Tag Archives: revolution

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Don’t Hide Behind “God Isn’t Moving”

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God

Pastors and churches often find themselves in a predicament. They want their church to grow, they want to see people start following Jesus, marriages saved, people get baptized, use their gifts, but many do not see that happen. What’s worse is when the church down the road sees these things happening, which let’s be honest, simply means they are preaching an easy gospel or at the very least, “watering down the truth.”

Recently, I heard a pastor say, “My church isn’t growing because God isn’t moving.” I heard another church say, “God just isn’t blessing like he used to.” And then they both talked about how hard our culture is towards God, etc.

I’m sorry, but these are simply excuses.

I know, the church down the road has a bigger budget, more staff members, better staff members, cooler music, they have a building, they meet in a school so they don’t have the traditional trappings, they are a church plant, they an established church so people don’t think they are playing church like a church plant.

Excuses.

What pastors and churches uses these excuses for is to push off having to deal with issues as to why a church isn’t healthy or growing.

If people aren’t getting baptized, why not? Is it unclear? If people aren’t taking that first step to follow Jesus, why not? Do you present the gospel each week?

When these thoughts creep into my mind and they do and have. We’ve had weeks at Revolution where I preached to 11 people, our offering was $84, no one responded to anything, we cancelled baptisms and went 6 months without seeing a salvation.

Here are a few questions for pastors, leaders and churches to ask when “God isn’t moving” the way they would like or think he should be:

  1. Is there any sin I or our leaders or church need to confess?
  2. When preaching a sermon, are next steps clear?
  3. Is the gospel clearly presented each week with a call to take that step?
  4. How clear is the strategy of the church? How clear is the next step for a person from sunday morning?
  5. How complex and busy is the church? The busier the harder it is to know what is important.
  6. Are you being the church God called you to be or are you trying to be the church down the road or the one from the conference you just went to?
  7. How clear and compelling is our vision?

Churches that aren’t healthy and effective often don’t have good answers to these questions. Next time, when your church hits a plateau, instead of giving up or getting jealous about the church down the road, celebrate how God is moving at that church and begin working on why God isn’t working in your heart and church the way you’d like to see him.

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Pastor, Enjoy the Season of Growth (And Pruning)

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season of growth

I was talking to a church planter the other day who is in the hard season of planting. He told me (something I have felt and heard other planters say), “It seems like nothing we are doing is working or growing. But it seems like Revolution is going gang busters right now.”

A few thoughts I shared with him:

  1. This season is coming. If you are a pastor, leader or church planter, you will feel like this at some point. Whether it is because it didn’t go as you expected, people leave your church, giving goes down, no one responds to a sermon, you lose a place to meet or have a fight within your leadership or a hard season with your spouse or kids. Either way, it is coming.
  2. Let’s admit that from our perspective everyone has it easier and better. It doesn’t matter if you are a pastor or not, everyone has it better. Everyone has the bigger church, bigger budget, better marriage, better situation, better staff, better worship leader, kids pastor, student pastor, bigger blog or twitter platform. Everyone else is a better communicator, leader, pastor, better everything. It isn’t true, but it seems that way and because it seems that way, it becomes true in your mind.
  3. Don’t waste the pruning season. Pruning is brutal. Whether personally or as an organization. Everyone needs it and everyone gets it. The question is if they use it or waste it. Every leader from Moses, David, Jesus and Paul went through the desert and were pruned. Everyone of them came out the other side and while no leader wants to go through the desert, after going through it, they wouldn’t trade it. For me and our church, 2012-2013 was a season of pruning. It was hard. I grew a lot in those years. God did a lot of work on my heart and in our church. During that season, our church didn’t grow a lot. I think sometimes God protects our churches from growing so he can work on the leaders. Bottom line is this, if you are in a season of pruning personally, as a church staff or as a church (and you know if you are), lean into it. Grow in it. Don’t waste it. Those seasons tend to last until God is finished with us so you might as well dig into it.
  4. Enjoy the harvest season. Right now, Revolution is moving from the pruning season (we are still in it) to a season of growth and harvest. This is what every pastor and church dreams of, and it is fun. This is when things work, things grow, MC’s grown and multiply and people get saved, sermons have life and connect. It is easy to miss this season and not enjoy it. That doesn’t mean sit back and be lazy, but thank God for this season. It is his grace on you.

