10 Lessons from “Build”

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Recently I read Build: An Unorthodox Guide to Making Things Worth Making by Tony Fadell. It’s part memoir, part leadership & organizational book. One that is worth picking up if you are a leader or a pastor. Many lessons are wrapped up in the story of his life and leadership. 

Here are a few that stood out to me:

The best way to find a job you’ll love and a career that will eventually make you successful is to follow what you’re naturally interested in, then take risks when choosing where to work. He spends a lot of time talking about how to get started in life and your career. He said all the stuff they don’t and can’t teach you in college – how to thrive in the workplace, create something unique, deal with managers, and eventually become one – it all slaps you in the face the second you step off campus. No matter how much you learn in school, you still need to get the equivalent of a Ph.D. in navigating the rest of the world and building something meaningful. You have to try and fail and learn by doing. He goes on. So when looking at the array of potential careers before you, the correct place to start is this: “What do I want to learn?”

When you’re in your thirties and forties, the window begins to close for most people. Your decisions can no longer be entirely your own. That’s okay, too – great even – but it’s different. The people who depend on you will shape and influence your choices. We know this as we age, but we take extra chances when we’re younger.

The way I made decisions in my 20s isn’t how I make decisions in my 40s because my life is different. I’m going after other goals, and different things matter to me. In my 20’s, I focused more on building my platform and career. In my 40’s, I’m more focused on my kids and the people they are becoming.

It is crucial as we age to evaluate how we make decisions, what drives us, and what our willingness to take risks is.

Customers need to see that your product solves a real problem they have today – not one they may have in some distant future. Pastors need to think about this more when they preach. What is the tension your sermon speaks to? This doesn’t mean that should drive your sermon, but can you articulate what problem your sermon will solve? Do you tell people what it will solve?

Meetings should be structured to get you and the team as much clarity as possible. We’ve all sat in meetings that accomplished very little, that wasted time, or left us confused. The whole section on meetings was an excellent reminder for me. Does everyone leave a meeting with as much clarity as possible? Asking, “Are we clear on everything, and who will do what?”

A great deal of management comes down to managing your fears and anxieties. The longer I lead, the more I see how my past affects me. Now, your past can be a great teacher to make sure that you choose the right path in the future. But, if you don’t deal with your past, it will have a way of rearing its head in your present and potentially harm your future.

Many pastors and leaders make decisions based on their fear and anxieties without realizing it.

You must consistently check to see if you are acting out or making decisions out of your fears and anxieties. How much are they playing a role in your daily life?

You must pause and clearly articulate the “why” before convincing anyone to care about the “what.” Years ago, one of my jobs when I joined a team, was to find out the “why” behind what the church did. I spent months meeting with leaders, teams, and departments, asking, “why do you do what you do? Why did this ministry start? Why do we keep doing it?” Do you know what I found? Most people at that church could not articulate why they did what they did; they couldn’t articulate why they started something, only “what” they did.

What matters, it matters a lot. But, as Simon Sinek pointed out years ago, the why will always win the day, and you need to start there.

Many churches, teams, and companies can tell you what they do, but that isn’t as important as why you do something. Leaders must be clear and ensure their teams understand why they do something.

You cannot be afraid to disrupt the thing that made you successful in the first place. This is a hard lesson for leaders, no matter who they are. Especially if you created the thing that makes you successful, leaders must consistently ensure that what “got them there” doesn’t hold them back from what is next. This is why continuing to return to “why” you do something is so important.

If you have fifty people who understand your culture and add a hundred who don’t, you will lose that culture. It’s just math. The longer I lead anything, the more critical I see the culture of a church. The culture of the church decides what gets done and what is essential. Culture is how things happen. You can have the greatest strategy or ministry idea, but it will only be effective if your culture doesn’t fight against that.

The CEO sets the tone for the company – every team looks to the CEO and the exec team to see what’s most critical and what they need to pay attention to. This took me too long to learn. I used to think that if I said the right things, people would know what to do, but I’ve learned that my actions tell people what matters. Does starting on time matter? What things do I check and double-check? What stats do I check? Those things tell my team and our church what matters most.

Then as you lead, “Your team amplifies your mood.” Your team takes what you think is essential and passes it on. If you want to change your church, you must decide what is critical and start paying attention to that and amplifying that. 

How to Keep Your Marriage Special

Let’s face it, when you date someone, you make things special. You think up incredible dates, time a picnic to watch a sunset or drive to the beach to see the sunrise. You scout out museums, new places to eat or grab coffee.

When you get married, this continues before you have kids.

