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How to Trust God

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Ephesians 1 has to be one of the most incredible passages in the entire Bible. In that book, Paul is showing the church in Ephesus, and us, what our identity is, who we are. Many of us look for someone to name us. We want to know from an early age that we are worthwhile, that we matter, that we can be someone, that we are important.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth. -Ephesians 1:3 – 10

Ever feel like you are worthless?

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The picture here is incredible. We were orphans. Lost, destitute, hopeless.

We’ve adopted two boys, one domestically and one from Ethiopia. The moment that you meet an orphan is overwhelm- ing. I remember holding our son in Arizona when we met him.

He was two days old, weighed five pounds, and looked a little like Benjamin Button with all his wrinkles. The reality of what lay ahead for him in the state system if we didn’t adopt him was so sad to think about. No, we didn’t rescue him or save him, but we did adopt him and make him one of our family.

I remember the moment we landed in Africa to meet our son Judah. The brokenness of the country, the poverty, the smell, was overwhelming. The sense of helplessness you feel and the desire to do something, anything, is great. Judah was four when we met him and not excited about meeting us. I’m sure he had seen families come into the transition home who didn’t take kids home. He certainly saw families come and go while he stayed put. So he was unsure about who we were and if this was for real.

It took over an hour for him to even look at us. Even when we would get down on one knee to be at his eye level, he wouldn’t look at us. We spent a week with him, loving on him, playing games with him, hoping to communicate that “We love you and we are here for you.”Then one of the worst moments of our lives happened.

We had to leave.

For some reason, the policy for adopting in Africa meant we had to take two trips. I will never forget the look on his face as he began to understand that we were leaving, and in his four-year-old mind, we weren’t coming back. We tried to communicate with him through the translator, but he just looked at us with his big eyes and cried. Not a soft cry but screaming. As I carried him back to his room, he clung to my neck for dear life. As I tried to hold it together and be tough, Katie was falling apart. It was one of the worst moments of my life.

I remember getting back into the van with the other adop- tive families (we were the only ones leaving that day), and they asked how we were doing. I know they were trying to be helpful, but I wanted to shout at them. Our flight home was one of the quietest plane rides I’ve ever experienced, as Katie and I sat there completely run-down emotionally.

How do you tell a four-year-old who only knows one word in the English language (“fish,” because we brought goldfish to eat) that we are coming back? That we don’t know when—it could be four weeks or six months—but we will be back. I wanted to shout at the top of my lungs in his language, “We’re coming back.” Even as the workers tried to comfort him and tell him, he just continued crying and reaching out to us so that we would take him with us.

I remember when we got off the plane and we got to the hotel, I asked Katie if she wanted to walk around or get something to eat, and she said, “I just want to sit here and cry.”

This is the struggle we have in trusting our heavenly Father. We were all orphans before Christ. We know the feeling of being left. We know the feeling of being forgotten. We know the feeling of being looked over, of not being chosen.

This is why Paul chooses the words he does.
 God chose you. As a follower of Jesus, God chose you. When?
Before the foundations of the world, before creating anything, God chose you.
He chose you so that you could be blameless and holy before him.
“But how?” you ask. In love.

Do you know what God’s love is like?

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This love is different from the love we see in movies or read on Hallmark cards or listen to as we slow dance to a song. Love in those places is a feeling, an overwhelming, uncontrollable feeling. This is why people say things like,“You can’t choose who you love.” None of that is true. Love is not an overwhelming, uncontrollable feeling. Think for a minute, what if God loved you with that kind of love? What if God’s love for you was a feeling, where he said, “You can’t control who you love”?

God’s love, the love we are called to have for those around us and in our relationships, is a choice, followed by a feeling. God chose you in love.

For what?

Adoption, as sons (and daughters) in Christ, according to the will of God. This was and is God’s plan. This was not unexpected for God. The idea that Jesus would die in our place and rise from the dead was his plan.

Why?

Because we are sinners, because we are lost, because we are broken and can’t fix ourselves, and because we are orphans.

Every time I read through Ephesians 1, I am overwhelmed by the love of my Father in heaven. I stand in awe that he loves me as he does. That he would go to the lengths that he did to save me and give me life.

Can I trust God?

Maybe you still struggle with this question, “Can I trust you, God?” After all, when we sin, we are telling God we don’t think we can trust him. This is a question everyone has; in fact, it is the same question Abraham had in the Old Testament.

Can you trust God?

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If you’ve grown up in church, you know the story of Abraham, and our knowledge of his story kind of takes away some of the amazingness. In Genesis 12, we have this man named Abram. He all of a sudden appears in the pages of Scripture. He is out in the desert and he hears a voice. A voice he may have heard before, but maybe not. We aren’t told. This voice, God from heaven, tells him to pack up what he has and move “to a land I will show you.”