Regardless of the season you are in, it doesn’t last forever. Spring does come and winter ends. But the summer harvest also moves into a season of fall which becomes winter. Nothing lasts forever, no matter how much we want it to or how much it seems like hard difficult season won’t end, it will.

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When You Manipulate Your Husband, You Lose Him

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Manipulate your Husband

Over time in a relationship, couples fall into typical roles. They learn how to push each other’s buttons. They learn how to control the other, how to manipulate situations to get what they want and ultimately, how to win. This might be through force, silent treatment, being on edge, yelling, withholding sex, controlling the money or the schedule.

Men do this. Women do this.

I’ll post another time about how men do this, but for today, I want to focus on how many wives manipulate their husband and the consequences of that manipulation.

I remember preaching a series through the life of Samson at Revolution Church and while the series is geared towards men, there is a ton in it for women. Like this:

And in three days they could not solve the riddle. On the fourth day they said to Samson’s wife, “Entice your husband to tell us what the riddle is, lest we burn you and your father’s house with fire. Have you invited us here to impoverish us?” And Samson’s wife wept over him and said, “You only hate me; you do not love me. You have put a riddle to my people, and you have not told me what it is.” And he said to her, “Behold, I have not told my father nor my mother, and shall I tell you?” She wept before him the seven days that their feast lasted, and on the seventh day he told her, because she pressed him hard. Then she told the riddle to her people. -Judges 14:14b – 17

Samson tells a riddle to the Philistines, who are ruling over the nation of Israel. He makes a bet that they can’t figure it out.

They can’t.

So, the Philistines go to Samson’s Philistine fiance and tell her to find out the answer, so they don’t look foolish.

This passage shows a few things about men and women and their default sins under stress. Samson wants to win at all costs. Samson wants to avoid looking foolish at all costs.

His fiance makes the go to move that every woman uses, and uses a lot in marriage, manipulation. 

She wept before Samson for 7 days. She nagged, complained, gave him the silent treatment.

And in the end, she won.

But she lost Samson.

Every time you manipulate your husband, you lose him. 

Every time you manipulate your husband, you lose a little piece of him.

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You may not lose him to divorce, but you lose a piece of him. Trust is damaged. He begins to wonder if you are just using him. He begins to wonder if you have his best interest at heart or if you are out for yourself, your kids or someone else (maybe your mother, his mother-in-law). He wonders if you will fight for your marriage. He wonders what will happen the next time you don’t get your way.

It might be you stop talking to him, stop responding to him sexually, withhold information, give him cold stares, talk in passive aggressive tones, make snide remarks towards him.

Men will acquiesce all kinds of things for peace and the path of less resistance.

So, while many women “win” and get their way through manipulation, much like Samson’s fiance. They lose their husband and a piece of their marriage every time.

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Sometimes When People Leave Your Church, that is God protecting You

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leave your church

As a pastor, when someone leaves your church, it hurts.

It doesn’t matter if it is because they moved away, stopped believing in the vision, helped to start a new church across town or just simply decided they were done with church. They all hurt. Some more than others.

In the history of Revolution Church, whenever someone has left, God has always shown himself faithful and allowed our church not to skip a beat. In fact, each time a volunteer or staff member has left, our church was stronger after they left and by God’s grace, we could take the next step.

I was in a funk the other day.

Pastors know this feeling.

You start to think about the past year, people who have left, people you were pouring into and you start feeling sorry for yourself.

It is natural.

It is also sin.

In that moment of reminiscing the Spirit very clearly impressed upon me, “Josh, when people leave your church, sometimes it is for your and the church’s protection.”

Here’s what I mean.

Soon before we planted Revolution, one of our core leaders just up and quit our launch team. That hurt and made no sense. Within one year he and his wife divorced. That would have been horrible as a new church plant to walk through.

We had another influential person who left and then within 6 months said he didn’t believe in God or want to follow him anymore.

My point is, when people leave, sometimes it is for their good, your good and the good of the church because it is God protecting you.

