Posted on Tuesday, October 12, 2021

Rise to the Challenge of Parenting & Leadership

by Josh Reich

One thought I’ve had recently (and maybe you’ve thought the same thing) when it comes to parenting and leadership is, “I bet it was easier in previous generations.” As a parent, dealing with teenagers and phones, all the technology, I’ve thought my parents and grandparents had it easier.

If you’re a pastor or leader, you’ve thought this as well, especially during covid. They had it easier in the ’80s and ’90s, before social media and online church. Church ministry was easier when people were mainly open to Christianity or had a church background.

Was being a parent or a pastor easier in previous generations?

Maybe it was.

Maybe it wasn’t.

The point is, we aren’t the first to think this. We aren’t the first to throw a pity party about it.

In Judges 6, we encounter Gideon. Judges is a fascinating book because it is filled with bad decisions, sin, violence, destruction, and God calling up leaders to lead in the face of incredible difficulties. Gideon is one of them. The angel of the Lord comes to Gideon in Judges 6 and says, “The Lord is with you, valiant warrior.” If you read this, you would think this is a great compliment, and it is. But Gideon has questions. We all have questions. This is like when someone tells us, “You got this. You can do this. You were made for this.”

Gideon says in verse 13: “Please, my lord, if the Lord is with us, why has all this happened? And where are all his wonders that our ancestors told us about? They said, ‘Hasn’t the Lord brought us out of Egypt?’ But now the Lord has abandoned us and handed us over to Midian.”

He asks, “What about what God did? What about the wonders and miracles that God did? Where are those?”

These are the moments of leadership and parenting when we say: What about when sermons were easier? When updating the music is what drew people in? What about when everyone had at least some biblical knowledge? What about when our kids didn’t have phones?

This is when we sit with our church and staff and say, “Remember things before covid? Remember the numbers, and what God did?” There is a sense of grief and loss at that moment. This is a sense of wondering what will be in the future and how things will play out.

While things are never as great or as challenging as we remember, we don’t know that in the moment of remembering.

While things are never as great or as challenging as we remember, we don’t know that in the moment of remembering.

All we know is that it is tough now. And that is what Gideon is reacting to.

Look at how God responds in verse 14: “Go in the strength you have and deliver Israel from the grasp of Midian. I am sending you!” Go in the strength you have. Go with the gifts and talents you have. Go with the experiences you have. Go with what you have.

If you are leading in this moment, you have all that you need to lead. God didn’t call someone else. He called you.

If you are parenting at this moment, you are the parent your kids need. God has called you, not someone else.

If God wanted you to lead or parent in the 90’s, he would’ve had it happen then. But he didn’t.

But like Gideon, we still complain. Gideon pushes back, questions God, complains some more, says he can’t do it. He says, “I am weak!”

And God tells him (and us) in verse 16: “But I will be with you.” The word ‘but’ is essential. It is God’s way of saying, “I hear you, but…”

I know it is hard to parent, but I’m with you.

I know teenagers and phones aren’t easy, but I’m with you.

I know ministry is challenging, but I’m with you.

I know people are afraid and divided right now, but I’m with you.

I’m with you.

Posted on Thursday, October 7, 2021

Hope and the Release of Control

by Josh Reich

Control.

It is something we all like to have, something we all want to feel we have, and yet, if we are honest with ourselves, we have very little of it.

We can’t control the stock market, our retirement, or our finances. We can’t stop things from breaking or falling apart. We can’t control our friends, our spouse, our kids, or our parents. We can’t control our health, getting sick, something breaking in our bodies, or even stop the process of getting older.

Now, in all of those things, there are things we can control.

We can fight against it and try to keep controlling things.

Which is what a lot of us do. I do it. I like control.

We can throw our hands up in the air and say, “What’s the point?” and give up. Unfortunately, some of us do this as well.

It is a funny thing to think that on the other side of releasing control is hope. That if we let go, we can find joy. It feels backward because we believe that hope and joy are found in control.

But what if hope and joy are found in surrender?

Hope and joy are found in surrender.

As I said on Sunday, we can let go of control when we surrender.

But how? And does it lead us to the life we want and hope for?

So, from one control freak (me) to another (maybe), here are some questions I’ve asked myself along the way to lead to surrender:

1. What am I hoping for in control? What does control get me in this situation? Now, if you are like me, you are thinking, I control things because I care. And that is true. But we still need to ask these questions. Not all control is bad, but most of the control we exert in our lives lacks trust in God.

Most of the control we exert in our lives is a lack of trust in God.

And at the crux of control and surrender is the question, can I trust God? And it is an important question. Do I believe that God cares about these things and these people as much as I do? Do I believe that God cares about me and my world as much as I do?

The answer is He does, but He cares about them in slightly different ways than we often do.

