The Benefits of Challenges in Life & Leadership

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I just wrapped up a series on the book of Habakkuk. In it, Habakkuk wrestles with God to try to understand where God is in our pain, what God is doing when life seems out of control, and why evil seems to prosper. 

The book begins with Habakkuk questioning God in prayer, asking, “How long, O Lord,” and ends with a prayer of praise. 

Habakkuk ends by saying, “God, I have found you in the joy, the sunshine. I have found you in the storm, when life is hard, and because I have found you in both places, when the silence comes, when I don’t understand what is going on, I know you are still there.”

But we are still left to wonder, why? Why do we have to walk through this? Why are there trials? Can’t we get to that place of trust and praise without the valleys?

The answer seems to be no. 

Over and over in the Bible, we are told that we cannot become who God has called us to be without adversity.

James tells us: Consider it a great joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you experience various trials, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing.

The only way endurance is produced is through trials. The only way that endurance will have its full effect to bring us to a place of being mature, complete, and lacking nothing, is through trials. 

Tim Keller, in his book Walking with God through Pain and Suffering, said, “There is no way to really learn how to trust in God until you are drowning.”

So, how do we do that?

Keller goes on, “To walk with God through pain and suffering means we must treat God as God and as there with us. It means we speak to him, pouring out our hearts to him in prayer, like Habakkuk. It means to trust him. But it also means to see with the eyes of your heart how Jesus plunged into the fire for you when he went to the cross. This is what you need to know so you will trust him, stick with him, and thus turn into purer gold in the heat. If you remember with grateful amazement that Jesus was thrown into the ultimate suffering for you, you can begin to sense him in your smaller sufferings with you.”

If we don’t walk with God in pain and suffering, and go it alone, we will not find God there. We will walk all alone.

What we have seen from Habakkuk as he walked with God is not an instantaneous answer. He got some answers right away, but some questions God did not answer. He got some deliverance, but not all of it right away. He received the peace that passes understanding, he gained new insights, but what we see is the slow and steady movement towards the person God calls him to be.

Notice what Habakkuk didn’t do: He didn’t pretend his pain, suffering, and questions weren’t there. He didn’t act like life was okay. He didn’t put on a smile and pretend.

Often, our culture says the way forward when life is hard is to think positively, pretend it doesn’t hurt, numb it with ice cream, shopping, alcohol, work, exercise, sex, or sleep. The problem is, after you do that, life still hurts. You can’t relax it away.

Instead, Habakkuk faced life. He faced the hardship and, in it, found that peace is there because God is there.

God’s presence enables us to face anything. 

 

How the Justice of God Answers Pain and Suffering

One of the hardest questions to wrestle with in our faith journeys is the question of evil and suffering. Why does God allow the things he does? Why doesn’t he stop wars, famines, or hurricanes? Why does he allow abuse and broken relationships? Why doesn’t he stop evil corporations or governments?

These questions aren’t new to us. They are all over Scripture. It is the question that is the center of the book of Habakkuk.

As we make our way to the end of chapter 2, God answers Habakkuk with “5 woes” to the Babylonians. These “woes” show that while God used Babylon to punish Judah, he would hold them accountable for their evil actions. But as you read through the woes, we can also see the evil in our day and age. And if we are honest, we can see the evil in our own hearts as God names each one.

Woe #1: The Woe of Money and Greed (2:6 – 8). 

Money and greed are an enormous part of evil. We see this all around us and throughout Scripture

Paul told Timothy in the NT that “the love of money was the root of all evil.” Money isn’t evil in and of itself, but how we view and use money can be. 

God is talking about the way the Babylonians handle money, and when money is used for evil and suffering. 

Underneath this woe about money and greed is really pride. A lot of pain and suffering comes from pride. People cheat because they think they deserve something. We hurt people with our words out of pride. We feel hurt or not good enough, so we put people down so we feel better. We are greedy; people are so greedy that we hurt others. People are oppressed, used, abused, left, and cast aside when they don’t serve a purpose.

The question we need to ask ourselves is, Where does money and greed show up as evil in your life?

We can talk about politics and corporations and compare them to Babylon and the evil of Habakkuk’s day pretty easily. But what about us? Are we causing any evil with our money, greed, and pride?

