Posted on Monday, January 23, 2023

How to Let Go of Shame

by Josh Reich

Photo by Sasha Freemind on Unsplash

All of us, to one degree or another, carry around the shame of things we’ve done, something done to us. Things we’ve said, things said to us—things we wished we had done and want to, that others had done. Shame shows up in many places and with all kinds of people.

We often overlook how much shame shapes our identity and lives. It becomes a driving force in our lives, how we work and how we relate to others and God.

Where does shame come from? To move forward in freedom, we must know where the broken places began.

John Piper says shame comes from three causes:

Guilt. This is the one many of us know well. The addiction, the hidden sin, the abuse we don’t talk about, the affair, the divorce, the poor parenting, our failure at work and in life. We carry guilt for ourselves and, often without thinking, for others. When guilt becomes public knowledge, we have shame. Now we are known for what we have feared.
Shortcomings. Shortcomings and failures are something all of us experience. Some of them are real, and others are imagined. Some are life-shaping, and other shortcomings we shrug off. It is the ones that are life-shaping that lead to shame. When our frame of mind says, “You are a failure, you aren’t good enough, you aren’t beautiful, strong enough, or worthwhile,” we experience shame.
Improprieties. These are the experiences in our life where we feel silly, look stupid, or are embarrassed. We make a mistake, and it feels like everyone knows about it.

These stories, experiences, and parts of our story become so much a part of us that, for many, we can’t imagine living life without them. We are the person this happened to, we are the experience that we walked through. We carry that, and we know that experience, and so often, it is hard to even imagine moving forward without our shame.

What do you do with your shame?

According to Romans 10:11, if you are a follower of Jesus, you will not be put to shame.

Yet shame is a driving factor in the lives of so many.

Shame is a driving factor in the lives of so many.

Here are six ways to move forward from your shame:

6 ways to move forward from your shame.

1. Name your shame. If you don’t name something, it takes ownership of you. This is a crucial step. You must name the hurt, the guilt, the shortcoming, the impropriety, the embarrassment, the abuse, the loss, the misstep, and the sin. If you don’t, you stay stuck.

Whatever you can’t name in your life takes ownership of you.

I’ve met countless people who couldn’t say the name of an ex, name the situation of hurt or talk about something. This doesn’t mean you are a victim or wallow in your pain, but naming something is crucial. Without this first step, the others become difficult to impossible.

The saying, “Whatever we don’t own, owns us,” applies here. This is a crucial, crucial step.

2. Identify the emotions attached to it. When we are hurt, we are emotionally wrecked and can’t see a way forward. We know that we are broken, and that life isn’t as we’d hoped, but we aren’t sure what to do.

What emotions are attached to your shame? Is it guilt? Loss? Failure? Missed opportunity? Sadness? Hopelessness? Indifference?

Name them.

Name the emotion that goes with your abuse, abandonment, divorce, failed business, dropping out of school, or not meeting your expectations or the expectations of someone else.

We often feel shame when we have a different emotion attached to it, but shame is far more familiar. Do you feel neglected or hurt, or sad? What emotion is conjured up from memory?

3. Confess the sins that are there. Do you always sin when you feel shameful? No. Sometimes it is a misplaced shame. It is a shame you have no business owning. You didn’t sin; someone else sinned against you.

Sometimes, though, there is a sin on your part. You may have sinned, and that’s why you feel shame. Sometimes your sin might be holding on to that person or situation.

Sometimes you must confess that your shame keeps you from moving forward and is keeping you stuck.

Bring those sins to light.

4. Grieve the loss. When we have shame, there is a loss. This loss might be a missed opportunity or missed happiness. It might be more significant than that and be a forgotten childhood, a loss of your 20s, a loss of health, or a job opportunity.

It might be a relationship that will never be, something you can never go back to.

As you think about your shame, what did you lose? What did you miss out on? What did that situation prevent you from doing or experiencing? What hurt do you carry around? What will never be the same because of that situation?

5. Name what you want. This one is new for me, but it concerns your desires.

Often the reason we stay stuck is that we know what stuck is. We don’t know what the future holds. Beyond that, we don’t know what we want.

We carry shame around from a relationship with a father who walked out. Do you want a relationship? Do you want to be in touch?

We carry shame from a failed business. Do you want to get back in the game?

Can you name what you want in the situation associated with your shame?

Sadly, many people cannot.

If you can’t name what you want or identify a desire, you will struggle to move forward.

