Are You an Insecure Leader?

leader

Insecure leaders scare me.

Before I tell you why, let me tell you what an insecure leader is. An insecure leader is…

Someone who name drops. They know everyone, they know the top pastors, top worship leaders. They are always talking about who they know.

Someone whose past is greater than their present. They always talk about what they’ve done. It is always about their last ministry, church or job. The grass is greener in their past.

Someone who jumps on the latest bandwagon. They are up on the newest, greatest fad in church leadership. Each week it is a new vision for their church. This creates turbulence in a ministry because no one knows what the win is.

Someone who goes to the latest conference, reads the latest book and gets a new vision each time.

Someone who won’t stop talking about themselves. They always have a story about how great they are, why they should be on your team, how grateful Jesus should be they are a Christian and on board to build the kingdom of God. They tell story after story of their exploits.

Someone who is about building their kingdom instead of God’s. This can be difficult to detect because insecure leaders are very spiritual and manipulative. But underneath their spiritual veneer is someone who is more about people following them instead of people following Jesus.

Insecure leaders scare me because they are hard to detect. They are “wolves in sheep’s clothes.” (Matthew 7:15) They come across as together, they know the right answer, they often have a lot of biblical knowledge, but they go about things and have goals that go contrary to scripture. I often call them the guns blazing awesome guy.

So what do you do if you’re an insecure leader or you encounter one?

1. Know yourself. All of us tend to be insecure in certain areas. We struggle to believe God will use us, or we don’t want to come across as prideful about the gifts God has given to us. So we need to be honest about who we are, what we can do and what we can’t do. You aren’t insecure if you say, “I’m not as gifted at that as you are.” That’s self-awareness.

2. Have a process. One of the best ways to weed out the guns blazing awesome guy is to have a process. This process also helps to develop leaders to help them grow so they aren’t insecure. A process tells people, “You won’t be a leader here right away.” This is good for people who are unsure, to make sure they are trained. This is good for people who think they are awesome because it guards the gate.

3. Always talk to their last pastor. If a leader from another church shows up at your church singing your praises and bashing his last church, be wise. Talk to the last pastor they served with. Cover your bases.

4. Trust your gut. I could spiritualize this and say, “If the Holy Spirit tells you…”, and that might happen with someone you are considering for a leadership position. Sometimes your gut and the Holy Spirit become one and the same. Sometimes your gut is wrong, but I’m never mad when I trust my gut. If something says “wait” or “no” on someone, stick to that. You don’t always have to have a reason.

When your Church Should Move

church move

When it comes to real estate, the old cliche of location, location, location is king. Your location matters. There is a corner near my house that no matter what restaurant goes into that corner, it never survives. I’m sure you have something like that in your city.

The same is true for churches.

Location matters.

Not only in terms of space and what kind of ministry you can do, but what and who is around you.

If you attend or lead a church, I want you to think for a minute about where your church is located and who is around that location. The people who live there, are they old or young? Hipster or middle age? Are they wealthy, middle class, below the poverty line, or a mixture? Think in terms of nationality and ethnic backgrounds.

It is easy to overlook this as a church and keep humming along.

A good missionary, though, thinks about who is around them.

Now the second question: Who are you as a church and as a leader best suited to reach?

This is a hard question and can feel like you are picking and choosing who to reach (which you aren’t). You are simply asking who you are as a leader and who your church is.

Often God lines up who we are with where we are.

I have a friend who planted a church in a bilingual community where almost everyone lives below the poverty line. Why? He grew up in a community like that and understood the struggles. I have another friend who planted in one of the most suburban places in America. Why? He grew up in one of the most suburban places in America and understood the idols and struggles of that community.

Here is the tricky part: What if who you are best suited to reach is not where your church is?

This happens to older churches who watch a neighborhood change around them.

You have two options at this point: one, change things to reach those around you, or two, move to where those people and cultures live.

The question a leader and a church must answer is which path to take. Both can be right.

