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Joshua Reich

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Praying to the God Who Loves You

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If you’re like me, you often find yourself struggling to trust other people. Someone promises something, but deep within, you wonder if you can believe their promise.

Why?

We’ve been stabbed in the back by a close friend; a spouse cheated on you, a parent lied, again and again, you’ve watched an addict friend or family member say over and over, “this is the last time.”

In fact, the idea of choosing to trust anything or anyone seems like one of the worst decisions we could make. It opens us up to all kinds of hurt.

That is what makes prayer so hard for us, at least for me.

Prayer is difficult because it is hard to trust anyone.

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We think God has to be the same way.

We wonder, will God keep his promise? Will God hear me?

If prayer doesn’t get answered, we think God isn’t listening; God is holding out on us (because someone held out on you before), God isn’t listening because He’s disappointed in you (because someone in authority once said they were disgusted by you or disappointed in you).

Why does this matter?

What if one change, one change in how we see God and ourselves is the key to changing our prayer lives.

One change in how we see God and ourselves is the key to changing our prayer lives.

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When it comes to prayer and trusting in God, we bring all of our hurt and baggage along with us.

We bring our past hurt, past sin, past messages and that is the lens we look at God through and often, that is the lens through which we pray.

As I’ve been preaching through the book of Daniel, it’s important to remember the theme: In spite of present appearances, no matter how things look, God is in control.

In spite of present appearances, no matter how things look, God is in control.

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Before getting to how Daniel prays (because Daniel is a man of prayer), we need to understand where prayer begins. 

It starts with the promises of God.

In Daniel 9:2 were told: In the first year of his reign, I, Daniel, understood from the books according to the word of the Lord to the prophet Jeremiah that the number of years for the desolation of Jerusalem would be seventy.

That promise found in Jeremiah 29:10 – 14: For this is what the Lord says: “When seventy years for Babylon are complete, I will attend to you and will confirm my promise concerning you to restore you to this place. For I know the plans I have for you”—this is the Lord’s declaration—“plans for your well-being, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. You will call to me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you search for me with all your heart. I will be found by you…

Daniel’s prayer starts from reading the promises of God found in the word of God.

Daniel is saying, “God you promised to rescue us after 70 years.” You promised to move.

Promises like this one and others like God promising to heal, promising not to leave us or forsake us, promising to provide for us, when we pray, we go to God with his promises.

God’s promises are the fuel for our prayers.

God’s promises are the fuel for our prayers.

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Prayer starts with the promises of God and those promises fuel our prayers.

Prayer starts with the promises of God and those promises fuel our prayers.

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One author said, “It is as if God’s promises have Velcro on them and our prayers are meant to ‘get stuck’ there.”

That is such a great way to think of prayer because we often feel like we’re talking to ourselves or think our prayers simply leave our mouth, hit the ceiling above us and drop back down.

But they don’t.

Let me make one last point on using Scripture in prayer; often when I talk with people who are struggling in their relationship with God, seeing prayer answered, hearing the voice of God, finding freedom from sin, they are often spending very little time reading God’s word.

To grow in your prayer life, you have to marry it to God’s word.

Because…it will show us our need and what we need to pray for.

What I find interesting (at least compared to my prayer life and most people’s), Daniel’s prayer starts in verse 4 with confession, not a request.

This is important because for many of us begin our prayers with what we want from God.

Our prayers sound like a shopping list. God if you could do this, provide this, make this happen.

Now, I want to be clear, that is part of praying, but many of us make that the only part of our prayer life and wonder why it stalls out.

Throughout scripture, an important part of prayer is the confession of sin.

God responds to Daniel by sending the angel Gabriel.

Now, here’s what you’re thinking, if God sent me an angel, I’d believe in Him more. I’d have more faith.

Here’s the funny thing, first, no you wouldn’t. You would wonder what you ate.

We have more access to God than Daniel did because of Jesus and God’s word and yet, Daniel exhibits more faith than we often have.

What is important about Daniel 9 is how God responds to Daniel.

God doesn’t start by telling Daniel what to do, how he failed, how he did something well, he doesn’t give him an assignment.

What does Gabriel tell Daniel in verse 23?

“You are greatly loved.”

I want us to stop here.

Being loved by God, This is the space we pray from.

Many times we believe that God is disappointed in us, yet there isn’t a verse that says. There are hundreds that say you are loved.

