a priority, and then we never wrestle with our story or go to counseling. 

As a follower of Jesus, the love that I seek is already found in Jesus (Ephesians 1:4). 

Living in the truth of God’s love for us can be difficult to pin down. For many of us, we believe it in our heads, but struggle to get his love into our hearts. We know that our emotions can lie to us, but what do we do when we don’t feel God’s love? How do we keep that front and center in our lives to live from our true identity in Christ?

In his book, Wiser With Jesus: Overcoming the Temptations that Hinder Your Relationships, Steal Your Time, Mar Your Decision–Making and Thwart Your Purpose, Zach Eswine gives 6 ways to live our lives from the truth of God’s love for us: 

6 ways God’s love helps us to live.

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God’s love prioritizes what we set our minds on, helping us persevere (1 Corinthians 13:1-8). 

God’s love frames our prayers for each other (Ephesians 3:18-19). 

God’s love anchors our identity (Galatians 2:20). 

God’s love prompts our repentance (Romans 2:4). 

God’s love empowers our obedience (Ephesians 5:1). 

God’s love enables us to make it through no matter what (Romans 8:35-39). 

6 ways God’s love helps us to make wise decisions.

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How to ReFocus in the New Year

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Photo by Stefan Cosma on Unsplash

In 2 Timothy, Paul tells Timothy: Therefore, I remind you to rekindle the gift of God that is in you through the laying on of my hands. For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but one of power, love, and sound judgment.

This is incredibly important as we start a new year. Many of us have spent time thinking about last year, growth plans for the new year, praying through, and coming up with a word for the year, all so that we can focus on the new year. This is a great thing. 

But Paul tells Timothy to rekindle the gift of God. We don’t know for sure what the gift was that Paul was talking about, but it gives us the idea that whatever it was, it had started to fade or fizzle out. Our passions, drive, and focus can all fizzle out. This is why it is so important as we start a new year to take stock of where we are and where God wants us to be in the coming year. Not so we can come up with new goals or resolutions but so we can have focus as we move into the new year. 

How to refocus when we get off track.

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Many of us don’t need something new but to be reminded of what we have and what God has entrusted to us. 

Many of us don’t need something new but need to be reminded of what we have and what God has entrusted to us.

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To help you focus this year, here are 8 questions Brad Lomenick asks in his book, The Catalyst Leader: 

  1. What are the 2-3 themes that personally define me?
  2. What people, books, accomplishments, or special moments created highlights for me recently?
  3. Give yourself a grade from 1-10 in the following areas of focus: vocationally, spiritually, family, relationally, emotionally, financially, physically, and recreationally.
  4. What am I working on that is BIG for the next year and beyond?
  5. As I move into this next season or year, is most of my energy spent on things that drain or energize me?
  6. How am I preparing for 10 years from now? 20 years from now?
  7. What 2-3 things have I been putting off that I need to execute before the end of the year?
  8. Is my family closer than a year ago? Am I a better friend than a year ago? If not, what needs to change immediately?

Many of us don’t need something new. We, like Timothy, need to rekindle what God has called us to. 

When we do, we can move forward in that power, love, and sound judgment instead of living from a place of fear. 

How do we know the difference?

We live from a place of fear when we live someone else’s goal for our lives, fall into what everyone else is doing, and live in a way that doesn’t honor God or his word. Too many people live someone else’s life or someone else’s dream. Timothy could’ve struggled with this very easily. His mentor and spiritual father was the apostle Paul. A man who wrote 2/3 of the New Testament and planted many churches. Those are huge shoes to fill. Yet, Paul says, “Don’t fill my shoes. Fill what God has called you to, be who God created you to be.” 

In this New Year, fulfill what God has called you to. Be who God created and called you to be. 

In this New Year, fulfill what God has called you to. Be who God created and called you to be.

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3 Ideas for 2021 Goals

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The calendar has turned and it is finally 2021!

Many of us never thought 2020 would end, but it did.

Now what?

If you’re like me, you are setting out goals and dreams for the new year. Maybe you do a word for the year, make a list of resolutions or goals.

To help with that, let me give you three ideas from Bob Goff’s book Dream Big: Know What You Want, Why You Want It, and What You’re Going to Do About It, to help you:

1. The unwritten rules of our lives. These are things we tell ourselves. I can’t handle money because my family didn’t do that. No one in my family was successful, so I can’t be successful. I’m too old. I’m too young. I don’t have enough school. I have too much school.

One of my unwritten rules that keeps me from dreaming or moving forward is the rule that whatever I do has to be a home run and be noticed. It is a constant battle of ambition that I fight.

If we aren’t aware of our lives’ unwritten rules, we will fall into old patterns or miss potential opportunities ahead of us. Often, we miss goals or set the wrong ones because we aren’t aware of our lives’ unwritten rules.