Woe #2: The Woe of Dishonesty and Self-Serving Behavior (2:9 – 11).

Another way to see this woe is as unjust gain.

This might seem obvious, but when we gain by lying, by not telling the whole truth, we gain by being self-serving. 

The superpowers of Habakkuk’s day did this, and so do they today, and so do we. 

This is when we want to take care of our family, to provide, but in our desire, we end up hurting people, using people, and doing wrong. This can also be when we gain money dishonestly. Like this past Thursday and Friday, when you “worked” while watching March Madness!

Underneath our actions in this area is often an “I deserve this.”

This can also be when good motives turn bad. 

This happens to all of us. 

Maybe you’ve experienced hurt because of a parent who couldn’t stop working. They said it was because they wanted to give you things, but it was their pride.

Maybe it was a spouse who couldn’t set boundaries.

This is the thinking that if you make enough money, you can keep pain and hurt from your life. Or, if you can make enough money, you will be somebody, important enough, you can make someone jealous, or get a parent to notice you.

The question we need to ask ourselves is, Are we taking any shortcuts in life? Are we being honest in all areas and all relationships?

Woe #3: The Woe of Violence (2:12 – 14). 

God denounces the splendor of the Babylonian empire because it was built on blood, corruption, and they did it all in an effort to gain their own glory.

God is calling out the people who build empires and legacies on the backs of others. That can be the wealthy over the poor, this can be about race or gender. 

But it can also be closer to home. 

How many of us have built our lives, our glory, our little empire on the tears of someone who asked us to slow down? To pay more attention? To care about something else more? How many of us have seen someone try to build their life on the hurt and tears of others?

We also have to be aware of how desensitized we have become to the violence of our world. 

This doesn’t mean we turn away and pretend it isn’t happening. 

But now, because we can play Grand Theft Auto and steal a car, play a first-person shooter game, and then watch bombs explode live on TikTok, we are desensitized to the cry of violence and oppression. 

There are now whole social media accounts that are just videos of people dying or getting hurt. 

And we have to ask, “Am I helping to keep violence alive, or am I working to end it?

Woe #4: The Woe of Hurting Others (2:15 – 17). 

This is exploitation. Degrading those around us. 

This is the person who takes joy in others’ pain. The one who laughs at others’ tears. The one who is callous to the pain of those closest to them. 

The Babylonians would get someone drunk, get them naked, and take advantage of them, degrading and disrespecting them.

This can also be when we watch someone be degraded, ridiculed, and made fun of, and do nothing. This can happen at work or school when someone is bullied, harassed, or made fun of, and we do nothing. 

This can happen when we watch porn and see someone being degraded and humiliated. 

And we tell ourselves that we do it not because we want them to be hurt but because we don’t want to join them.

For some, watching others in pain is enjoyable. 

Here is a question: Do your actions or inactions exploit anyone in any way?

Woe #5: The Woe of Idolatry (2:18 – 20). 

An idol is not a statue you bow down to. An idol is anything you look to, anything you place your trust in to do what only God can do.

It is looking to someone to approve of you instead of God. 

It is looking to your kids, spouse, parent, or teacher for affirmation instead of to God.

It is trying to rest in your control instead of trusting in God’s control and power.

It is seeking to find pleasure and identity in sex and relationships instead of Jesus.

It is whatever you would lose that would make your life not worth living. 

That thing, that person, that dream or hope is something you have placed above Jesus. 

What idol does your life revolve around instead of Jesus?

To help you figure out what idols are lurking in your heart, click here to work through a series of questions

God tells Habakkuk in verse 20: But the Lord is in his holy temple; let the whole earth be silent in his presence.

God says, I see all of these things. I hear the cry of the oppressed. I see the tears of the broken. 

But I also see the evil that the Chaldeans do. He also sees the evil that we do. 

Verse 20 is crucial to this book and to the question of where God is when life hurts and why God allows suffering and evil in the world.

After saying, “I see all that the Chaldeans do. I see their sin. I see how they exploit people, harm them, and abuse them. I see it all. Justice is coming. Because I sit on my throne in my temple.”

The word temple is the same Hebrew word that the Old Testament prophet Isaiah used to describe God as a judge and the day of judgment, when everyone will stand before God and give an account of their lives.