You make big gestures like new jewelry, a big purchase your spouse has been eyeing, dream vacations and honeymoons. Maybe even decorating a new house or your first condo.

Then kids come along.

All of a sudden what used to be special is pretty ordinary.

Your birthday budget is now spent on throwing the extravagant toddler party. As they get older, an arm and a leg must be spent to take your kids and all their friends to the trampoline place. Family vacations take the place of that romantic getaway. Those big gifts and fun purchases are replaced by backpacks, a new toaster, shoes for the kids, camp or car repairs.

All of a sudden you’re not only ordinary, but it is now not romantic and not fun.

Many couples hit a wall in this spot.

The place of romantic gestures moves from being big and extravagant, posting all over Instagram, to ordinary, smaller gestures of romance. This feels uncreative, less loving and not as amazing as it used to be.

It also takes more planning and thinking, and this is why many couples fail.

If you have $500 to spend on an anniversary gift, the ideas are endless. It is simply picking between three amazing ideas, and then you could even stretch it to $600 or $750. They’ll understand because who’s going to be mad about spending a little more when you’ve already spent that much? Compare that to $25 or $50 to spend. Now what? How do you make that special?

This is a struggle for men because we like big gestures. Men also believe their wives only like big gestures. Don’t get me wrong, your wife likes big gestures. But she likes small, everyday gestures of love, too. Maybe even more. If you were to ask your wife is she would like one big gesture of love each year or small gestures each day, I bet she’ll pick the daily one.

What does this look like?

Right now you probably think you know what your spouse would like, but in all probability you have no idea. So ask.

Here are some examples: snuggling, giving a kiss good bye and hello each day, holding hands, cleaning up after yourself or pitching in, spontaneously making out, something they weren’t expecting (lunch out, a pastry from their favorite shop, a coffee in the middle of the afternoon), a text that says I’m thinking of you.

Yes, five day trips to the beach are amazing. Sleeping in and staying up late with your spouse is incredible. If you have kids, those days have hit pause. They’ll return, but only if you learn how to make your marriage special in everyday, ordinary ways.

Why Marriage Is Better Than Cohabitation & 6 Other Posts You Should Read this Weekend

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Here are 7 posts I came across this week that challenged my thinking or helped me as a leader, pastor, husband and father. I hope they help you too:

  1. 7 Things Pastors Should Do Every Monday by Kevin Lloyd
  2. 7 Characteristics Of Volunteer Leaders Pastors Should Want In Decision-Making Roles by Brian Dodd
  3. 5 Words which Can Keep a Church From Growing by Ron Edmondson
  4. Why Marriage Is Better Than Cohabitation by Tim Challies
  5. What The Movie ‘Sully’ Can Teach Us About Leadership by Forbes
  6. 5 Unique Books That Are Loved by Successful Entrepreneurs by Inc.
  7. 36 Years Of Ministry: One-on-One With Erwin Lutzer

Keeping People is Easier than Finding People

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There is an idea in business that marketers know well: it is cheaper to keep customers than it is to find new ones. The same goes for employees. It is cheaper to keep employees than to find new ones and train them.

Recently, the church I lead changed banks. The reason was simple: we didn’t get good service at our bank. They made mistakes and things that should’ve been easy were difficult and time consuming.

So we switched.

When we went to close the accounts, the manager came over and said how sorry he was to see us go and if anything changed he’d love to have our business back.

All I could think of was, you had our business. You lost our business.

As soon as he was done saying that and we were closing the account we were told there would be a $10 closing fee.

A fee to close the account.

When we asked the teller if they could waive it, she said no.

We’ll never go back to that bank.

While churches don’t have customers, they have congregants, members or parishioners (insert whatever your tradition calls them). I think churches could benefit from some business thinking on this.

Too many churches think that people will just stay at their church, but that is not reality. For the most part, Americans have a number of options when it comes to religion. Not just other churches, but sleeping in, being outside, kids sports.

I’m not saying a church should create a loyalty program with benefits like Amazon does with Prime, but churches can and should strive for loyalty.

Here are some questions I think churches and leaders should think through:

  1. What can we do that no one else can do? When churches lose loyalty, it is because they don’t know what they are great at. Companies that have strong loyalty, know what they are good at.
  2. How can we create ownership and identity in our church? Strong company loyalty also comes with a cult following. Take Apple, a hipster coffee place or Amazon. They have created ownership where their customers will not think about going somewhere else. Your church can and should be the same way.
  3. How can we focus on the “customer?” I’m blown away by the extent that companies like Google and Amazon go to making the user a priority. Google seems to hate other businesses and is in business solely for the user experience. Churches should have that same focus and passion, in it for the people.

