We have a lot of feelings at Christmas time. Feelings of happiness and joy, laughter, parties, and gifts.
But we also experience some deeper, sadder feelings. The feelings of loneliness, being left out or forgotten. But one feeling creeps up on us, especially as we age. And that’s cynicism.
It’s easy at Christmas to be cynical. To look at people and think life doesn’t turn out that way. Like the commercials, people don’t just buy cars for their spouse without telling them. It’s easy to hear children’s dreams and think, good luck with that. I wish I could get the new iPhone too! To watch another hallmark movie and feel you can’t just leave the big city and move to a small town in New England and find love! It doesn’t work like that.
We do this with God too. To hear the stories of Jesus coming to earth and think, God doesn’t love like that. He doesn’t enter into the messiness of my story.
Advent is the answer to our cynicism and skepticism. The weeks remind us that when Jesus came and when Jesus comes again, we have hope, joy, peace, and love. Those aren’t just words for songs; they are real things and things we need.
But another reason we get cynical is we’re tired of waiting. We’re tired of trusting. We’re tired of asking: When will God heal my body and mend my relationships? When will God free me from this addiction? When will God do this for the people closest to me?
What do we do with our cynicism, so it doesn’t ruin our holidays?
Carey Nieuwhof said, “Cynicism happens not because you don’t care but because you do.”
The places in our lives where we become cynical are deeply personal hopes and dreams that we carry for our present and future.
In this place, we have to battle for contentment and fight cynicism.
One of the things we miss when we think about contentment is that our contentment in life, marriage, parenting, and leadership is not just about us but all the people connected to us. Our spouse and kids are affected by our contentment or lack thereof.
If you are a pastor, leader, or boss, those following you are impacted by the contentment or cynicism you feel. As a parent, your kids feel the weight of cynicism or the joy of your contentment.
We can easily beat ourselves up because of contentment and cynicism ebb and flow.
But how do you fight for contentment, especially if you are not naturally optimistic?
Surround yourself with contented people. A thankful person is a joy to be around. Get around them, listen to them. They have peace that few other people have.
Learn what leads to cynicism. If you are a church planter or pastor, cynicism comes from hearing about a larger church or a church planter who was given a building out of the blue (that’s mine). If you are a parent, it might be hearing about another family or seeing something on Instagram. Know your triggers. Know when they might hit. Hint: it will often happen when you are tired or emotionally depleted. Just be aware of that.
Be grateful for what you have. One of the practices that has helped me this past year is writing down at least three daily things I am thankful for. This has caused me to pause in my day and see how things are going well, things I can celebrate.