Tim Keller, in his book Walking with God Through Pain and Suffering, said,

The biblical doctrine of judgment day, far from being a gloomy idea, enables us to live with both hope and grace. That all wrongs will be redressed. If we are not sure that there will be a final judgment, then when we are wronged, we will feel an almost irresistible compulsion to take up the sword and smite the wrongdoers. But if we know that no one will get away with anything, and that all wrongs will ultimately be redressed, then we can live in peace. Judgment day tells us that we don’t know exactly what people deserve, nor have the right to mete out punishment when we are sinners ourselves.

How to Trust God (When It’s Hard to Trust)

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Trust isn’t easy for many of us. 

We have been hurt, betrayed, fired from jobs, cut from teams, broken up. And people we love and care about have experienced these things as well. 

We navigate our relational worlds, wondering who is safe and if the bottom will fall out on a relationship. 

We then take this feeling and fear into our relationship with God. We wonder, like the prophet Habakkuk, “Can I trust God? Is God good? Is God really in charge of things?”

In Habakkuk 1:12-2:5, Habakkuk questions God and says, “I get that you have a plan, but I have questions about your plan.” All of us can relate to this on some level. We see God’s hand and think, “I would’ve done that differently.”

But God tells Habakkuk something key in 2:4: “The righteous shall live by faith.” 

Where is our faith put? In God. 

Trust starts with who we are trusting in.

How do we know whether to trust someone? Should we trust God?

Henry Cloud’s book on Trust: Knowing When to Give It, When to Withhold It, How to Earn It, and How to Fix It When It Gets Broken, says there are 5 essentials of trust

The first is understanding.

According to Cloud, understanding is feeling known and understood by the other person. 

This is important in any relationship. To feel safe and trust the other person, I have to know that they know me, that I’m safe, and that they understand me and my feelings. 

Do you feel like God understands you? Knows you? Do you feel safe and secure in your relationship with God? 

Habakkuk would say he felt understood by God. He was safe and secure enough to tell God what he thought and felt. 

The second is Motive.

According to Cloud, motive is believing that the other person has your best interests at heart. This is believing that God does want what’s best for you. 

The best for us isn’t always comfortable or easy. A doctor will tell us to change our diet to improve our health. Is that the best thing for us? Yes. Do we want to stop eating certain things? No. A financial planner or coach will tell us to make this choice with our money or that choice with our life or health. 

Will we want to do that? Not always, but it is best for us. 

Habakkuk believes God has his best interest at heart. He just doesn’t understand why God is doing it. 

The difference is crucial. 

The third is ability. 

The third essential to trust is ability. 

This is believing that God is able to do what He promises. That God can do what we need him to do. 

Can God come through? Yes, God can heal. Yes, God brings about miracles. 

The bible is a resounding yes to God’s ability to do what He promises. 

The fourth is character.

The fourth essential is character. 

Who God is, that his character is trustworthy. 

That we trust God is good, true. 

The fifth is track record.

The last essential is track record. 

This is looking at who God is and what God has done in our past, others’ past, and throughout scripture, and seeing his track record. 

For me, this is one I will struggle with as it relates to God. 

When God doesn’t do something at present the way he did in the past or in the same time frame. 

But this is the testing of our faith.

When we trust someone, we are trusting their character. Who they are, their past performance, and whether they have proven themselves trustworthy.

How to Write Your Own Lament

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As we begin our new series in the book of Habakkuk, Wrestling with God, we see Habakkuk wrestling with God and complaining about what seems like God’s lack of activity. As Habakkuk opens in chapter 1, God does not scold Habakkuk for lamenting and bringing his complaint to God. 

This is something we see throughout Scripture. Weather in the Psalms, the books of Job, Jeremiah, Lamentations, and others, but we also see Paul ask God to remove his thorn and Jesus in the garden asks for another way. 

Depending on your church background, view of God, or prayer, it might surprise you to see Habakkuk speak to God the way he does. Yet, this is so important: God invites our complaints. He doesn’t push us away or scold us. He listens. He embraces us, which is what Habakkuk’s name means. 

An important part of our Christian walk is a prayer of lament. Herman Gunkel said, “The prayer of complaint is the backbone of the Psalms.”