While this is something church planters and missionaries think through as they embark on their leadership, this is something churches and pastors must continually consider as their church grows and ages. This is being a good missionary as a leader, and as your city changes it will mean some changes to your church and maybe even some hard decisions.

Highlights from Rethink Leadership on Momentum

leadership

I’m at Rethink Leadership Conference in Atlanta, which has been like drinking from a fire hose of leadership wisdom. The second session was on momentum, which is always an elusive thing for a leader. Here are some highlights:

Geoff Surratt
  • We are on the cusp of a new way of doing church and that’s exciting.
  • Churches that are winning with Millennials…
    • Transparency. They don’t care about outside accountability. Millennials want to if you are the real deal.
    • Collaboration. Boomers want to know what happens at the decision making table. Gen Xers don’t just want to be in the loop, they want to be heard at the table. Millennials don’t just want to know what’s happening, they want to be a part of deciding what’s going on.
    • Learn to let Millennials lead. Our job stops being the mentor job but letting them get out in front.
    • Make failure an option.
    • They have figured out mission in a different way, they are living on mission(al). How are you on mission everyday, in everything you do?
    • Is your organization the real deal? Is there fluff going on here?
    • They learn to live in the mess, to do ministry that is messy.
Interview w/ Josh Gagnon
  • See the need and communicate the why behind the need gets people on the same boat headed in the same direction.
  • Staying consistent even when you feel like you are making no movement.
  • You gain momentum when you stay true to who you are.
  • You can find momentum in seasons on the calendar. Don’t fight the calendar, live in it, work in it.
  • People who create momentum are teachable, thrive in a culture of change and openness.
  • Momentum is killed when you do it at the wrong time with the wrong people.
Kevin Myers
  • A powerful force is the momentum of the soul of the leader, when Jesus is changing the life of the leader.
  • Keeping our calling current is critical to keeping our momentum, don’t let the fire go out.
  • Main thoughts: smoke what you’re selling. Sell what you’re smoking.
  • Questions to keep wood on the fire of my soul for momentum on the inside:
    • What’s my current word from the Lord? It’s not new, but what is God whispering to you lately.
    • What’s my current obedience to the Lord? There can be sacrifice without obedience, but there can’t be obedience without sacrifice.
    • What is my current awe before the Lord? Will I get on God’s agenda and trust Him to take care of my agenda?
  • How to move momentum as a church:
    • What’s your current territory?
    • What’s your current risk?
    • What’s your current discipline to afford the risk?

Monday Mind Dump…

mind dump

  • Some days after preaching you have this high that you can’t explain.
  • Some days, you feel like you trudged through the mud of a passage and came out on the other side only to see the next verse waiting for you.
  • Today, I feel like the second one.
  • If you missed yesterday on “Do good people go to heaven?” you can listen to it here.
  • Romans 1 – 3 is an amazing set of verses that sets up the amazing truths that await in the rest of Romans, but they are hard passage to preach through.
  • Grateful for a church that wants to know what the whole bible says and sit under hard passages like ones on God’s wrath and judgment.
  • Those are humbling topics.
  • Got to celebrate with someone who kept inviting someone who finally came.
  • There’s nothing better than hearing someone say, “I have prayed and asked for years and they’re coming today.”
  • It’s a reminder that every Sunday is someone’s first Sunday. 
  • Since moving to our new location I feel like we have been doing a lot of work behind the scenes of our church to strengthen our discipleship and leadership development systems.
  • Right now, our staff is working through the leadership pipeline material from lifeway.
  • Such solid stuff.
  • Can’t wait to roll this out across all our ministries this year and how it will help people move on a path to use their gifts and talents.
  • Started reading You Are What You Love: The Spiritual Power of Habit by James K.A. Smith.
  • The book is not at all what I thought it would be about.
  • Not sure if that’s ever happened to you.
  • But I’m loving it despite that.
  • So there you go.
  • Took our kids to the fair last week.
  • Spent too much money on rides but made a ton of memories.
  • Went to see Zootopia with our kids and 4 of their friends yesterday, so yes, we took 9 kids to the movies.
  • Got some funny looks.
  • All in all, a good movie. Always interesting processing with our kids the messages of a movie and it was interesting the timeliness of the zootopia message about being anything you want to be as it relates to our culture.
  • I’m predicting some fun conversations at dinner tonight about it.
  • If you’re like me, you are excited about the NFL draft this Thursday.
  • If you’re not, you just found out the NFL draft starts on Thursday.
  • I love watching the draft.
  • Yes, I’m that guy.
  • I’ll be on a plane Thursday night so I’m hoping the airplane wifi is better than the usual airplane wifi.
  • Got a lot to do today.
  • Tons of follow up.
  • Back at it…