6. Identify what God wants you to know about Him. When we carry around shame, we carry around a lie. In identifying that lie, we recognize the truth God wants us to know about Him.

If you feel unloved, the truth that God wants you to know is that you are loved. If you feel unwanted, God wants you to know you are wanted. If you feel dirty, God wants you to see the truth that in Him, you are clean.

Scripture tells us that God is a Father, that He is as close to us as a mother nursing her child, and that God is compassionate, slow to anger, abounding in love, gracious, tender, firm, and for us.

The list goes on and on.

In that list, though, is the truth, the antidote to your shame, and what you need to remind yourself of to move forward and live into the freedom of Jesus.

6 ways to move forward from your shame.

Freedom is hard.

Let’s be honest; freedom is difficult. Living in sin, shame, guilt, and regret is easy. It is what we know. It is where most people live and reside.

Freedom is scary. Freedom is unknown. Freedom leaves us vulnerable. Freedom leaves us not in control.

Yet, this is what it means to be a child of God. To live in freedom. Overflowing freedom.

Posted on Thursday, January 19, 2023

4 Tips for Preaching through the Book of Daniel

by Josh Reich

Photo by Alexander Michl on Unsplash

I just wrapped up a series on the book of Daniel. I did something with this book that I have never done with a book before; I split it up and put a series in between. We did Daniel 1 – 6 in August and September; then we did a relationship series and a vision series in between, and then for Advent, we returned to Daniel 7 – 12. The response was even better than I hoped and something I would do again if the topic lent itself to it.

Because I get asked a lot by pastors about sermon prep, putting a series together, and making the Bible relevant, I thought I’d share some tips for preaching the book of Daniel.

Why?

The book of Daniel is not one that many pastors preach through. In researching it, I found most people who preach through Daniel stop at chapter 6. I’ll be honest; it’s tempting to do. The first six chapters are filled with narrative, extraordinary faith, prayer, and God doing incredible miracles. The last six chapters are filled with visions, revelations, debated images, and a lot of head-scratching.

1. The book is about God, not Daniel, the end times, or your church. Yes, the book of Daniel has a lot about the end of the world, but spending your time on this does a disservice to the book and your church.

The word king or kingdom is used over 150 times in the book of Daniel. That is the theme, that is the battleground of the book. While focusing on Daniel and his life is tempting, and faith is an essential part of the book, it is about God and his power. The book is about the temptation to worship something other than God.

2. Don’t get stuck in the weeds. Daniel, like the book of Revelation, is filled with many images. These images are fascinating, confusing, and debated. One of the things we decided at the beginning is that we wouldn’t get into the timeline debate that centers on Daniel. You can see how we handled chapter 7 to understand how we navigated this.

Are there people in your church who want to debate the end of the world when Jesus returns? Who is the anti-Christ? Yes. What we asked was: What are these passages trying to tell us? For us, they returned to who God is and His character, so we focused on that. What do these passages tell us about God, because that is what God was communicating with Daniel? Why did God give these visions to Daniel and the people of God in exile? How are they good news and images of comfort and hope in a time of great difficulty?

How to preach Daniel and Revelation.

3. Tell people about God’s character and power. Preaching through Daniel, especially when you talk about the lion’s den and furnace, for those who are skeptical about God, these passages make you scratch your head. I had multiple conversations with people wrestling with, “Do you believe that happened?”

These passages, the images in the visions and dreams, are about the power of God and his character, who He is.

Your church needs to hear those things, which is an excellent opportunity to show their relevance.

Many sermons today, and I’m all for this, are based on felt needs and speak to what the people in your church are struggling with and walking through in their lives. Focusing on who God is, while not a question they are asking, is the question they need answering and is the hope to what men and women are struggling with when they walk into church.

This power not only catalyzed the faith of Daniel but can do the same thing for your church.

One of the most significant examples is how much Daniel prayed in the book. While preparing for the series, I missed this, but as I was preaching through it, it stood out boldly in the book.

We’re often told, “Daniel prayed as was his habit” (or something similar). That’s important. When Daniel came up against struggles and power, he prayed to a God he trusted who had the power to save him.

4. It helps your people face the end. One of the things that stand out is that the visions in Daniel 7 – 12 take place at the end of Daniel’s life when he’s in his 80s. He is facing death, and God gives him these visions.

As I preached through it, a few things stood out to me on this:

People have questions about faith to the end of their lives, which need to be answered.
God speaks to the hopes and fears we face at the end of our lives.
Many people in your church will face death in the coming year, and they need to know what God says in those moments.