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Helping Your Kids Process People Who Walk Out

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walk out

One of the hardest parts of parenting is helping your kids process the people who walk out of their lives. It might be a parent, a friend, or if you are a pastor, someone who used to attend your church.

As Revolution Church has grown, people have moved away, moved to a different church or just altogether decided to be done with church. All of them hurt.

This came up in our home the other night as one of our kids asked about someone who used to be in our MC and if they were coming over to watch the Super Bowl. We said, “No, they go to a different church now.” Our son looked at us and asked, “Why?”

That moment as a parent is hard, especially if that person hurt you as well. You want to be honest with your child, but you also don’t want to give your sin to your child and you want to help your child have a healthy view of that person.

It can be equally hard if you are an adoptive parent and your child asks, “Why am I here?”

So what do you do?

Here are 7 things to keep in mind when you help your child understand why someone walked out:

  1. Understand what is your sin and how it affects you. Every time a relationship ends, there is a death. There is sin on both sides. You may be convinced there is more sin in the other person, and there may be, but that isn’t important at this moment. Your response about this person, to this person, when you talk to others about this person will show if your heart is healed and if you have let go. If you struggle with letting go of people or your past, listen to this sermon Katie and I preached on the topic.
  2. Ask your child about that person. Let your child have a chance to talk about this person. As an adult, you have probably discussed the person and situation at length and may be tired of talking about it, but your child may not have had the opportunity. They may have just realized that person isn’t around anymore or this may be the first time they want to discuss it. Let them talk it out. Also, ask them what they miss the most. This will give you a window into the hole that is in their heart and how it can best be filled.
  3. Don’t lie. Whatever you do, don’t lie. Don’t stretch the truth to make this person look worse. It is easy to do, but that is not helpful (and a sin).
  4. Protect their heart. Don’t go into all the details. They don’t need to know if they are wrecking their life, that isn’t helpful. Don’t give them your jaded view of the person.
  5. Talk about who is still in your life. Switch gears and talk about who is coming over, who is still in our life as friends and family. Ask them who they are thankful for and why.
  6. It is not about the child. Remind them of the hard truth that while it might feel to them as a child that it is about them, it is not. This will be something you may continually have to remind your child, especially in a divorce or abandonment situation.
  7. Be prepared to be disappointed. As a parent who has been divorced or has adopted or has married a deadbeat, you will often have to pick up the pieces for your child and make do. This is part of parenting. You may not have realized it when you signed up, but it is part of it, just like the fun times. Be prepared. Protect your heart. Do not let another person steal your joy and fight with everything you have for the joy of your child.
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Everyone Finds Jesus Differently

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jesus

While all Christians realize the title of this blog post is true, we often forget it. Many times, we fall into the trap that says: What rescued me, what impacted me to start following Jesus will work for everyone.

Many times, this is what is underneath our passion for more modern music, deeper preaching, life on life discipleship, a women’s ministry, a men’s ministry, a singles ministry. You name it. Whatever ministry God used to save you, we often think, “If everyone experiences that, they’ll be saved.”

The reality is that everyone starts following Jesus differently.

This came up in the passage I just preached on in John 9 this past Sunday at Revolution. You can listen to it here if you haven’t already.

The Pharisees are having a hard time with Jesus healing the man born blind on the Sabbath because they don’t do it that way. They don’t think God works that way, they’ve never seen it done before (vs. 32), or they weren’t saved that way.

I’ve had this conversation so many times I’ve lost count (and every pastor can relate). It goes like this, “Pastor Josh, we need to start a __________ ministry to reach ___________. If we do, Revolution will explode.” Or, “Josh, if we just get every man to do __________” or, “If we get every woman/student/single to do ____________ they’re life will be changed.” Or, “Josh if you preached more topical sermons, more deeper sermons, longer sermons, shorter sermons more people would get saved.” Or, “Josh, if we did faster songs, slower songs, more responsive readings, more hymns, more modern songs, if it was louder, if it was quieter, people would worship more than they do.”

Now, I’m not saying those things won’t change their lives, but we show a lot of immaturity if we think God only saves people the way we were saved or the ministry we are passionate about.

