I’ve noticed a common theme in conversations recently. It creeps up in texts, emails, social media posts, and just the general feelings in life.

It’s the sense of exhaustion, the feeling that we are hanging on, and simply trying to survive the week. We are tired of arguing with people who disagree with us about covid, masks, and vaccines. We are tired of the constant pivoting and changing that is happening all around us. 

Personally, Katie and I were talking this past week about the exhaustion that comes from moving. The physical strain of moving, the mental details it takes to start new schools, set up new doctors, dentists, and all the things you do each day. 

If you’re anything like me, you’ve wondered over this past year why this is all happening. What is God doing? How is this part of His plan?

As I’ve spent time just looking at my own heart, what is happening in it, what is being revealed in this season, I have been reminded of something. Something I wish wasn’t true, but it is: I like control. I like the sense of control.

If there has been anything that these past two years have shown us, it’s this: We aren’t in control, and we don’t like that.

What is control? According to the dictionary: Control is the power to influence or direct people’s behavior or the course of events.

Over the last two years, many of us have seen our desire for control increase because we have felt so out of control.

Think for a moment, how many people are in your life, and how many situations do you have direct control over?

I have five kids, and I have very little control over what they do. I like to think I can direct things, but I can’t. I can’t make my friends do anything. I can’t make my wife do something. My parents, I can’t control them and tell them what to do. I can try to control things, but I have very little control over the things in my world. The economy? I don’t have any control over that. Other drivers? No control there. The people who take forever in the grocery store line? No control. What about what is going on in our world with covid? Schools staying open or not? There are so many things outside of our control. 

But have you ever noticed that when our anxiety, worry, and fears start to rise, many of us grab onto control somewhere? 

If we can’t control our jobs, we try to control our kids or spouse. 

If we can’t control our paycheck, we try to control our gardens. 

The moment one place in our lives feels out of control, we start looking for control somewhere, anywhere.

What’s interesting, though, is that this tends to backfire on us. 

What happens when we try to control a relationship? It often ruins it. When we try to make something happen, we tend to make things worse. 

We do this in several ways: 

• Some of us try to power through. We pretend we aren’t hurt or sad; just put our heads down and go. 
• Some of us try to control it by working overtime. 
• Some of us try to control it through our personalities or emotions. 
• Some of us try to control it by shutting people out. 

What if I told you, though, when life is out of control, our goal is one thing when we try to control it.

Peace.

We are going after the sense of calm.

We are going after peace, but we settle for control.

I think that is the invitation: to enter into the peace and calm we long for, we must release our iron grip of control.

We must let go.