In Recruiting, Don’t Say No for Someone

recruiting

One thing I have noticed in the lives of pastors and those who are on church staff is a fear when it comes to volunteers and delegation. I understand where it comes from and appreciate it (because I used to feel the same way), but there is also a lot of danger in it and a robbing of our churches.

It goes something like this. A leader in a church has a need, a role that needs to be filled. They have someone in mind who could fill it and do it very well, but they don’t ask them. It might be because they think the person is too busy, that they will say no or that they won’t want to do it. (Most leaders normally feel this way because we assume that if we don’t like to do something every person on the planet also dislikes doing those things.)

What happens then is the leader says no for the person without giving them a chance to say yes or no. Would that person say no? I have no idea and neither do you.

I hear from many pastors, though, who feel guilty for asking people to give their time in building the kingdom. I understand this sentiment as people are incredibly busy. But I think this also says something about our theology. If all Christians are given spiritual gifts and will one day make an account to God for how they stewarded those gifts, it is our job as leaders to help them develop those gifts and use them (Ephesians 4). When we don’t challenge people, make the big ask of them to step up, we are robbing them of becoming all that God wants them to become, and we are keeping them from using all the gifts and talents that God gave to them.

So what do you do? “Don’t ever say no for someone.”

So I started letting people tell me no instead of doing it for them. What it has done is require me to trust God more when it comes to leaders and the holes that our church has, and it has forced me to make some big asks of people and cast vision to people. But God has also had people step up in ways that I didn’t expect them to do because, “I didn’t say no for them.”

So, pick up the phone, ask that person for coffee and cast a huge vision to them and let them decide. You never what might happen.

What Should the Culture think about Christians?

christians

When I read through the gospels, I am blown away by the conversations Jesus had with people. There is a difference in the way Jesus talked to them and his expectations for people outside of Christianity compared with today.

It always strikes me as interesting when Christians talk about the culture, politics or current issues and are surprised when people who don’t follow Jesus act like they don’t follow Jesus.

Why are we surprised?

If Christians believe that the gospel changes us (which we do), then we should expect someone who has been changed by that truth to live and act a certain way. The New Testament writers did. That’s what all the NT letters are about, how to live and act as the body of Christ. Paul did it one way in 1 Corinthians, a different way in Philippians, and James and Peter added their own takes to it.

Here are a couple of ideas on how to interact with the culture in light of this:

1. If you are a follower of Jesus, live like it. One of the best ways to move the gospel forward is to live like the gospel has changed you. Too many people who attend church every week do not live, think or feel any different from those who claim to not follow Jesus. As I said once in a sermon, a follower of Jesus should be obvious because they will have love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22 – 23).

2. Give space for those exploring Jesus to explore. Your church, community group and missional community should be places where those who don’t know Jesus feel comfortable asking questions and exploring Jesus. You should be the kind of person those who don’t know Jesus feel comfortable being around. Too many Christians don’t know how to be friends with people who don’t know Jesus, let alone share their faith with them. Be a good friend. Be someone who can be counted on, trusted, respected. This goes a long way in sharing the gospel.