There isn’t a verse that says God is disappointed in you.

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If you are a Christian, you are praying to your heavenly father who loves you, who is pleased with you. A father who gives good gifts to his children. A father who disciplines yes, but because he loves you. We sheepishly come to God because we aren’t sure we belong, we aren’t sure he loves, he cares, yet he does. Notice, before Gabriel tells Daniel what God wants him to know or do, he says, you are loved.

There are hundreds of verses that say God loves you.

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The word “deeply loved” in Hebrew translates as preciousness.

Let me ask you if you believed this, do you think it would transform your faith? Your prayer life? If you believed God was for you instead of against you, would that change things? If you believed God loved you and was not disappointed in you, what does that change? If you believed God would never leave you or forsake you instead of thinking he’ll leave you the first chance he gets, what does that change.

Those are promises of God.

Often, people look to Daniel 9 to show us when Jesus will return or what the millennium looks like. For some help on that, check out Sam Storms great book Kingdom Come. 

I think we see those things in Daniel 9, but we have to look at those through the lens of prayer and answered prayer.

The 70 weeks in Daniel 9 represent the full picture of God’s redemption: the end of sin; atone for sin, everlasting righteousness, and a holy place. That holy place is the everlasting presence of God, full rest, and full redemption.

Gabriel is telling Daniel and us: one day, all prayers will be answered. One day, all things will be redeemed.

When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing

According to Daniel Pink in his latest book When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing, when you do something matters more than why or what.

This is an essential insight because most of the leadership literature focuses our attention on the other two things. Anytime the word when comes up, it is around productivity or time management, but Pink takes a different look at it. He asks if when we do something matters for each person and the answer is “Yes!”

Here are three takeaways:

3 takeaways from @DanielPink’s new book “When.”

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1. When we do something matters. There is a time for each task. There is a better time for meetings, thinking work, administrative work, etc. If you are a preacher like I am, there is a better time of day to work on your sermon and time that you will struggle.

I found it fascinating that according to studies, 2:55 pm is the least productive minute of the day.

The reason this matter is because many times we are doing the wrongs things at the wrong times.

This is important to if you are a parent. Pink went into multiple studies that showed when students should do math or English, what the impact of taking a test in the afternoon versus taking a test in the morning.

Lastly in this section, the importance of breaks. I try to take a break and stand up, move around (outside is better than inside, with someone is better than alone, and without your phone is best) every 50-55 minutes. Just a short 5-minute break where I move around has proven to be incredibly important for me.

When you do something matters more than why or what.

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2. The ending is important. Pink points out how many Yelp reviews mention the end of an experience, especially at a restaurant.

This is one that I think has enormous implications for churches in how they end their services. I don’t know what this looks like because I feel like many church services, even at my church, just kind of end.

The end is what people walk away with, what they remember, so thinking through the end of a talk, sermon, class or service is crucial.

3. Understand the impact of the middle on a project. My personality is one that just pushes through something.

As Pink unpacked the beginning and end of something, which is very obvious to me, but he also talked about the importance of the middle and how often things are lost in the middle. Especially the energy of a team.

This was a fascinating book with a lot of implications. One I’d put on your summer reading list.

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God’s Answer to Our Questions & Doubts (Daniel 7)

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As I’ve been preaching through the book of Daniel, I’ve been struck by the struggles Daniel has and doesn’t have.

He doesn’t seem to struggle with confidence and courage in following God’s call on his life. When faced with praying to God or worshiping a false god (the king), he chooses God. Was it difficult for him? Maybe, but we aren’t told.

In the second half of Daniel, we encounter a switch in our Daniel writes. The first half is a narrative, the story of Daniel’s life, but the second half is apocalyptic. Apocalyptic means “revelation” so it is a revealing of something.

Many times, apocalyptic carries with it a sense of doom, but also a promise of God’s presence and power. It is two sides of the same coin so to speak.

How to understand apocalyptic texts in the Bible.

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Daniel comes to God in Daniel 7 with a question: why does evil prosper? Why are there mighty kings who are against God and His people?

We have the same question.

Why is my life so hard when I’m only trying to please God? Why do I have cancer? Why do I suffer when those around me who want nothing to do with God have an easy go of it?

Why am I not progressing the way I want to in my career, marriage or parenting? Why can’t my finances come together, but that person at work who cuts corners gets promoted and things his way?

God’s answer to evil.