Daniel is a book every pastor should preach through. It is relevant to our day and age as we struggle to live out our faith in a culture that is opposed to it. It is a book that reminds us of the God we serve and the power He has.

Posted on Tuesday, January 17, 2023

How to Make Decisions

by Josh Reich

Photo by Jamie Templeton on Unsplash

When figuring out God’s will, we often make it incredibly difficult. We talk about it mystically, heightening the sense that only a few find it. We wonder, does God have a specific will for my life? What if I miss it?

Does God have a specific will for your life?

This happens with marriage; is there the one for me, and what if I marry the wrong one?

If there’s an open door, is that God’s will? Is it God’s way of saying no if it’s a closed door?

We also look at people in the Bible, Noah, Abraham, Moses, David, and Paul, and see people that God used in incredible ways, spoke to audibly, and laid out his will. We see Noah getting the measurements of the ark. Abraham and Moses are told where to go. Does God still do that?

For us, we have something they didn’t have. God’s will is written out in the form of God’s word. We have God’s inspired, authoritative word. Over 31,000 words that God has given to us and preserved to show us how life is to be lived.

Have you ever noticed that you can often see God’s will for someone else before they can? Others can usually see it for you as well.

What if you are trying to figure out things in your life and hear the voice of God for you? God speaks to us in a variety of ways. He speaks through his word, opened and closed doors, friends, family, community, our desires and fears, and nature, to name a few.

As you face your next decision, whether big or small, here are some ways to begin hearing God speak, move in your life, and stop resisting His voice. That last one is a big one.

When making decisions, most people set out the pros and cons of choice and then choose the way with the most pros or the least annoying or uncomfortable cons. What if we thought about it differently? What if we looked at the framework God has given us in Scripture and asked, “Will this choice get me to where God wants me, or will it hinder me?” Sometimes, the choice with the most cons will get us there.

Over the years, a few things have helped me discern what God is doing or calling me to do:

1. Listen to the Bible and close friends you trust who are spiritually mature. God’s will for your life is not a mystery; in fact, it’s all over the pages of the Bible. He tells us how to be married, be friends, and parents, have integrity, honor leaders and government and bosses, pray, fast, worship, and be a good steward of our treasures, time, and talents.

If we do these consistently and wholeheartedly, we will rarely wonder what God’s will for our lives is.

Why?

Because when we listen to his word and wise counsel, we will do what he called us to do, what he designed us to do.

On top of that, ask trusted friends and mentors who you consider to be spiritually mature.

What do they do? How do they live? What do they say about the questions you ask or your struggles?

Listen to them.

Does what they have to say line up with Scripture?

If so, that’s a clue you are heading in the right direction.

Pay attention to what the Bible says to you.

During this time, you also need to make sure you are taking time to pause, sit and wait and listen. Don’t rush. One of the ways we get into trouble is when we rush ahead and get started too quickly.

2. Live out what the Bible and those friends tell you.

Here comes the part where many of us get off the ride: Live it out.

It is one thing to say you are going to get up and read your Bible or exercise and another thing to do it.

It’s one thing to say you are going to be more patient with your kids and another thing to show them patience and grace.

Life is filled with regrets, missed opportunities, and a laundry list of should’s and could’s.

Pay attention to wise counsel.

3. When you feel like God is speaking…act.

This leads to the last part.

Act.

Do it.

Don’t stand on the sideline.

Have you ever noticed that God is moving in the lives of people who act? I don’t know if he speaks more to them, but they seem to listen more and work more.

Now it is time to move on to what God has said and not look back.

3 ways to hear the voice of God.

While we’d love for God to give us a full roadmap of our lives, he doesn’t do that. We’d stay put if we knew everything that would come after a decision. That’s why the advice of Dallas Willard is so important: Do the next right thing. Take the next step that you see.

Posted on Wednesday, January 11, 2023

How God Grows & Changes Us

by Josh Reich

Photo by Hello I’m Nik on Unsplash

All of us in our life and faith journey will walk through trials. If you’re like me, your first response is one of questioning. We question ourselves; we question God, and we get angry at ourselves, others, and God.

Sunday, I started a brand new series on the book of James. In James, we see how God sees trials, which is incredibly important as we navigate them. James tells us to Consider it a great joy when you encounter trials.