Now picture this: Abram goes home and tells his wife Sarai that they are to pack up and go to a land that this voice (God) will show them. I always wonder what that was like. If she was like most wives, she probably asked him how long he’s been hearing this voice. Has it said other things? Did it give any directions? Any hints on what lay ahead?

No, Abram would tell her. Only that we are to start walking and stop when he says.

What God does tell Abram is that he will one day be a great nation and that all the people of the world will be blessed through him. The irony of this is that Abram has no children and is seventy-five years old.

Finally, as he walks to this land, there is a fascinating promise given to Abram in Genesis 15. Time has passed, and Abram and Sarai still do not have a child. From their perspective, they are not any closer to being a great nation than when they left their home. So Abram does what we would do. He whines to God. Complains, actually.

God takes it and is incredibly patient with Abram through this entire conversation. As Abram unloads his feelings of despair, lack of faith, anger, and hurt over his desire to be a father, but yet not having this desire met (are you beginning to see the connection between not trusting God and giving in to temptation or other sins?), God tells him to look to the heavens and number the stars. Abram can’t number the stars, as there are too many of them. “So,” God tells him, “shall your offspring be.”

God doesn’t just stop there. He tells Abram what he (God) has done. What is interesting to me is that when God gives commands in Scripture, in particular the Ten Commandments in Exodus 20, before giving a command, he reminds the people of what he has done. God is about to make a covenant, a promise with Abram, but before he does, he reminds Abram of what he has done so far. He hasn’t just led him to a new place and promised him a son; he has guided, provided, and protected him and his family.

The moment of adversity is also the opportunity for faith.

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Then and only then does God give commands or make covenants. In Exodus 20, before giving Moses the law, he reminds him, “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery”(20:2). This is the foundation of the commands of God, his promise and the freedom that he provides.

In Genesis 15, after reminding Abram, he makes a covenant with Abram. We aren’t told in Scripture if Abram asked for it, but he was at least doubting and wondering if this was going to happen. He was complaining to God, as we would do. This has always been a comfort to me, that God doesn’t strike down questions in the Bible, but listens and answers them.

God tells Abram to bring him a heifer, a female goat, a ram, a turtledove, and a young pigeon. Abram did, and cut them all in half. In this time period, when two people made a covenant, they would kill the animals and cut them in half, and then they would walk through the animals, saying, “If I don’t keep my end of the covenant, may I end up like these animals.”

It was getting late and Abram fell asleep. Then God made a covenant with Abram, while he was asleep. As the sun set and it was dark, a smoking fire pot and flaming torch passed between the pieces. Abram never passed through the animals; only God did.

This is the extent to which God goes to keep his promises as our Father. He makes the promise and keeps it, even when we don’t. Even in our moments of failure, doubt, and fear, he is still strong and sure.

What God thinks of you.

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*This is an excerpt from my brand new book, Breathing Room: Stressing Less & Living More. Click on the link to purchase it.

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How to Know You’re Too Busy

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A few years ago I wrote a book called Breathing Room: Stressing Less & Living More and I’ve been asked by some people how to know if they should read the book. How do you know if you are too busy or getting tired in life? My response often is, “Well, if you are asking if you are too busy, you are probably too busy.”

But just in case, here are a few ways to know you’re too busy and need some Breathing Room:

9 ways to know you’re too busy & need some Breathing Room.

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1. What is normally easy is now hard. This is one of the first things that happens. For me it centers on preaching, sermon prep, reading leadership books. Whenever I find myself not feeling motivated in one or all of these areas, I know I am past the point of running too fast in life. To combat this, I take periodic breaks from preaching (I try to not preach more than 10 weeks in a row), and I work in books that have nothing to do with sermon prep or church ministry to give my brain a break.

You may need Breathing Room if what is normally easy all of a sudden becomes hard.

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2. Sleep is hard to come by. For many Americans, sleep is hard as it is. We go to bed too late, we don’t take enough naps, we spend too much time on technology and get worked up. I try to get to bed by 10:30. I try to not look at social media or texts after 8pm so that my brain is able to take a break. If you have to take sleeping pills, watch TV to fall asleep or find yourself going to bed at midnight or staring at the clock at midnight, you need to work on your sleep.

You may need Breathing Room if it is hard to fall asleep.

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This is counterintuitive to us because we think if we’re tired we should be able to fall asleep quickly, but that is often not the case. We have pushed ourselves so hard, our brains are not used to shutting off. We have pushed ourselves past 10pm on a regular basis, getting our “second wind,” that our body is accustomed to it. Getting back to a normal sleep pattern will take some time.

3. It is hard to get going in the morning. Some people are morning people and can’t wait to get going; others are not. I’m not a morning person. But when I find myself having a hard time getting going in the morning, needing multiple cups of coffee to stay awake or to focus, that’s a warning sign. Think about this morning: how hard was it to get out of bed? The harder it was, the closer you are to burning out.

