Category Archives: Healthy Leadership

But what do I love when I love you? Not the beauty of any body or the rhythm of time in its movement; not the radiance of light, so dear to our eyes; not the sweet melodies in the world of manifold sounds; not the perfume of flowers, ointments and spices; not manna and not honey; not the limbs so delightful to the body’s embrace: it is none of these things that I love when I love my God.

And yet when I love my God I do indeed love a light and a sound and a perfume and a food and an embrace—a light and sound and perfume and food and embrace in my inward self. There my soul is flooded with a radiance which no space can contain; there a music sounds which time never bears away; there I smell a perfume which no wind disperses; there I taste a food that no surfeit embitters; there is an embrace which no satiety severs. It is this that I love when I love my God.

Augustine
Confessions 10.6.8
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Why a Pastor Should Work Ahead (And How to do It)

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Work Ahead

Most pastors, because of all that is on their plates have this revolving conversation in their head: It is Monday, they are tired and worn down and they don’t know what they are going to preach on this coming Sunday.

They start scouring the internet to see what their favorite megachurch pastor is preaching on or they read a book in hopes of finding some kind of inspiration or story to steal, or they read their Bible in hopes that God will speak to them and show them their sermon.

Not all pastors are like this, but sadly, many are.

There is another way: work ahead. 

Why a Pastor Should Work Ahead on a Sermon (And How to do It)

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By working ahead, you are prepared for what is coming up, your sermons are not last minute. In fact, I just had two pastors tell me they spend 8 hours Saturday night working on their sermons. 8 hours! That’s crazy.

Every pastor wants to work ahead and when we hear pastors say that they have their next 3 sermons written, a part of seethes in anger.

While I don’t work like that, I write the sermon I’m going to preach on Sunday leading up to Sunday, I can tell you what I am planning to preach on for the next 12 months.

One of the biggest benefits to this is how it helps you to research. By knowing the topics I will cover over the coming year, when I read a blog or article that connects with that, I’m able to save it into Evernote.

But how do you work ahead? How do you know what you are going to preach on for the next 12 months? Here are some ways I’ve learned to do it:

  1. Write out books of the Bible or topics you’d like to cover. Don’t underestimate your passion for a topic or books of the Bible. Often, the next series you should do is one you are passionate about. What is God saying to you right now? How are you growing personally? Can you make that into a series? Is there a book of the Bible speaking to you right now?
  2. Ask your church, staff, and elders for suggestions. On a yearly basis, I ask for input. Granted some people give me input throughout the year and when they do, I add it to my growing list. A pastor should always have a running list of possible series or sermons they are thinking about. Often, the questions that come up in counseling or conversations lead to great sermon series as well.
  3. Get away for some solitude. When I finally decide what I’m going to preach on, I get away. I pray through the books that have been on my heart, topics that are bouncing around in my head and things others have said to me. I often do this in the summer time to lay out the following year. So, this past summer I was laying out 2015.
  4. Map out the series for 12 months. To effectively work ahead on prep, research, and creativity, I find a year a good standard to be working from. I am always amazed when I am reading a book that has nothing to do with a sermon topic and I find a great quote that I can use in 8 months. This saves so much time the week I work on the actual sermon. In fact, just this past week I landed on my big idea for a sermon I’ll preach in 9 months.
  5. Create Evernote folders. Evernote is something every pastor should know and use often. If you are unfamiliar with it, here are two resources I’d recommend: Evernote Essentials: The Definitive Guide for New Evernote Users and A Guide to Evernote for Pastors. I have a folder for different topics: leadership, gay marriage, marriage, dating, eating, health, divorce, parenting, schedule, pace, etc. I also have one for each book of the Bible, whether I am planning to preach through it soon or not. When I’m reading a blog or article online I simply use the Evernote shortcut for Chrome and send it to the correct folder.
Stop waiting til the last minute on your sermon

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I can’t tell you the benefits of this. I am never wondering “what am I going to say this coming week” which drastically lowers my stress level and raises the quality of a sermon because whenever I preach, it has been in preparation for a year.

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When a Sermon Bombs

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What do you do if a sermon bombs? How do you know if a sermon bombed?