But back to the original question: When we exert control, what do we get? What do we hope for?

Often, we hope for comfort and a sense of peace when we control things, but that often backfires on us.

2. What do I control in this situation? Really? As we think about control and what we hope to gain from control, it is essential to step back and ask, “what do I control in this situation? Really?” The reason I like to throw the word really on end is that we can come up with all kinds of things, but that last question forces us to say, do you actually have control there?

Take any situation in your life right now that feels out of control. What control do you have?

The answer is some. You and I exert influence in all kinds of places that we often underestimate. If you’re a parent, you have a lot of influence on your child’s life. The same is true with finances, your health, and other vital relationships. Although you and I have control, it might be different than we expect. So it is crucial to know where we have control and what control we have.

So that we can release the control we don’t have, and surrender.

3 questions to help you release control and experience peace.

3. What would happen if I release control? In many ways, it is the surrender question; the letting go question.

For many of us, this is also the worst-case scenario question.

In the areas of your life where you exert control, what would happen if you surrendered those people, situations, and struggles to God? What if you let go?

It isn’t easy, but we know that God is at work through us and in us (Philippians 2:13), and that he will bring that work to completion (Philippians 1:6). That is why we can release control and surrender to God, and in that surrender, we find hope and joy.

3 questions for control freaks.

Posted on Wednesday, September 29, 2021

3 Things Every Great Relationship Has

by Josh Reich

We all want great relationships. We want them at work, school, and home.

If you’re married, you want your marriage to be as great as possible. If you’re a parent, you want to do the best job you can and be as connected to your child. The same goes for friendships, work relationships, and so on.

But what does that take?

We often know what a great relationship takes, but life gets in the way. What if the other person doesn’t pull their weight in the relationship?

Many things go into a great relationship and there are many things that can harm a relationship.

It has been interesting to me preaching through the book of Philippians because Philippians isn’t often seen as a relationship book. But, Paul talks about relationships a lot. And he gives some clear insight into what makes a relationship great.

In Philippians 2, he shows us three things that make every relationship great.

3 things that make relationships great.

Before diving into those three things, let’s do a bit of review and evaluation of your relationships.

Think about your most important relationships: Spouse, kids, parents, friends, co-workers, or boss. How are those relationships doing? Are they healthy? Unhealthy? Are they life-giving or life-draining?

Often, we run through things in life. We keep doing things and never ask, “How are we doing?” And then, if they aren’t where you’d like them to be, what’s the way forward?

That’s where the three things Paul says in Philippians 2:1 – 11 are so helpful.

1. Harmony. We know harmony when we hear it in music, and we know it when someone is off-key. Harmony in relationships is working together, not apart. Harmony isn’t the same note; it is playing different notes but having them work as one.

This is the goal of the Christian community. This is the goal of a church. This is the goal of marriage.

To be one.

Yet, when the world around us looks at churches, they don’t see people working as one, moving as one; they see people tearing each other apart.

Too many couples who claim to follow Jesus make fun of each other, work against the other person, do their own thing, split up to reach their goals instead of working as one.

Dating couples, this is why your goals, values and beliefs matter when it comes to dating. Unfortunately, one of the fastest ways to destroy a marriage is to have different goals, values, and beliefs.

Moving as one is loving the same things, united on the same purpose (Philippians 2:2).

2. Humility. In humility, consider others as more important than yourselves.

How do we consider someone? The word consider means to think about something, to ponder something before deciding. Humility, serving others, not giving into selfish ambition and conceit, is a conscious decision. It is not something we stumble into.

This is a daily, minute-by-minute choice to make others, and think of others, as more important than yourself. As Paul Miller said, “Love takes the low place.”

Love takes the low place. -Paul Miller

3. Helpfulness. This is how we come alongside someone and help them become all that God has called and created them to be. This encourages them, believing in them when they don’t believe in themselves, cheering them on, pushing them when needed.

Helping.

When we appreciate the other person’s gifts, talents, and goals (harmony), and can be humble to put their needs and interests above ours, we can help them because we are invested in them.

Now, back to your relationships.

Which one has harmony, humility, and helpfulness? Which one needs more harmony, humility, and helpfulness?

I’d encourage you this week to focus on one relationship and one word. What if you could move one relationship further, make it healthier?

Posted on Monday, September 27, 2021

Creating a Family Mission Statement

by Josh Reich

One of the things that I hear from lots of parents, and I’ve felt this at different times, is a sense of wondering if they are winning as parents. But, unfortunately, most parents feel like we are losing, like we are pushing uphill as a parent.

And let’s be honest. Parenting is hard work. It is overwhelming. Most of the time, we are simply trying to keep up, trying to stay up to speed on what our kids are dealing with. We are walking through the challenges they have, protecting them, but also allowing them to blossom.