You may need Breathing Room if it is hard to get going in the morning.

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4. You get angry fast. When you are tired, you tend to get angry fast. Your fuse is shorter with those closest to you: family, friends, and coworkers. Your reaction to situations does not match the situation. You get angry at small things or cry without knowing why.

5. You struggle to make simple decisions and find yourself paralyzed at making a choice. It is amazing how when we are tired and too busy, normal everyday decisions can become agonizing mountains that appear like we can’t get over them. Decisions become tiring and life altering. The mood swings we have when we make a decision we regret become huge mood swings. An example for me is I’ll struggle to know what to watch on TV, what I want to eat. As silly as that may sound, it is a sign I have not taken care of myself.

Are everyday decisions hard for you to make? You may need some Breathing Room.

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6. Motivation is hard to come by. It is true that you are more motivated and alert at certain parts of the day. For me it is first thing in the morning, which is why I reserve that for sermon prep and not meetings. It is when I am most creative, and I need to give that mental time to the most important part of my job: preaching. When I find that motivation not there, I know I have a problem.

7. You have impulses to eat and drink, and you struggle to control them. You may also use things to calm down. This might be food, sex, porn, exercise, drugs, smoking, alcohol. While these things calm you down, and all of these are not necessarily sins, when used to calm us down or help us relax or sleep or “take the edge off,” we have a problem. If you think, “I just need ____ to calm down or feel better,” you have a problem.

8. You think short-term instead of long-term. You can’t get past today or what is right in front of you, and you feel completely overwhelmed by it. All of the decisions you make are simply focused on right now, and you talk about “getting through the day” or “if we can just make it to bedtime” or “if only we can make it til the weekend.” What happens is this becomes our new normal, and everyday is about making it to the weekend or the next break where we simply collapse from exhaustion.

Do you live for the weekend or bedtime? You may need some Breathing Room.

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9. You don’t laugh as much or have fun. This is connected to what we’ve already said, but if you can’t remember the last time you laughed and had fun, that’s a problem. When you are tired, the last thing you have energy for is fun or community. You are more irritable and have less courage. People are draining, and the only thing you want to do is be a bump on the log and watch TV. If you are an introvert, having fun with people, especially when you are tired, feels so taxing.

*This is an excerpt from my book, Breathing Room: Stressing Less & Living More. Click on the link to purchase it.

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Risks, Faith & Being a Scaredy Cat

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We often fall into one of two categories: we are either risk averse and afraid of everything, so we are paralyzed in life. This causes us to miss the chances God wants us to take and live the life of adventure and faith He calls us to.

Or we take any risk that comes along in an effort to live life to the fullest and not miss anything, which causes us to not be very discerning and often live a life full of adventure and regrets.

Depending on which category you put yourself into or feel the most comfortable in, it is easy to say that one is more spiritual than another and exactly what God has in store and planned for every follower of Jesus. Yet on closer inspection, there is wisdom in both places.

There are times we are called to risk it all, throw caution to the wind, leave no stone unturned and leave it all on the field. To sell the farm, and hope that it turns up roses. There are also moments that wisdom calls for prudence, a slower pace, more talking with experts and people you trust and maybe ultimately waiting on a decision or missing a-once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

Is prudence or risk-taking more faithful?

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How do you know which one you should do as you face a decision or an opportunity?

Before we get to that, let’s back up.

The answer lies in a different question: What do you believe about God?

You see, if you struggle with fear and find yourself paralyzed at moments in life, you will often have a small view of God. You will see God more as a buddy buddy who is there to make you happy, protect you at all costs and do whatever you want. You will see a God who is less powerful than you are, so how can you trust Him with anything? You will also see a God who will not call you to scary things, a God who will never make you uncomfortable or contradict your thought process. God will always agree with you.

On the other side, if you are constantly pushing the envelope, then you have a risk taking God who sometimes will lack wisdom or at the least patience. You serve a God who wants it done now and can’t wait. A God of risk, a God who is ready to take off at a moment’s notice, who is often very pleased with your gut feeling or the things that will make you comfortable in that moment and meet your desires right now.

Should you take a risk or wait? How do you know?

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Ironically, both serve a God much like them and who wants them to be comfortable. The risk averse person sitting on the sideline who is never uncomfortable, and the risk taker who lives on the edge of the cliff and never has to exhibit patience or listen to anyone but their desire.

So which is right?

I don’t think one is right or wrong inasmuch as we need to identify where we often find ourselves and make sure of two things:

  1. That God is pushing us out of our comfort zone.This could mean that God is making you wait or pushing you to risk.
  2. That your choices are based on wisdom and not fear of being hurt or fear of missing something (interestingly fear drives both types of people in different ways).

I think more important than taking a risk is identifying what you believe to be true about God as you take a risk, as you think about doing something or not doing something. Is there a lie attached to it? Are you trying to win someone’s approval through it?