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God’s answer though to Daniel is simple: Yes, evil exists and prospers but not forever.

This is comforting and hard all at the same time.

God gives Daniel a dream of 4 beasts, a throne engulfed in flames which the Ancient of Days sits on and the son of man (which we know from the gospels is Jesus).

Many historians debate who the beasts are and which kingdoms they represent. What we know is that they are kings and that they prosper in wealth, destroy people and nations, but they also eventually disappear, and someone else takes their place.

This is the reality and comfort God gives Daniel.

For us, when we come to God, asking why things are difficult or struggling to trust Him with today, tomorrow and the day after that, He often doesn’t provide us the answer we want.

He gives us Himself.

That’s what He did for Daniel.

What I found most interesting and is easy to overlook is verse 2 where we are told the beasts come out of the sea after the winds of heavens stir the sea.

God tells Daniel in multiple places of chapter 7, yes evil exists, yes it is difficult and hard.

But I am there. I am here.

That is the power and hope of God’s presence.

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Wednesday Morning Mind Dump…

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  • I love the weeks I am off from preaching.
  • Gives me a chance to refuel physically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally and relationally.
  • It’s good for my heart too because preaching can become an idol and a source of control for me, so not preaching keeps that in check for me.
  • The last month or so have been a whirlwind for me.
  • I’ve had more travel than normal because of my grandmother’s funeral, we’ve navigated a church plant we were getting to launch this year hit the brakes and we’ve been in the process of hiring a new worship pastor at our church.
  • It’s been hard but good.
  • In past seasons when stress is high, I get really irritable and difficult to be around and want to fight with everyone (or so it seems). Katie made the comment when the stress was at its highest how glad she was with all that was going on that we weren’t fighting.
  • What a testament to God’s grace in our lives and the work we’ve done in our marriage.
  • One of the things that came out of this last season for me is a renewed commitment to getting to bed early and getting 8 hours of sleep.
  • That’s fallen off and something I need to be doing.
  • I was reminded of the importance of this in Michael Hyatt’s most recent podcast.
  • I got to be in Las Vegas last week, which sounds really glamorous, but we stayed in a hotel 30 minutes from the strip in the suburbs.
  • Anyway, it was for an Acts 29 coaching cohort. It was with lead pastors of churches similar in size to ours.
  • So helpful.
  • It’s nice to hear that you aren’t the only one struggling with something.
  • Our team is reading The Culture Code: The Secrets of Highly Successful Groups. In it, the author recommends asking your team the following questions: What is one thing that I currently do that you’d like me to continue to do? What is one thing that I don’t currently do frequently enough that you think I should do more often? What can I do to make you effective?
  • It was scary and I know they weren’t excited about it, but it was so helpful to hear from them.
  • Right now, I’m preaching through the second half of Daniel.
  • I’ve been asked about books that would help with that.
  • Here’s one Kingdom Come: The Amillennial Alternative.
  • In the end, whatever you think about end times, the timing of Jesus returning, hold your cards loosely.
  • Lots of smart people disagree with each other.
  • Well, time to get back at it…
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The #1 Reason People Leave Your Church (And Love Your Church)

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People leave churches for all kinds of reasons.

They might move, their kids get older, their schedules change, the church moves to locations.

They also leave for theological reasons. Maybe a new pastor has a different bent on an important theological point. They may have changed the version of the Bible they preach from (not kidding on that one).

The preaching may have changed and it no longer feels as deep as it used to or now it’s too deep and isn’t focused on application like it used to be.

Some of the reasons are good and normal, some make pastors scratch their heads and wonder what happened.

What I’ve learned (and I don’t have a study on this), but I think the number one reason people leave your church is…

Your strategy.

Another way to put it: how you do church. 

The #1 reason people leave your church.

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Think about it.

Almost every church holds up Acts 2 as the model they are going after.

Almost every church and Christian would agree that we are to live out the great commission (making disciples) and the great commandment (loving God and others).

But how?

That’s strategy. That’s how you do church (for lack of a better word).

Your strategy is how you as a church uniquely live these things out.

Do you have small groups, classes, missional communities, men’s ministry, women’s ministry, a combination of these? That’s strategy, but they all get at how you disciple and connect people to each other.

What about kids and students? When do they meet? Do they serve? Attend the service? Are they off on their own? What role do they play in community groups?

All strategy.