Most pastors know the feeling. If you attend church on a regular basis, you have heard some duds as well. I know the truth that God can use the worst sermons and inexperienced speakers and how God will do whatever He wants to do. The reality is, many of the failings within a sermon though are avoidable.

There are many reasons a sermon bombs, but here are 4:

  1. There was a disconnect between the pastor and the congregation. Often the reason for a sermon not going over well is the disconnect between a pastor and his church. This might be because a pastor doesn’t know his congregation, their struggles, their questions or the pastor is so disconnected from the real world and stuck in the church world that he doesn’t understand their needs. This is why it is important for a pastor to not just hang out with pastors, not just read blogs by pastors, but be in the lives of a real church. The reason many pastors don’t do this is because pastors don’t make good friends, but this is a detriment for pastors.
  2. Sometimes it bombs because the pastor was not prepared. Someone pays the price for a sermon, the pastor in his study or the church for having to listen to it. Often when a sermon fails it is because the pastor was lazy, didn’t work on his research, isn’t prayed up, didn’t confess sin and has decided to preach someone else’s sermon or an old sermon. Do the hard work of a sermon. Don’t be lazy, you are preaching the word of God.
  3. Sometimes a sermon bombs because of sin in the pastor’s life. Often the disconnect happens in the heart of a pastor. An argument with his wife, unconfessed sin in his heart, pride. When this happens, there is a barrier between the pastor and God which is felt in his sermon.
  4. Sometimes a sermon bombs because God wants to sanctify someone. This is the hardest one for me because this can and will happen when a pastors works hard, does the work during the week, confesses his sin, seeks to live a holy life, know his church and serve them well and drives home on a Sunday knowing it tanked.

While there are other reasons sermons bomb and maybe even more spiritual reasons than this. These are the four most common I’ve encountered. The reality is that when it comes to preaching, most of it is out of a pastor’s control. There is some that he can control based off his preparation during the week in his study and with people, the rest is up to God.

When a sermon bombs, you can hang it up. You can get angry. Or, you can look at your life and heart. Don’t blame your church for your laziness. Don’t blame anyone for your hard heart or not confessing your sin. That’s on you. Do ask God to move and work. He will do so without you asking, but He tells us to ask. So ask.

Then remember whenever a sermon bombs, you get to preach again in 7 days.

What to do When a Sermon Bombs

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How to Succeed at (Almost) Anything

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It is easy to look at successful people or anyone who has reached a goal and get smug. We think about the things that went their way, the success that just fell into their laps or how your life is so much harder than their life.

And who knows, maybe that is true.

Maybe it is easier for someone else to lose weight than it is for you. Maybe someone was born into a wealthier family and had things given to them you never got close to. Maybe school came easier for someone than it does for you.

Church planters and pastors do this. When you meet someone who has a larger or faster growing church, you immediately wonder how the deck got stacked in their favor. Maybe they had more funding, got a larger launch team from a partner church or they were someone who is well known in an area.

Sometimes, that is true and sometimes it isn’t.

There is a secret to succeeding at almost anything.

Ready?

Small wins.

The path to success is paved with small wins. -Bob Sutton

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Anyone who succeeds at something, take your pick on what it is, has done several things, several right things in a row.

They talk about this in debt seminars, weight loss seminars and addiction seminars. Get a small win. Pay off a credit card. Lose 5 pounds, cut soda out of your diet for a week. Quit smoking for a day. Anything. Just get a win.

We do this in relationships as well. We think of something big that will make a big impact on our marriage, with our kids or in community. We make a commitment and then fail. Much like the person wanting to lose weight does when they don’t wake up at 4am to run. Start small. Don’t shoot for the moon on your first step, focus on something you can do.

Growing churches focus on this.

Get a win. Someone accepts Jesus, joins a small group or MC, gets baptized, starts serving, start a new service. A win. Something moving in the right direction. When it does a moment happens and it is a moment that all success is built on: momentum.

Instead of focusing on how to lose 100 pounds, get rid of $20,000 in debt, or how to grow a church to 1,000. Focus on the next step. It is important to have an eventual goal in mind, but it is more important to have your first step.

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Enjoying Life (and Ministry)

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acts 29

Even if you are optimistic and not a pessimist, like me, you probably have a hard time enjoying life.

We are so programmed to expect things to fall apart or go wrong. Leaders are programmed to always be working, thinking about the next hill, the next program, next sale, the next thing that will change everything.