Often without realizing it, we fall prey to that instead of living the life God calls us to, whether that is of risk, waiting or wisdom, and sometimes both.

A simple way to know if you need to take a risk.

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Leaders are Not Whiners

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“The leader in the system is the one who is not blaming anyone.” -Ed Friedman

If you get a group of pastors together in a room, or leaders of ministry teams, you will often hear complaints. Complaints about working with certain volunteers or staff members, budget cuts, financial difficulties, recruiting or simply the pace and difficulty of ministry and leadership.

This is a good and appropriate place to share those things.

Often, though, I’ll hear pastors or ministry leaders share these same complaints with their churches or people who are not in leadership.

Bottom line, one of the things that separates leaders from non-leaders is leaders are not whiners.

Is leading hard?

Yes.

Did you sign up for it?

Yes.

Did you know leading would be this hard?

No.

Does that matter?

No.

Mainly I’ll hear leaders talk about how difficult their job is. In fact one of our staff members recently visited another church, and the lead pastor spent 20 minutes (20 minutes!) talking about how hard being a pastor was and how hard planting a church was.

Leaders are not whiners.

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Now being a pastor is hard. Starting a church is hard. Recruiting people, managing people, conflict resolution, budgets, family life and ministry life colliding are all hard.

But if you are a pastor, hear this: Your life is not harder than anyone else’s. Your job is not harder than anyone else’s. It’s just different.

Being a pastor is not the hardest job on the planet; it’s just different.

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Think for a minute about most church planters and pastors: they have lots of meetings. The people in their church don’t know if they are at Starbucks working on a message, chatting with a leader, reading a book or a blog (thanks for reading this one), working on fantasy football or taking a nap.

Is pastoring hard? Yes. Is it harder than being a plumber? No.

It’s different.

When you as a leader whine about how hard it is, your people roll their eyes and lose respect.

When you as a leader talk about how hard it is to raise money, gain support for a vision or recruit volunteers, you lose their respect. People are attracted to a vision.

Take kids’ ministry. There is always a shortage of team members in kids’ ministry. You could bemoan that fact, or you could cast a compelling vision to people: Most people begin a relationship with Jesus before they turn 18. In fact, if you think about your life, you are still feeling the effects of the choices you made before you were 18. What if you could make an impact for good in the life of a child or student? Steer them away from the mistakes you made and help them find the life God has called them to? Wouldn’t that be awesome?!

How to vision cast to potential kids’ and students’ volunteers.

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Sign me up.

We’re a portable church, so we have to set up and tear down, and no one likes that job. What if instead of complaining about it, you saw the opportunity to cast a vision: Did you know every week a guest comes to our church, and many of them come because they drove by and saw a sign? Think about how God works. That’s amazing. Not only that, when we set up chairs we don’t just set up chairs. We pray over each of those chairs as we set them up. When I put a Bible on that seat I’m praying for the person who will sit there and maybe for the first time will hear about Jesus and the life he offers. We don’t just set up chairs. We put a chair down so someone can sit down and hear about the life Jesus died and rose from the dead to give them. You can set up chairs anywhere, but we’re part of helping people hear about Jesus. Do you want to do that? I can’t think of a better way to spend my Sunday morning than praying for guests who will hear about Jesus. Can you?

Is it hard? Yes. Do people say yes when you vision cast? Not all the time.

If leadership was easy, everyone would do it.

If leadership was easy, everyone would do it.

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How to Handle Guns Blazing Awesome Guy

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If you are a pastor you have had this experience.

You meet someone new at your church on a Sunday morning, or they email about getting together and they are excited. I mean really excited. They can’t wait to jump in. They are passionate, extroverted, seemingly gifted and they have tons of experience at other churches. They know the lingo, have read the books, have been to the conferences and have the t-shirt.

They are guns blazing awesome guy (or girl).

Your first thought is, “Where has this person been? Finally!”

Be cautious with ‘guns blazing awesome guy.’

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I get it because as a leader you want people who are excited, and guns blazing awesome guy is excited. He’s excited enough for 10 people! You can only imagine how far he can move the needle in your church and the people who will follow him, and how great it will be to have someone to shoulder the load.

All that may be true, but let me throw a caution flag.

There is a reason guns blazing awesome guy is at your church and not the church he just left. And it isn’t because of doctrine or because your church is somehow better. There is often something hidden in the background, lurking. It is this that gets so many church planters and pastors in trouble.

This is why there is so much wisdom in Paul’s advice to Timothy to not be hasty in laying on hands (1 Timothy 5:22). Move slowly. Guns blazing awesome guy may turn out to be simply awesome and great for your church, or he will move on to the next church that will elevate him into leadership quickly.

Now let me talk to the guns blazing awesome guy. The guy who is gifted, ready and maybe even mature. Not all guns blazing awesome guys are bad or sinful.

