It seems almost every week there is another leader written about in blogs who has failed somehow. Whether that is abuse of power, finances, sleeping with someone they aren’t married to or jumping off the deep end theologically.
Every time I read about it, my heart breaks. For the people who are affected, for the name of Christ that is tarnished, for the families that are broken because of it, for the lost of mission and momentum at the church and for the leader and his wife.
My heart also breaks because I know I could easily be that leader if I’m not careful.
So much happens when a leader fails.
Each time this happens, I inevitably read too many blogs about the situation. Not out of morbid curiosity, but to find out where it went wrong. Almost every time two things happen. While there are other things that each one has in common, almost every leadership failure has two things in common:
- The leader is not in a small group or missional community.
- All the rules don’t apply to the leader.
While these aren’t always the case, leaders can be in a small group and fail. Each time I read about another leader failing, these seem to be true on some level.
Here’s why this matters.
When you are in a small group or MC, you are with “normal people.” Too many pastors insulate themselves with elders and staff. I’ve had pastors tell me, “My elder team is my small group.” Um, no. Your elders are the team that shepherd, lead and protect the church together, but they aren’t your small group. In fact, that’s a recipe for disaster. Who is around your wife? Who is around your kids? What non-Christians are you spending time with?
Slowly, the leader begins to think they don’t need the sheep anymore. They have more important things to do. Now, I’m not saying a leader needs to burn himself out making himself available to everyone. As a church grows, the leader must delegate tasks and people to other leaders. This is good and healthy. But, a church is never too big for a pastor to talk with people.
I remember when I worked at Willow Creek and watching Bill Hybels and John Ortberg stand down by the stage after preaching and talk for as long as people would stand in line. I remember watching it once to see how long Hybels would do it and I timed him standing for over an hour one day.
The second one creeps up on a leader, sometimes without notice. The rules begin to not apply to them.
Now, the higher you move in a church or organization, the more perks come with it. A lead pastor has a bigger book budget, goes to more conferences, has more vacation days, etc. I’m not talking about more perks.
I’m talking about a lead pastor requiring his staff to work in the office but he gets to work from home “because sermon prep is a solo activity.” If you get a perk like working from home, it should be available to others. If there is a policy about social media or something else, it is applies to employees, it applies to you as the leader.
The moment a leader is above the rules is the moment a leader is in danger. The moment a leader is cut off from community with people who are not leaders, is the moment a leader is in danger.
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