How about preaching and music? Do you go line by line through a book of the Bible, jump around, preach topically? What kind of music or liturgy do you use? How often do you do communion?

All strategy.

Make no mistake pastor or church leader, when someone walks up to you on a Sunday morning and says, “We’re leaving”, if you press long enough, it will be the strategy, almost every time.

Now, this isn’t bad at all.

In fact, when this happens this should tell you that your strategy and culture are real and clear.

As well, this is also why people come to your church.

The #1 reason people come to your church.

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They often don’t know it, but your strategy is not only why they stay, but also why they come.

Why?

Because your strategy comes through everywhere. Your strategy on being simple, programmatic, attractional, missional or all 4, attracts them and others.

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Christians, Social Media and Having a Caring Heart

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It feels like more and more our culture is becoming more and more divisive.

Whether it is politics, religion, sexuality, race. Everyone has a take, an opinion and we shout it as loud as we can from every corner of our lives and social media.

One of the saddest things for me is watching the way Christians interact not only with each other but also with people they disagree with who don’t follow Jesus.

It’s an easy trap to fall into and one I’ve fallen into more times than I’d like to admit.

Christians and social media.

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Right now, I’m preaching through the book of Daniel and I’ve been struck by the friendship that Daniel has with the kings in the book.

It’s important to understand Daniel’s heart and view of his life. We are told again and again how everything falls under the rule and reign of Jesus:

… to the end that the living may know that the Most High rules the kingdom of men and gives it to whom he will. Daniel 4:17

… till you know that the Most High rules the kingdom of men and gives it to whom he will. -Daniel 4:25

… that you know that Heaven rules. -Daniel 4:26

… until you know that the Most High rules the kingdom of men and gives it to whom he will. -Daniel 4:32

… for his dominion is an everlasting dominion, and his kingdom endures from generation to generation; all the inhabitants of the earth are accounted as nothing, and he does according to his will among the host of heaven and among the inhabitants of the earth; and none can stay his hand or say to him, ‘What have you done?’ -Daniel 4:34 – 35

Now I, Nebuchadnezzar, praise and extol and honor the King of heaven. -Daniel 4:37

This is crucial because one of the reasons Christians shout as much as we do is because we often see social media or government as more powerful than Jesus.

Christians often see social media or government as more powerful than Jesus.

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King Nebuchadnezzar had a dream and it troubled him, so he called on Daniel.

The king told him the dream: I saw a high tree in the middle of the earth. It grew strong and its top reached to the heaven and the whole earth could see it. It was beautiful and its fruit was abundant and you could see it anywhere on the earth. People fed on it, birds lived in it, animals stayed under its shade. Then a watcher came heaven, a holy one, and he told me to chop down the tree, its branches, take off its leaves, scatter the fruits. Let the animals scatter. And to leave the stump.

In verse 19 of Daniel, were told that Daniel was dismayed and his thoughts alarmed him.

How to disagree on social media.

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He did not want to tell the king what it meant.

And the king sensed this so he told him, “Tell me what it means, don’t be alarmed and don’t keep silent.”

Before telling him the dream, Daniel tells the king that he wishes the dream and its interpretation were for the king’s enemies, for someone else.

This is important in our culture today because many people who claim to follow Jesus or more interested in being right than being loving.

In the gospels, were told that Jesus wept over the people who didn’t love God.

On social media, do you weep over the people who don’t know Jesus or do you find yourself trying to figure out how to win a fight or pick one? In your family, does it break your heart the people who don’t know Jesus or do you have contempt for them?

Too often our attitude is we’re glad we know Jesus and want others to know how sinful they are, how wrong they are, how superior we are morally more than we want them to know that Jesus loves them.

Here’s a question: Are you more interested in being right or helping people find life in Jesus?

With this heart, Daniel tells him the interpretation of the dream:

The tree is the king himself, whose greatness has grown and dominion now reaches the end of the earth.

But the tree is chopped down. Which means the king and his kingdom.

But the stump stayed, the roots stayed so there is hope he will grow again.

Only we don’t know how long.

The king was driven from his kingdom and made to eat grass like an ox, his body was wet with dew, his hair grew as long as eagles feathers and his nails were like the claws of birds; so that he would know that God rules the kingdom of men and gives it to whoever he chooses.

The king is learning, what we need to know, all things in our lives fall under the rule of Jesus.

Again, this is a crucial lesson for Christians in our culture.