Many times you jump from church to church trying to find a spot, and the reason you have to jump from church to church has nothing to do with you and everything to do with people not seeing how awesome you are.

Slow down.

I know, I know. You are 25 and not getting any younger, and you have all these ideas and energy. Yet part of being a leader is being a follower, being under authority.

I recently talked to a pastor who was interviewing pastors for a job. He said, “One guy stands head and shoulders above the rest in talent and gifts. Yet he hasn’t been in a church for more than a year, and when he has, he didn’t volunteer anywhere, and he had no reason for that. It was ‘the leaders and the culture.'” I told him it would be a mistake to hire this guy, no matter how talented he is.

If you’re awesome, be patient instead of impatient. People will notice.

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For both the leader in charge and the guns blazing awesome guy or girl, patience is in order. This is hard for both because ironically they need each other but often have different goals.

I can tell you in my years of ministry I’ve been frustrated because people didn’t see how awesome I was when I thought it. The moments I dug into that, learned and allowed myself to be teachable were the most beneficial. When I kicked up the dirt and moved on, it brought anger, hurt and bitterness. When I’ve rushed the guns blazing awesome guy or girl into leadership because, well, they were awesome, I’ve paid a hard price for it. I’ve overlooked character issues because of how talented they were and because we needed someone in that role. I’ve also moved too slowly with someone and lost them because another opportunity came along.

This isn’t an exact science, so it won’t end like that.

This is more of a caution to explore where you are right now. You may have a guns blazing awesome leader you need to slow down the process on or put a process into place. That way it is less of a feeling and more of a science as you move them into leadership. You may need to take a step back to ask why people don’t think you are as awesome as you think you are and what God might be trying to teach you in the waiting.

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Pastor’s are Chief Vision Casters

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There are a lot of things pastors have to do each week. They preach, teach, counsel, pray with, pray for, listen, fund raise, make decisions, build teams, go over budgets, look towards the future, disciple, evangelize. This list goes on and on.

Some of the things a pastor does he can and should delegate. Some things he should train others to do so they can do it either at the church or in another church one day.

Some things, regardless of gifting, he can’t give away. There is one role, that while every leader in the church does it, the pastor cannot give away.

It is a role that must be on every pastor’s job description: Chief Vision Caster.

The pastor is the Chief Vision Caster.

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Every leader in your church does this or should do this (more on that in a minute), but you are the one who starts it. You are the loudest voice.

Why?

Does this matter so much?

The answer is yes.

If you aren’t careful, your church will slowly move off course. Not theologically, but it will slowly become inward focused. It will start to become about keeping people comfortable.

You know this and know what it feels like. Vision leaks and slowly becomes blurry.

What Separates Leaders & Followers

In my opinion vision is one of the things that separates leaders and followers. Everyone can point out what needs to change, everyone has an opinion of what a church should do, who they should try to reach, what it should look like. Only a leader can take them there. Only a leader can say, “Here is where we are, there is where we should be and here’s how we’re getting there.”

A vision is a picture of a preferred future, not just a complaint about the present.

A vision is a picture of a preferred future, not just a complaint about the present.

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How to Keep Vision Clear

As I said, you can’t delegate this away. You aren’t the only vision caster in the church, but you are the chief one. You should be the clearest, and all the visions for ministries in the church are based on what the vision of the church is.

Often, though, vision becomes blurry for the leader. It can become stale; you wonder if you are reaching it, if it is worth going after. When that happens, it is blurrier for people in your church.

Remember the law of the lid: no one (outside of Jesus) will ever have a clearer vision or stronger passion for your church than you do. It is imperative you do whatever you can to keep your vision clear and white hot.

Here are some things I do:

  1. Hang around people who don’t know Jesus. This reminds you of what your church is to do. Remind yourself that you are battling for souls, not over worship styles or service times. Church becomes so petty when you forget that souls hang in the balance. Followers of Jesus become the most alive when they are living on the mission that Jesus called them on, and that includes people who don’t know Jesus. It reminds you of why you work so hard, why everything you do matters and is worthwhile.
  2. Listen to great vision casters. Not every pastor is a great vision caster, but remember, every great vision caster did not start out that way. So listen to great vision casters. Listen to men and women who cast a clear and compelling vision. You aren’t copying their vision, but it can not only teach you how to use words but it will get you excited. Your excitement for the vision is the lid of the excitement of your church, team or organization.
  3. Spend time with Jesus. This one seems obvious, but pastors need to be reminded to do what they challenge others to do. Your vision will get dim and blurry if you aren’t spending time with Jesus; if you aren’t confessing your own sin and living in the power of the cross and resurrection of the one who gave you the vision and the passion in the first place. This time will not only clarify your vision but will strengthen you for the road to accomplish that vision.
3 ways to cast a clear and compelling vision for your church.

