How to Find God’s Will

God's Will

Rarely is changing the world or making an impact with your life a one person deal. While we often only see the one person who becomes known, famous or makes an impact (ie. Mother Teresa, Steve Jobs), there is a group of people standing behind and with that person.

There’s a story in the Old Testament that I’ve always loved, the life of Nehemiah. He lived around 500 B.C. and was the cupbearer to the King of Persia, the most powerful man on the planet at the time (we’ll get to why that was important in a minute).

When we think about Jerusalem being rebuilt, we think of Nehemiah, but he wasn’t the only one in the story. There were more people involved. There was Hanani who came to Nehemiah and told him that the wall was still destroyed and the temple hadn’t been rebuilt (Nehemiah 1:2 – 3). The King funded the rebuilding process and gave Nehemiah the materials he needed and the time off. Ezra the priest helped form Nehemiah’s team in the process.

Most people never change the world because they are, (1) Hanani and they only see the problems in the world instead of taking a step to change the world. (2) They never ask The King in their life who they need to pay for the vision or support it. This could be a boss, a friend or a spouse. (3) They don’t build a team; they don’t have an Ezra who helps make the vision happen.

What happens when you want to stop being Hanani and take the step to be like Nehemiah?

Here are some questions to help you:

  • Who are you? Do not underestimate your story and where you’ve come from in this. Nehemiah was the cupbearer to the King. He was the perfect person to get the money from the Persian empire to rebuild the city of Jerusalem. Imagine, Nehemiah got the support of the most powerful king in the world to rebuild Jerusalem. The thing that God has placed on your heart you are uniquely gifted, wired and in the right place to accomplish.
  • What breaks your heart? What bothers you? What stops you in your tracks? Poverty, orphans, that people don’t know Jesus, human trafficking, kids reading, fatherlessness, men leading their homes, broken marriages being restored, helping people find jobs, getting out of debt? The answer to this question will begin to show you what you need to give your life to. This doesn’t mean you will get paid to do it. You may work a job so that you can have money to fulfill this vision. Sometimes your vision and what breaks your heart will become a job, but not always.
  • What thing do you see and think, “Someone should do something about that?” This is connected to the last question, but it helps to hone in on what it is for you. Do you know the answer to that question for me? It is helping people not settle in life. I do that through coaching, writing, speaking and through leading Revolution Church. For me, I continued to see people who settled in life, were willing to live a ho-hum life instead of the life God had called them to live, and I finally said, “Enough is enough.”
  • What do you want people to thank you for at the end of your life? People will remember something about you when you die. You will walk into eternity with a story, and your story does impact eternity. If you are a parent, this starts within your home, with your kids. Discipling them, impacting them. What I have started to realize is that my legacy will be from my kids and the impact they make in the world. I’m less concerned today about what changes I make in the world and more concerned with how I prepare my kids to make changes in the world. I saw this truth play out when I was in 11th In the span of a few months, both of my grandfathers died. One lived his life to make an impact, and at his funeral people came from everywhere to pay their respects. The line for the viewing wrapped around the building of the small town he lived in in Northern Pennsylvania. People stood, cried, laughed and told stories of a man who was always there, always helped. My other grandfather, when he passed away no one told stories, no one laughed. There were tears, but it was largely from those who wished they had a relationship with him, and now the realization that they never would set in.
  • What is your plan? This is what separates the Nehemiah’s from the Hanani’s in this world. Both saw a need, but only one had a vision and a plan. Only one had the courage to take the steps to do it. This is why the in between is so important; it creates our plan. It steels our resolve to not quit, to confirm in our soul that we are in fact called to this and will give our life to this vision. Anyone can have a dream; in fact, lots of people do. Few have a plan and execute it. In chapter two, Nehemiah goes to the King with his vision and plan, and God gives him success. The King not only allows Nehemiah to go to Jerusalem to rebuild the city wall. He funds it. Think of the impossibility. Nehemiah is asking the King to pay to rebuild a foreign city that could become an enemy. Walls keep people out and protect during war.