Daniel’s heart is for this king. They may have been friends at this point.

How to engage lovingly on social media.

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Daniel is a great reminder of the kind of heart we are to have towards those over us, those we disagree with and those who make life difficult for us.

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Tuesday Mind Dump…

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  • After being out of town for the last week, it feels nice to be sitting in my office today.
  • I first went to Reno for the Acts 29 West Conference and then spent Wednesday – Sunday with Katie in Colorado.
  • The conference was good.
  • One of the best Acts 29 conferences I’ve ever attended.
  • Eric Mason’s message on justice was by far, one of the best talks I’ve ever heard on the topic and one I think every Christian needs to wrestle through.
  • She was shooting a wedding, and I officiated it.
  • The first time we both did that at the same wedding, so it was a fun time.
  • I love watching Katie use her talents in photography.
  • The wedding took place in Breckenridge, so it was beautiful.
  • One of the highlights for me was it snowed last Thursday, dropping 2 feet of snow on the top of the mountains, so I got to spend the day on Friday snowboarding.
  • It’s the first time I’ve ever snowboarded at 13,000 feet.
  • These pictures don’t even do it justice.

  • It feels good to be back though, but now that it is 100 in Tucson, I do miss that snow.
  • I’m so excited for this weekend because not only is it Mother’s Day (which is a big day at my church), but were interviewing a worship pastor candidate this weekend.
  • I can’t wait!
  • We’d appreciate your prayers.
  • I got to read most of Daniel Pink’s new book When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing on the plane.
  • I also finally finished Bloodline on the plane.
  • If you want to see broken family systems and family of origin issues on display, it is a fascinating show to watch.
  • On the podcast I co-host, we’re interviewing Greg Atkinson this week on first impression and guest services in a church.
  • So excited for that interview.
  • Definitely going to have my notebook out to take notes during it.
  • Casey and I also shared this week one of the most helpful exercises our staff did recently.
  • Well, time to get back at it…
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How to Glorify God in Everyday, Ordinary Ways (Daniel 4)

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I want you to think for a minute about the things that you do every day. More than likely, you spend a lot of time on these things.

It could be sitting in meetings, working on creative projects if that’s your job or hobby, cleaning up after kids, taking care of an aging parent, keeping a house clean, running family and friends from place to place like you are an unpaid uber driver.

Think of the places you go to often: the coffee shop, the gym, the school, work, that restaurant.

Many of us struggle to see how what we do every day can glorify God, yet all throughout Scripture, we are told to glorify God in all that we do. 1 Corinthians 10 says: Whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.

How to Glorify God in Everyday, Ordinary Ways

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Here’s the problem for us though, we don’t think the things we do every day can glorify God. we don’t think they are that important, but we spend a lot of time on them. So they have to matter.

If you’re like me, you think, but they are too ordinary, too normal, too small, too everyday kind of things.

Where does this come from?

Some of it is cultural and our desire to do great things, be great, be remembered.

Some of it is a Christian culture that says if you don’t do something great and big for God, it doesn’t count.

That’s a lie.

One author said, “My concern is that the activist impulse at the heart of evangelicalism can put an enormous burden on people to do great things when what we need most right now is to do the ordinary things better. We can miss God in the daily stuff, looking for the extraordinary Moment. If we were more serious about these ordinary means of grace, I’m convinced the church would have a much stronger witness in the world today.”

Daniel 4 is a great reminder that everything in our world and in our lives falls under the rule and reign of Jesus, which gives us a great picture of how important all the ordinary, every day things are.

… to the end that the living may know that the Most High rules the kingdom of men and gives it to whom he will. Daniel 4:17

… till you know that the Most High rules the kingdom of men and gives it to whom he will. -Daniel 4:25

… that you know that Heaven rules. -Daniel 4:26

… until you know that the Most High rules the kingdom of men and gives it to whom he will. -Daniel 4:32

… for his dominion is an everlasting dominion, and his kingdom endures from generation to generation; all the inhabitants of the earth are accounted as nothing, and he does according to his will among the host of heaven and among the inhabitants of the earth; and none can stay his hand or say to him, ‘What have you done?’ -Daniel 4:34 – 35

Now I, Nebuchadnezzar, praise and extol and honor the King of heaven. -Daniel 4:37

One of the interesting things about Daniel 4 is that Daniel is now middle age.