This is a mind shift for many of us as we view trials as something we should avoid at all costs. James isn’t saying to go searching for trials, but he tells us there is a point to them. He tells us in verse 3: you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its full effect so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing.

So, trials build endurance so we can be mature and complete, lacking nothing. When trials come our way, we lack something to which only a trial can bring completeness.

But how does that happen? Throughout scripture, we see a few different reasons trials happen. In this list, I hope you can begin to see why you are walking through what you’re walking through:

6 reasons God allows trials.

Trials test the strength of your faith. It is easy to follow Jesus when life is going well, but what about when life isn’t going according to our plan? Trials demonstrate the strength of our faith.

I often think I deserve blessings and should get good things from God, and as we’ll see later in chapter 1, God gives good gifts. But God also allows trials because trials and gifts are needed to bring us to maturity.

Trials humble us and show us where we need to depend on God and deepen our trust in God. The more we’re blessed, the more we are tempted to see that we did it. We built our portfolio, marriage, house, career, and body.

When we walk through trials, we may experience feelings of loneliness, which is why many people use the picture of walking through the desert or the dark night of the soul to describe a trial. In these moments, we will find that God is who we cling to, and trials can deepen our dependence and trust in God.

What loneliness and the dark night of the soul do to our faith.

Trials show how temporary the things we hold dear are. We get so much confidence from temporary things. Money, stuff, security, medicine, experience, knowledge. We rely on these things to save us instead of God. Trials remind us that these things won’t last.

Trials strengthen our hope for heaven and eternity. The harder the trial, the longer it lasts, and the more we look forward to being with God in eternity. Without trials, we will see the world as not too bad and wonder what makes heaven and the gospel so great.

Trials reveal what we love. Many of our trials will involve a loss: of relationships, careers, finances, house, our health.

It isn’t wrong to love these things, but trials reveal if they have become an identity piece for us and if we are holding them too tightly.

Tim Keller said, “You can tell something is an idol in your life by the degree of emotion you feel when something blocks it.” All of us have idols. Idols are anything or anyone we look to do what only God can do. Only God can complete us, not a job, child, or marriage. Only God can fulfill us, not a dream, goal, or career. Only God is our refuge, not our home. Only God is our security, not our money and stuff.

Trials have a way of revealing what our idols and identity are.

You can tell something is an idol in your life by the degree of emotion you feel when something blocks it. -Tim Keller

Trials can strengthen us for greater usefulness. This is what James is getting at; trials build endurance. For future things: maturity, completeness, wholeness, perfection, lacking nothing.

Throughout Scripture and church history, God uses trials in the lives of people who impact our world.

Trials also help us help others. Walking through things in this world gives us an opportunity to walk with others as they experience trials.

The point of trials and difficulties in our lives.

Posted on Monday, January 9, 2023

How to Walk with People through Pain & Difficulty

by Josh Reich

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Sunday, I preached how to walk through pain and life’s difficulties. One of the things I couldn’t get to is how to walk with someone through pain; how do you let others walk with you?

This is often hard to do from both perspectives.

When you are the one walking through the difficulty, we tend to keep it to ourselves. We don’t want to bother other people; we think we should be able to handle it on our own or we struggle to wonder if people care about us.

It is hard to know where to start when you are a friend watching someone walk through difficulty. How do you step in and help? What do they need? Especially around sickness or death, it can sometimes be hard to know what to say or how to say it. We often choose not to do anything, even though we’d like to.

A few years ago, I read a great book by Kate Bowler called Everything Happens for a Reason (and other lies I’ve loved). Kate was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer, and in the end, she shares how to walk with people because it is difficult, we want to do it well, but we often find ourselves fumbling about it.

According to Bowler, here are some things not to say:

What not to say to someone walking through a difficult time.

