One of the hardest questions to wrestle with in our faith journeys is the question of evil and suffering. Why does God allow the things he does? Why doesn’t he stop wars, famines, or hurricanes? Why does he allow abuse and broken relationships? Why doesn’t he stop evil corporations or governments?

These questions aren’t new to us. They are all over Scripture. It is the question that is the center of the book of Habakkuk.

As we make our way to the end of chapter 2, God answers Habakkuk with “5 woes” to the Babylonians. These “woes” show that while God used Babylon to punish Judah, he would hold them accountable for their evil actions. But as you read through the woes, we can also see the evil in our day and age. And if we are honest, we can see the evil in our own hearts as God names each one.

Woe #1: The Woe of Money and Greed (2:6 – 8). 

Money and greed are an enormous part of evil. We see this all around us and throughout Scripture. 

Paul told Timothy in the NT that “the love of money was the root of all evil.” Money isn’t evil in and of itself, but how we view and use money can be. 

God is talking about the way the Babylonians handle money, and when money is used for evil and suffering. 

Underneath this woe about money and greed is really pride. A lot of pain and suffering comes from pride. People cheat because they think they deserve something. We hurt people with our words out of pride. We feel hurt or not good enough, so we put people down so we feel better. We are greedy; people are so greedy that we hurt others. People are oppressed, used, abused, left, and cast aside when they don’t serve a purpose.

The question we need to ask ourselves is, Where does money and greed show up as evil in your life?

Where does money and greed show up as evil in your life?
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We can talk about politics and corporations and compare them to Babylon and the evil of Habakkuk’s day pretty easily. But what about us? Are we causing any evil with our money, greed, and pride?

Woe #2: The Woe of Dishonesty and Self-Serving Behavior (2:9 – 11).

Another way to see this woe is as unjust gain.

This might seem obvious, but when we gain by lying, by not telling the whole truth, we gain by being self-serving. 

The superpowers of Habakkuk’s day did this, and so do they today, and so do we. 

This is when we want to take care of our family, to provide, but in our desire, we end up hurting people, using people, and doing wrong. This can also be when we gain money dishonestly. Like this past Thursday and Friday, when you “worked” while watching March Madness!

Underneath our actions in this area is often an “I deserve this.”

This can also be when good motives turn bad. 

This happens to all of us. 

Maybe you’ve experienced hurt because of a parent who couldn’t stop working. They said it was because they wanted to give you things, but it was their pride.

Maybe it was a spouse who couldn’t set boundaries.

This is the thinking that if you make enough money, you can keep pain and hurt from your life. Or, if you can make enough money, you will be somebody, important enough, you can make someone jealous, or get a parent to notice you.

The question we need to ask ourselves is, Are we taking any shortcuts in life? Are we being honest in all areas and all relationships?

Are we taking any shortcuts in life? Are we being honest in all areas and all relationships?
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Woe #3: The Woe of Violence (2:12 – 14). 

God denounces the splendor of the Babylonian empire because it was built on blood, corruption, and they did it all in an effort to gain their own glory.

God is calling out the people who build empires and legacies on the backs of others. That can be the wealthy over the poor, this can be about race or gender. 

But it can also be closer to home. 

How many of us have built our lives, our glory, our little empire on the tears of someone who asked us to slow down? To pay more attention? To care about something else more? How many of us have seen someone try to build their life on the hurt and tears of others?

We also have to be aware of how desensitized we have become to the violence of our world. 

Am I helping to keep violence alive, or am I working to end it?
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This doesn’t mean we turn away and pretend it isn’t happening. 

But now, because we can play Grand Theft Auto and steal a car, play a first-person shooter game, and then watch bombs explode live on TikTok, we are desensitized to the cry of violence and oppression. 

There are now whole social media accounts that are just videos of people dying or getting hurt. 

And we have to ask, “Am I helping to keep violence alive, or am I working to end it?”

Woe #4: The Woe of Hurting Others (2:15 – 17). 

This is exploitation. Degrading those around us. 

This is the person who takes joy in others’ pain. The one who laughs at others’ tears. The one who is callous to the pain of those closest to them. 

The Babylonians would get someone drunk, get them naked, and take advantage of them, degrading and disrespecting them.

This can also be when we watch someone be degraded, ridiculed, and made fun of, and do nothing. This can happen at work or school when someone is bullied, harassed, or made fun of, and we do nothing. 

This can happen when we watch porn and see someone being degraded and humiliated. 

And we tell ourselves that we do it not because we want them to be hurt but because we don’t want to join them.