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Before You Criticize Your Pastor

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pastor

The longer I’m a pastor I’ve realized something about churched people. When I say a churched person, I mean someone who has been attending church for any length of time and is a follower of Jesus (pretty broad definition). Many people in this category, while they love their church and want to see God do incredible things in their city, they also have the idea that they are smarter than their pastor or at least could do his job better than he’s doing it.

Now, they may be smarter than their pastor. There are lots of people at Revolution more educated than I am and smarter in a variety of disciplines than I am. There are people who may be able to do my job better than I can, but aren’t called to it.

I’ve written about criticism and how to handle it as a leader in other posts that you can read here and here. What I want to focus on here is before you criticize your pastor,

Here are some questions you should ask yourself before criticizing your pastor (or anyone):

8 questions to ask before criticizing your pastor.

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  1. Why does this matter? At the end of the day, some of the things that bother us simply are not that important. In marriage, your spouse does all kinds of things that drive you nuts (Katie doesn’t do anything that drives me nuts but I’ve heard other people complain about their spouses). Sometimes it isn’t that big of a deal. It might be a situation where you just need to let it go.
  2. What do I hope to gain from this? What is the end result? Do you hope your pastor will say you are right and they are wrong? Do you hope to help your pastor grow or simply point out his faults? Do you want any recognition in this process?
  3. How would you feel if you didn’t criticize your pastor? What if you didn’t say anything? How would that affect your heart? Would it drive you nuts or would you forget about it?
  4. What if nothing changes? This gets to the heart for many, what if your pastor doesn’t do anything with what you say? What if they disagree with you and tell you nothing will change? How will handle that? Your answer to this question will reveal a lot of your heart and if there is sin there.
  5. Is your criticism actually from the Bible? Pastors hear all kinds of things they are doing wrong or that their church can do better. Most of the time those criticisms simply come from people who would rather things were done differently. Is your problem actually in the Bible? Is your pastor sinning?
  6. Have you talked to anyone else? If you have, you’ve already sinned and you need to repent to God and to your pastor. Don’t bounce it off someone else, don’t do a veiled prayer request.
  7. Is this consistent with my pastor’s character? Could he have just been having an off day? Many times criticism comes from things that are not who your pastor is. If your pastor consistently does the thing or sin that you see, then talk with them. It may just be that something is going on in your pastor’s life that is tough, he maybe didn’t mean anything by what he said or you may have misheard him.
  8. Am I jealous of my pastor? Maybe you want his job, the upfront attention he gets. Many people think being a pastor is easy, glamorous and fun. At times, it can be those things, but it is usually hard work. Often, criticism comes from a place of jealousy, either for their pastors job, attention, status, relationship with God, or marriage. When I meet with someone who is upset at me or Revolution, half of the meeting will be the person venting about their spouse or another area of their life that they are taking out on me or our church.
8 questions to ask before criticizing your pastor.

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At the end of the day, disagreeing with your pastor is okay. Pushing back on something you think is a sin, wrong or don’t like is okay. The problem is in how it is often done. In veiled prayer requests at a missional community, a blog post, gossiping without talking to the source. Sometimes though, you need to not say anything. Sometimes it isn’t a big deal. Sometimes you need to give your pastor the feedback you are holding on to.

You also need to be prepared for your pastor to disagree with you and do nothing about it. This is when the heart issues will pop up for you. What if you believe something is wrong or should change and your pastor does nothing with it? If it is a sin, you should talk to other elders, but let your pastor know that you think this should happen. If it isn’t a sin but is just a difference in theology or how things are done at the church, if it is a big deal for you, you should leave and find another church. Here are some things to work through and keep in mind if it gets to that point.

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When A Calling Gets Hard (You Know It’s Real)

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leadership

At Revolution, we want to be a church that plants churches. This means, we have a lot of guys walking through our doors who want to plant churches. It also means I have “the calling” conversation on a regular basis. Depending on your background and denomination, “the calling” conversation takes on a variety of weights in terms of importance.

