There are a lot of ideas out there about how to best discipline your child. Some are good, some are not so good. I’ve shared before that one of the most important questions a parent needs to ask when they discipline their child is if they are accurately reflecting the heart of God in that moment.

6 things to remember when you discipline your child.
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Parents will often parent to something or for something. This could be getting your child to behave a certain way or do certain actions. Many Christian parents will feel like they are winning at parenting if their child goes to church, does certain things or doesn’t do certain things. The reality is, that doesn’t say anything in and of itself, only that your church does or doesn’t do things.

Some parents, especially pastors, will parent for their reputation. They’ll put pressure on their kids to act a certain way because of how it makes them look to those around them. This isn’t a win at all, but it is easy to fall into. If my child does ____, how will that make me look? If my child gets bad grades, a tattoo, parties, hangs out with the wrong crowd, how will that make me look? I understand the fear, but parenting for your reputation isn’t a healthy long term parenting strategy.

Instead, I would say to parent with the relationship in mind. Andy Stanley says, “I want to parent so when my kids leave the house one day, they want to come back.” There’s a lot of wisdom in that.

Parent for the relationship, not your reputation.
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One of the areas that many parents struggle in and has an enormous effect on what their children become is discipline. Remember, the goal of parenting is incredibly crucial not only to how you parent right now, but also to how your kids ultimately end up.

William Farley in his book Gospel-Powered Parenting: How the Gospel Shapes and Transforms Parenting lists how the gospel affects disciplining children:

1. The gospel convinces parents that indwelling sin is our children’s problem.

2. The gospel convinces parents that authority is a crucial parental issue.

3. The gospel instructs us to pursue our children’s hearts rather than their behavior.

4. The gospel motivates parents to discipline to preach the gospel to our children.

5. The gospel motivates parents to fear God.

6. The gospel helps parents to grow in humility and sincerity.

6 things to remember the next time you discipline your child.
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The other day I asked a friend why he thought leadership and being a leader is so hard. He looked at me and said, “That’s why only a few people aspire to it and only a few people ever do it.”

To cast a vision. To stand against a tide. To say that you are moving forward to a place that no one has ever been and you don’t know how you will get there, but you know you are going. That is hard.

To challenge people to become all that they can be. To withstand the criticism that comes with leadership and the misunderstanding that comes with being confident and purposeful. That is hard.

Romans 12:8 says if you have the gift of leadership you should lead with all diligence. Diligence means, “A zealous and careful nature in one’s work, a decisive work ethic, budgeting one’s time, to guard against laziness, putting forth full concentration in one’s work.”

That is leadership. That is what makes it hard. Leadership challenges. Leadership and vision divide because they say, “This is where we are going and this is what the win is, and consequently, that over there is not where we are going and that is not the win.”

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Last week we got an email that our sweet Mamush had conjunctivitis, so he got eye ointment, it cleared up. This week we got another email saying that he is on a round of antibiotics for pharyngitis, which according to the internet is a sore-throat. I know that it is a small thing, but can you imagine your child not feeling well and you can do NOTHING. I wish I could have brought him home last week so that my arms could hold him while he isn’t feeling well… but my arms are too short.

In actuality, my arms are too short even for the kids under my roof. Even if I can hold them and kiss their boo-boos and tell them how much I love them, my arms are too short to save their little souls. So I do, for all of my children, the only thing that I can- I cry out to God. I don’t always pray like I want to, like my heart says I should, but that is changing and I know that a prayer can be answered if it is asked in the chaos that is my life, or in those serious times of fasting and solitude. Right now the prayers made while over my kitchen sink with the kids’ noise in the background will have to do. And I feel like God is pleased.

(A woman waiting to be healed at the church on top of EntotoMountain; Addis Ababa, Ethiopia)

I pray that He is pleased to heal Mamush of the discomfort that he is in, that his little heart does not lose hope as he waits for us to return, and that at our return he does not scorn us because he has felt abandoned by us. I pray that Nehemiah continues to meet developmental milestones and we are not burdened by the relationship with his Birth-mom and Birth-dad, but are able to extend grace and know our role.  My prayer for Ashton, is that He will continue to develop into a man of character and substance. For Gavin, I pray that his spirit for adventure and attention does not distract from the calling that you have on his life, that he is able to submit that to You for Your Glory. Ava’s heart is so sweet and helpful, I pray that You would protect it from the arrows of the evil one, and that she is able to grow into a strong women, who’s confidence is not in herself, but in You.

(Walking into the church on top of EntotoMountain; Addis Ababa, Ethiopia)

This is a great place to start praying daily for your children: http://www.inspiredtoaction.com/wp-content/uploads/kat/I2A_Prayer_Calendar.pdf

If you would like to help us complete our adoption and bring Mamush home as we travel back to Ethiopia in 5-10 weeks, you can donate here. At last count, we still need to raise $5,000.

The post My Arms are Too Short appeared first on JoshuaReich.org.