To help you, I want to encourage you to click this link to work through your own prayer of lament to God. This has been incredibly helpful to Katie and me in times of pain and difficulty as we try to stay open to what God is doing. The moments in life when we find ourselves in the valleys are dark and difficult, but they are also the moments when deep growth in our faith journey happens. 

The Key to the Life We Long For

Over the years, many things have been said in sermons and classes at church about giving and generosity. I’ve heard pastors berate people from the stage, guilt people into giving, or hold a narrow view of generosity, seeing it only as about money rather than the broader context Scripture offers. 

When scripture talks about generosity, it includes money, but also our time and talents. 

Throughout the New Testament, Jesus and others continually tell us that wherever we spend our time, our talents, and our treasure matter to us. We can say with our lips that we want to honor God and that God is a priority in our lives, but if we don’t back that up in how we live, we are fooling ourselves. 

In 1 Timothy 6, Paul wants us to ask ourselves whether we are trusting in God or in the uncertainty of wealth. 

So, what does it look like to honor and trust God with our finances? To be generous in a way that honors God. The writers of the New Testament give us 4 words to guide our generosity:

Worshipful. Generosity is an act of worship.

Every time we are generous, we are worshiping. Every time we aren’t generous, we are worshiping. 

Being generous with our time, talents, and treasure shows that we believe everything belongs to God and worship him. As Paul tells us in 1 Timothy 6, we place our hope in God. 

But when we are stingy and hold our time, talents, and treasures tightly, we worship something else. That might be security, more prestige, our kids’ sports calendars, etc. 

But Paul tells us every action and decision is an act of worship, either towards God or towards the uncertainty of wealth. 

When we are generous, we are reminding ourselves who owns everything. We are stewarding what God owns and has entrusted to us.

When we share our finances, time, and talents with those around us, we worship and give glory to God, who gave us these things to use. 

Proportional. The word tithe means “tenth,” and the practice of giving 10% back to God comes from this. If you aren’t giving back to God and want to move forward in generosity, that is a great place to start, but not where to end.

What is proportional for one person isn’t for another.

Each year, Katie and I pray through upping our percentage of what we give back to God.

Not only because generosity is the first step to contentment.

But have you ever met someone generous and miserable? I haven’t. They’re always happy.

The same happens with time and talent. Each person has different amounts of time they can give in each stage of life. Your time allocation is different in your teens, your 30’s, and your 60’s. 

Sacrificial. Giving away $100 might be a lot for one person, but not for another.

Giving should stretch us. It should change us and our priorities. 

In many ways, it should make us go ouch. That is what sacrifice means. It hurts a little bit. It pushes us and challenges us.

That is what generosity should do.

Andy Stanley said, Giving 10% makes many people uncomfortable, extremely uncomfortable. But then, so is a colonoscopy, and those save countless lives.

Being uncomfortable isn’t bad.

Discomfort is sometimes the thing we need to grow in our faith. 

Intentional. This means you planned it. It didn’t just happen.

In 2 Corinthians 9, when Paul talks about generosity, he says that each person should decide in their heart.

This means you decide in advance.

I encourage everyone in our church to give using automated giving on the giving envelope. It means you decide in advance.

Here’s the question for us: Is your giving worshipful, proportional, sacrificial, and intentional?

One Surprising Way God Speaks to Us

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One of the biggest questions people wrestle with as they navigate the existence of God concerns pain, evil, and disappointment. Often, the question will be asked, “How could a loving God allow such pain and evil and injustice in our world? Why doesn’t he stop it?”

I’ll admit, this question has caused a lot of questions and struggle in my own heart and mind. 

And while we often ask these questions on a large macro scale about the world, this question boils down to our immediate worlds: Why does a follower of Jesus get cancer? Why does a couple who loves Jesus struggle to conceive, and then when they get pregnant, they have a miscarriage? Why did that person betray me? Why did that person hurt me? Why is it so hard to make ends meet?

In March, we’re doing a series on the book of Habakkuk called “Wrestling with God,” and I’ve talked about this topic here, here, and here

On Sunday, we spent some time walking through what God says to this question in Malachi 2:17-3:5, but the place Malachi takes us is surprising: What does our response to evil, disappointment, and injustice say about us?

What is God trying to reveal to me in my anger at injustice?

