Recently, I’ve heard from several pastors and friends who are looking for new jobs and experiencing what many have called “the great resignation.” And after experiencing my job transition, it’s caused me to reflect on it as I’ve walked with them.

If you are in the place of looking for a new job, especially a ministry one, know that you aren’t alone. And know that it is challenging and exciting all at the same time.

As I listen to friends walking through it and reflect on my process, here are some things I learned:

You’re still doing your job & the balance is a lot. Chances are, while you are praying, discerning, and looking; you still have a job.

The balance becomes incredibly taxing physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and relationally, as you’ll see in the other reasons. You are waking up each day, trying to be faithful to what is in front of you while at the same time trying to discern what God is doing in your heart. And the balance becomes exhausting.

There were days when I would work all day (often all on zoom) and then hop on one or two zoom interviews at night. And it begins to push the boundaries of what is sustainable.

The longer it goes on, the harder it is to stay focused on your job and stay present with what is in front of you.

It’s lonely because you can’t talk about it with close friends or co-workers. This is especially true in ministry situations. In most companies, it seems more normal to interview for jobs, but because of how relational pastoral ministry is, it makes talking about your desire to move harder.

Now, I know some pastors share with friends or staff to pray with them as they discern a move, but I think you need to be careful with that and when you do that. When you tell people and who you tell can be dicey. What if it doesn’t work out? Just because you feel like your time is ending doesn’t mean it is. I can tell you story after story of ministry jobs that have fallen through. I had one 18 years ago when I moved our stuff to Colorado, and it fell through. I would be cautious when you tell people you are thinking about leaving because it is hard for them to process that if you stay. This includes when you bring your kids into the mix.

You don’t know where you’ll be, so the uncertainty is hard. This is one of the things that begins to weigh on your spouse and your kids if they know you are looking for a new job. 

It is hard to make plans for your future when you aren’t sure if you will be in the same house or state next year. This creates a lot of anxiety, and there is a limit to how long you can live in this limbo. 

You put yourself out there and tell your story, but the interview teams don’t reciprocate. Looking back, this is what made me exhausted emotionally. 

The team would ask about my marriage, kids, leadership journey, hurts, and joys in life and ministry in each interview. This is a way of getting to know a candidate and connecting, but the interview team notes and moves on to the following questions. Which they should. But it is hard as a candidate when you are telling the same stories, putting yourself out there on multiple occasions. Most nights in the interview process, I would be exhausted, and this was why. 

As a candidate, you need to be aware of all energy levels. But as the job hunt wears on, your physical and emotional energy will often wane because of how much output you have in the interview process. Be aware of what this might mean for your other relationships because you can inadvertently pull away from friends and family because of how tiring it is. 

On a practical level, you have to pack and find a new place to live and new schools to go to. And that’s only the beginning. There are projects needed to be done to sell your house and then tasks at the new home. This is exciting but also adds to the stress. You are figuring out a new place and what that might mean, helping your kids say goodbye to friends as you say goodbye to friends. 

It’s hard on your spouse. Tyler Staton made a great observation in a podcast that while he had a new exciting role he was moving into, his wife would continue to live her life and experiences but do it in a new place without her community.

You have to figure out Covid in the new place, and you didn’t rally with the team and suffer with them, and they’re exhausted. I  picked up on this as I talked with churches around the country. While we all experienced covid and online church, we all experienced it differently depending on our location. This might be less of an issue now, but the effects of the pandemic still linger in life and churches depending on the area and how things were handled. 

There are more things, but this list, looking back, is what made our job hunt so exhausting. 

If you are in that season right now, know you are not alone and that it will one day end.