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Why Your Sermon Gets Ignored

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Every week people all over the world sit down to listen to a sermon. Many of them are preached by godly men who want to see their sermons make an impact, pastors who care about the people who show up at their churches. Yet sermons are easily forgotten, and lives move on as if nothing happened. Opportunities are missed.

Why?

There are a variety of reasons, but here are six reasons your sermon gets ignored:

6 reasons your sermon gets ignored.

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1. You aren’t interesting. You are a boring speaker with bad stage presence, a monotone voice and you don’t have an interesting delivery or content. Is this harsh? Maybe. The reality for the people who attend your church every week is they can listen to any number of sermons online, they can check social media during your sermon, they can think about SNL the night before or what they’re going to do tomorrow. At the very least, for your sermon to not be ignored it must be interesting. You must be interesting.

Do you care about your topic? Do you have a passion for your topic? Many pastors do not have a passion for what they are preaching on, and this comes through. They are preaching because it is Sunday and that’s their job. This doesn’t happen every week, but it happens and your church knows it.

2. The passage didn’t make an impact in your life. We are interested in things that made an impact in someone’s life. We want to hear about why someone started and kept a new diet, how someone got out of debt, made a change in their marriage. We are interested in things that made an impact in someone’s life and want to know how it can make an impact in our life.

Don’t preach unless you have something to say.

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How did the passage you are preaching on make an impact in your life? How were you convicted this week as you worked on your sermon? Tell us. What changes are you making in your life because of this passage? Tell us.

3. You aren’t preaching to anyone there. This is so common and easy for pastors to miss. They preach to people who aren’t there. Many pastors and church planters preach to the podcasts they listen to or the blogs they read instead of the people filling the seats. Many sermons are over the heads of people or not applicable to where people are, but fall more in the category of things that the pastor is interested in, the latest theological book he just read or the debate raging among Ph.D. students online.

4. You are tired and unprepared. Preaching and ministry are tiring. It happens every seven days that you need to think of something to say and do it well. Yet if you preach on a regular basis, my guess is that this is one of the favorite parts of your job. This means you need to keep yourself fresh. You need to read good books that stir your soul and challenge you. You need to take breaks from preaching so that you can recharge and stay fresh. I’ve learned that 10 weeks in a row is the maximum I want to preach, and then I need a week off from preaching. This is good for my church, too, because they get to hear other communicators.

5. You didn’t tell anyone why it mattered. You didn’t have a clear next step for your sermon. Your sermon prep is not done until you can unpack how we should live in light of the passage. And don’t say, “That’s the Holy Spirit’s job.” That is lazy. While the Holy Spirit convicts and moves, he uses you as well. If it was just the Holy Spirit’s job to apply a text, you wouldn’t need to say anything at all; we could just read the text on our own and go from there.

Your sermon prep is not done until you can unpack how we should live in light of the passage.

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6. It wasn’t time for them to hear it. I’m hesitant to put this one. Not because it isn’t true, because it is, but because it is easy for pastors to use this as an excuse. When you preach, though, not everyone is ready to hear it. Most people do not take the step of change, following Jesus, etc., the first time they hear a truth. It takes multiple times. This is encouraging for us as pastors but can easily become a crutch. Sometimes the reason people aren’t hearing is because of the messenger, not the message.

Sometimes the reason people aren’t hearing a sermon is because of the messenger, not the message.

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How to Lead Up at Work

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It is easy to think that if you are not in charge or not the leader that you have no influence over what happens. Yet if you work for a good leader, he or she will want your input. They will want to hear your voice to help lead your team, church or organization.

Yet what I find when I talk with student pastors, worship pastors or those who are not in charge, they aren’t sure how to lead up.

As someone who leads a church, here are some things to keep in mind as you try to lead up to your boss:

1. Know how they communicate. While every lead pastor or boss does not have the same personality, those who rise to the top of an organization typically have similar personalities. They are often logic driven, fact oriented, and love data. Many times the people who make up the leader’s team struggle because they are focused on feelings or hunches. That is not helpful when you are trying to lead up. If you say to your boss (and he’s data driven), “I think we should do ___” and have no data to back it up, he will often disregard it. Should he/she listen to you and your feelings? It will depend on your track record and, as we’ll see in #4, what kind of employee you are.

Communicate to your boss on their terms, not yours.

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It is easy to disregard this and say that people above you should listen to you. However, it is often not possible because of your history as a worker and how your boss sees the world. Often a lack of not understanding how someone is wired keeps you from moving an idea forward.

Do you struggle to get your boss to listen to your ideas?

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2. Know how they process. Each person processes ideas differently. Some people process them out loud, some do it internally. Some want to brainstorm out loud, and others want to do it by themselves. This is crucial to getting a boss on your side for an idea. If they process alone and in their head, give them information before a meeting. Make sure they have what they need before a presentation. If they process in a meeting, this is less of a big deal.
This also gets into the territory of setting your boss up to succeed. This is often not what an employee thinks about, but if you want your boss to set you up for success, you can do the same things. This is counter intuitive, but if you want to get your boss on board with what you’d like to do, helping your boss accomplish their goals will go a long way for you.