How the unwritten rules of your life impact you & your future.

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2. We don’t know what we want to be known for. Many of us don’t know what we want people to say about us at our funeral. Or, we know what we want them to say, but we aren’t willing to do those things. Bob Goff said, “Too many of us would rather succeed pretending to be someone we’re not than fail as ourselves.”

Too many of us would rather succeed pretending to be someone we’re not than fail as ourselves. -Bob Goff

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Many of us live the lives that other people want for us or the lives we think we should live because we have a certain number of kids, we are a certain age, etc.

This reminds me of Bronnie Ware’s book The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying, where she said the number 1 regret of those on their death bed was: I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. 

The #1 regret of those dying: I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

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I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to wait until I’m on my death bed to decide to live the life I’m supposed to live. What a tragedy.

And if 2020 taught us anything, it is that none of us are promised anything.

3. Be brave enough to try something new and be terrible at it. This is where the perfectionists stop in their tracks. Be terrible at it. Many men don’t want to attempt anything unless they are great at it. But one way we restore hope is curiosity, trying new things, learning something new.

Whatever you choose for 2021, be intentional.

As I walk into 2021, I am more and more passionate about not missing moments or opportunities. 2020 has reminded me of how short life and how important every moment is. I’m praying you, and I don’t miss what God has for us in 2021!

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How to Figure out God’s Will

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God's Will

Every time you say yes to something, you say no to something else.

This truth has had an enormous impact on how I live my life, how I make decisions, how we do our calendar as a family and how I lead Revolution Church.

But how do you know what to say yes and no to? That’s the most common question I get from someone who has read my book or has heard me say this in a talk. Honestly, it’s different for each person.

Too often we focus on what we want to do in the next day, week or month and then make a decision based on that. Let me frame it a different way for you: What kind of person do you want to become in the next month? In the next half year? One year from now, who do you want to be?

Will this involve doing something? Yes, but it changes the context.

For example, if a year from now you want to be closer to Jesus than you are today, a stronger disciple, then you will make the choice to say yes to community, yes to serving in your church, yes to reading your Bible, and yes to inviting people to church. That will then determine what you say no to.

Often we hope that something will happen. We will simply become kinder, more generous, thinner or smarter without putting in the work or even be willing to make a choice towards something. If you want to become a person who is known for ________, then you will have to make decisions for that to happen. A wish and a hope are not enough.

How to figure out God’s will for your life.

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Take your marriage or another relationship. What if six months from now that relationship was stronger? It would mean that what you are doing right now would have to change. You would need to make more of an effort, you would have to say yes to giving time and energy to that relationship and saying no to something else (ie. golfing, sleeping in, working too late).

We often think we have no power over where our life goes, what our marriage becomes, the relationship we have with God or how kind we are. Yet we do. Every day we make decisions that get our life somewhere.

Here’s the problem: we never sit down to ask, Where do I want to end up?

How to figure out God’s calling in your life.

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Your Personal Growth Plan (Or How You Will Get Better)

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If you want to grow at anything, learn more about something or simply improve an area of your life, you need a plan.

It doesn’t just happen.

You don’t just happen to lose weight, get out of debt or learn a language.

Every year, I choose an area of my life or leadership that I want to grow in. I think one of the reasons we don’t grow in life is we pick too many things to grow in at a time.

To grow in life, pick 1 thing to improve, not 5.

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In years past I’ve worked on my prayer life, communication in my marriage, raising kids, preaching, team building and hiring. Now, this doesn’t mean you spend one year on something and you have it figured out.

It means, picking an area of your life that if you could learn more, grow more, it would make an enormous impact and put energy and effort into that area.

For me, this means finding books, blogs, podcasts, talking to people who I respect who are experts in that area and putting a concerted effort to grow in that.

I’m such a believer in this, it is required for all our staff and leaders at Revolution Church, so I hope you’ll do it this year as well.

Here’s how you create your plan:

  1. Decide. What is your one thing? Marriage, money, career, prayer, reading your bible, preaching, parenting, communication? You have to pick one thing. If you have two, save the other one for next year. Choose the one that will make the biggest impact in your life this year. I know this is hard, but being ruthless about only choosing one thing will help. 
    To grow this year, pick only one area to grow in.

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  2. Choose books and mentors. Purchase some books, find some blogs and people you respect who know more than you. Ask them to mentor you in this area.
  3. Share it with someone. This is the accountability stage. If you don’t create accountability, the chances of you succeeding go way down. Share it online, with a group, a friend, a spouse. Accountability is good, because remember, you want to grow and improve. Ask for help.
  4. Do it again. Once you complete the year, celebrate and choose the next thing.

Every year is an opportunity to grow, don’t settle.

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