To help us think through this, I want you to consider an injustice you see in the world around you and think, “Someone should do something about that.” Do you have it?

Now, have you ever noticed that often the thing that keeps us up at night, the injustice we see, not everyone sees that injustice. Often, the thing we think, “someone should do something about that”, other people see that and shrug their shoulders. 

It isn’t that they don’t see or are callous to it, although that can be true. It might be that God is speaking to you on that. God wants you to step into something. That’s why your heart aches. 

I think our anger at injustice often reveals the places where God is calling us to make a difference.

How we Cope with Life and What that Reveals about Us

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Almost everyone I talk to right now is stressed, worried, and overwhelmed. Whether that is because of finances, struggles with jobs, or their views on the government, the news, ICE, etc. 

Most of us feel angry, anxious, and unsure what to do. 

When life is hard, what do you do? 

When you scroll through social media and feel that weight on your chest or that pain in your neck and jaw, where do you turn?

What we do in that moment says a lot about us. 

What we do reveals what we look to for hope and healing. 

Some of us work some more, binge a show, have another glass of wine, take a nap, or do a hard workout. Some of our outlets are helpful and healthy, and others are destructive to us. 

In Malachi 3, the prophet lists out some of the things we do when life is hard. As we go through them, look for where your response shows up: 

Sorcery: This is leading people astray, leading yourself astray. In our world today, this can lead to believing lies online or conspiracy theories. We find a lot of comfort in these places as the algorithms give us what we want. 

This can also be seen when you start turning away from the wisdom of the Bible toward self-help, positive thinking, and things you want to believe are true. Mixing some biblical wisdom with some from your favorite podcast, something from over here, and boom: you have your own religion that seems true to you. 

We lie to ourselves when we say, “This is just how the world is, this is why I am the way I am, this is why I can’t change, this is why my marriage isn’t great, this is why I’m lazy, this is why I’m broke.”

Adultery: This is sex outside of marriage of any kind. Fantasies, cheating on your spouse, porn, romance novels. Anything that causes you to fantasize about someone you are not married to is sin. 

That’s not holiness. 

As our lives spin out of control, we might look for online relationships to fill a void or someone we work with, or someone in our minds. 

Lying: Whether lying to ourselves, others, or believing lies we see in the world. Too many of us are not living honest lives. 

Gaming the system: This can be seen in things that are legal, but not biblical. It could be not really working hard but getting paid, walking away from a house because it isn’t worth what it used to be, working for cash and not noting it on your taxes, not paying your employees what they are worth. 

Things you can do, but defame the name of God.

Oppressing those in need: When life hurts, we start to look out for ourselves. We overlook those who are broken and start looking inward, yet by serving those around us, we can get out of the cloud of our brokenness.

Mistreating people: When life is hard, it is easy to mistreat people. A spouse, kids, and people we work with. We start to look out for ourselves, much like oppressing those in need. 

Not fearing God: this is under all of these sins, not trusting God, not believing in Him, not following Him.

Which one is your go-to move when life is out of control? 

How to Set the Right Priorities This Year

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Our priorities come from the love we seek. 

This simple statement has been a helpful grid for me to evaluate many things in my life: how I spend my money and time, which opportunities to say yes or no to, how I parent and handle friendships, and more. 

We all want love from something or someone. 

It might be a parent who determines our priorities. 

It might be a child, so our priority is to sign them up for every activity.  

It might be a boss, a teacher, or a spouse. 

It might be what someone thinks of us, so that drives.

If you want to know what kind of love you are seeking, look at how you spend your time and money. That will give a very quick picture of who in your life is at the top of your list. 

Our priorities determine how we spend our time, money, and energy, who we hang out with, who we vote for, and where we live. Our priorities determine everything about our lives.

And this is important: Our priorities aren’t what we say they are, but what we actually do. 

How I spent my time and money shows my priorities. 

We may say our priorities are God when it comes to our finances, but if we aren’t generous, if we don’t give back to God, then we’re lying to ourselves. 

We talk about how community or family matters while working 70 hours a week. 

We talk about how much health or sleep matter when eating 3,000 calories a day, sleeping 6 hours a night, and living on fast food and energy drinks. 

We say our relationship with God is a priority, yet we don’t read our Bibles or spend any time listening to God’s voice. 

