One of the things I hear people talk about way too much is the goal of balance in life. Google work/life balance, and you will find many ideas on how to balance everything you do.
The problem is that balance is a pipedream, an illusion, a mirage that is impossible to come by.
Instead of balancing life and all the demands that come our way, I have found it better to look at life through the lens of rhythms. Each season of the year has a rhythm. There are different feelings to the fall, winter, summer, and spring. And we need to understand that.
We were created to live in a rhythm.
God created the world in six days and then rested. There is a rhythm to sabbath rest, a flow that is so important.
But to understand that, we have to understand our rhythm dashboard.
When I burned out almost a decade ago, Katie and I sat down to create a rhythm dashboard. A system of warning lights to know when we are running too fast.
Think for a moment, when do you know you are running on empty? Can you pinpoint it? Can you look back a few days, weeks, or months to see what led to it?
This matters because if you can see when you get tired before you get tired, you can learn to live in rhythm.
Too often, we run until we run out of steam and then crash through a wall.
Here are some of mine:
What usually is easy is now challenging. This is one of the first things that happen. Things you usually can do without much effort suddenly become tough.
Decision-making. You struggle to make simple decisions and find yourself paralyzed at making a choice. You are indecisive.
Sleep is hard to come by. For many Americans, sleep is hard as it is. We go to bed too late; we don’t take enough naps, spend too much time on technology, and get worked up. If you have to take sleeping pills, watch TV to fall asleep, or find yourself going to bed at midnight or staring at the clock at midnight, you need to work on your sleep.
It is hard to get going in the morning. Some people are morning people and can’t wait to get going; others are not. I’m not a morning person. But, when I find myself having a hard time getting going in the morning, needing multiple cups of coffee to stay awake or focus, that’s a warning sign. Think about this morning; how hard was it to get out of bed? The harder it was, the closer you are right now to burnout.
You get angry fast. When you are tired, you tend to get angry fast. Your fuse is shorter with those closest to you: family, friends, and coworkers. Your reaction to situations does not match the situation. You get angry at small things or cry without knowing why.
Motivation is hard to come by. You are indeed more motivated and alert at specific parts of the day. It is first thing in the morning, which is why I reserve that for sermon prep and not meetings. When I am most creative, I need to give that mental time to the most critical part of my job: preaching. When I find that motivation is not there, I know I have a problem.
You have impulses to eat and drink, and you struggle to control them. You may also use things to calm down. This might be food, sex, porn, exercise, drugs, smoking, or alcohol. While these things calm you down, and all of these are not necessarily sins, when used to calm us down or help us relax or sleep or “take the edge off,” we have a problem. If you think, “I just need ____ to calm down or feel better,” you have a problem.
You don’t laugh as much or have fun. This is connected to what we’ve already said, but if you can’t remember the last time you laughed and had fun, that’s a problem. When you are tired, the last thing you have energy for is fun or community. You are more irritable and have less courage.
What is on your dashboard? How do you know that you are running too fast? How do you know that one busy season has run into another season, and now that is just your life?