Now, the way you change the world might mean that you are The King or Ezra in the book of Nehemiah. You may fund and support the dreams of others; you may be on the team that changes the world. You aren’t the leader out in front. Instead, you are working behind the scenes to see the world change. All are needed, all are important. All are worth giving our lives to.

How to Engage Business Leaders in Your Church

business leaders

The other day I got a question from a church planter that I hear a lot: How do I get older, more mature Christians to my church plant? How do I engage and utilize the gifts of business leaders in my church? The answers are deeply connected.

Most church plants are filled with young professionals, young families, and singles. Because of this, most church plants have a lot of energy and a lot of kids.

In every church plant there is a group that is often overlooked. If you ask every church planter what he wishes he had more of, his answer would be this group. It is older people, established people, people with wisdom to share.

For many church planters, they are entrepreneurs, driven by leadership and vision, but they struggle to make that vision come to fruition. They struggle to build systems of follow up, systems to care for people and make sure no one falls through the cracks. While they can cast a vision and tell you what their church will look like in five years, they can’t tell you how they will get from where they are to their desired destination.

Often the person who can help them is a business leader. This person may be in their 20’s or 30’s, but they will often be someone in their 50’s. Maybe they are retired or looking for an opportunity to serve and make a difference with the gifts they have.

Sadly their is one reason this person never gets to serve in the church and use their gifts, and it hurts the business leader and the church plant and the pastor: It is the fear of the pastor; it is the intimidation that a pastor feels towards a business leader or someone with organizational and administrative gifts.

Why?

Usually this leader is very high capacity; they accomplish a lot because of how gifted they are organizationally. They have years of experience, so they know how to work well with people, which makes them likable and well spoken.

All of this leads a younger church planter to decide to go it his own way and not utilize the gifts of the people in his church.

Now here is what every church planter tells me: We need more older people. We need older couples who can mentor younger couples. We need wisdom.

But what they don’t realize is they have communicated to that person, that person that they want so badly at their church, We have no place for you. 

Not on purpose, but the message has been sent loud and clear.

So what can you do? How do you turn the tide?

1. Give them something real to do. If you want older people in your church, if you want experienced business leaders to connect in your church, you must give them something real to do. Real responsibility. They have experience with budgets, decision making, systems, efficiency, communication and productivity. Tap into that. Learn from them. Ask them questions. You also need to think through responsibility below an elder level for these leaders, as all of them won’t want to do that, and you may not want them all to do that.

2. Stop trying to be the young, cool church. Yes, the target of most church plants is 20 – 40 year olds, which often means the message, sermon, communication, ministries and music are tailored to that group. You don’t need to change that to engage an empty nester, you just need to think about how to do that. Use examples in sermons that would be helpful to them. Highlight the people in your church that aren’t 20-something’s.

3. Be who you are and let go of things. As a visionary leader, if you want to engage a business leader, if you want to utilize the gifts of an older Christian, you are going to have to let go of your feelings of pride and intimidation. Often you are the reason they aren’t engaged; you have communicated you don’t need them or want them. You have made it difficult for them to use their gifts and feel needed. I know you don’t think that is the case, but it most likely is.

4. Engage them relationally & show them respect. The best way to engage older people in your church, to get business leaders onto your team and use their gifts, is to engage them relationally and show them respect. Be their friends, invite them over, spend time with them. Ask them questions, get to know them without a desire for anything else. This seems so obvious, but when an empty nester walks into a church plant they often get treated like a unicorn, and everyone mauls them, so they leave quickly.

