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How a Church Falls

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Have you ever seen a church fall?

We’ve seen leaders fall, but what about churches? Once, they were growing, healthy, seeing people come to faith and grow in maturity, and then, seemingly overnight, that wasn’t happening. At first, the people in the church are completely unaware of it. Giving or attendance may dip a little bit, but leaders explain it away. But slowly, if you look closer, you see that the church has lost hundreds of people in a few years.

But why?

Because a church loses its way, they didn’t do it on purpose, but slowly, they did.

Years ago, I read a fantastic book by Jim Collins called How the Mighty Fall. In it, he lays out how companies fall, and often, they fall, and they are completely unaware of it. While the book has a lot of insights for pastors and churches, there are some clear reasons a church falls.

But how does a church fall?

You could say it’s when they lose their purpose, take their eyes off Jesus, and focus on man, buildings, money, etc. But the reality is that a church can do that and not fall. They can keep growing, reaching people, and doing things. It is often, in looking back, that we see a church has fallen. 

We could say it is through metrics. When attendance or giving drops, salvation, and baptisms drop, a church has fallen. But that can also be a seasonal thing, a situation or crisis the church is going through that needs to be weathered. 

The other day, I found myself in 2 Kings 17 in my daily reading. At the top of my building is a heading that reads “Why Israel Fell.” As I read it, the comparisons for churches were striking. The writer of 2 Kings lays out 3 reasons why Israel fell, and I think have profound implications for pastors and churches. 

Here they are: 

3 things that lead to a decline in the church.

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Doing what is right in their own eyes. This is a common refrain in the Old Testament, specifically the book of Judges. The people fall away when they do what is right in their own eyes. When this line appears in Scripture, you know that sin is a major part of people’s lives: idol worship, forgetting the work of God, and moving away from God’s commandments. 

Churches do this when they start doing things to gain a crowd instead of forming people in the likeness of Jesus. This happens within church communities when sin abounds, people are in conflict, and it isn’t resolved, gossip runs rampant, and people are divisive around things they shouldn’t be about. 

Repeating the past and not learning from it. One of the biggest struggles for a church in decline is to try to recapture the glory days or when things were working in a church. The thinking goes if we can get back to what we were doing, then everything will be okay, or we will return to what it was. Or, if we can do the ministries we used to do, we will be where we used to be. And while that can be true, it rarely is. Those ministries and how they were being done can often be what led to the decline. 

Recapturing the past or the glory days will rarely turn a church in decline around.

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To move forward and keep a church from decline, it must move into the new season that God has for it. We must celebrate and remember what God did in the past but not cling to it. 

The other trap the church falls into is not learning from the past. Often, when a church goes through a difficult season, it is easy to pin that season on one person or a group of people without looking under the hood of the church to ask how that happened or what is in the DNA of the church that might need to be dealt with. Churches have origin stories, like families, and there are things within the emotional system of a church that will continue to be passed down if they aren’t dealt with. 

Not doing the will of God. The last thing a church that falls does, and this will be obvious, but not doing the will of God. The Bible is clear on what the church should be about and focused on. Yet, many churches find themselves not doing those things because of what they think or want churches to do or because the church down the road does it or has this ministry or that one. Also, churches overlook the season God has their church in and want to fight against it. When that happens, it only leads to hurt feelings and frustrations. 

3 things churches do that lead to decline and frustration.

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When Grace Isn’t What You Expected

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grace

I’m reading The Wilderking Trilogy to my kids, which is based on the life of King David. There is a great line in the second book where the prophet describes King Darrow (representing King Saul), and he says about him, “He’s thrown away the grace he was given because it’s not the grace he had in mind.”

He’s thrown away the grace he was given because it’s not the grace he had in mind.

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I think this happens so easily to us in real life. Grace is extended to us by God and by others, but it often doesn’t take the form we expect or turn out how we expected it.

Many times we want grace that doesn’t involve consequences, but there are consequences to our actions. Grace is given to us by God in the form of gifts and talents he’s given to us, but we often refuse them by not developing them or wishing we had different talents and gifts (i.e., Why can’t I be a better speaker or more organized like so-and-so?).