3. Have a community/life that is attractive to those who don’t know Jesus. Same thing as above. If you are a pastor, how many people who don’t know Jesus do you see coming through your doors each week? How many people are getting baptized? Following Jesus? If the answer is low, you do not have an attractive community for the gospel.

4. Lovingly confront sin. If you are around humans, you will need to learn how to lovingly confront sin. The NT calls us to do this. Over and over community is to pull people aside and confront the sin in their lives with the truth of the gospel. Christians are good at shouting about the truth but terrible at doing this in a loving way. Don’t be passive aggressive. Remember how broken you are when confronting someone, and confront them the way you would want to be confronted.

5. Lovingly confront Christians who are unloving to those who don’t know Jesus. When you hear about Christians pointing their fingers, turning up their noses, or expecting not yet Christians in your church to act like Christians, lovingly confront them. Tell them how great it is that someone felt comfortable to put their cigarette out in the parking lot; at least they are there. Roll the red carpet out for not yet Christians by teaching Christians to love.

Monday Mind Dump…

mind dump

  • What a weekend.
  • I realize every pastor is supposed to say that after Easter, but it felt that way in our new space.
  • One of my favorite things this weekend was watching people who have never done the stations of the cross go through it for the first time and seeing their reaction.
  • So cool.
  • It was awesome hearing the stories of change during baptism.
  • I love that those who got baptized yesterday became Christians at our church in the last 10 weeks!
  • It was awesome kicking off our series in the book of Romans.
  • I’ve been thinking about preaching through Romans for the last several years but never felt like it was the right time.
  • With where our church is, now is the right time to walk through this book of the Bible.
  • If you missed yesterday, you can watch or listen to it here.
  • It was cool yesterday to see so many people come from GTX, the crossfit box that Katie and I go to.
  • I started reading The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert and her story is incredible.
  • I think it is easy for Christians to think about conversion in very sanitary ways, but meeting Jesus (when we are truly changed) wrecks us.
  • It’s been challenging me as I get ready to preach on the end of Romans 1 and God’s heart towards sexuality and homosexuality.
  • Those verse are bigger than homosexuality.
  • I also started reading In the Garden of Beasts: Love, Terror, and an American Family in Hitler’s Berlin just to get a change of pace.
  • I try to read novels throughout the year just to give my brain a break and thought I’d try reading something historical for a change.
  • Katie and I watched Spotlight on Saturday night.
  • It was incredible and heartbreaking.
  • The abuse of power is gut wrenching.
  • I’m really excited for our first membership class to happen on April 16th.
  • We tried membership before at Revolution and I’m not sure we knew what we were doing, so we took it away until we could figure out how to make it more than signing a piece of paper.
  • I think it has been a missing piece at our church.
  • We’re assessing a new church planter to join Acts 29 this week in AZ.
  • Love that our network is growing in our state.
  • I also get to train some leaders in Phoenix this week on leadership and marriage.
  • Always love talking about those topics and the chance to help other leaders.
  • Well, time to get back at it…

Leaders Disappoint Someone

leaders

“Exercising leadership might be best understood as disappointing people at a rate they can absorb.” -Ronald Hiefetz

I had a mentor tell me when I first started out in leadership, “Every leader on a daily basis should disappoint someone; if not, you aren’t really leading.”

There’s a part of me that likes this idea. It means I’m moving something forward, creating change or pushing against the status quo.

The other side of me hates it because I want people to like me. I don’t want to disappoint people. I want them to love what I’m doing, be a part of it and think, “I never want to leave the church Josh is leading.”

The reality is, leaders do disappoint people, and if you aren’t disappointing people, you aren’t really leading.

Why?

Disappointment can look like frustration, bristling at changes that are made, challenging people to step up and lead, take ownership or challenging someone in a counseling session to deal with their junk.

All of those things disappoint people because it pushes on something in those people.

I’m calling disappointment; when you as a leader make someone uncomfortable, lead a church where they don’t think it should go, make a change that they wouldn’t make.