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How we Spent our Time in Ethiopia with our Son

Many of you have asked what our time with our son was like while we were in Ethiopia. In 2 words: too short, but in actuality we spent everyday with him at the transition home, usually twice a day for a few hours in the morning and then for a few hours in the afternoon. Most of the time we were busy doing the different activities that we or another family brought to help create opportunities for bonding and occupying the time. We also spent some time with him in his classroom, watching him interact with the other children his age and just planting ourselves in his world. Here are a few pictures to show you what our time was like…

If you’d like to help us bring our son home and raise the $5,000 we still need for airfare, you can give a tax deductible gift here.

My Arms are Too Short

Last week we got an email that our sweet Mamush had conjunctivitis, so he got eye ointment, it cleared up. This week we got another email saying that he is on a round of antibiotics for pharyngitis, which according to the internet is a sore-throat. I know that it is a small thing, but can you imagine your child not feeling well and you can do NOTHING. I wish I could have brought him home last week so that my arms could hold him while he isn’t feeling well… but my arms are too short.

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In actuality, my arms are too short even for the kids under my roof. Even if I can hold them and kiss their boo-boos and tell them how much I love them, my arms are too short to save their little souls. So I do, for all of my children, the only thing that I can- I cry out to God. I don’t always pray like I want to, like my heart says I should, but that is changing and I know that a prayer can be answered if it is asked in the chaos that is my life, or in those serious times of fasting and solitude. Right now the prayers made while over my kitchen sink with the kids’ noise in the background will have to do. And I feel like God is pleased. Image

(A woman waiting to be healed at the church on top of EntotoMountain; Addis Ababa, Ethiopia)

I pray that He is pleased to heal Mamush of the discomfort that he is in, that his little heart does not lose hope as he waits for us to return, and that at our return he does not scorn us because he has felt abandoned by us. I pray that Nehemiah continues to meet developmental milestones and we are not burdened by the relationship with his Birth-mom and Birth-dad, but are able to extend grace and know our role.  My prayer for Ashton, is that He will continue to develop into a man of character and substance. For Gavin, I pray that his spirit for adventure and attention does not distract from the calling that you have on his life, that he is able to submit that to You for Your Glory. Ava’s heart is so sweet and helpful, I pray that You would protect it from the arrows of the evil one, and that she is able to grow into a strong women, who’s confidence is not in herself, but in You. Image

(Walking into the church on top of EntotoMountain; Addis Ababa, Ethiopia)

This is a great place to start praying daily for your children: http://www.inspiredtoaction.com/wp-content/uploads/kat/I2A_Prayer_Calendar.pdf

If you would like to help us complete our adoption and bring Mamush home as we travel back to Ethiopia in 5-10 weeks, you can donate here. At last count, we still need to raise $5,000.

Adoption and the Desire to Control

We are nearing the end of our adoption from Ethiopia and one of the main things I’ve learned is adoption is brutal if you have a control idol. That’s probably also true simply as a parent, but the process of adopting has brought this out even more in my life.

I get asked almost daily where things are, why haven’t you traveled yet, are you still raising money, I thought that was done ages ago. All great questions from well-meaning friends and family.

A little over a month ago we found out, after 3 and a half years, who our child in Ethiopia was. We had done rummage sales, sold coffee, asked family and friends for money, gave our last couple of tax returns to bring us to this point. This point of holding a photo of our child.

Here he is seeing our family for the first time and hearing about what his future will hold:

Judah

While this a milestone, it is not even the beginning. It is simply the next step in a long journey.

When you hold a picture of your child in your hands, the child you have been waiting for 3 years to meet, a child that lives on the other side of the world, that you can’t hold or look at or talk to is hard. It gets harder if you have kids and you try to explain to them about their new brother and they don’t understand why it is taking so long.

My favorite is when well-meaning people say, “Why is it so hard? Why don’t they just give the kids away? It shouldn’t so expensive or so long.” I agree and yet here we sit.

Right now, we are waiting to get the phone call that says, “Buy your plane tickets, your court date in Ethiopia is on this date.” And then we’ll go. We’ve been told it should happen this week, but we don’t know. Our lives go on, but they could stop at any moment. In the meantime, we wait.