At the same time, when we extend grace, we have expectations for it, and we miss the beauty of grace. We want someone to feel more sorry than they are or we want retribution while giving the impression of grace.

While grace gives us the chance to start over and make things new, grace doesn’t take away the hurt of a situation or the memory. It is still there. It is still part of our journey and story. Yet grace gives us the chance in starting new for that situation or memory to no longer be who we are.

This is crucial and often missed.

What to do when grace isn’t what you expected.

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I think this makes grace so difficult to handle and live in. Our hurt, memory, bitterness and identity become so wrapped up in what happened. We struggle to separate a hurt or sin from our identity and we miss the grace extended to us.

This is what makes grace amazing and why we sing about it and why grace is central to the message of Jesus. Grace does what we can’t do, what we hope will happen but never thought possible.

Grace gives us a new start, a new chapter. Grace is that picture of the page turning and things not being as they were, but as God intended.

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3 Reasons You Won’t Slow Down

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Psalm 46:10 is an often quoted verse. It says, Be still and know that I am God. It’s on coffee mugs, posters, greeting cards. It is an invitation to experience God, to rest, slow down.

It is also an invitation that I and many others reject on a daily basis.

Our rejection of this invitation is interesting because of how tired most Americans are, how worn out we are, how run down we are from living life. You would think, the invitation from God for us to be still and know that He is God would be a welcome invitation.

But we reject it.

First off, to be still and know that He is God means I need to admit that I am not God. I have to admit there are things outside of my control. Things I can’t do. Things I can’t handle. There are people and situations I cannot control. This is not a facade many of us are willing to give up any time soon. We know we aren’t in control, but we are content to live with the idea that we might be.

Second, for me to be still means I am going to have to stop. Which means, slowing down, stopping things, resting. The reason most Americans don’t Sabbath and rest isn’t because we don’t know how to or aren’t very good at it. We don’t rest and slow down because we don’t want to. As long as we are busy, we don’t have to think about what is broken in our lives. We don’t have to think about that situation from 10 years ago we are trying to forget that we have never dealt with. Being still often means facing our sin. Being still gives God the opportunity to speak to us. As long as we are moving, we are able to drown Him out and not think about those broken places in our lives.

Third, is the crucial word know. Most of the time, when we talk about faith in God or a lack of faith, it all has to do with our feelings. We talk about not feeling in love as a reason for divorce. We don’t feel God’s love, so it must not be real is a comment I’ve heard countless times. But, Psalm 46 tells us to know that He is God. Not feel. Feelings are fleeting and easy to dismiss. Knowing means I must slow down to ask, “What do I know about God? Looking at the world around me, what does that say about God? How have I seen God be faithful to redeem other things in my life, why not this thing I won’t give up?”

Rest is an acknowledgement that God is God while you stop.

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We don’t slow down, not because we can’t or don’t have time. We don’t stop because deep down, we want to be God. We don’t want God to speak to us about those broken places in our lives, we’d like to keep being the victim in that situation instead of facing it and having him redeem it.

But the invitation still stands, by accepting it, we find rest. We find life. We find a place where we can let go of worries, hurt, frustrations and be with God. Exactly what we need.

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Finding God in the Storm

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As I’m preaching through Habakkuk I’ve been overwhelmed by how hard it is to trust God.

I know that might sound weird to hear from a pastor, but it can be hard.

When life is going well I often have the feeling I don’t have to trust God because I’m tempted to think I don’t need God. Then, when life is hard or painful, I wonder why God is has left me or if he is angry at me.

Habakkuk begins by asking, “God, how do you sit idly by and do nothing about this?” If you are so powerful God, why don’t you lift a finger? Why do you allow this?

At the heart of God’s answer is God’s character. The way we answer that in our minds reveals what we believe about God.

It is easy when the clouds of life roll into to wonder why God hasn’t given us an umbrella, but He has.

God could’ve chosen any prophet to give this message to. Any number of them were available to carry this message. But God chose a man named Habakkuk, whose name means “Embrace.” I think this is one of the most crucial pieces of the book of Habakkuk and shows us God’s heart. It shows us where God is when the storms of life roll in. He is with us, embracing us. He is not far off. He is not taking a day off or having forgotten us.