Not only do I meet a lot of guys who want to plant churches, but I also meet a lot of guys who want to be leaders or church planters because it is cool and sexy. For these guys, being a pastor is not a calling, it is a job. Sutton Turner lists 8 ways you know it is a job and not a calling:

  1. If your primary motivation is to pay your bills and provide for your family, it’s a job. If your primary motivation is to serve Jesus and be used by him as he builds his church, it’s ministry.
  2. If you want praise and recognition for your work, it’s a job. If no one else besides Jesus needs to commend what you’re doing, it’s ministry.
  3. If you want to quit because your spouse or kids have a difficult time with you working for the church, it’s a job. If your family understands that serving in a local church is difficult and costly for everyone, and if they count the cost and invest in it with you, it’s ministry.
  4. If you envision yourself in another job or position outside the church, it’s a job. If there’s no other place you would rather be, it’s ministry.
  5. If you do the job as long as it does not cut into other things (hobbies, family activities, etc.), it’s a job. If you are willing to give up recreation in order to serve, it’s ministry.
  6. If you compare yourself with others outside of church staff who have more free time, more money, and more possessions, it’s a job. If you pray for people outside of church staff and want Jesus to bless them, it’s a ministry.
  7. If it bothers you when the phone rings on evenings and weekends, it’s a job. If you see random calls at odd hours as opportunities to help with gladness, it’s ministry.
  8. If you want to quit because the work is too hard, or the pressure is too great, or your performance is criticized, it’s a job. If you stick it out, no matter what happens, until Jesus clearly tells you that it’s time to go, it’s ministry.

That last one stands out to me. The way you know you are called to something is if you stick with it when it is hard. Leadership is hard. Planting a church is hard. Sticking it out when it seems everyone else stands against you is hard. Losing friends because they don’t buy into your vision is hard. Not making a lot of money doing something is hard.

The way you know you are called to something is if you stick with it when it is hard

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Jesus is not looking for guys who want to stand on a stage, who want their name to be known or put up in lights. He is looking for people who are willing to do hard work, who are willing to not be noticed, to not be remembered, to simply point to him in all they do. That is what makes fulfilling the calling God places on your life, you don’t get the credit for it.

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Dads & Family Vacations (How to Maximize Your Summer)

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family vacation

We just got back yesterday from a family vacation. We spent the last week in San Diego, escaping the heat of Tucson and enjoying the cloudy, cool weather of California. One thing I’ve noticed in my own life, and so I assume it is the same for other dad’s, is how we misuse our vacation time and ultimately, lose great opportunities with our families.

I always hear people say after a vacation, “I need a vacation from my vacation.” Here are a few tips I’ve learned over the last few years of family vacations and summers with our kids so that when you go on vacation, you actually rest and recharge:

  1. Take all your vacation days. If your company gives you 3 weeks, take all 3. Don’t leave any left over at the end of the year. Your work hard, your family runs really fast throughout the year from activity to activity. One of the biggest wastes is vacation time left over. One study found that 3 out of 10 Americans leave vacation days on the table each year. These are free days off, take them.
  2. Dad’s set the tone. The reality of vacation, summer and really year round in a home is that Dad sets the tone. When I am frustrated, tense, anxious, the whole family ends up feeling this way. How you react to your wife, your kids. It bleeds into everyone. You set the tone.
  3. Prepare mentally and emotionally for time off. Being off from work is hard. It is a different rhythm, a different routine. You don’t wake up and make phone calls, check your email or sit in meetings. If you have young kids, they don’t usually entertain themselves. As a dad, you aren’t used to this. So, mentally and emotionally prepare for it. You probably work too many hours like most of us, which means emotionally you are fried by the time you get to vacation. Spend the week leading up to vacation mentally and emotionally unpacking and preparing for vacation.
  4. Turn off your email, phone, facebook, etc. Vacation means you are not working. I know this is hard to believe but your company will run without you. When we go on vacation, I turn off my phone, email, facebook, etc. I got home to 300+ emails, tons of facebook notifications that I get to pull my way out of. Trust me on this, if you want a sure fire way to build into your family, win enormous points with your wife, turn off your phone, email and social media. Some will tell me they can’t. I will challenge you to look at the idol of your heart that is driving that perceived need.
  5. Plan Ahead. Wherever you are going, even if you are doing a staycation, do some research. Find some ideas on groupon or living social, look for coupons. The internet makes planning a cheap vacation, inexpensive fun things to do, incredibly easy.
  6. Vacation is about you serving. Vacation is a time for you to serve your wife and your kids, not the other way around. Clean up after meals, ask your wife ahead of time what she would like to have happen so she can recharge and rest. While went to the beach, I would spend time with the kids so Katie could just sit on the beach.
  7. Make memories. This goes with planning ahead. While we in San Diego, we ate out a lot. We rarely eat out at home and thought it would be fun. We made sure that we ate near a lot of boats because our kids loved looking at them. Think through, what things can we do to make memories.