You start to ask different questions in your 40’s compared to your 20’s.

Many times in our teens and 20’s and even into our 30’s, the questions and struggles of life and faith are often around doing great things, big things. Experiencing the power of God.

As we move into our 30’s, 40’s 50’s and beyond, the questions start to center around: Is God still with me? Does God still have good plans for me? Am I doing the right things? Did I miss it? Am I making the most of my opportunities?

In Daniel 4, we find Daniel interpreting another dream for the king.

While this seems extraordinary for us, this was Daniel’s job.

But to Daniel, this was something God gifted him in, a talent God gave to him. This was normal for him. This is important; because we struggle to see how the things we do or are gifted at, fall under the authority and rule of Jesus.

We struggle to see how the things we do or are gifted at, fall under the authority and rule of Jesus.

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I love the message version of Romans 12:1: So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering.

This means when you are singing to your kids, cleaning up after someone, driving someone to work, paying for lunch, going to the gym. The ordinary, everyday things you do all the time. They are an act of worship to your Father in Heaven who has placed you in that place at that moment and given you the talents needed for that place, whatever it is. No matter how big or small it is.

In her fantastic book, Theology of the Ordinary, Julie Canlis said, The Spirit’s primary and most difficult work is to persuade believers to act like children, to pray like children, to help them delight in the Fatherhood of God, to be gentle with themselves and to be, long before they do. Our identity as children of God is not something of which we can convince ourselves. It is the Holy Spirit, who without, we cannot experience the Fatherly favor of God or the benefits of Jesus.

God may call you to do great things that change the world. He may also call you to do small, ordinary, everyday things that change your corner of the world.

Be faithful in both.

How to Glorify God in Everyday, Ordinary Ways

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Career, Kids, Values & What we Worship

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Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “What dominates our imaginations, and our thoughts will determine our lives.”

“What dominates our imaginations, and our thoughts will determine our lives.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

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What dominates your imagination and thoughts?

We know what we’d like to have dominate our imagination and thoughts, but that isn’t always the case.

The reality is, the things that we think about, the feelings we have, those become our idols, and they drive our lives.

Ultimately, they become what we worship.

But how do you know what that is?

Here are a few questions:

Questions to discern the idols of your heart.

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  • What do you worry about? What do you daydream about? These are important things to you; they aren’t necessarily bad things. It could be money, your kids, career, health, a vacation, dream home.
  • What do you use to comfort yourself when life gets tough, or things don’t go your way? It could be food, drugs, alcohol, work, working out, sex, even pushing past the threshold of what is healthy.
  • What, if I lost would make me think life wasn’t worth living? Like the first one, there’s a good chance this isn’t a bad thing. In fact, this could be a devastating thought, but again, this is getting to the heart of what matters the most to you.
  • What makes you feel the most self-worth? What do you lead with in a conversation? Early on, what do you want to make sure people know about you? These all go together, but they get to the heart of who you are and the story you tell yourself and the story you want others to know about you. You might want people to know what you do for a job, how awesome you are, how much hurt you’ve experienced in life. You might want people to know that you are needed, and you want to be needed by them.
  • What is your hope for the future? What will complete you? This is the question of, if you accomplish this, get this, what would make you think, “this is the good life, I have arrived.”

Why ask these questions? They get to the heart of what we worship.

Worship is our response to what we value most.

Worship is our response to what we value most.

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That’s what Daniel 3 and the focus of the book of Daniel.

What we value and what we worship because they are the same thing and then determine what our lives become.

In the book of Daniel, the word king and kingdom is used over 150 times.

When we think of kings, we think of Europe or a movie or show we’ve seen; we don’t often think of our lives or our hearts.

But all of us have a king of our lives, a king of our hearts.

That is about worship.

How do you find out what you worship?

The easiest way, besides the questions above, is to look at your life when it is hard or painful.

What we worship becomes obvious when life is the hardest.

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In Daniel 3, King Nebuchadnezzar builds a statue and demands that everyone bow down and worship it when they hear the music. But, 3 of the king’s wise men: Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego refuse. They are willing to be killed to stick to their beliefs, values, and worship.

Most of us won’t face a life and death situation when it comes to worship, but what this passage shows us is the stakes of worship.

When we put our kids above Jesus, we don’t think of it as a sin or a bad thing, we think of it as parenting. This priority can have disastrous implications for us, our kids and one day our grandkids.