That in the midst of that, we miss enjoying life.

I was asked by some pastors recently how they could pray for me and I responded, “That I would enjoy the season I am in.”

Too often, I’ve found myself looking back or looking ahead and not enjoying where I am. To stop thinking about the next series, new growth, new staff member, next conversation or project and just enjoy something.

When you start a church or a business, you are in put your head down and get it done mode. When it starts to work, it is easy to stay in that mode out of fear it will stop or because you don’t know anything else.

Yet, some times you need to stop so you can enjoy something.

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Stop Being Letdown

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Relationships. At work. Your kids school. Your career. Education. Body.

All of us have been letdown.

All of us have let people down.

And it will happen again.

In the midst of all this gloom, it is avoidable to not be letdown.

You could take the easy way out and have no expectations of people and simply expect to be letdown. If you do this though, you will miss the chance for relationships, community and enjoying life. You’ll simply walk around waiting for the other shoe to drop, which will keep you from trusting and ultimately, living.

A better way is to clarify and evaluate expectations.

Here’s what I mean. If you are a boss, do the people who work for you know what is expected of them? Do they know the win for your team and organization? If not, you will be letdown at some point because you are evaluating them on a scale they are unaware of.

What about relationships?

This is where most of our disappointment and letdown lies, especially if you are married.

Most married couples can tell you what they expect of their spouse, chores, reactions, attention, etc. Yet, most couples have never told each other what those are. They walk around us a smug silence, pointing out in their heads how disappointed they are and then they return the favor. A cycle simply continues until you get to the place where you can’t take it anymore, resign yourself to the fact that this is as good as it gets or worse.

What if, you began clarifying your expectations in all walks of your life? What if you told the people you work with, have a relationship with, your expectations? What if your kids knew instead of you just getting frustrated? What if your spouse or employees knew?

What if you work for someone and they are frustrating you? Have a conversation, let them know what would be best for you.

Will this always work? No, but then at least you’ll know. But as long as you don’t tell them, you are saying no for them and that rarely works out.

Until it’s been clarified, we don’t have a right to be mad at the person who doesn’t meet our expectations.

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Why God Might be Silent

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I often hear people lament (and have even thought it myself), “I read my bible and don’t get anything out of it.” Or, “I try to pray, but nothing happens.” Or, “I want to hear God speak, but I don’t hear anything, he’s just silent.”

I wonder if the reason God is silent is not because God doesn’t have things to show us or teach us but because we haven’t learned and applied what He’s already told us.

The reason God is silent is…

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Think about the last area of your life or heart that God was working on, the last thing you were convicted about.

Do you have it?

Where are you in making those changes? If you made a commitment to do something, has that happened?

It isn’t that God is silent, I believe it is often that we struggle to handle what God has already given to us that we can’t handle more.

I believe that the reason God often seems silent is for our protection. It would overwhelm us.

Is that frustrating?

Yes for the simple reason, we want God to speak because we often don’t want to do or apply what He has already given to us.

We don’t want to let go of something, forgive someone, be more generous, slow down or open up in community. So, we look for something else to do. Something a little less uncomfortable or easier.

And God goes silent.

I believe, waiting for us to apply, learn and do, what He has already given to us or called us to.

The next time God seems silent ask, “Is there something I haven’t fully learned or applied that is keeping me from hearing God?”

The next time God seems silent ask…

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How to Build a Team

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If you are a leader, one of the most important things you will ever do will have to do with the team you build around yourself. It doesn’t matter if you are paid, volunteer, if you work at a church or in a for-profit, your team will determine the success you will have.

Your team will determine the success you will have.

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The question then becomes, how do you build a team that not only works well with you, that you will work well with, but will also help you accomplish the goals you have as a leader?

Before getting to those things, let me tell you two truths you have to know up front about being on a team:

  1. Being on a team can be and will be one of the most rewarding aspects of ministry and life.
  2. Being on a team can be and will be one of the most painful aspects of ministry and life.

My hope for you is that you will experience the truth of number one. Here’s how:

1. Know yourself first. I’m amazed at how few leaders and pastors are self aware. Most don’t know the gift mix, personality type and how that affects their leadership. One of the most surprising things many leaders do when they build a team is simply filling roles without any thought to who they are as a leader. Are you organized? Creative? Black and White? Extrovert? Introvert? This is basic stuff but if you miss this, you will build the wrong team, you will build a team you don’t need.