For some, watching others in pain is enjoyable. 

Here is a question: Do your actions or inactions exploit anyone in any way?

Do your actions or inactions exploit anyone in any way?
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Woe #5: The Woe of Idolatry (2:18 – 20). 

An idol is not a statue you bow down to. An idol is anything you look to, anything you place your trust in to do what only God can do.

It is looking to someone to approve of you instead of God. 

It is looking to your kids, spouse, parent, or teacher for affirmation instead of to God.

It is trying to rest in your control instead of trusting in God’s control and power.

It is seeking to find pleasure and identity in sex and relationships instead of Jesus.

It is whatever you would lose that would make your life not worth living. 

That thing, that person, that dream or hope is something you have placed above Jesus. 

What idol does your life revolve around instead of Jesus?

What idol does your life revolve around instead of Jesus?
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To help you figure out what idols are lurking in your heart, click here to work through a series of questions. 

God tells Habakkuk in verse 20: But the Lord is in his holy temple; let the whole earth be silent in his presence.

God says, I see all of these things. I hear the cry of the oppressed. I see the tears of the broken. 

But I also see the evil that the Chaldeans do. He also sees the evil that we do. 

Verse 20 is crucial to this book and to the question of where God is when life hurts and why God allows suffering and evil in the world.

After saying, “I see all that the Chaldeans do. I see their sin. I see how they exploit people, harm them, and abuse them. I see it all. Justice is coming. Because I sit on my throne in my temple.”

The word temple is the same Hebrew word that the Old Testament prophet Isaiah used to describe God as a judge and the day of judgment, when everyone will stand before God and give an account of their lives.

Tim Keller, in his book Walking with God Through Pain and Suffering, said,

The biblical doctrine of judgment day, far from being a gloomy idea, enables us to live with both hope and grace. That all wrongs will be redressed. If we are not sure that there will be a final judgment, then when we are wronged, we will feel an almost irresistible compulsion to take up the sword and smite the wrongdoers. But if we know that no one will get away with anything, and that all wrongs will ultimately be redressed, then we can live in peace. Judgment day tells us that we don’t know exactly what people deserve, nor have the right to mete out punishment when we are sinners ourselves.

The post How the Justice of God Answers Pain and Suffering appeared first on JoshuaReich.org.

One of my dream jobs was to be a movie critic growing up. What a great job! To get paid to watch movies.

If you think about your favorite movie or the most iconic movies, they have many things in common. Do you know one of the things that can make or break a movie?

The soundtrack.

The right song played at just the right moment makes all the difference. 

Some soundtracks are iconic and stay with you. 

Did you know that every relationship has a tone, a soundtrack?

This tone, this soundtrack is how a relationship plays out. There is a rhythm, how things are done in every relationship we have. 

Some of them just happened to show up. You showed up in the midst of some of them, like when you get a new job or join a new friend group. Some relationships you have left because of the tone and soundtrack. 

​​When we think of tone, we immediately think of communication. Think of the words used in a conversation or even how a husband and wife talk to or argue with each other and how parents and kids talk. Or how a boss and employee interact. And how friends speak to each other at school. 

While that is part of the tone, the tone is so much bigger and more profound than that.

The tone is the atmosphere of your relationships, your marriage. It’s the feeling you have in your house or that someone feels when they come over. It’s the feeling you get when you walk into work or school. It is the attitude, the emotions of your marriage and family.

The tone is not something you decide one day to have; it is embedded. It is often decided without being discussed. Culture just happens unless we do something.

But where does it come from?

For many of us, the tone of our relationships began a long time ago, before we were even born in our Family of Origin.

How you do relationships as an adult was formed as a child.
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The tone of your marriage began a long time ago and had nothing to do with you. It started in the home you grew up in, the house your parents grew up in, the place your parents grew up in, and so on. It was passed down from generation to generation. Then, when you got married or went to college and moved out, you brought this story, this tone with you. 

Your spouse also brought theirs, if you’re married, and they collided together. You see it in small ways at the beginning in deciding how to do holiday traditions, where you will celebrate something, how you will parent your kids, how you will spend money and save.

Then, you see it in interactions: eye contact, how you speak to each other, and how you treat each other.

For girls, as teenagers and adults, how you view men and how you let them treat them is often connected to your relationship with your dad. 

For boys, the way you view women and treat them is often connected to how you watched your dad treat your mom. 

Every family has a tone, a narrative. Every relationship has a tone. It is inescapable. We often don’t think about it, though, for a simple reason. The tone and narrative we grew up with is all we know. It is how we see the world; it makes sense to us.