We say our marriage is a priority, yet we never have a date night or a getaway with our spouse. 

We say emotional and mental health is a priority, and then we never wrestle with our story or go to counseling. 

As a follower of Jesus, the love that I seek is already found in Jesus (Ephesians 1:4). 

Living in the truth of God’s love for us can be difficult to pin down. For many of us, we believe it in our heads, but struggle to get his love into our hearts. We know that our emotions can lie to us, but what do we do when we don’t feel God’s love? How do we keep that front and center in our lives to live from our true identity in Christ?

In his book, Wiser With Jesus: Overcoming the Temptations that Hinder Your Relationships, Steal Your Time, Mar Your Decision–Making and Thwart Your Purpose, Zach Eswine gives 6 ways to live our lives from the truth of God’s love for us: 

God’s love prioritizes what we set our minds on, helping us persevere (1 Corinthians 13:1-8). 

God’s love frames our prayers for each other (Ephesians 3:18-19). 

God’s love anchors our identity (Galatians 2:20). 

God’s love prompts our repentance (Romans 2:4). 

God’s love empowers our obedience (Ephesians 5:1). 

God’s love enables us to make it through no matter what (Romans 8:35-39). 

My Favorite Books of 2025

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At the end of the year, many of us reflect on what we did and didn’t love. Many people create their end-of-year lists, and I always share my favorite books.

Because I was continuing my doctoral project, much of my reading centered on that. I was able to fit in some other books as well!

To see everything I read this year, go here.

If you’re curious about past years’ lists, click on the numbers: 201220132014, 201520162018, 2019, 20202021, 20222023, and 2024.

Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership: Seeking God in the Crucible of Ministry by Ruth Haley Barton. I read this book years ago and revisited it for school this year. It is so rich. It walks through the life of Moses and how this applies ot leaders today. So many nuggets in this book. Especially around the ideas of loneliness and the wilderness that we all walk through. If you are in a dark or hard place, this is a great book to read, whether you are a leader or not. 

Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership: Seeking God in the Crucible of Ministry (Transforming Resources): Barton, Ruth Haley, Haugen, Gary A., Ford, Leighton, Ford, Leighton, Barton, Ruth Haley, Haugen, Gary A., Haugen,

The Expectation Gap: The Tiny, Vast Space between Our Beliefs and Experience of God by Steve Cuss. I didn’t get to too many books this year that weren’t for school, but this was one of them. I listen to Steve’s podcast regularly, so I was familiar with some of its material. But walking through it was so helpful. Seeing the gaps between what I expect from God and how that affects my relationship with Him is so important for people to understand. 

The Expectation Gap: The Tiny, Vast Space between Our Beliefs and Experience of God: Cuss, Steve: 9780310156376: Amazon.com: Books

Healing What’s Within: Coming Home to Yourself–and to God–When You’re Wounded, Weary, and Wandering by Chuck DeGroat. Chuck DeGroat has quickly become a favorite author of mine, and I’ve tried to read all of his works. As much of my year was spent on school or sermon reading, the books I read just for me focused on my inner world, my story, and the things I am still growing in that relate to it. This book was invaluable to that end. Highly recommend it if you find yourself, as DeGroat says, “wounded, weary or wandering.”

Healing What’s Within

The Women by Kristin Hannah. I’ve heard about this book for years, but I had never read it. Wow is all I can say. This book was so powerful and hard to put down, and I stayed up way too late reading it many nights. 

Amazon.com: The Women: A Novel: 9781250178633: Hannah, Kristin: Books

Year of Slowing Down by Alan Fadling.  I used this devotional over the last couple of years. I would read some most mornings after my bible reading. I went through it slowly because there were a lot of things I needed to hear and reread, as I don’t slow down very well. If slowing down is difficult for you, this is a great devotional to use. 

A Year of Slowing Down

Tempered Resilience: How Leaders are Formed in the Crucible of Change by Tod Bolsinger. This was a re-read for me. Tod is my advisor for my doctoral project, and this was one of the books we had to read this past year. It was a reread for me, but I’ve come to love rereading great books. It reminds me of things I’ve grown into, things I still need to grow into, and new insights, because I’m in a different place in life. If you are a leader, this is an essential book because it walks through how leaders change and what needs to happen for leaders to change. Without the leader changing, they will struggle to lead change. 