3. Don’t back them into a corner. The worst thing you can do to your boss is walk into a meeting or their office, give them a new idea and say, “I need an answer right now.” While this can happen and be completely out of your control, often it comes from poor planning on your part. I tell our team if you tell me this my first answer will be no. I don’t want to be backed into a corner, and neither does your boss. The reason this isn’t outlandish is because I know you don’t want to be backed into a corner either.
If you back someone into a corner, they often get defensive, and it erodes the idea of being on a team and working together.

How to make your boss your enemy: Back them into a corner.

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4. Be the best employee or team member possible. While we often want our ideas to be heard simply because we are on a team, that isn’t reality. Bosses listen more to employees and team members who are great at their jobs. This is just the way it is. If you want to be heard, one of the best things you can do is be great at what you do. Be on time, work hard, get things done. If you are lazy, lethargic and not excited about your job, your boss will often listen to your ideas less, give less leeway and get behind your ideas and passions less than you’d like.

4 things your boss wants to say “Yes” to your idea.

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Your boss may be the worst person on the planet. They may not care about your goals, career or even your life. They make things miserable for you. Most bosses are not like that. Most want to work with you and help you succeed. While you focus on your career goals and where they are headed, your boss is not paid for that. He/she is paid to lead a company, church or team. This is a crucial distinction, and it is one that often leads to hurt feelings and missed opportunities. You will have to work hard to align yourself with what your boss is hoping to accomplish in order to lead up so your boss can be of help to you.

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How to Find God’s Will

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God's Will

Rarely is changing the world or making an impact with your life a one person deal. While we often only see the one person who becomes known, famous or makes an impact (ie. Mother Teresa, Steve Jobs), there is a group of people standing behind and with that person.

There’s a story in the Old Testament that I’ve always loved, the life of Nehemiah. He lived around 500 B.C. and was the cupbearer to the King of Persia, the most powerful man on the planet at the time (we’ll get to why that was important in a minute).

When we think about Jerusalem being rebuilt, we think of Nehemiah, but he wasn’t the only one in the story. There were more people involved. There was Hanani who came to Nehemiah and told him that the wall was still destroyed and the temple hadn’t been rebuilt (Nehemiah 1:2 – 3). The King funded the rebuilding process and gave Nehemiah the materials he needed and the time off. Ezra the priest helped form Nehemiah’s team in the process.

Most people never change the world because they are, (1) Hanani and they only see the problems in the world instead of taking a step to change the world. (2) They never ask The King in their life who they need to pay for the vision or support it. This could be a boss, a friend or a spouse. (3) They don’t build a team; they don’t have an Ezra who helps make the vision happen.

What happens when you want to stop being Hanani and take the step to be like Nehemiah?

Here are some questions to help you:

5 questions to help you discern God’s will for you life.

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  • Who are you? Do not underestimate your story and where you’ve come from in this. Nehemiah was the cupbearer to the King. He was the perfect person to get the money from the Persian empire to rebuild the city of Jerusalem. Imagine, Nehemiah got the support of the most powerful king in the world to rebuild Jerusalem. The thing that God has placed on your heart you are uniquely gifted, wired and in the right place to accomplish.
God has wired us and placed us in the place to fulfill his will.

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  • What breaks your heart? What bothers you? What stops you in your tracks? Poverty, orphans, that people don’t know Jesus, human trafficking, kids reading, fatherlessness, men leading their homes, broken marriages being restored, helping people find jobs, getting out of debt? The answer to this question will begin to show you what you need to give your life to. This doesn’t mean you will get paid to do it. You may work a job so that you can have money to fulfill this vision. Sometimes your vision and what breaks your heart will become a job, but not always.
  • What thing do you see and think, “Someone should do something about that?” This is connected to the last question, but it helps to hone in on what it is for you. Do you know the answer to that question for me? It is helping people not settle in life. I do that through coaching, writing, speaking and through leading Revolution Church. For me, I continued to see people who settled in life, were willing to live a ho-hum life instead of the life God had called them to live, and I finally said, “Enough is enough.”
  • What do you want people to thank you for at the end of your life? People will remember something about you when you die. You will walk into eternity with a story, and your story does impact eternity. If you are a parent, this starts within your home, with your kids. Discipling them, impacting them. What I have started to realize is that my legacy will be from my kids and the impact they make in the world. I’m less concerned today about what changes I make in the world and more concerned with how I prepare my kids to make changes in the world. I saw this truth play out when I was in 11th In the span of a few months, both of my grandfathers died. One lived his life to make an impact, and at his funeral people came from everywhere to pay their respects. The line for the viewing wrapped around the building of the small town he lived in in Northern Pennsylvania. People stood, cried, laughed and told stories of a man who was always there, always helped. My other grandfather, when he passed away no one told stories, no one laughed. There were tears, but it was largely from those who wished they had a relationship with him, and now the realization that they never would set in.
  • What is your plan? This is what separates the Nehemiah’s from the Hanani’s in this world. Both saw a need, but only one had a vision and a plan. Only one had the courage to take the steps to do it. This is why the in between is so important; it creates our plan. It steels our resolve to not quit, to confirm in our soul that we are in fact called to this and will give our life to this vision. Anyone can have a dream; in fact, lots of people do. Few have a plan and execute it. In chapter two, Nehemiah goes to the King with his vision and plan, and God gives him success. The King not only allows Nehemiah to go to Jerusalem to rebuild the city wall. He funds it. Think of the impossibility. Nehemiah is asking the King to pay to rebuild a foreign city that could become an enemy. Walls keep people out and protect during war.
If God has called you to something, he has also called you to plan for it.