Every family has a tone, a narrative.
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Think for a minute:

• What was the emotional atmosphere of your home growing up?
• Were your mom and dad emotionally close or distant?
• Did either of your parents rely on you for emotional support?
• Were either of your parents detached or uninvolved in your family?
• Were you ever mistreated by verbal, physical, sexual, or emotional abuse?
• Were either of your parents alcoholics?
• In your family, what were you allowed to do or not do? What were you allowed to be or not be?
• Lastly, what is the deepest wound you suffered in your family of origin? Abandonment, abuse, addiction, walking on eggshells?

The list goes on and on.

This is the tone.

Let me give you a few examples:

• Money was tight in your family, so you saved and saved. Money was your security. The tone of life is hectic, stressful, always watching every penny. The tone of your relationships very quickly becomes one of desperation.
• One parent is an alcoholic. The tone is one of walking around quietly, silently, and not wanting to do anything to set that parent off. The other parent makes excuses. You eventually make excuses to others for that parent.
• Perfection is the name of the game. Everything must be perfect. If you aren’t perfect, at least appear perfect. Always look perfect, act perfect. If a relationship isn’t perfect, pretend it is. Eventually, you have no idea what is real or not, but perfection matters.
• Grades. Grades are the key to getting ahead. If you excel in school, you win and get attention; a good job. This carries into your career. The way to win attention is to be good at what you do. Weakness is for the people who lose. Fear of failure overwhelms you. If you feel, it shows you are inadequate.
• Never good enough. The tone of this family is that we can never win, we can never get ahead. The only people who make it is everyone else. This is almost like Eyore from Winnie the Pooh in human form. Nothing good happens to this family or in this family.

Those are just a few examples, but I could go on and on.

The point is we all have a story, a narrative we carry with us from our family of origin. 

This is the tone of our lives, the story we know, the story we tell, and the story we live. When we get married, we bring this story, this tone with us, and our spouse brings a different story and tone. Our interactions with each other are based on this.

And this is important: The tone of your relationships determines the outcome of your relationships.

The tone of your relationships determines the outcome of your relationships.
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Growing up, the tone in your family has determined a lot of your life today. It has determined how you view authority, money, sexuality, and so much more. It has shaped the way you see yourself and the world around you.

We often do our best to run from it, but it usually stays with us.

So what do we do?

Too often, we try to jump into changing something without knowing what we are trying to change.

To change anything, we must name it. We must be aware of it.

So, what was the tone or narrative of your family growing up? How has it shaped you in positive and negative ways? What wounds are you still carrying that you need to deal with? What hurts are you covering up or running from?

There is freedom on the other side of these questions, but they are difficult paths and often need to be walked with a trusted friend or a professional counselor.

The post How Your Family of Origin Affects Your Relationships appeared first on JoshuaReich.org.

Each Friday I share some posts that I’ve come across in the last week. They range in topics and sources but they are all things I’ve found interesting or helpful that I hope will be interesting and helpful to you. Here are 7 posts I came across this week that challenged my thinking or helped me as a leader, pastor, husband and father:

1. 5 Emotional Intelligence Hacks That Can Immediately Improve Your Leadership by Carey Nieuwhof
2. 10 Things I Wish I Could Say as a Pastor by Chuck Lawless
3. 4 Misleading Ways to Measure Church Health…And a Guide That Can Help by Tony Morgan
4. 10 Myths of About Being A Visionary Leader by Paul Sohn
5. 5 Ways Ministry Has Changed in 20 Years by Ron Edmondson
6. The Best 5 Books on Preaching
7. 6 Pastoral Tips for Non-Pastoral Types by Rich Birch

The post 5 Emotional Intelligence Hacks That Can Immediately Improve Your Leadership & 6 Other Posts You Should Read this Weekend appeared first on JoshuaReich.org.

One of the questions Katie and I get a lot is, “How do I get my husband to lead at home?”

How do I get my husband to lead at home?
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One of the biggest reasons men don’t lead at home is twofold: 1) They don’t think they can do it, and 2) Their wife is leading (because he isn’t and stuff has to get done), and she is very good at it.

2 reasons men don’t lead in their home.
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One thing men don’t do often is duplicate efforts. If you as a wife are leading at home, taking up the mantle of the spiritual life of your family, keeping the family on track in scheduling to make sure you aren’t overwhelmed, he won’t do it.