‘Well, at least . . .’ Whoa. Hold up there. Were you about to make a comparison? At least it’s not . . . what? Stage V cancer? Don’t minimize.
‘In my long life, I’ve learned that . . .’ Geez. Do you want a medal? I get it! You lived forever. Well, some people are worried that they won’t or that things are so hard they won’t want to. So ease up on the life lessons. Life is a privilege, not a reward.
‘It’s going to get better. I promise.’ Well, fairy godmother, that will be a tough row to hoe when things go badly.
‘God needed an angel.’ This one takes the cake because (a) it makes God look sadistic and needy, and (b) angels are, according to Christian tradition, created from scratch. Not dead people looking for a cameo in Ghost. Do you see how confusing it is when we pretend that the deceased returned to help us find your car keys or make pottery?
‘Everything happens for a reason.’ The only thing worse than saying this is pretending that you know the reason. I’ve had hundreds of people tell me the reason for my cancer. Because of my sin. Because of my unfaithfulness. Because God is fair. Because God is unfair. Because of my aversion to Brussels sprouts. I mean, no one is short of reasons. So if people tell you this, make sure you are there when they go through the cruelest moments of their lives, and start offering your own. When someone is drowning, the only thing worse than failing to throw them a life preserver is handing them a reason.
‘I’ve done some research and…’ I thought I should listen to my oncologist, nutritionist, and a team of specialists, but it turns out that I should be listening to you. Please tell me more about the medical secrets that only one flaxseed provider in Orlando knows. Wait, let me get a pen.
‘When my aunt had cancer…’ My darling dear, I know you are trying to relate to me. Now you see me, and you are reminded that terrible things have happened in the world. But guess what? That is where I live, in the valley of the shadow of death. But now I’m on vacation because I’m not in the hospital or dealing with my mess. Do I have to take my sunglasses off and join you on the saddest journey down memory lane, or do you mind if I finish my mojito?
‘So, how are the treatments going? How are you really?’ This is the toughest one of all. I hear you trying to understand my world and be on my side. But picture the worst thing that has ever happened to you. Got it?

Here are some things to say:

What to say to someone walking through a difficult time.

“I’d love to bring you a meal this week. Can I email you about it?” Oh, thank goodness. I am starving, but I can mostly never figure out something to tell people I need, even if I need it. But really, bring me anything. Chocolate. A potted plant. A set of weird erasers. I remember the first gift I got that wasn’t about cancer, and I was so happy I cried. Send me funny emails filled with YouTube clips to watch during chemotherapy. Do something that suits your talents. But most important, bring me presents!
“You are a beautiful person.” Unless you are used to speaking in a creepy windowless-van kind of voice, comments like these go a long way. Tell your friend something you admire about his or her life without making it feel like a eulogy.
“I am so grateful to hear about how you’re doing. Just know that I’m on your team.” Do you mean I don’t have to give you an update? Did you ask someone else for all the gory details? Whew. Great! Now, I get to feel like you are both informed and concerned. So, don’t gild the lily. What you have said is amazing, so don’t screw it up now by being a nosy Nellie. Ask a question about any other aspect of my life.
“Can I give you a hug?” Some of my best moments with people have come with a hug or a hand on the arm. People who are suffering often—not always—feel isolated and want to be touched. Hospitals and big institutions, in general, tend to treat people like cyborgs or throwaways. So, ask whether your friend feels up for a hug and give her some sugar.
“Oh, my friend, that sounds so hard.” Perhaps the weirdest thing about having something awful happen is that no one wants to hear about it. People tend to want to hear the summary, but they don’t usually want to hear it from you. And that it was awful. So, simmer down and let your friend talk for a bit. Be willing to stare down the ugliness and sadness. Life is absurdly hard, and pretending it isn’t is exhausting.
*****Silence***** The truth is that no one knows what to say. It’s awkward. Pain is awkward. Tragedy is awkward. People’s weird, suffering bodies are awkward. But take the advice of one man who wrote to me with his policy: Show up and shut up.

Posted on Tuesday, January 3, 2023

10 Lessons from “Build”

by Josh Reich

Photo by ian dooley on Unsplash

Recently I read Build: An Unorthodox Guide to Making Things Worth Making by Tony Fadell. It’s part memoir, part leadership & organizational book. One that is worth picking up if you are a leader or a pastor. Many lessons are wrapped up in the story of his life and leadership.

Here are a few that stood out to me:

Ten lessons from “Build: An Unorthodox Guide to Making Things Worth Making”

The best way to find a job you’ll love and a career that will eventually make you successful is to follow what you’re naturally interested in, then take risks when choosing where to work. He spends a lot of time talking about how to get started in life and your career. He said all the stuff they don’t and can’t teach you in college – how to thrive in the workplace, create something unique, deal with managers, and eventually become one – it all slaps you in the face the second you step off campus. No matter how much you learn in school, you still need to get the equivalent of a Ph.D. in navigating the rest of the world and building something meaningful. You have to try and fail and learn by doing. He goes on. So when looking at the array of potential careers before you, the correct place to start is this: “What do I want to learn?”