Now, to be clear: disappointment is not the goal of leadership, but it is a byproduct of it.

It is the reality of what you are doing.

Disappointment also comes in another form and from another place: past hurts.

When you hear things like, “You’re moving too fast, you’re changing too much, you’re building your kingdom and not God’s”, two things might be happening. One, they might be true and you need to listen to them. Two, someone is looking at you through the lens of a past hurt and past disappointment; you are reminding them of a leader they once followed or a church they were once a part of.

Where does that leave you as a leader?

Leaders do a few different things with this:

1. They run from it. Many leaders have enormous wounds from their past that shape their present and future, and the idea of disappointing anyone keeps them from leading. Many leaders want everyone to love them, which keeps them from making bold decisions, praying big prayers or making any changes. The slightest hint of conflict or an unwillingness to move into a new future from anyone in their church, and they are done as a leader. Many pastors fear the Monday morning emails that come in, so they look towards the status quo and simply surviving.

2. They revel in it. Some leaders genuinely enjoy making people mad or disappointing them. In a sick way, it is a badge of honor. “I made this change and we lost __ blank people, but I’m being bold.” Maybe you’re bold, but you might be brash and kind of a jerk. How you talk about people’s reactions to change reveals a lot about you as a pastor. If you enjoy people leaving over changes, that can reveal some broken things in you.

3. They learn from it. Leaders are learners, bottom line. It is not just about reading books and blogs (thanks for reading this one) and listening to podcasts. Do you learn from the reactions to your leadership? Do you learn from how you make people feel when you walk into a room or how you speak to them? Any time you disappoint someone, you should find out why. What can you learn from that?

4. It makes them stronger, better leaders. If you allow disappointing people, turning people’s anger into learning as a leader, you will become a stronger, better leader. This creates resilience to keep leading. The strongest leaders I’ve met are the ones who have lived and led through some pretty big storms.

How to Trust God

trust God

Maybe you still struggle with this question, “Can I trust you, God?” After all, when we sin, we are telling God we don’t think we can trust him. This is a question everyone has; in fact, it is the same question Abraham had in the Old Testament.

If you’ve grown up in church, you know the story of Abraham, and our knowledge of his story kind of takes away some of the amazingness. In Genesis 12, we have this man named Abram. He all of a sudden appears in the pages of Scripture. He is out in the desert and he hears a voice. A voice he may have heard before, but maybe not. We aren’t told. This voice, God from heaven, tells him to pack up what he has and move “to a land I will show you.”

Now picture this: Abram goes home and tells his wife Sarai that they are to pack up and go to a land that this voice (God) will show them. I always wonder what that was like. If she was like most wives, she probably asked him how long he’s been hearing this voice. Has it said other things? Did it give any directions? Any hints on what lay ahead?

No, Abram would tell her. Only that we are to start walking and stop when he says.

What God does tell Abram is that he will one day be a great nation and that all the people of the world will be blessed through him. The irony of this is that Abram has no children and is seventy-five years old.

Finally, as he walks to this land, there is a fascinating promise given to Abram in Genesis 15. Time has passed, and Abram and Sarai still do not have a child. From their perspective, they are not any closer to being a great nation than when they left their home. So Abram does what we would do. He whines to God. Complains, actually.

God takes it and is incredibly patient with Abram through this entire conversation. As Abram unloads his feelings of despair, lack of faith, anger, and hurt over his desire to be a father, but yet not having this desire met (are you beginning to see the connection between not trusting God and giving in to temptation or other sins?), God tells him to look to the heavens and number the stars. Abram can’t number the stars, as there are too many of them. “So,” God tells him, “shall your offspring be.”

God doesn’t just stop there. He tells Abram what he (God) has done. What is interesting to me is that when God gives commands in Scripture, in particular the Ten Commandments in Exodus 20, before giving a command, he reminds the people of what he has done. God is about to make a covenant, a promise with Abram, but before he does, he reminds Abram of what he has done so far. He hasn’t just led him to a new place and promised him a son; he has guided, provided, and protected him and his family.