The question then becomes, is there a way to do that? Is there a way to move in the same direction as a family? With your spouse? After all the stress, the late nights, the slammed doors, and hurt feelings, how do you keep your family moving forward?

If you ask most pastors or business leaders about how they would do that at church, they will talk about their mission statement and core values. They would say, “This is why my church exists, why my business exists, this is what we do, how we interact with each other.” But then, they go home and don’t use any of that knowledge with their family.

Almost ten years ago, Katie and I went through a practice that changed our family. It put us on the same page as a couple, helped to define who our family is and what we hoped our family would become.

It all started when I read Patrick Lencioni’s book Three Questions for a Frantic Family. In it, he walks through how to use what businesses and churches do in creating a mission statement and values, and how to do that in your family. I also recount some of the processes in my book Breathing Room: Stressing Less, Living More.

Maybe you’re wondering, “Is this worth the time? Will it matter?”

Creating a family mission statement helps your family make better decisions.

If you don’t do this, you and your family personally wander around aimlessly. How do you make a decision when both options seem good? Without a mission statement, you guess and hope you are right. With a mission statement, decisions become more straightforward. You are also able to evaluate things more clearly.

One of the things it helped Katie and me define is what we hope our kids know when they leave our house. What kind of adults do we want to send out into the world? I think too many parents are trying to raise kids when we need to think about raising adults. So for us, it defined what we mean when we say, “We want to launch five healthy, mature adults who love Jesus.”

Now, here is the beauty of a mission statement and your values.

How to figure out what makes your family unique.

Ready?

They are yours! You get to decide. You are in charge of your family. It comes out of your passions and who you are, how you and your kids are wired. The things that matter to us as a family may not matter to you, and that is okay. There isn’t a one size fits all formula for raising kids or launching adults.

The goal of parenting is launching adults.

Start by listing all the things that describe your family. Not what you hope your family or life is, but who you are. What is important to you? What matters most? What things will you fight until death? This list should be exhaustive. You are listing everything you can think of.

Now, start paring it down. Are there words that mean the same thing or can be combined? You are looking for about five words to describe your family or you personally. You want it to be short enough to fit on a T-shirt, so you remember it.

This is the hard part but don’t stress about this part. Instead, look for the ones that stand out to you, that resonate deeply within you.

Then, you want to put it into some sentence form. Something that says, “This is why our family exists. These are the kinds of adults we are hoping to launch into the world.”

Now, let me suggest a bold step at this point.

Then, share it with a friend, someone who knows your family well, and ask them, “Is this our family? Is this who we are?” This is scary but very important. When we did this, our friends pointed out a missing word, and it was incredibly helpful for us.

Once you have it, live with it for a bit. Then, look at it to see if you are making decisions with that in mind. See if it resonates with who you are as a family.

Once that is in place, put it on your wall so you will see it regularly. Ours hangs on a mirror in our dining room so that others see it, but also so we can talk it through during family dinners and see how we’re doing at living out our values.

Posted on Monday, September 20, 2021

Why Every Pastor Needs to Think Like a Church Planter (And How to do It)

by Josh Reich

Covid did many things in our world and our churches and organizations. All crises do this: they accelerate things and show what was hidden beneath our success. As churches move forward, I think one thing is true: All pastors must think like church planters.

You might wonder, why? Do they really? What if they aren’t church planters?

First, the why.

The reality is, everyone is a church planter right now.

Every church is a church plant, and every pastor needs to think like a church planter.

Most pastors I talk to are seeing 40-50% of their church come back. Most pastors and churches aren’t sure who is a part of their church anymore. There is a constant wonder of where that person is or what happened to that family. As a church planter, you constantly think about who is coming back, who is a part of our church.

Not meeting for several months to a year in some places in many ways wiped the slate clean for churches. It took away a lot of security, a lot of programs of things you used to do, or “the way things have always been around here.”

And the last reason pastors need to think like church planters is in how church planters think. They are dreamers; they try things others won’t try because they are simply trying to survive. But, they are passionate and want to reach people. Now, I’m not saying pastors aren’t like that, but many aren’t. And this isn’t about personality type. I’ve heard many pastors push back on this idea, but that doesn’t mean a pastor can’t think this way.

Here’s how to think like a church planter:

4 ways to think like a church planter.

Dream. When was the last time you dreamed about the future, the hopes and plans God has placed on your heart? Take some time to get alone and dream. Here are some questions to work through in that time. So many church planters start a church because they have a dream, see a church, and see a future. This is born in them over many years, and their passion grows and grows.

What do you hope and pray God will do in your church, in you, in your people over the next several years? What are you asking God for? What impact are you hoping to make? This isn’t necessarily about crowds and growth, but impact.