When you’re in your thirties and forties, the window begins to close for most people. Your decisions can no longer be entirely your own. That’s okay, too – great even – but it’s different. The people who depend on you will shape and influence your choices. We know this as we age, but we take extra chances when we’re younger.

The way I made decisions in my 20s isn’t how I make decisions in my 40s because my life is different. I’m going after other goals, and different things matter to me. In my 20’s, I focused more on building my platform and career. In my 40’s, I’m more focused on my kids and the people they are becoming.

It is crucial as we age to evaluate how we make decisions, what drives us, and what our willingness to take risks is.

Customers need to see that your product solves a real problem they have today – not one they may have in some distant future. Pastors need to think about this more when they preach. What is the tension your sermon speaks to? This doesn’t mean that should drive your sermon, but can you articulate what problem your sermon will solve? Do you tell people what it will solve?

Meetings should be structured to get you and the team as much clarity as possible. We’ve all sat in meetings that accomplished very little, that wasted time, or left us confused. The whole section on meetings was an excellent reminder for me. Does everyone leave a meeting with as much clarity as possible? Asking, “Are we clear on everything, and who will do what?”

A great deal of management comes down to managing your fears and anxieties. The longer I lead, the more I see how my past affects me. Now, your past can be a great teacher to make sure that you choose the right path in the future. But, if you don’t deal with your past, it will have a way of rearing its head in your present and potentially harm your future.

Many pastors and leaders make decisions based on their fear and anxieties without realizing it.

A great deal of management comes down to managing your fears and anxieties.

You must consistently check to see if you are acting out or making decisions out of your fears and anxieties. How much are they playing a role in your daily life?

You must pause and clearly articulate the “why” before convincing anyone to care about the “what.” Years ago, one of my jobs when I joined a team, was to find out the “why” behind what the church did. I spent months meeting with leaders, teams, and departments, asking, “why do you do what you do? Why did this ministry start? Why do we keep doing it?” Do you know what I found? Most people at that church could not articulate why they did what they did; they couldn’t articulate why they started something, only “what” they did.

What matters, it matters a lot. But, as Simon Sinek pointed out years ago, the why will always win the day, and you need to start there.

Many churches, teams, and companies can tell you what they do, but that isn’t as important as why you do something. Leaders must be clear and ensure their teams understand why they do something.

You cannot be afraid to disrupt the thing that made you successful in the first place. This is a hard lesson for leaders, no matter who they are. Especially if you created the thing that makes you successful, leaders must consistently ensure that what “got them there” doesn’t hold them back from what is next. This is why continuing to return to “why” you do something is so important.

If you have fifty people who understand your culture and add a hundred who don’t, you will lose that culture. It’s just math. The longer I lead anything, the more critical I see the culture of a church. The culture of the church decides what gets done and what is essential. Culture is how things happen. You can have the greatest strategy or ministry idea, but it will only be effective if your culture doesn’t fight against that.

The most important thing you have to pay attention to as a pastor.

The CEO sets the tone for the company – every team looks to the CEO and the exec team to see what’s most critical and what they need to pay attention to. This took me too long to learn. I used to think that if I said the right things, people would know what to do, but I’ve learned that my actions tell people what matters. Does starting on time matter? What things do I check and double-check? What stats do I check? Those things tell my team and our church what matters most.

Then as you lead, “Your team amplifies your mood.” Your team takes what you think is essential and passes it on. If you want to change your church, you must decide what is critical and start paying attention to that and amplifying that.

The lead pastor sets the tone for the church.

Posted on Wednesday, December 21, 2022

The 10 Most Read Posts of 2022

by Josh Reich

Photo by Florian Klauer on Unsplash

As we near the end of the year, I thought I’d repost the top 10 posts from this year, just in case you missed them or want to go back.

A lot has happened in my life, and many lessons have been learned, which come through in the posts. Here they are:

The most read posts of 2022.

The top 10 articles of 2022.

Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2022

Finding Hope, Fighting Cynicism at Christmas

by Josh Reich

Photo by Ron Smith on Unsplash

We have a lot of feelings at Christmas time. Feelings of happiness and joy, laughter, parties, and gifts.

But we also experience some deeper, sadder feelings. The feelings of loneliness, being left out or forgotten. But one feeling creeps up on us, especially as we age. And that’s cynicism.

It’s easy at Christmas to be cynical. To look at people and think life doesn’t turn out that way. Like the commercials, people don’t just buy cars for their spouse without telling them. It’s easy to hear children’s dreams and think, good luck with that. I wish I could get the new iPhone too! To watch another hallmark movie and feel you can’t just leave the big city and move to a small town in New England and find love! It doesn’t work like that.