2. Build around your strengths and weaknesses. This goes with the first one and if you don’t build around your strengths and weaknesses, but simply fill roles as many pastors do (with volunteers, elders and staff), you will build a great team for someone else. Any time you hire someone, bring on a volunteer, you should ask, “What does my team need?” Recently, the church I lead hired two new staff members that would be on my leadership team. One of the things I set out from the beginning was, they both had to be highly relational. We needed to find someone who was extremely organized and strategic. Why? While we are organized as a church, we don’t have someone whose primary gifts is in that area. Thankfully, we found all that our leadership team needed and roles we had to fill.

Know yourself so you can build the team you need, not the team someone else needs

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3. Have a clear vision and win (and make sure everyone agrees). This is where teams get off track, when they start building their own empires or reaching for personal goals or visions. Many times, the win for a team or organization is unclear, when that happens, people do and spend their time on what they think they should. You start pulling on the rope in different directions.

4. Be willing for things to not get done. This is crucial to building a team and incredibly difficult. To build the right team, you may need some patience as you wait for those people to come and that means some things might not get done. Now, if they are mission critical, keep the lights on kind of thing, they need to get done. But maybe you don’t attempt something or have music the way you want or kids ministry isn’t as robust as you’d like. It is better to wait for the right person than put the wrong person in charge that you’ll have to remove.

5. Have clear rules for how the team operates. Every team has rules for engagement and how they operate. Many of them are unsaid or simply made up, but have clarity on those rules. I ask each person on my team to agree to three things, three promises I make to them and promises I ask them to make to me and the other members of the team:

  1. Always make everyone on the team look good.
  2. Never surprise anyone on the team.
  3. Always have each other’s backs.

If things are agreed upon at the beginning, it creates accountability and keeps a lot of hurt and frustration from happening. Which leads to the last one…

6. Be accountable. You must have a plan for how you will hold your team accountable. Recently, we began implementing an annual plan. This not only helps me know the vision and goals of everyone on my team, it creates accountability from me, but also with the entire team. Each month, we will go over our plans, see where we are and how things are going.

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How to Leave Well

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At some point, you will leave the role that you have and move onto something different. That something different might be staying at home with kids, a new job or retiring.

Often, especially in the church world, leaving well is not something that is done often. Pastors don’t know how to handle leaders who leave and when you leave, it can be difficult to navigate that moment. I’ve written before about how a church should handle a leader who leaves, but today I want to talk about what you should do when you are leaving.

  1. Your last day is all people will remember. Most people don’t believe this one, but your last day is largely what people remember about you. They remember how you treated someone or what you said. No matter how long you are at a church or what you did, the majority of what they will remember and talk about is what happened on your last day.
  2. Tell your immediate supervisor first. When you decide to leave, the first person you should tell at your church is the person you work under. If you’re the lead pastor, tell the elders. You should not tell a trusted friend before your supervisor. Your supervisor will be a large part of deciding how the transition goes, your severance if applicable and how it gets communicated. You want them on your side. Also, this helps the church to keep moving. Fast transitions work well in the business world, but church is all about relationships and that takes a little longer to work through and transition well.
  3. Tell them as soon as possible. This is dicey and many people will tell their supervisor after they decide to leave. I think that is shortsighted and shows a lack of trust. Now, my word of caution is every pastor does not think like this, but I think you should allow your supervisor to walk with you and pray with you through this transition as you seek to see if God is leading you somewhere else. While some will struggle to hear you think God might be calling you somewhere else, I think it shows kingdom mindedness if you pray through it together.
  4. Be honest, but make sure you are building up the church you are leaving. If you are leaving because of a disagreement, everyone doesn’t need to know. You won’t be inauthentic if you don’t tell the whole story. Remember, the first one, that’s all people remember. So, if you leave throwing rocks, that’s your legacy. When the announcement is made, it isn’t up to you what is said publicly.
  5. If it is not a good separation, stay above the fray. There is a desire whenever a parting happens, whether in a job or relationship, to get our side of the story out. To get people on our side. Church is notorious for this because ministry is so personal and working relationships are so personal. When someone leaves a church, whether a staff member or someone who simply attends, our first desire is for people to know why we are leaving and get people on our side. This is being divisive, not building up. This only gets at our desire for retribution, not reconciliation or moving forward.
  6. The moment you say you are leaving, it is no longer about you. Many times a staff member leaves a church and wants people to cry, be upset, talk about all they did. This is pride. The church is moving forward and so are you.
  7. Help people process. You are excited because God is moving you somewhere else or you are getting freed from a job you hated. Either way, you aren’t sad because you are leaving. Others are. They will miss you, it won’t be the same. Before you go there mentally, help them process it. Also, the people in your church will not be as upset as you are if the leaving isn’t mutual. They will not understand why you are leaving or the emotions you have about it. Don’t pull them into your sin.
  8. You might need the church or pastor you’re leaving. Often, when someone leaves a ministry, they say things they shouldn’t. This is human nature and often sinful. But remember, as you leave, you never know when your path might cross with this church or pastor or elder team. You may need them down the road. Be kind. Treat them as you would want to be treated.
8 ways to leave a job well