 

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What Do People Feel From You as a Leader

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leader

If you are a leader, what do people feel when you are around? There is an expectation that people have of leaders, that they will be confident, visionary, know where they are taking a team or organization, but also not full of themselves in the process.

What happens though, when you as a leader don’t know where you are going? You don’t know the next step for your church or organization. Do you fake it til you know? What about when you don’t feel like leading or doing your job?

These feelings will come at some point. You will have a sermon to preach you don’t feel prepared for or are too tired to preach. Yet, it is the weekend.

The reality of leadership and teams is that the team feeds off the leader. A church begins to reflect the leader.

Last year, I walked through a season where I did not live with margin. Emotionally I got burned out through things going on at church (a church merge among them), as well as stress in my life with health issues, car accidents, and our adoption. I did not keep myself fresh and found myself burned out. Crispy. Toast. Whatever word you want to use.

Most weeks I did not feel like leading. I did not feel like preaching. I had no energy to give. I didn’t feel very visionary.

Here’s the sad part, it was reflected in Revolution. Revolution feeds off the attitudes of its leaders. If the leaders are tired, that is felt in the church. If the leaders don’t feel like being there, that is felt and reflected in the church. If the leaders are dry spiritually, that is felt and reflected in the church.

One might think, the answer is simply that pastor’s need to fake it, act like they want to be there and everything will be fine. That isn’t the answer, because faking it will be obvious eventually.

What this does for me is reveal what is the most important thing I do as a leader. The most important person I lead as a leader is myself.

So, how do you lead yourself?

First, you must know yourself. What are your limits physically, emotionally, spiritually, relationally. These are different for each person and will often change as you age. I could handle more physically when I was 23 than I can at 33. As an introvert, my limit relationally is different than an extrovert.

Second, as a communicator, how many weeks in a row can you preach before being exhausted and run out of things to say? For me, I’ve learned that 10 weeks is about my limit. Every 10 weeks I need to have at least 1 week where I don’t preach. This helps me to regroup, helps Revolution hear from other communicators and it gives me time to physically recover. I’ve met guys who have longer or shorter reaches on this.

Third, what robs you of energy and what gives you energy? There are people and situations that rob you of energy, do your best to eliminate these from your life. The reality is, this might take some time. You may need to move things around in your life. I’ve learned how many meetings a week I can have with people, how many lunches I can have while making sure I have time to work on my sermon and to make sure I don’t kill myself relationally. On days that are intense relationally, the next day I am sure to schedule introvert time and work on a sermon.

Fourth, deal with those things in your life that have hurt you emotionally. At the end of 2010 and the beginning of 2011, these were the hardest months for me since we started Revolution. We had an elder roll off our elder team that was hard for me personally because of my friendship with him, but God was clearly moving him to a new adventure. It was still hard. Then we had to discipline a different elder and ultimately remove him. While this was going on, we were merging with another church. The merge was harder than I expected it to be and a lot of relationships. All of this begins to add up, stacking is what one author calls it. If you don’t deal with these, figure out how to take a break from them, you will burn out emotionally.

Ironically, most of the talk about burn out has to do with physical limits, but I think the emotional part of the equation is what burns most people out.

All of this gets into what people feel from you as a leader. If you are tired physically, not sleeping or eating well, not exercising, it will show. If you are moving further and further away from God in your relationship with him because you are so busy doing work for God and helping others with their relationship with him that you have nothing left for your own, that will show. If you have emotional baggage that you have not dealt with, that will begin to show.

This isn’t a call for a super leader. That isn’t the answer, because that isn’t possible. Instead, this is a call to be real about life. To know your limits, to lead yourself so that you can lead others.

This much is true, your attitude, feelings, excitement as a leader are felt throughout your organization, team or church. There is no way around it. Because of that, you need to lead yourself first, so you can lead others well.