In 1 John, John writes to his church, trying to help them live in the assurance that they have in Christ. To live the good life. 

He says, I have written these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life. The whole book is about what keeps us from experiencing this daily and in eternity. 

In 1 John 2:15 – 17, he lays out 3 traps that keep us from living the good life, from experiencing the life that God has for us, here and now, and in eternity: the desires of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and pride in possessions. 

Let’s take them one at a time:

The desires of the flesh. John is speaking of a few things here.

He is speaking about misdirecting our sexual desire outside of God’s design. 

This can be sex outside of marriage, porn, fantasizing about someone you aren’t married to, or getting emotionally involved with someone you aren’t married to. 

Wishing your spouse were different, looked different, acted different.

This also applies to your personal feelings about your own body and the elevated desire you have to look a certain way or have a specific body type.

This also highlights what we are willing to do for love, the distance we will go to be loved. Or, how we will manipulate someone by withholding love to get what we want. 

Here’s another way to think about this desire, a desire always to get your way.

In marriage, you stop pursuing your spouse and pursue porn or someone else. 

If you’re single and look at porn, you begin to rewire your heart and mind for intimacy and start to rob your life today and your future self and spouse of the joy God has for you. 

You stop opening up to your spouse and slowly start pulling away from them, to the point where you never talk or share your dreams, hurts, and joys.

This is the workaholic taking on too much. Never stopping to ask, Do I want this life? Should I accept this assignment or promotion? If I say yes to this, what am I saying no to? There is always a trade-off.

This is the person who can’t slow down because they’re afraid, if I stop moving and doing stuff, what will I do? A woman once told me that she couldn’t take a day off or rest because she was afraid of the thoughts that would flood her mind. She was running.

In kids’ sports teams, there’s always a trade-off in your life. A friend recently lamented on Facebook the loss of his evenings and life as he and his wife try to juggle three soccer teams for their three boys, all under the age of 10. He’s miserable, and their kids are exhausted.

But there is a life he is chasing.

That’s the desires of the flesh. 

The next love he addresses: The desires of the eyes. 

This is the desire of what can be seen.

A certain life, a particular lifestyle.

In many ways, this is your ideal and dream Instagram account, whatever that is. 

A certain kind of house, a particular kind of family, a certain kind of grill, workout equipment, cars, vacations, food, clothes, closet space, hiking, and boating.  

Now, John isn’t saying that cars, shoes, grills, houses, or vacations are evil; they are morally neutral. 

It is our desire towards those things.

Why?

Because that desire consumes us and takes over.

We do whatever we can to have a certain life or appear to have a particular lifestyle.

We all have this. 

This is the desire to have everything.

Many of us have bought into the lie that you can have it all.

This is the belief that we can climb the ladder, have the perfect family, friends, hobbies, and a relationship with God. And yet, something breaks on the way up the ladder. Something always loses out in our lives because we are human and limited.

Women kill themselves for this lie. Believing it is possible to have it all and look like you have it all, so that people behind your back say with jealousy, “She has it all.” That woman who “has it all” is often cracking and dying from the pressure and the sadness that she really doesn’t have it all, but no one knows.

If you’re a parent, it might be for your kids to behave a certain way, get specific grades, and get a scholarship. We kill ourselves for that, we push our kids to insane lengths for that. Why?

We say it is for them, but deep down, it is a desire to be seen a certain way.

Parents, most of the stress you feel and the pressure you apply to your kids is really about your need to be seen as a great parent, rather than what they are doing.

If you’re a student, this is the life you’ve imagined and are working hard for. The approval of that parent or teacher that you are chasing after, and who always seems right out of reach. 

That’s the desire of the eyes. 

The last love he addresses is Pride in possessions. 

Again, John isn’t telling us possessions are bad; he is telling us that loving them and having pride in them is. Being driven by them will destroy us.

This is the desire to appear important.

This is wanting to appear smart and successful.

This is why many people are in debt or are workaholics.

This is why people take specific jobs and careers. For a certain life, to appease a parent or a spouse. They give up a dream, a God given call, for something safer.