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In the end, leaving doesn’t have to be messy. It can be a celebration of all that God has done through a person or a ministry, and what God will continue to do in that ministry after they leave, but also what that person will do in their next ministry. Churches often fail at this because they take it so personally instead of seeing how they are working together and furthering the kingdom in different parts of a city or country together.

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Leadership Means Hard Conversations

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Tough

At some point as a pastor, you will get an angry email, someone will put you down on twitter or social media. Their criticism may be completely out of left field, false and have no bearing in reality. It may be right on.

How you handle it often has very little bearing on the truth or falsehood of the criticism.

The reason is that the criticism is reality to the person making it.

Another tough conversation that happens for a pastor and leader is letting a staff member go or replacing a volunteer on a team. What often follows this decision is anger and frustration.

In that moment, you as a leader can lash out at someone and tell them they are wrong. Or, help them to see where you are coming from or try to learn from it and help them learn from it.

3 ways to handle difficult conversations

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Here are some things to keep in mind:

  1. Understand where the other person is coming from. As a leader, it is easy to get angry and not see where someone else is coming from. In our sin, we want them to only see our point of view, but our point of view is just that, ours. It isn’t even the correct point of view, it is just ours. It might be right, partially right or completely wrong. Before having a hard conversation and during it, try to see from the other side. Don’t jump to conclusions, don’t try to come up with an answer while they are talking. You may be wrong. You may have made the wrong assumptions about them before the conversation. There might be something happening in their life that has caused them to lash out, maybe there is a reason the ball got dropped on something. Often, when something is going wrong in someone’s life, they lash out at the closest authority figure in their life, and for many Christians, that is a pastor.
  2. Help them understand where you are coming from. In a hard conversation, after understanding where the other person is coming from, you need to help them understand your perspective. This is equally as hard as it will be for you to see it from their side. Maybe there is a reason for your reaction, for your distance, for the change you’ve made. If so, explain it to them. If you no longer see them because you aren’t part of a meeting anymore, explain it. If someone has outgrown their role or doesn’t have the leadership capability, tell them. Too often, leaders will simply make changes without explaining them clearly. One of the things this is most difficult in is when you have to remove a volunteer or a staff member who isn’t cutting it anymore.
  3. Help them see the big picture. This piece is what sets leaders and followers apart. Leaders are tasked with seeing the whole picture, the whole forest, followers are not. That’s okay. It is the job of a lead pastor to see how student ministry fits into the vision, how it affects kids ministry, community, worship, etc. The leaders of those areas are not tasked with thinking about how their area affects another area. It is nice if they do, but that isn’t their role. A person often does not see how a change that might be uncomfortable for them can be good for the whole church. Your job as a leader is to help someone see that. Sometimes this can be helping someone understand why they have to make an appointment to meet with you instead of just dropping by like they used to. This could mean helping a leader see why you won’t fund their idea or continuing doing something “you’ve always done.” It is difficult when this loss is personal for someone and that is why these conversations are so important.

Does this always work and end well? No and sometimes you have to prepare for those losses and see that when someone leaves angry at you, that is God protecting you and your church.

Often it does end well.

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