While Scripture calls men to lead in their homes, most women do it, and honestly most women are better suited to do it. But as I have seen over and over, and Scripture is on point with this, when we get off track from God’s way, even with gifting in the mix, it is disastrous.

So if you are doing anything you want your husband to do, stop doing it.

I remember Katie pulling me aside one time and saying, “I really want you to do _____ in our family, and right now I’m doing it. I’m going to stop doing it in hopes that you will pick it up.” I didn’t start overnight, but I was able to see the importance in something.

I think for a man to lead, he needs to drive the bus of what comes into his home in terms of TV and entertainment, protecting his family on the internet and what is taught spiritually. This does not mean he does it all. In fact, Katie does more of this than I do because she spends more time with the kids, but she looks for me to lead the charge on this.

Protect your family’s schedule. This means you need to make sure date nights and daddy dates are happening, you aren’t involved in too many things and you make sure priorities happen. (Which means if you make baseball practice and scouts more of a priority than church and community for 10 years, don’t be surprised when your kids go to college and leave church. It is not the church’s fault; the onus is on you as a man.)

Women, if your husband isn’t doing this, don’t berate him, don’t send him a link to this (unless you’ve talked about it), don’t hand him a book or tell him there are husbands doing this, so he needs to step up.

Ask God, pray for him, ask God to make him into the man God wants him to be, not the man you want him to be. And stop doing the things God has called him to do, even if that means something might not get done for a time.

Let me end with this. Men often struggle to do something they think they might not be good at, even the real risk-taking adventurous guys. They will take risks at work, but they are often scared to death about failing in front of their wife or kids. This is often the biggest barrier to a man taking the lead at home. This gives the wife a great opportunity to cheer him on and help him succeed.

A barrier to men leading at home is their fear of failure.
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Too many people do not set their spouse up to succeed. If you want your husband to take the lead at home, instead of nagging him one more time, how could you help him succeed? How could you cheer him on? What is one thing you could do to partner with him in this?

3 ways to get your husband to lead at home.
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In his book The Entrepreneur Roller Coaster: Why Now Is the Time to #Join the Ride, Darren Hardy quotes a leader:

The only constraint of a company’s (or church’s) growth and potential is the owner’s ambition. I am the constraint. The market, the opportunity, everything is there. It’s up to me to set the pace, clear the obstacles, get the resources, and create the conversations to grow the company faster. As CEO, the most important thing I manage is myself. Do that right, and everything else falls into place.

Yet, this is one of the hardest things for a leader to do, to look in the mirror.

At every stage of a church’s growth, one of the main barriers to its growth and health is the lead pastor.

What stops a church from growing is usually the pastor.
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Yes, buildings get too small, you run out of kids’ space, ministry ideas get stale, but what often happens is a church grows past how a pastor is leading.

Every time a church grows, a ministry grows, a team or staff gets larger, you need to change how you lead, what you do, and what you don’t do. If you don’t make those changes, you will find yourself treading water, and ultimately you will stunt the growth of your ministry.

If you’ve gone through the barriers of 50, 100, 200, 400 and beyond, you know this to be true. What I did when the church I lead was 100 was not what I could keep doing at 200. And now that we are moving toward 500, I’m finding that how I lead, what my hands are in and what decisions I make, are changing again.

As a leader this is painful.

When church growth hurts.
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For those connected to you as a lead pastor, this is painful and exciting.

It is painful for some because the meeting they used to have with you they will now have with someone else. The decision you used to give feedback on, someone else will give feedback on.

It is exciting because they get to lead in a way they haven’t before. Right  now I’m handing more and more decisions off to other leaders and I’m making less and less daily decisions about my church.

This is exciting for everyone involved, but it feels weird for the leader who used to be involved with more things.

Yet, for a church to grow a leader needs to get out of the way so more leaders can play and use their gifts.

The post Get out of the Way appeared first on JoshuaReich.org.

In Leadership Blindspots: How Successful Leaders Identify and Overcome the Weaknesses That Matter author Robert Bruce Shaw talks about the 3 strike rule used by Mark Ronald, former CEO of BAE Systems, Inc. The idea comes that not every decision needs to be resolved right away. Even in a fast paced environment like our culture today, you can sit on ideas.

For me, whenever someone says, “I need to know now” my response is almost always, “Well if you need to know now, the answer is no.” I don’t like to feel backed into a corner and wise decisions are rarely made in a rush.