Over and over in Scripture, from Joseph, to the Exodus, to David in the Psalms, Jesus in the gospels (particularly in John 11), God’s anger at the pain, death and hurt in our world.

One of the things I’ve been challenged with personally and was a challenge I gave to my church is that in a storm, to stop asking why something is happening and to begin looking for Jesus in the storm. It changes my heart and my perspective because I am asking something different of God and when I ask something different of God, I’m able to see things more clearly.

In this, I’m able to see that God is not oblivious. God is broken with us. God is embracing us.

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How You See as a Leader

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leader

How you see as a leader, shapes everything about your leadership. If you think in steps, that’s how you evaluate the effectiveness of a ministry or sermon. If you are highly relational focused on making people feel cared for, this will shape how you see things, how you lead and evaluate things. If you are a big picture, visionary, this will affect your outlook. If you care deeply about doctrine over everything else, that will also affect how you see things. The reality is, though no leader wants to admit this, no way is the “correct” way to see things when it comes to leadership. All perspectives are needed to lead an effective church.

The Old Testament establishes three primary leadership offices for the people of Israel:

  • Prophets: God’s messengers to his people
  • Priests: Mediators who approach God on behalf of his people
  • Kings: Rulers who govern God’s people

In the New Testament, we see that Jesus perfectly fulfills each of these offices. He is our final and authoritative Prophet (John 1:1). He is our Great High Priest (1 Peter 5:4). And he is the conquering King of kings (1 Timothy 6:15).

Do you feel like your role is a mismatch for your talents?

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The prophet is the Bible guy (I’m using guy because it is shorter, women have the same lenses). When a prophet reads the Bible, they ask, “What does this tell me about God?” They love verses, mission, doctrine, theology. All they need is a verse for it to be true. They don’t need feelings, just a verse. For them, it is all about the mission and truth. This person will often post things about their beliefs on social media, whether it is about vaccines, theology, gay marriage, abortion, being gospel centered, etc. They seek to argue people into the kingdom of God.

The priest is the relational guy. When a priest reads the Bible they ask, “How does this passage make me feel?” They are all about shepherding, relationships, making sure everyone is cared for. They are on the lookout to make sure everyone is connected, feels loved, wanted. They want to make sure no one falls through the cracks. This person can often sacrifice truth in the name of keeping a relationship. Willing people to continue sinning in hopes they will turn around from more time spent together. Priests often find themselves wasting time in meetings or counseling sessions that never seem to end.

The king is the systems and organizational guy. When a king reads the Bible they ask, “What does this make me want to do?” They want steps. They love excel, spreadsheets, things that add up, budgets. They want systems to care for people, systems to move people from one place to the other. They want to be organized and they want the churches they are a part of to be organized. Most churches aren’t sure what to do with kings.

Do you wish you could use all your talents in your job?

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What often happens is if you have a priest leading the church, they will be intimidated by the kings because they are more efficient. They will struggle with prophets because prophets have a clear picture of the future. Kings will get frustrated with prophets because they can’t ever get to their vision, only cast it. They will also get frustrated at a prophet preaching because there will never be any steps. Prophets will often say what the bible says and sit down, “letting the holy spirit do the work.” Prophets will get frustrated with kings because “they don’t get it” and want to talk about how a church will get there, so a prophet always wonders if a king is on board. A prophet gets frustrated at a priest because they keep talking about people who need help or haven’t bought in and are slowing the church down.

Which one is right?

All of them. They are all needed on a leadership team and to help a church become who God calls it to be.

How to succeed as a leader.

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When You Manipulate Your Husband, You Lose Him

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Manipulate your Husband

Over time in a relationship, couples fall into typical roles. They learn how to push each other’s buttons. They learn how to control the other, how to manipulate situations to get what they want and ultimately, how to win. This might be through force, silent treatment, being on edge, yelling, withholding sex, controlling the money or the schedule.

Men do this. Women do this.

I’ll post another time about how men do this, but for today, I want to focus on how many wives manipulate their husband and the consequences of that manipulation.