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How to Use Evernote for Pastors

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After writing about how I was done using an iPad to read, I got several questions about how to use filing systems, Evernote, capturing quotes and highlights on kindle so that you can retrieve them easily. For leaders and pastors, Evernote is a life saver, but you have to use well or else it can become a black hole of forgotten things.

There are two resources that I would recommend looking through if you are going to use Evernote well. The first is, Evernote Essentials: The Definitive Guide for New Evernote Users by Brett Kelly and A Guide to Evernote for Pastors by Ron Edmondson.

Here are 3 ways to use Evernote well:

  1. Make useful notebooks on Evernote. The first thing you need to do after creating an Evernote account is create useful notebooks. I have notebooks for every book of the Bible, topics (leadership, preaching, etc.), current event issues (technology, gay marriage, immigration, etc.) as well as a notebook for future blog post ideas and sermon series ideas. One of the mistakes many people make is not having Evernote prepared to work. You can simply throw everything into Evernote and search for it later, but I think it loses some of its power then. Your notebooks need to be sorted for you needs and centered around the topics you care about or will need in the future.
  2. Get the Chrome Add On. Online, I use the Chrome add on for Evernote. It then sits in the top right corner of my browser and whenever I come across a blog post, talk, quote, picture or article that I want to save to a folder, I simply click the button and it goes right to my Evernote. I can choose the notebook that I want it go in and it is there forever. So, when I know I am preaching on a topic in 8 months and find a great blog article, I simply save it to that notebook for future use and move on.
  3. Go to kindle highlights online. If you are reading books on Kindle, Evernote is your friend when it comes to highlights. Simply google Amazon kindle highlights and click on the link. You’ll follow this page and click on “your highlights.” The latest book you highlighted will be at the top. Simply click your Chrome Add on and it will then be placed in the notebook(s) of your choice. You are all set to find it whenever you need.

You’re Growing. Do More.

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There is an assumption that as your church grows, to keep growing you have to add more things. Do more.

Once you pass 200, add more programs so you can grow.

Recently someone told me, “Revolution needs to do more because _____ Church does _____ and they are bigger than you.”

It is an easy trap to fall into.

Starbucks tried it.

They sold coffee. Got big. Started doing breakfast sandwiches, which kind of worked but then the Howard Schultz took back over because Starbucks forgot who it was. Now they sell wine and food at some stores. The jury on that is still out.

I had another pastor tell me that when Revolution gets bigger I’ll have to rethink our position on not having a men’s and women’s ministry.

Why?

Because when you grow, you have to do more.

So the thinking goes.

The problem with doing more is that it simply becomes more.

I lead a simple church. Which means, we don’t do a lot. It isn’t because we can’t, but because we choose not to.

Singles ministry, senior adult ministries, women’s ministries, classes, concerts, coffee shops, book clubs, knitting ministries, camping ministries, ministries to people who want more ministries. We just don’t.

For a few reasons:

1. It creates clarity. I believe one of the reasons people don’t get plugged into a church is because they aren’t sure which step to take. Is this class, that ministry, that program the next step? What if I take the wrong step? When people are paralyzed, they give up. When barriers are in place and things are unclear, they don’t take a step.

2. If people are at church, they aren’t on mission. Missional happens in daily life. It can and does happen at church, but we display God’s love to the world around when we’re in the world around us. If we are always in a class, at a church program, we aren’t rubbing shoulders with people who don’t know Jesus. Instead of starting a church softball league, join a softball league with a bunch of people who drink and swear and live the gospel in front of them.

3. Busyness is rarely positive. Laziness is not healthy or a good thing, but Americans have this idea that the busier I am, the more successful I’m being ore the more right I’m doing. We feel guilty if our calendar isn’t packed but when it is, we wish we were doing less. Church is the same way. Just because your church calendar is full does not mean you are moving the ball down the field, you might just be spinning your wheels and not accomplishing a lot.

4. The things you do communicate what matters. Everything your church does, no matter how small or big, no matter how much or how little communicates what matters most. If you do a lot, have 118 ministries for a church of 200 people (I knew of a church with this), you communicate what matters. Everything says to everyone, “This matters, this is our mission.” As a leader, you then need to be careful what you choose.

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Answering Questions No one is Asking

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One thing churches and pastors seem to do very well is answer questions no one is asking. 

Pastors spend years in a sermon series that was 60 weeks too long. All in an effort to be deeper or more gospel centered, we show off our theological fortitude and drown our churches in information that doesn’t lead to transformation.