Wise decisions are rarely made in a rush.
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According to Ronald, “any concern that affects the whole organization should be given 3 opportunities for a hearing by the leader and his or her team.” He goes on, “Each time the same issue surfaces, the individual advocating the position has a responsibility to either present new date or analysis that has not been heard before – or to cultivate further support from others who were not present or supportive in earlier discussions.”

One of the things people often do when advocating an idea is bring the same stats, data, passion, etc. to a discussion. Not new information.

According to Ronald, after 3 times though, the idea is dead in the water and not discussed again.

If you can’t get buy in from the people above you after 3 tries, you either didn’t do your homework, the organization isn’t ready for it, or the church will miss an opportunity.

If you aren’t in charge though, you can only control the data you bring in your 3 tries.

Let’s say you are not the lead pastor at your church and you bring an idea to the elders or lead pastor and they shoot it down. Instead of walking away frustrated, saying they have no idea what they are talking about or how they are irrelevant and just don’t get it. Ask them if you can do some more work on the idea and present it again. If it is a valid idea, they should say yes.

The next time you see a problem that you bring to your boss’s attention, also bring a solution with it. Your boss does not want to solve your problems, they want you to. You are the leader of your area, act like it.

A simple way to get buy in on any decision.
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• Book Notes | Hacking Leadership
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• What Makes Your Church Unique? [Book]
• The Pain of Breaking the 200 Barrier
• 4 Things a Lead Pastor Must Do

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Recently, I had the opportunity to speak at Exponential on the topic of transitioning a church with small groups to a church with Missional Communities. A few asked for some notes on it and thought I’d do a few blog posts on it.

The first step in this process is to start with why and the win of this transition. The second step is to get essential leaders on board. At this point, step 3 happens (though it is often skipped or a leader pushes through it) and that is to handle leaders who do not get on board in a loving way.

Consider this conversation I have on a regular basis as to why this step is important. The pastor or leader in charge of small groups or MC’s will call me and say, “I can’t get people in my church to get into a group or an MC.” They share their frustration and how hard they have worked and all the ways they have tried to motivate their church and nothing happens. The question I ask them after they share their story is one I know the answer to or else they wouldn’t be calling me.

It is this: is your lead pastor and elders leading an MC or in one?

The answer is always no.

This is a requirement for us at Revolution: an elder or pastor must be leading a missional community (or involved in one).

This doesn’t have to be the case at every church, but if you want people in your church to know something is a priority, leaders lead by example.

The post Leaders Lead by Example appeared first on JoshuaReich.org.

Ever wonder why you sin? What if there was a specific time that you were most likely to give in to temptation? What if you could see negative emotions, thoughts from your past, addictions you thought you were free from coming a mile away?

You can.

In his book Soul Keeping: Caring For the Most Important Part of You, John Ortberg shares this:

Psychologist Roy Baumeister has coined the term “ego depletion” to describe a level of fatigue that goes beyond mere physical tiredness. People living in this depleted condition report more tiredness and negative emotions, but those are not the only effects. Depleted people who watch a sad movie become extra sad. When facing temptations like eating chocolate chip cookies, they are more likely to give in. When faced with challenges like an especially difficult assignment at work, they are more likely to fail or turn in lower quality work. The brain area that’s crucial for self-control (the Anterior Cingulate Cortex) actually experiences a slowdown.

The reality is, you and I sin at specific times. Those times are most likely going to be when we are tired, worn down, exhausted. For a pastor, that is most likely on a Sunday night or on a Monday. We are tired at other times, but follow me.

When are you most tired? What time during the day do you feel the weakest in terms of your will to fight sin and temptation?

Let me apply this to pastors and help you understand why this as. I’ve learned while pastors are good at helping others fight sin in their lives, we tend to lack self-awareness.

On Sunday night you have preached hard, led worship hard, sat with people, hugged them, cried with them, counseled them, prayed with them. You have gone to battle for them and with them. You have had hard meetings with people who told you they are leaving the church, that you don’t live up to their standards of things, that you don’t preach the gospel, use too much Bible, are too deep, not deep enough and your head feels like it is spinning because you can’t please them all.

If you aren’t a pastor, you have a day of the week that simply runs you down. You come home exhausted, barely able to stand, let alone think and certainly not up for fighting sin and temptation.

This is the moment we must be aware of.

Often, the reason we fall into sin is because we don’t see it as a battle, or, once we feel tempted we feel like we have already lost the fight with sin so we simply give in to it.

Don’t.

When you see that moment coming, go to sleep, hand your smartphone or table to a spouse, pick up a banana, turn off the TV. Fight the sin you are facing by removing the temptation in your moment of weakness.

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