Photo by Jeff Sheldon on Unsplash

I don’t know if you’ve noticed this in your life, but I have seen it play out in mine and countless others, and it is this: When we experience major life transitions, we reevaluate and rethink our commitments.

You have seen this play out at your church if you’re a pastor.

Whenever we walk through a life transition: birth, death, divorce, retirement, becoming an empty nester, going to college or grad school, or moving, we also tend to pull away from community and church.

The latest data backs this up, pointing out that moving is the number one reason people leave church.

Let me be clear. I’m not saying this is right or wrong, only that it is real.

Maybe you had someone in your church who was highly involved, and then all their kids moved out of the house, and they stepped back from their community group and serving teams. Maybe someone retired who was a group leader is now taking a break.

This is natural, and I’m not bemoaning in any way, shape, or form. Just as we enter new life stages, we make changes.

One reason is that our lives have changed.

When you add a child to your family, your life is different. When you enter the teenage years or become an empty nester, your life has taken on new responsibilities and meaning.

It is a time to pull back and ask yourself some questions.

All that preamble leads to this post: Pastors need to be more aware of this as they bring people into leadership and how they navigate transitions. When we add someone or someone leaves one of our teams, we overlook what is happening in their personal lives or what is on the horizon in their personal lives. 

As leaders, we also need to be aware of the transitions we are walking through, will walk through, and prepare for those. We need to do the same for those we serve with.

This doesn’t mean you make major changes to your life whenever you go through life stage transitions, but it is also a normal part of life.

Over the last decade, I have seen this play out time and again with people in the church. Now, I am more aware of it. Are we putting someone into leadership who is about to have a life stage transition? I have conversations with people on my team about the transition they are walking through, what they need, how it affects them, and their role. 

There is very little we can do about this reality because it is real and an important part of life, leadership, and church involvement, but we must be aware of it as pastors.