We do this with God too. To hear the stories of Jesus coming to earth and think, God doesn’t love like that. He doesn’t enter into the messiness of my story.

Advent is the answer to our cynicism and skepticism. The weeks remind us that when Jesus came and when Jesus comes again, we have hope, joy, peace, and love. Those aren’t just words for songs; they are real things and things we need.

But another reason we get cynical is we’re tired of waiting. We’re tired of trusting. We’re tired of asking: When will God heal my body and mend my relationships? When will God free me from this addiction? When will God do this for the people closest to me?

What do we do with our cynicism, so it doesn’t ruin our holidays?

Carey Nieuwhof said, “Cynicism happens not because you don’t care but because you do.”

Cynicism happens not because you don’t care but because you do. -@cnieuwhof

The places in our lives where we become cynical are deeply personal hopes and dreams that we carry for our present and future.

In this place, we have to battle for contentment and fight cynicism.

One of the things we miss when we think about contentment is that our contentment in life, marriage, parenting, and leadership is not just about us but all the people connected to us. Our spouse and kids are affected by our contentment or lack thereof.

If you are a pastor, leader, or boss, those following you are impacted by the contentment or cynicism you feel. As a parent, your kids feel the weight of cynicism or the joy of your contentment.

As a parent, your kids feel the weight of cynicism or the joy of your contentment.

We can easily beat ourselves up because of contentment and cynicism ebb and flow.

But how do you fight for contentment, especially if you are not naturally optimistic?

3 ways to fight cynicism.

Surround yourself with contented people. A thankful person is a joy to be around. Get around them, listen to them. They have peace that few other people have.

Learn what leads to cynicism. If you are a church planter or pastor, cynicism comes from hearing about a larger church or a church planter who was given a building out of the blue (that’s mine). If you are a parent, it might be hearing about another family or seeing something on Instagram. Know your triggers. Know when they might hit. Hint: it will often happen when you are tired or emotionally depleted. Just be aware of that.

Be grateful for what you have. One of the practices that has helped me this past year is writing down at least three daily things I am thankful for. This has caused me to pause in my day and see how things are going well, things I can celebrate.

Posted on Monday, December 12, 2022

My Favorite Books of 2022

by Josh Reich

Photo by Tom Hermans on Unsplash

It’s that time of year. When I look back over what I’ve read and list out my favorite books of the year!

Admittedly, I read fewer non-fiction books this past year. Part of that was the energy our move across the country took and settling into life here. I’m also finding that I need to give my brain a break and enjoy more fiction and historical books.

Below is a photo of my favorite books of the year, with my favorite one on top. To see everything I read this year, go here.

If you’re curious about past years’ lists, click on the numbers: 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2018, 2019, 2020, and 2021.

First, the fun books!

Here are my 6 favorite novels of the year:

My favorite novels of 2022

Here are my favorite books of the year:

10. The Power of Place: Choosing Stability in a Rootless Age. I didn’t read this before we moved, but it said many things we have thought about over the years about the power and importance of place in our lives. I put a big emphasis on place, and this book was helpful to have a theology on it. Suppose you are trying to find your place in this world, where you should live, etc. This is a helpful book on that.

9. Invitation to a Journey: A Road Map for Spiritual Formation. I have had this book on my shelf for a long time and finally got around to reading it. Wow. The section on spiritual formation and personality was fascinating. It helped name some things in my life that I needed to be aware of and some deficiencies I can easily fall into as a pastor.

8. How Minds Change: The Surprising Science of Belief, Opinion, and Persuasion. Everyone who preaches and communicates should read this book. Most sermons go after the wrong argument, and this book was eye-opening to what changes people’s minds from a scientific perspective.

7. Letters to a Young Pastor: Timothy Conversations between Father and Son. This book was so rich and soul-stirring. Eugene Peterson wrote letters to his son as his son started in ministry. This is a book I’ll come back to in the coming years.

6. A Non-Anxious Presence: How a Changing and Complex World will Create a Remnant of Renewed Christian Leaders. If there is one book pastors need to read as we move into a post-pandemic, divisive world, this is it. It names what we have felt and experienced and a way forward.

5. The 6 Types of Working Genius: A Better Way to Understand Your Gifts, Your Frustrations, and Your Team. I love personality tests and explaining why we do what we do in work, life and relationships. This book was something we took our staff and elders through and has been incredibly helpful in understanding our wiring as a team.