I remember preaching a series through the life of Samson at Revolution Church and while the series is geared towards men, there is a ton in it for women. Like this:

And in three days they could not solve the riddle. On the fourth day they said to Samson’s wife, “Entice your husband to tell us what the riddle is, lest we burn you and your father’s house with fire. Have you invited us here to impoverish us?” And Samson’s wife wept over him and said, “You only hate me; you do not love me. You have put a riddle to my people, and you have not told me what it is.” And he said to her, “Behold, I have not told my father nor my mother, and shall I tell you?” She wept before him the seven days that their feast lasted, and on the seventh day he told her, because she pressed him hard. Then she told the riddle to her people. -Judges 14:14b – 17

Samson tells a riddle to the Philistines, who are ruling over the nation of Israel. He makes a bet that they can’t figure it out.

They can’t.

So, the Philistines go to Samson’s Philistine fiance and tell her to find out the answer, so they don’t look foolish.

This passage shows a few things about men and women and their default sins under stress. Samson wants to win at all costs. Samson wants to avoid looking foolish at all costs.

His fiance makes the go to move that every woman uses, and uses a lot in marriage, manipulation. 

She wept before Samson for 7 days. She nagged, complained, gave him the silent treatment.

And in the end, she won.

But she lost Samson.

Every time you manipulate your husband, you lose him. 

Every time you manipulate your husband, you lose a little piece of him.

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You may not lose him to divorce, but you lose a piece of him. Trust is damaged. He begins to wonder if you are just using him. He begins to wonder if you have his best interest at heart or if you are out for yourself, your kids or someone else (maybe your mother, his mother-in-law). He wonders if you will fight for your marriage. He wonders what will happen the next time you don’t get your way.

It might be you stop talking to him, stop responding to him sexually, withhold information, give him cold stares, talk in passive aggressive tones, make snide remarks towards him.

Men will acquiesce all kinds of things for peace and the path of less resistance.

So, while many women “win” and get their way through manipulation, much like Samson’s fiance. They lose their husband and a piece of their marriage every time.

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How to Not be Bitter When Your Prayer Isn’t Answered How You Like

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prayers

On a regular basis, either in my life or in a conversation with someone the idea of prayers come up, specifically prayers not being answered in the time we set forth or the way that we want.

This is a crossroads everyone gets to. Maybe you pray for something to happen in your spouse, to get a spouse and nothing. It might be a child and you see no movement. A pastor prays for his church to grow and it is shrinks.

These are difficult moments.

They remind we aren’t in control.

They also lead us to a choice: will we continue to trust God or will we become bitter.

There is an interesting verse in the story of Samson in chapter 14:4, it happens so quickly that you can easily read right past it:

His father and mother did not know that it was from the Lord, for he was seeking an opportunity against the Philistines. At that time the Philistines ruled over Israel.

Samson was sinning and doing the exact opposite of what his parents wanted him to and he was breaking God’s law. This is so heart wrenching to watch when a loved one wrecks their life. You feel helpless.

There is a crucial phrase that we can miss, that Samson, his father and mother were unaware of what God was doing and how God would work in this, in spite of Samson’s sin.

One author said, “What we don’t know may prove to be our deepest comfort.”

Maybe the prayer you are praying is not ready to be answered the way you want. Maybe it will never be answered the way you want. That doesn’t mean God is not listening or God does not care. Often, I find that when prayers are not answered how I want, it causes me to grow in ways I would not have chosen.

At that crossroads, we still have a choice: will we continue to trust God or will we become bitter.

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What People Want out of a Sermon

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sermon

Every week, if you preach, you stand before a group of people. They are all different, but they have a lot of the same needs and desires. I was asked recently what my goal of preaching is (which is another topic than this post will cover) and what I think people want out of a sermon. Whether pastors like it or not, what people want to hear is important to a sermon. You need to preach what the Bible says and what God calls you to say, but if you don’t know what people are looking for, you will struggle to communicate in a way that makes sense to them.