Tempered Resilience

Open by Andre Agassi. This was another book that I heard about for years but had never read. I don’t know why it took me so long. His story and what he walked through were a wild ride to read. 

Open by Andre Agassi | Goodreads

Fahrenheit-182: A Humorous and Inspirational Memoir by Mark Hoppus. This was like reliving some of my high school and college days reading this one. The stories of Blink-182, what they walked through, and the shows and stories were hilarious to remember. If you are a fan of Blink, this is definitely one you should read!

Fahrenheit-182

Make Sense of Your Story: Why Engaging Your Past with Kindness Changes Everything by Adam Young. If I had to name one book as my favorite book of the year, this is it. This is connected to my ongoing exploration of my inner world and to wrestling with parts of my story. I have really appreciated how Young talks about our stories, engaging them especially as parents, and how to do so with kindness, as that is how God engages us, and that God’s kindness is what leads us to repentance.

Make Sense of Your Story: Why Engaging Your Past with Kindness Changes Everything: Adam Young, Allender, Dr. Dan: 9781540903754: Amazon.com: Books

In case you need some fun novels to read over Christmas Break, here are some of my favorite ones:

Wolf Trap by Connor Sullivan

Proof by Jon Cowan 

The First Gentleman by James Patterson 

An Inside Job by Daniel Silva (still my favorite novel series)

 

Why Hope is So Hard to Have at Christmas

Photo by Haberdoedas on Unsplash

As we walk through the season of Advent, we begin to hear more and more about hope. 

But like joy, hope is often hard to define and hard to know if we have it. 

Many of us confuse hope and optimism. We use words like: wish, desire, want, and dream. But hope isn’t any of those things. 

But hope is everywhere in our daily lives, especially at Christmas: 

  • I hope it doesn’t rain today. 
  • I hope we get a white Christmas. 
  • I hope I get engaged at Christmas!
  • I hope they win the championship. 
  • I hope we don’t fight at Christmas. 
  • I hope our kids get along. 
  • I hope we don’t get sick this week. 
  • I hope our kids sleep past 6 am on Christmas morning. 

When life, relationships, our jobs, or our health don’t go the way we hoped, we try to protect ourselves by becoming cynical or by deadening our desires. We think, “Maybe if I want this less, it won’t hurt as much.” So, we try to want marriage or kids less. We try to want to be retired a little less. We try to stop dreaming about that house or dream job. But all that does is make us want something more, and the heartache grows. 

In Advent, we can bring our longings and yearnings to God. We don’t have to hold them in. I love what Tish Harrison Warren says about hope: Christian hope is not a “whistling in the dark,” a way to minimize the stark facts of reality. It is a conviction about the ultimate outcome of history, which is not in jeopardy: Jesus Christ has conquered sin and death.

In Advent, we are told that our hope is assured. Peter writes in 1 Peter: Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Because of his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead and into an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you.

Our inheritance is assured in Christ. 

But why is hope so hard for us? Especially at Christmas?

Adam Young, in his excellent book Make Sense of Your Story, said, “The biggest reason we hate hope is that hope forces us to wrestle with God.”

Hope forces us to come to God and say, “This is what you promised. This isn’t the way it’s supposed to be. This isn’t supposed to hurt this much.”

When we do that, and when you read the people of Scripture from Jonah, Abraham, Elizabeth, Sarah, Moses, Paul, the list goes on, you find men and women who have wrestled with God. 

But that’s only the first step to hope. 

The second step, then, is to surrender to God. And this is so, so hard.

Dan Allender said, “The word surrender implies there has already been a long, drawn-out, bloody war. You can’t surrender until you have fought with God. In war, you don’t surrender until there is no hope left for accomplishing your objective and defeating your enemy. You fight until you have no strength left to fight any longer. Surrender only comes in the moment of exhaustion.”

In Advent, we come to God and say, “I’m tired. I’m exhausted from fighting for hope,” and we throw ourselves on the mercy of God. 

Advent reminds us that we can take off our armor, we can cry out, “God, I am hopeless,” and know that He meets us.

And some of us need to stop pretending to have hope. We need to be honest with ourselves and someone close to us.