To accomplish anything in life, you need courage.

You need the courage to get out of bed each morning and face the day. It takes courage to tell a boss, co-worker, spouse or friend what you need or want. It takes courage to lead anything forward. It takes courage to parent. It takes courage to quit a job and leave security to chase a dream.

But courage is easily lost. And when it’s lost, we miss out on new things, great things.

In their excellent book The Practice of Adaptive Leadership, the authors list five things that hold us back from having the courage to face the road ahead:

1. Loyalties to people who may not believe you are doing the right thing. We often underestimate the power of people in our lives, especially people from our past. Teachers, parents, first bosses or coaches, guidance counselors, boyfriends, girlfriends; they all make an impact. They have said things that encouraged us and pushed us forward, but they have also said things that have cut us.

My guidance counselor in high school told me I wasn’t college material and I should give up that goal and get a job working with my hands. That has always rung in my head. I am constantly fighting the battle of feeling like I belong somewhere, or that I am smart enough to be sitting at a table.

Are the loyalties you have to people in your past holding you back in any way? Are there any messages ringing in your head that are keeping you from reaching for a dream?

2. Fear of incompetence. Nobody wants to look dumb, unprepared or not up to the task. Failure paralyzes so many of us.

The reality is, anything new will be a learning curve. Asking for help is difficult for many of us, but is the only way to new things.

If you knew all that you needed to know to reach that future goal or dream, you’d probably be there by now. But you aren’t.

If it’s helpful, make a list of things that you don’t know, do you know anyone who is an expert in those things? Podcasts you can listen to? Books or blogs you can read? Make an effort to grow and fight that fear of incompetence.

Now, this list will be helpful, make a list of things that could go wrong if you had the courage you needed. What is the worse thing that could happen? The irony of this list is that the worst thing that could happen is rarely horrible.

3. Uncertainty about taking the right path. Going closely with the fear of incompetence is the deciding on the right way forward. The reality of having courage is that you might take one step forward and three steps back, four steps to the right and then you’ll be on the right path.

That’s okay.

Your life isn’t over. And you aren’t too old to start over or brush off the dirt and move forward.

4. Fear of loss. The reality of anything new, any new dream or goal brings about change.

Change always involves a loss.

Sometimes that loss is good and dead weight that needs to let go of in your life, but often that loss will hurt.

If you’re a leader, you know that any change you make will bring loss because everyone won’t move forward with you. That is difficult for you and those around you.

Life and leadership are about learning to grieve the losses along the way so you can keep moving forward.

5. Not having the stomach for the hard parts of the journey. I once heard someone say that “everything great is uphill.” Probably both ways!

But it will be hard.

You will hit moments where your passion is gone, your energy is zapped, and you wonder if you can make it.

It is at this point that most people get off the dream train.

This is why I think it is so crucial for you to feel a sense of calling, purpose or meaning to what you are going after. Merely liking a challenge or thinking this is the next step for you will not get you through the hard parts.

You will not experience all five of these today or maybe ever. There will be one that will keep you from reaching the peak of your life. It is important to know which one it is for you so you are able to see it coming a mile away and learn how to combat it.