The meantime, the waiting. It makes sense its on frustrating way. I started reading Jeff Goins new book, The In-Between this morning. Seemed appropriate. He says:

How we spend our days, according to Annie Dillard, is how we spend our lives. If that’s true, then I spend most of my life waiting. Waiting in the checkout line at the grocery story. Waiting to rent a movie. Waiting for the movie to end. Waiting to turn thirty. Waiting for vacation. Waiting, waiting, waiting. Life is an endless series of appointments and phone calls and procrastinated tasks that need to, but sometimes never, get done. It’s a long list of incomplete projects and broken promises that tomorrow will be better. It’s being put on hold and waiting in office lobbies and watching that stupid hourglass rotate again and again on the computer screen. It’s load times and legal processes – long, drawn-out, bureaucratic systems that leave sitting, watching the clock. Life is one big wait.

So we wait. To bring a child home we’ve never met but almost 4 years ago began praying for and planning for. Hopefully this is the week we get to meet him!

8 Ways to Know Your Reading is Too Limited

reading

I love books. This isn’t a secret if you’ve been around my blog for a long time. You can see what I’ve read recently here and read my book reviews here. When I meet other leaders and pastors, at some point what they are reading comes up. I get some funny looks from some guys about what I read, as I don’t always read books written by Christians or books from my theological stream. Which made me think about how many leaders limit themselves in their reading, much to their detriment.

So, here are 8 ways to know if you are limiting your reading.

  1. Every book you read is from your camp. There are a lot of crazy theological ideas out there, so you need to be wise about what you read. But the reality is though, you don’t know everything and you certainly don’t have the bible and every theological idea all figured out. I don’t either. It is good to read authors who believe differently than you so that you can be challenged. I disagree on almost every theological point with Rob Bell and Brian McLaren, but their writings have forced me to ask good theological questions and made me stronger for it. Now a short note, if you are new in your faith, this isn’t a good idea as you don’t have the foundation to question yet. If that’s you, ask your pastor or a respected Christian for some book recommendations.
  2. Every book you read has bible verses in them. You should read some books by authors and leaders who don’t follow Jesus. There are great leadership and living ideas in books that have no bible verses in them. You should read health books by people who think we evolved from monkeys. One of the reasons is to learn how to communicate, but also to see what people who walk through the doors of your church believe.
  3. Every book you read confirms what you already believe. This is similar to the first one, but if you put a book down and are not challenged in your faith or leadership, you wasted your time.
  4. You finish every book you start. I get asked a lot why I don’t write negative book reviews. Every book you review you say that you like is what I’ve been told. The reason? If I don’t like a book by p. 40, I put it down. Life is too short to read a book you don’t like or aren’t being challenged by. If it’s poorly written or boring or not challenging, it’s off the list. Don’t feel the need to finish every book you start or to read every chapter of a book, they may not all be relevant.
  5. Books don’t challenge your heart. Similar to point 3, but you should be challenged. You should find ways to improve your preaching, leadership skills or your faith, being a spouse or parent. If not, put it down. If a book does not put the magnifying glass up to your heart and life, it isn’t worth the time.
  6. You never read a novel. I love novels. I love novels about spies or lawyers in particular. Throughout the year, I stop my reading list and pick up a novel. Some of my favorite authors are Dan Brown, Daniel Silva, John Grisham and David Baldacci. Baldacci’s Camel Club series is still one of my favorites. Every pastor should read at least 1 novel a year just to give their brain a break.
  7. Every book you read is for a sermon. You should read books that have no application in a sermon. It also sometimes happens that you are reading a book that you discover something that will work in a sermon, that’s great too. If you are doing a series on marriage, you should be reading a book on money or grace just to keep growing in other areas.
  8. Every book you read is by a pastor. You should read books by CEO’s, bankers, doctors, trainers, money managers, scientists, not just pastors or speakers.

What would you add to the list to know if your reading list is too narrow?

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