When we prioritize our job and career over relationships (or things that will last) and our relationship with Jesus, we will say things like, “I’m just trying to provide for my family” which sounds noble, but it also feeds a desire and idol that we have.

Once the king sees that they won’t worship his statue, he throws them into the fiery furnace.

What is incredible is before this moment, when the king confronts them, they reply “Our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But if not, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.”

Here’s the thing about worship, values, and idols. They are all to provide us with deliverance. They provide us with hope, life, vision, joy, and happiness. If they don’t offer that, they at least promise that. That’s why we purchase anything, work like we do and stress our kids out by signing them up for every activity under the sun.

For these three men, they knew what would deliver them and trust in that God.

 

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6 Things I Wish I Knew About Marriage When I Got Married

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This month marks 16 years of marriage for Katie and I. It is hard to believe all of life that we have lived together when I think back to meeting her when I was 16 and she was 14.

Like most couples, we were really idealistic about life and marriage when we said: “I do.”

6 things I wish I knew when I got married.

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In light of that, here are some lessons we’ve learned over the years that I wish we would’ve known at the beginning:

It will be harder than you think. When you get married, you think it will be easy. After all, you’ve been dating for awhile, maybe you’ve lived together so how different can it be.

A lot different.

I think this one thing hits couples like a train when they get married and they aren’t prepared for how difficult and hard it will actually be.

Schedules, living together, sharing things, meshing family stories, careers, kids, mortgage, credit and school debt, aging parents. All of it blends together to be harder than you expected.

I think if couples could walk into marriage knowing how hard it will actually be, they will be further down the road than most couples.

This isn’t to make you depressed at all, but to help you be realistic about what you are walking into.

Your marriage will be harder than you think.

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It will be better than you expect. I told you it isn’t all bad news.

Marriage is difficult, yes, but like everything in life, there are plenty of beautiful moments as well.

When I said “I do” I was not prepared for how great it would be.

Why?

I had met very couples who actually enjoyed their marriage. Most of the people I’ve seen stay married were miserable (or at least tolerating their marriage). In the same way that couples need to be realistic about the challenges awaiting them, they should be hopeful about how amazing it will actually be.

The history that Katie and I share is incredible. From raising kids, traveling to different places, sharing experiences, meals, and sunsets, all add up to more than I imagined.

Your marriage be better than you expect.

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You are more broken than you think. I had an older guy tell me before I got married, “you’re about to find out how selfish you are.” He was right. Marriage has a way of showing you how broken you are. While most of the time we think it’s the other person (we’ll get to that in a minute), a lot of the problem in marriage is us. That’s where a lot of hope lies in marriage because the only person we have power over or influence over is ourselves, not our spouse. In fact, Katie and I did an entire sermon series on this topic. You can only change you.

Before you jump the gun and say, “My marriage would be better if my spouse did _____.” That might be true. But there are hundreds of things you could do to improve your marriage as well. Why not start there?

Your spouse isn’t as broken as you think. In the same way that you have rose-colored glasses about yourself, you need to do a better job of seeing your spouse for who they are and who they are and they aren’t as bad off as you think.

Many marriages hit a snag when they think that the other person is the only problem or that the other person is the biggest problem. Remember, you fell in love with this person. You said “I do” to them.

They aren’t as bad as you make them out to be.

This is where extending grace in your marriage becomes crucial.

Your spouse isn’t as broken as you think.

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Be a student of yourself. I’m surprised at how little people know about themselves. Most people I talk to don’t know if they’re introverts or extroverts or what that means for them, they don’t understand their personality or enneagram or the strengths and talents they have. This leads to all kinds of frustration because they often end up in jobs that don’t fit them or situations that work against who they are.

You should be more knowledgeable about yourself than anyone else is, but that is rarely the case.

Be a student of your spouse. Second to knowing yourself is knowing your spouse. I don’t mean simply what they like or dislike (although that’s very important), but understanding their story and how they’re wired. One of the byproducts of a great marriage is when each person helps the other become a better version of themselves through encouragement and growth opportunities. Do you know what your spouse wants to grow in? What dreams they have? You should because you are in a unique position to help them accomplish those.

6 important marriage lessons.

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All couples could grow in any of these lessons (and we aren’t all the way there) and many others. So where do you start? Anywhere.

Too many couples seem to shrug and say, “This is as good as it’s going to get.” It doesn’t have to be that way.