4. Attached to God: A Practical Guide to Deeper Spiritual Experience. While I disagree with the author on some theological areas, this book was beneficial for me to understand my relationship with God and how I process that based on what I’ve experienced in life and relationships.

3. The Coddling of the American Mind: How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas Are Setting Up a Generation for Failure. I have recommended this book to every parent of teenagers since I read it—a must-read for parents.

2. Leadership on the Line: Staying Alive Through the Dangers of Change. This is a bit of cheating since I’ve read this book three times, but it is still relevant and spot-on. If you are leading change of any kind, this book has to be at the top of your list. This book has saved me many times as I’ve led change processes over the years.

1. From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life. I’m starting to read and think more about the second half of life as I get older, and this book answered many questions and helped me think through a roadmap for my future steps. If you’re over 40, you should read this book.

My 10 favorite books of 2022

Posted on Wednesday, December 7, 2022

Pastors & the Christmas Season

by Josh Reich

Photo by Andreea Radu on Unsplash

Christmas is right around the corner, which means for pastors, one of the busiest days/weekends is right around the corner. It can be a huge challenge to balance work, family, traveling, parties, AND Christmas Eve services.

And right now, pastors are more tired and exhausted than ever before.

Pastor, make sure you rest this Christmas season. Here’s how…

Because most pastors will be working on December 24th, I wanted to share some ideas I’ve learned over the years and will put into practice after Christmas Eve.

Enjoy Christmas Eve. This post is about recovering after Christmas Eve, but don’t be a Scrooge. Enjoy Christmas Eve. Enjoy the services, the singing, the energy, and seeing new faces at church, and maybe some you haven’t seen in a while. If you’re preaching, like I am this year, enjoy it. What a gift to stand on stage and tell people about the God who came into our world so we could have peace. What a gift. And don’t forget to celebrate the gift of freedom Jesus gave you by coming to earth. The message you proclaim on Christmas Eve is for you, as well.

The message you proclaim on Christmas Eve is for you as well.

Now, onto the recovery and enjoying your break.

Watch some Christmas specials or movies. Or if you are tired of Christmas stuff, maybe you need to binge the new season of Jack Ryan or The Crown. But take some time and relax.

Read a book you’ve been dying to read. I’m a reader, and so are most leaders, so this is a great time to read a book you’ve been putting off. I don’t read books about leadership or church ministry when I’m off work. Use this time to give your brain a break from thinking about work. This might be a good time to read a book for your heart and soul.

Turn off social media and email. Hopefully, you are taking some days off. Our church is gracious and gives us a week off, so use that time to disconnect from work. Turn off social media (all anyone posts is what they got for Christmas and pictures of snow, and you can catch up on that later) and your email. You don’t need to check it. Jesus came to earth and will continue to run things while you’re off work. It will be okay.

If you are working and have services, try to take a break from social media and email. And if you can, find someone else to preach the Sunday after Christmas Eve or over New Years so you can catch your breath. One thing I did when I didn’t have other preachers on my team was to show a sermon video of a pastor I respected.

Have dinner with friends. I know, I know. You’ve been to many parties and around many people, and maybe you need some introvert time. But even introverts need relationships; this is a great time to have dinner with people who recharge you and build you up. Make some time for that.

Take naps (several). Get some sleep. Don’t set your alarm. My kids will wake me up anyway. But get lots of rest.

Be active. You also need to move. You don’t need to set the world on fire and do some Crossfit workouts (unless that’s your thing), but moving is great for your body to recover from preaching. This month, I’m planning some hikes and exploring to be outside when possible.

Celebrate what God did on Christmas Eve. It’s hard for some of us to celebrate what God did at our Christmas Eve services because we’ll hear about the church that had 30,000 people when we didn’t have that many. But God didn’t call you to that church; He called you to yours, so celebrate what He did at your church. Every changed life is a miracle. And remember, there will be people at your Christmas Eve service who have never attended church.

Watch some football. If you’re a football fan, this is an excellent week, as there will be many great college football games. So enjoy that gift.

Think through the new year. If you’re a new year person, consider what the coming year will look like. I do this process in June on my preaching break, but this can be a great time to pull out your personal goals and ask how you are doing and what needs to be adjusted as you hit the ground running in January. Here’s the process that I use.

How to make the most of your Christmas break.

Menu