As I have been working ahead and preparing for sermons this coming spring at Revolution, one of the books I read for our man series called Fight is the book, Finally Free: Fighting for Purity with the Power of Grace (kindle version) by Heath Lambert is easily the most helpful, grace filled, gospel centered book on fighting temptation, pornography addiction and lust.
Here is one thing that sets this book apart:
This book is not about pornography. This book is not about the pornography industry. This book is not about the catastrophic effects of pornography. The purpose of this book is not to rewire your brain when it comes to pornography. This book is about something much better than pornography. This book is about the amazing power of Jesus Christ to free you from pornography.
What follows are 8 strategies the power of the gospel gives you to fight pornography: using sorrow, accountability, radical measures, confession, your spouse (or singleness), humility, gratitude, and a dynamic relationship with Jesus.
One of the things Lambert said that really stuck out to me is that humility is one of the best tools to fighting porn addiction (or any addiction). Addiction is an issue of a prideful heart.
Here are some things I highlighted:
- Jesus Christ died to set you free from every sin that can be committed. That includes pornography.
- When you believe in God’s grab towards you, you get God’s righteousness.
- God’s grace pardons you and forgives your sin, and God’s grace empowers you to live differently and be obedient to him.
- The first step in repentance is talk to God and tell him about your sin.
- Mental punishments are not helpful because they deal with sin in a self-centered way instead of a Christ-centered way.
- Jesus’ grace to change you is stronger than pornography’s power to destroy you.
- Worldly sorrow is sad over losing the things of the world, while the focus of godly sorrow is God himself. Godly sorrow is pained over the break in relationship with God. It is heartbroken that God has been grieved and offended. The tears of godly sorrow flow from the sadness that God’s loving and holy law has been broken.
- The person full of godly sorrow has a heart that wants to please God rather than self. Godly sorrow motivates real and lasting change.
- Godly sorrow hates the sin itself. Godly sorrow feels the horror of disobedience and weeps over the reality of a heart that chose transgression over faithfulness.
- To find freedom from pornography, you will need to employ radical measures in at least three areas. You look at porn when you have the desire to see it, when you have the time to look at it, and when it is available to you. Nobody looks at pornography without all three of these elements coming together. In your fight to be free from pornography, you must learn to take radical steps to eliminate each one.
- The Bible promises that there is no prosperity for those who cover up their sin.
- The circle of your confession should be as broad as the circle of your sin.
- You can never stop thinking about something by trying to not to think about it. If you want to get something out of your mind, you must begin thinking about something else.
- God wants to change your thinking, not by having us focus on the things we’re trying to quit thinking about, but by replacing old, sinful thoughts with new, righteous thoughts.
- God wants you to quit thinking about porn and start thinking about your wife.
- Whenever your thoughts begin to drift toward porn, see this mental drift as an alarm reminding you to pray for grace to refocus your thoughts on your spouse.
- If you look at pornography, you are arrogant.
- Every bad thing you do flows from an arrogant heart that is selfishly ambitious.
- Men look at pornography out of an arrogant desire to see women in a way that God does not allow. They show arrogant defiance to God’s commands, rejecting the delight of sexual intimacy in marriage and deciding for themselves what they believe is better – looking at naked women in porn. They show arrogant disregard for God’s call to selfless marital love. They show arrogant derision for the female actresses whom they should be seeking to respect as who women who need to hear the good news of Jesus. They show arrogant disdain for their own children by hiding their sin and inviting the enemy into their home and their marriage. They show arrogant disrespect toward all those who would be scandalized if their sin was known. The root problem with men who look at porn is not neediness – it is arrogance.
- Men who struggle with pornography often see pornography as their only sin.
- If you struggle with porn, one of your greatest needs is to grow in the grace of gratitude.
- Porn is only consumed by thankless people.
- Porn is the trading of gratitude for greed. Porn trades joy in the reality God has graced you with for greed in the counterfeit world he has not. Defeating porn requires a grateful consideration of God’s good gifts to you.
- You should not seek a dynamic relationship with Jesus because you want to be finished with porn. You should not seek a dynamic relationship with Jesus for any purpose other than knowing Jesus.
- Your struggle isn’t just to avoid looking at porn. It’s much more glorious than that. You have the unspeakable privilege of being invited to have a real relationship with the Savior of your soul who alone has the Father’s seal of approval.
- You cannot look at Jesus and look at porn at the same time. You have to stop doing one to do the other. A living, breathing relationship with the Savior of the world will drive porn out of your life quicker than anything else.
When it comes to recommendation for men and women fighting lust, temptation, porn addiction, this is the first book I will recommend to them.
Every Saturday I share a review of a book I’ve read recently. If you want to see some of the past books I’ve reviewed, go here.