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Now, the way you change the world might mean that you are The King or Ezra in the book of Nehemiah. You may fund and support the dreams of others; you may be on the team that changes the world. You aren’t the leader out in front. Instead, you are working behind the scenes to see the world change. All are needed, all are important. All are worth giving our lives to.

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4 Ways to Use a Sunday Off Strategically as a Pastor

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If you are a pastor, you have a unique role at your church. Not a harder role, just a unique one. It is often hard for someone who isn’t a pastor to understand, but when you work at a church, going to church (whether you preach, lead, lead worship or coordinate things), you are working. Even if you don’t do all of those things (say you don’t preach on a Sunday but still go to your church), you are working. You are talking with people, counseling, shepherding, intervening. You are expending energy, leadership and care. This is good. This is what you are called to do.

However the reality is, in order to have longevity in ministry and at a church, you need to have Sundays when you are off, when you are away, so that you can catch your breath to be the best leader or pastor you can be.

But how do you do that?

Here are four ways to use a Sunday off strategically:

1. Take a Sunday off. I wish I could just assume that you will take a Sunday off as a pastor, but I can’t. I know too many people on church staffs that are workaholics. Some because they choose to be, some because their elders expect them to be and some because that is the culture of their church (I worked at a church like this before). You have to decide that you will take a Sunday off. It is good for you, your family and your church.

A Sunday off is good for a pastor, his family & his church.

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The reality for some leaders is they will have to do some leading up to make this happen. This culture of seeing a Sunday off as a benefit to a pastor and a church is not seen by everyone. Every job has vacation days, and if you are in ministry, you should take every vacation day your church gives you.

2. Go to a different church. One of the best things a pastor can do is go to a different church and experience their service. This not only can be refreshing as you “feel like a normal person”, but you can learn and gain some great insights on how to improve your church. Seeing what others do, how they do elements in a service, can breathe new life into your church and leadership. If I’m not at Revolution, I always try to go to some other church. This also gives a pastor a great opportunity to sit with his wife for a whole service and not lead anything, which is a rare treat for a pastor and his wife as she normally sits alone while he preaches.

If you aren’t leading anything at your church this Sunday, go to a different church.

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3. Stay home. This may sound sacrilegious, but hear me out. One of the healthiest things you can do on a Sunday off is stay home. Have a lazy morning. Take a hike. Make breakfast for your wife in bed. Play with your kids. Sleep in if you don’t have kids. Stay home. Should you do this every time you have a Sunday off from preaching? No, but once won’t kill you.

4. Worship at your church and be as normal as possible. One thing that can be eye opening for a pastor is going to his church and trying to be as normal as possible. What I mean is, if you have one service that starts at 10am, show up at 9:59 with your kids like everyone else does and see what traffic in the parking lot is like, what check in is like for the kids’ ministry. Pastors are often oblivious to this because they get to church hours before everyone else does. We’ve made changes to our church that have been incredibly helpful because I or one of our staff didn’t come early but came when everyone else does.

4 ways to be strategic with your time off as a pastor.

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Now this idea sometimes rubs people in a church the wrong way. This is when a pastor will have to learn how to lead up to his elders and lead out in his church. The benefits to a church from a pastor using a Sunday off strategically are enormous. They get a pastor who is refreshed and a wife who doesn’t despise the fact that her husband never sits with her in church because he’s preaching (you’d be surprised at how many wives hold onto bitterness in their hearts over this). It allows a pastor to be a dad to his kids on a Sunday and a husband to his wife (as most pastor’s wives are single parents on a Sunday). It helps others get a chance to use and hone their preaching gifts, and a pastor can gain some incredible insights from how other churches do things so they can improve the ministry of their church.

If you haven’t had a Sunday off recently, do it. Put it on the calendar. Make a plan for how you will use it strategically.