Then and only then does God give commands or make covenants. In Exodus 20, before giving Moses the law, he reminds him, “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery”(20:2). This is the foundation of the commands of God, his promise and the freedom that he provides.

In Genesis 15, after reminding Abram, he makes a covenant with Abram. We aren’t told in Scripture if Abram asked for it, but he was at least doubting and wondering if this was going to happen. He was complaining to God, as we would do. This has always been a comfort to me, that God doesn’t strike down questions in the Bible, but listens and answers them.

God tells Abram to bring him a heifer, a female goat, a ram, a turtledove, and a young pigeon. Abram did, and cut them all in half. In this time period, when two people made a covenant, they would kill the animals and cut them in half, and then they would walk through the animals, saying, “If I don’t keep my end of the covenant, may I end up like these animals.”

It was getting late and Abram fell asleep. Then God made a covenant with Abram, while he was asleep. As the sun set and it was dark, a smoking fire pot and flaming torch passed between the pieces. Abram never passed through the animals; only God did.

This is the extent to which God goes to keep his promises as our Father. He makes the promise and keeps it, even when we don’t. Even in our moments of failure, doubt, and fear, he is still strong and sure.

How to Worship

worship

Worship music has often been a battle ground in church. It is the reason many people come to a church and the reason many people leave a church. Did they sing the songs I like during the worship time? Was the music too loud or too quiet? Were the lights too bright? Too dark? Did they make me stand too long? Not long enough?

I was reading through Leviticus chapters 1 – 7 the other day, which cover the offerings and sacrifices the nation of Israel were to make to God. The specific laws: the kinds of animals, which side of the altar, which door they were supposed to enter from, who was supposed to kill the animal, who was to throw blood on the altar, what to wear, and it went on and on.

This can seem like one of those what’s-the-point moments in the Bible. Why did they record all these details for things we don’t do anymore? Is it just a foreshadowing of Jesus or to let us know the history of God’s people? It can also get kind of monotonous reading about another sacrifice.

Yet, I was struck by the details. And I don’t think God was trying to be difficult or give them a whole host of hoops to jump through simply to have hoops.

Worship is something we do everyday, whether it is God, our job, house, spouse, kids, dreams, or hopes. We also worship our hurts and pain by holding on to them and making them the focus of our lives and identity.

I think there is a lot of relevance from the beginning of Leviticus to our lives and churches.

1. Worship is easy to coast through. It is easy to walk into church, stand, sit, sing, listen to a prayer, recite a verse, take communion, open your Bible to hear a sermon and walk out. It is easy to simply coast through it. One of the reasons I think God goes to the detail of what kind of animal, which door to walk through, who does what, in what order is so that we see the importance of thinking through our worship and what is happening.

2. Worship is easy to make about me and what I want. It is easy to make what happens in a worship service about me and what I want. After all, I have a ton of choices on a Sunday morning. When we do this, we miss the point of worship. It has very little to do with what we want and all to do with who God is and who we are. Worship is an acknowledgement that we are not in charge, that we are not God and that we don’t deserve to have access to God, but should be under God’s wrath if not for His grace and the sacrifice of His Son in our place.

3. It is easy to leave repentance out of worship. In the Old Testament there is a continual reminder of atoning for sins as the nation of Israel sacrificed animals. Hebrews 4 teaches that Jesus is our High Priest, and now we have access to God. This means we don’t need to sacrifice animals, we don’t have to continually atone for sins because of what Jesus did “once and for all.” Yet we too easily walk into God’s presence with unconfessed sin. We need the reminder of starting with repentance, of bringing our sin, our idols, hurts and anger to God. Before walking to communion, before giving God our lists of wants and needs, to remind ourselves of our need for Him and acknowledging the grace He has extended to us. I know my heart changes and my attitude changes when I start with repentance. It changes my perspective of what is happening.