We teach evangelism classes and tell people to read apologetics books on important theological issues: deity of Christ, the resurrection of Jesus and the end of the world, yet most people outside the church aren’t asking those questions. They want to know how to talk to their spouse, how to raise their kids, get out of debt, let go of a past hurt, not whether the left behind series is correct.

Companies do this too. Recently as Apple got beat up by Samsung for essentially copying their phone 2 years later, but Samsung misses why people buy an iPhone. Someone who loves Apple doesn’t care of Samsung made that phone 2 years ago, if they did, they would already have a Samsung phone.

I recently went into sports store to buy workout chalk since I ran out. I wanted to get a block of it and put it in a bucket so it wouldn’t make a mess on the floor of my garage when I used it. The store I went into, I asked if they had chalk and they guy beamed and said, “Yes, right here. You can shake it on your hands instead of having a block.” This was exactly what I wanted to avoid, but he didn’t ask so I went to a different store and he missed a sale.

So as a church or a pastor, how do you answer questions people are actually asking? Here are a few ideas:

  1. Ask questions. Ask people you are trying to reach questions to learn from them. Ask them what is hard or difficult. Listen to them when they talk about their jobs and their lives. Many pastors are not good listeners in social situations.
  2. Spend time with unchurched people. Many Christians are isolated from unchurched people and let’s face it, pastors are often terrible friends. Spend time in their house, have them into your house and be around them. You will be amazed at what you will pick up by simply being in the same room as someone who doesn’t follow Jesus.
  3. Read blogs, magazines and watch movies for the purpose of learning. Many people and leaders simply ingest culture and media without thinking, yet blogs, movies, shows, what people say on shows gives us a great window into what our culture thinks and the questions and reservations they have around the gospel. Often when I watch a debate show, I ask what I would say to the person about that issue, a person who maybe has no reverence for the Bible.

Bottom line, if you want to be relevant and help people begin a relationship with Jesus, we must start with where they are and answer the questions they are asking, not the ones we think they are asking.

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Questions to ask Yourself about Electronics

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Many in our culture act as if electronics, social media and TV are neutral. They are simply there. That is naive at best. Electronics are not neutral. They dictate our lives, pump us with more desire for approval, and often help us waste time and miss out on relationships with family and friends. They can keep us from work and ultimately, run our lives and ruin our lives.

Below are some helpful questions from Living into Focus: Choosing What Matters in an Age of Distractions by Arthur Boers to ask yourself about your relationship with electronics:

Attention: What is the primary and ongoing focus of our awareness? Screens and virtual relationships? Family and neighbors? Voyeuristic television “reality shows”? Nature and our surrounding environment? Is our capacity to pay attention, dwell, and be aware diminishing? Are we so overwhelmed with information and stimulation that our ability to respond is affected? Are we moving from receptivity to expecting to control what we perceive?

Limits: What guides our sense of what is appropriate? Do we have the moral strength to recognize when something is beyond the pale and that we need to say no? Or does technology, which makes more and more things possible, including voyeurism, pornography, and gambling, also make all things permissible? Which taboos are worth guarding? How does technology free us from moral constraints and accountability? What is the relationship of technology to addictions? How does technology reinforce addictions? How is technology itself addictive?

Engagement: How are we coping with life and its challenges? Do we approach our day and those we love with calm anticipation, eager to be and work together? Or do such rushed and harried attention spans lead us into being demanding and curt? How does technology speed encounters, making conflicts and misunderstandings more likely? Does planned and perceived obsolescence contribute to eroding commitments?

Relationships: Do our lives include rich networks of loved ones, supportive friends, caring confidants, and casual acquaintances? Are there people who know us in our fullness, care about our hardships, and challenge us to grow in virtue? Or are our lives characterized by growing isolation and loneliness, our relationships dispersed and fragmented? What are the implications of having relationships increasingly mediated by technology while opportunities for face-to-face conversations decline and in-the-flesh friendships decrease? How does technology reinforce casual approaches to relationships, ones that are easy to enter or exit but do not necessarily sustain? What kinds of communities are created by our technology use?

Time: Do we have a sense that there is enough room in our lifestyles for the things that truly matter—work and play, rigor and rest, love and laughter? Or are we too busy to live according to our deepest and highest priorities? Do distracting demands and pressures lure us away from our highest values? How does engagement with technology make us busier? And how does technology erode and displace opportunities to pause and determine, reflect on, and honor ultimate priorities? Space: How well connected are we with the geography and places where we are located? Are we rooted in neighborhoods, connected to the earth and our environment? Or is much of our life lived abstractly in “virtual” reality?

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