As I thought about it, here are some of the groups that show up at church every week and what they want out of a sermon (just a note: I’m not saying these are true or even good things, just what I see as reality):

  1. I was forced to be here. You have people in your service who were dragged to church by someone. It may be a friend, parent or spouse but they are there not because they want to be but because it keeps the peace. This person wants to not be bored. They simply want to survive church. They are counting the seconds til you are done. Not necessarily listening but sitting there with their arms folded thinking, “I’m here, impress me.” To communicate to this person, don’t be boring. Know what you are talking about. Don’t have rabbit trails. Say what you are planning to say and sit down. Make sure the beginning and ending of your sermon are solid and prepped.
  2. I know I’m broken. This person may be a follower of Jesus, this person may be exploring Jesus. This person knows something in their life is broken. It could be a sin pattern, addiction, negative emotions, a broken marriage or something else. Regardless, this person wants help. They are looking for something to fix what is ailing them. This person is incredibly open to the gospel and what Jesus can do in their lives. While the focus for them is on fixing their life and not necessarily Jesus, that is openness to Jesus because it can be directed to a biblical view.
  3. The feel good Christian. I would guess that most churches have a lot of these people. They are the ones who want to be inspired. They don’t want to be challenged to change or confront things in their life. They want to check the church box off the list and go home feeling better than when they walked in. They don’t plan on reading their Bible this week. More than likely, at least according to Jesus (Matthew 7:15 – 23), many people in this category are not Christians. This person will leave a church and say, “I didn’t get fed there.” They will decide if they liked the service if they feel inspired or if they sang songs they like and know. This person needs to be confronted with the reality of their sin and need for Jesus and need to be made to feel uncomfortable about their eternal state. This person needs the Holy Spirit in their life.
  4. The agenda Christian. This person knows a lot about the bible and can come across as a mature Christian, but they usually aren’t. This person wants you to talk about a certain topic, a lot. When you talk about that topic, you have to say what they want or else you didn’t preach it correctly. You should preach on the end times, a lot. Talk about Israel, a lot. Be political in you preaching. Everything is about the kingdom of God and their interpretation of what that means. When you present the gospel, if you don’t give the 4 spiritual laws, Romans road or their rendition of the gospel, you didn’t preach the gospel. While this person can help a pastor present things clearly and biblically, they often miss the mark in how they give feedback. Most pastors give this person an audience because they tend to be a squeaky wheel. When talking to this person, you need to lovingly listen and then firmly communicate your differences. Make changes if need be. Communicate the stance of your church and how things will not change if necessary. You may even need to help this person find a new church to attend where they will line up more in their beliefs. That’s okay as well.
  5. The mature Christian. This is the person who is a leader in your church, or growing their faith, bringing people with them, involved in a missional community, giving back to God, reading their bible during the week and praying. This person prays for their pastors. This person prepares their heart to hear a sermon, asks God to speak to them through his word when it is opened during a sermon. When convicted of sin, they repent and seek to live the life God created them to live. This person wants to grow, to be challenged.

While these are generalizations and have inherent problems with them because of that. There are also a few other categories I could’ve covered, I think these are the main ones and how to communicate to them.

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How to Find Rest in the Midst of a Busy Life

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rest

I talked this past Sunday about the idols of the heart and what drives us to do what we do. Yesterday after breakfast, Katie pointed something out to me in Isaiah 46.

While our idols drive us and only the gospel can transform our hearts to be driven by Jesus. We also look to our idols to carry us, to give us rest, to complete us.

We look for achievement to give us rest. When we’ve accomplished enough, we’ll have enough. When we have enough school, we’ll be enough. When we’ve taken enough vacations, we’ll have enough experiences.

When we have enough power, we’ll have enough control. We’ll have enough followers, enough employees. We’ll be important and feared because we have power.

When we have enough stuff, we’ll be able to slow down and rest. We’ll be able to sit on our new deck furniture, watch our huge TV from our plush chair.

We’ll finally be able to rest, because our idols will carry us.

Except. We lose employees. This year award becomes next year’s forgotten winner. That degree becomes not enough in 5 years when someone else gets one more degree than you. That vacation next year will be a distant memory when you hear about a new place, a new resort, a new experience. That power will fade as your company gets bought out or a new boss comes in and the game changes. And stuff rots and falls apart and last years most amazing TV becomes next month’s “last season’s model.”

Our idols fail. They do not carry us. They do not give us rest.

Isaiah 46:8-9 says:

Remember this and stand firm, recall it to mind, you transgressors, remember the former things of old; for I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me.