Last night, one of our next steps was to challenge our church to participate in the 30 day intimacy challenge. I wanted to take a minute to explain what it is, what we are challenging you to do and how to participate in it.
The 30 day intimacy challenge was originally developed by Relevant Church in Tampa, FL. The idea is to create a challenge that would move married couples to higher levels of intimacy while at the same time challenging those that are not married (single, dating, engaged) to higher levels of purity and integrity.
So here is the challenge.
If you are married, to do the 30 day devotional guide with your spouse everyday and have sex everyday for the next 30 days.
If you are not married, to abstain from all things sexual for the next 30 days. Self love, porn, oral sex, sex, fill in the blank for the next 30 days and while you are doing that, go through the devotional guide.
What do you do if you are engaged or dating? Do the singles guide because until you are actually married, you aren’t married. For more on the ways we make it okay to have sex outside of marriage, you can listen to tonight’s talk.
Now, how do you do this?
The reality is that one of the main reasons many marriages end or are unhappy is because of their sexual relationship. Many of the problems that couples experience begin before they get married and often, before they even meet the person they are married to.
If you are a couple that has lost some ground in your sexual relationship, are on the edge of adultery, dealing with sexual addiction, need to spice up your relationship or want to raise the level of your sexual relationship, then this is definitely for you.
If you are not married and are struggling with not having sex, you are struggling to keep good boundaries, struggling with sexual addiction, then this is something you should definitely do. This will help to create good boundaries, while at the same time working through the issues that sex outside of marriage brings about.
Here is a great way to know you should do it, if you don’t want to. That is the clearest sign that you need to do this as a couple or individual.
We have been talking about it for weeks and it is finally here: The Vow starts this Saturday night!
For the next 4 weeks we are going to look at what the Bible has to say about being a man, a woman, how our past (and the past of our parents) keeps us from moving forward, and how to protect your marriage (and your heart, mind and body if you are single).
I believe this is going to be one of the most powerful and eye opening series we have ever done at Revolution. We will also be interspersing some live Q&A throughout the series.
This week, to kick it off, we will look at what the Bible has to say about biblical manhood. What is a man supposed to be according to the Bible? What is a man supposed to be according to our culture? How are they different? Which one do we often default to in our daily lives? The more and more I read about this topic, the more I see what the Bible calls men and women to is drastically different than what our culture does, and this is one of the biggest problems in our culture and relationships.
No one knows what they are supposed to be like.
What Katie and I meet with people and couples, many of the problems in their lives stem from not being sure what their identity is supposed to be. Many people think men should be overgrown boys (no job, playing video games all night), weaklings who let women run them, or chauvinists. I’m not kidding, but an article I read in a well known magazine said those are the 3 choices for men in our culture. The Bible gives a very different picture of manhood.
In addition to this, on Saturday we will then ask the question, “If the Bible says about men is true, what does that mean for women?”
Believe me when I say, you don’t want to miss a week of The Vow and you want to bring someone with you. I have been hearing from Revolutionaries all week about friends, neighbors and co-workers they have invited. Katie and I have been handing out invite cards for several weeks now. An easy way to invite someone is to send them an e-vite.
Remember, we meet at 4:15 & 6pm at 6620 E 22nd St.
Don’t forget to mark your calendars for our Vision Night on August 25th. This is an incredibly important night in the life of our church as we look towards the future and what God is calling us to. For a preview, go here and here.
See you Saturday.
- 15 Ways to Destroy Your Marriage
- 15 Ways to Improve Your Marriage
- Book Recommendations for Dealing with Baggage, Hurt and Relational Pain
- How You Know You are Slacking Off
- Book Recommendations for Dealing with Porn, Sexual Addiction, and Adultery
- Boundaries in Dating & Marriage
- Adultery Ladder
- “When we Get Married, He/She Will _______”
- Spiritual Warfare, 30 Day Sex Challenge, & You
- 16 Ways Not to Fight
- Book Recommendations for Dealing with Questions about Divorce and Remarriage
- Is Love a Choice or a Feeling (And Why it Matters)
- Looking for Love
- How a Wife Handles Her Husband’s Sexual Addiction
- Book Recommendations for Dealing with Emotional & Physical Needs
- Her Needs: Affection
- Her Needs: Conversation
- Her Needs: Honesty & Openness
- Her Needs: Financial Support
- Her Needs: Family Commitment
- Book Recomendations for Roles, Male Headship & Submission
- Why Male Headship Does Not Work in Homes (The Misreadings of Ephesians 5)
- 25 Ways to be a Servant-Leader
- Recommended Resources from I Want a New Marriage Series
- His Needs, Her Needs
This is really helpful stuff from C.J. Mahaney. Ladies, pay attention to what your looks say about you, your character, your heart and your expectations for men.
Everyday, I’ll be posting the 30 day sex challenge guides, both married and singles. Here is day 5:
Some call it the “MRS degree” or “getting the fish in the boat.” All too often we become different people after we get married. Physical attractiveness and hygiene still matters.
What elements of appearance have been overlooked on your part?
What do you think your spouse is going to say?
Read Song of Songs 1:1 – 2:7
Journal your answers to these questions, any thoughts from the passage and what you are praying for.