Photo by Luis Villasmil on Unsplash

Have you ever felt like you were in a rut? Maybe in your marriage, you and your spouse keep missing each other no matter what you try. Maybe as a parent, you feel like you are stuck and just can’t get moving. Or spiritually, this happens when we feel like we are going through the motions. The same thing happens with friendships, our careers, or fitness goals.

Stuck.

It describes so many people and how we live our lives.

Spinning our tires.

Not moving forward. Maybe even moving backward.

That feeling that no matter what you do personally or in your church, you never get anywhere. Nothing grows, nothing changes, nothing gets better, and sometimes it even gets worse.

Your marriage doesn’t change, your health doesn’t improve, and you still can’t talk to your kids or boss. You still have no idea what to do with your life, how to get out of debt, or how to let go of your past hurts.

Stuck.

When that happens, what do you do?

Here are 4 ways to get unstuck in life, marriage, or ministry:

Have a Plan. You can’t change anything without a plan. You have to identify what is wrong, what needs to change, and what the future would look like if it changed. Often, we move forward without any kind of plan for what we hope to accomplish. When this happens, and nothing changes, we can lose heart and give up.

Be Intentional. After coming up with a plan, you can be intentional. In the same way that it takes very little effort to go into debt or put weight on, it takes an enormous effort to get out of debt and lose weight. A plan won’t be enough; you must create accountability and attach dates and times to things. If you will have a weekly date night, what night will it be? If you reach a certain benchmark at work, when will that be completed, and what steps will you take to get there?

Everything Gets a Minute. Anything worthwhile in your life has a minute attached to it. Whenever someone says, “I wish I could do ____, but I don’t have time,” they are usually lying to themselves. They don’t care enough to make that happen. The reality is you have all the time you need to do everything you want to do. If you want to do something, you will find the time. Taking a class, reading a book to grow, exercising, and getting more sleep, no matter what, you will find the time if you want something bad enough.

You might think, but I would still like to do ____ but can’t find the time. Then, it might not be the season for you to do that. Just because you want to do something doesn’t mean this is the moment. You might have young kids at home, so returning to school isn’t for right now. That’s okay. 

Every time you say yes to something, you say no to something else. You shouldn’t do everything. One reason many people get stuck is they try to do everything. When you say yes to signing your child up for a sport, you say no to less stress, dinners as a family, and other things. Is that bad? It depends on your life, goals, and what you hope to accomplish. Only you can answer that; the answer changes in different seasons as you age and your kids get older. A silly example: Katie and I have talked about how much TV we want to watch (this is the minute idea). Any time we add a new show that starts, we agree we need to stop watching another show; otherwise, we will spend more time than we want to watch TV.