Control.

It is something we all like to have, something we all want to feel we have, and yet, if we are honest with ourselves, we have very little of it.

We can’t control the stock market, our retirement, or our finances. We can’t stop things from breaking or falling apart. We can’t control our friends, our spouse, our kids, or our parents. We can’t control our health, getting sick, something breaking in our bodies, or even stop the process of getting older.

Now, in all of those things, there are things we can control.

We can fight against it and try to keep controlling things.

Which is what a lot of us do. I do it. I like control.

We can throw our hands up in the air and say, “What’s the point?” and give up. Unfortunately, some of us do this as well.

It is a funny thing to think that on the other side of releasing control is hope. That if we let go, we can find joy. It feels backward because we believe that hope and joy are found in control. 

But what if hope and joy are found in surrender?  

As I said on Sunday, we can let go of control when we surrender.

But how? And does it lead us to the life we want and hope for?

So, from one control freak (me) to another (maybe), here are some questions I’ve asked myself along the way to lead to surrender:

1. What am I hoping for in control? What does control get me in this situation? Now, if you are like me, you are thinking, I control things because I care. And that is true. But we still need to ask these questions. Not all control is bad, but most of the control we exert in our lives lacks trust in God.

And at the crux of control and surrender is the question, can I trust God? And it is an important question. Do I believe that God cares about these things and these people as much as I do? Do I believe that God cares about me and my world as much as I do?

The answer is He does, but He cares about them in slightly different ways than we often do. 

But back to the original question: When we exert control, what do we get? What do we hope for?

Often, we hope for comfort and a sense of peace when we control things, but that often backfires on us.

2. What do I control in this situation? Really? As we think about control and what we hope to gain from control, it is essential to step back and ask, “what do I control in this situation? Really?” The reason I like to throw the word really on end is that we can come up with all kinds of things, but that last question forces us to say, do you actually have control there?

Take any situation in your life right now that feels out of control. What control do you have? 

The answer is some. You and I exert influence in all kinds of places that we often underestimate. If you’re a parent, you have a lot of influence on your child’s life. The same is true with finances, your health, and other vital relationships. Although you and I have control, it might be different than we expect. So it is crucial to know where we have control and what control we have. 

So that we can release the control we don’t have, and surrender.

3. What would happen if I release control? In many ways, it is the surrender question; the letting go question.

For many of us, this is also the worst-case scenario question. 

In the areas of your life where you exert control, what would happen if you surrendered those people, situations, and struggles to God? What if you let go?

It isn’t easy, but we know that God is at work through us and in us (Philippians 2:13), and that he will bring that work to completion (Philippians 1:6). That is why we can release control and surrender to God, and in that surrender, we find hope and joy.