Clarity. What churches and teams need is clarity. So many churches and staffs are tired, demoralized, and exhausted right now. They have spent the last year feeling like they aren’t moving forward, that they aren’t doing anything. So many staffs have no idea what is important anymore. Most pastors lie down each night wondering what is working, who is a part of their church and struggling.

Many churches and staffs are tired, demoralized, and exhausted right now.

This is why clarity matters so much. Your staff needs to know what matters right now. It doesn’t mean that is the most important thing for your church, just what is most important right now. Something has to win; something is more important than something else. So I told our team: right now, the most important thing is rebuilding through Sunday morning. This means re-engaging people, rebuilding teams, and helping new people and those coming back get connected to God and each other. This doesn’t mean we aren’t doing other things, but it gives us a list of priorities.

So, for the next 3 months, what is the most important thing? The next 6 months?

Don’t go further than that. Most church planters aren’t. They live in monthly cycles. This isn’t the greatest long-term plan, but you are rebuilding. You are restarting.

Look around on a Sunday. Look at your teams and what you do. What isn’t clear? What is confusing? This is the time to get clear on why you do what you do.

Patrick Lencioni describes the job of a leader this way, “Create clarity, communicate clarity, over-communicate clarity.” So if there is one thing pastors need to do right now, it is to create and communicate clarity.

Create clarity, communicate clarity, over-communicate clarity. -Patrick Lencioni

Simplify. One of the things true of many churches is they begin things but never end things. And this makes sense because people are committed to something, someone started something. But over time, things become complex. Slowly, people can’t remember why something started or if it is even doing what it intended to do when it started.

This is an opportunity to simplify.

Church plants are often very simple, many of them meet in rented facilities or don’t have the staff, so they can only do so much.

This is a chance to ask of every program and ministry:

Why did we start this?
Does it still do that?
Do we still need it?
Do we need to tweak anything to make it more effective?

How to simplify your church.

Start over. I just started at a new church. There are a lot of advantages to starting new, to starting over. A church planter is starting over, starting new. They can do all the things they were never able to do at their last church, all the dreams and ideas they’ve had to put on a shelf, they can take off. The same happens in a move; you take all you’ve ever learned and apply it.

What if you did that without moving?

I remember reading something Andy Grove said years ago, “If the board replaced us (the leadership team at Intel), and they brought in someone new to lead this. What would they do? Why don’t we do that?”

If the board replaced us (the leadership team at Intel), and they brought in someone new to lead this. What would they do? Why don’t we do that? -Andy Grove

What a great question!

If someone new came in, what would they see? What would they stop? What would they start? Here is a list of questions I asked myself and influencers at my new church when I moved. I’d encourage you to ask yourself, your team, and influencers those same questions now. There is so much gold waiting for you if you will dig a little bit.

Leading right now is not easy, but leading was never supposed to be easy. This is an opportunity, a chance to reimagine what can happen and how God can use your church to reach your community and beyond.

Pause, dream, listen and move forward.

I’m praying for you.

Posted on Thursday, September 16, 2021

3 Things to Move a Sermon from Good to Great

by Josh Reich

There are many good sermons and good preachers, but there seems to be a level of great. Communicators that thousands listen to, thousands respond to and the Holy Spirit uses in incredible ways. So while I would not stick myself in that category, I hope to continue growing to be used by God as much as I can.

Before laying out the difference between a good and great sermon, a quick definition:

To expound Scripture is to open up the inspired text with such faithfulness and sensitivity that God’s voice is heard and his people obey him. -John Stott

A sermon is not a sermon if it doesn’t point people to Jesus. It is just a motivational talk if it is simply self-help and not focused on the gospel. So, yes, God is the one who moves in powerful and mysterious ways through the act of preaching, and we can’t make someone change. But there are things we as preachers can do when it comes to preaching and sermon prep.

With what a preacher has power over, what separates a good from a great sermon?

Three things.

3 things (you control) that separate a good from a great sermon.

Tell stories. We all know that stories move people; stories are engaging and memorable.

Now, pastors can go overboard and tell too many stories. As a preacher, I am more comfortable with logic, data, and history, and those can be interesting, but they rarely move people. I have had to grow in my storytelling ability, and I still have a ways to go. But, if you listen to great communicators, you will hear great storytellers who can build tension and add layers and details to their stories.

Edit. A lot. Years ago, I read this: For 33 consecutive years, 1981 to 2013, every Best Picture winner had also been nominated for the Film Editing Oscar, and about two-thirds of the Best Picture winners have also won for Film Editing.

One of the most overlooked skills of preaching is the ability to edit, to leave things out. As a result, many sermons that get preached on a Sunday are two or three-week series.

I remember saying to our feedback team recently, “I feel like I have two sermons here.” And I did. I had to decide which way to go, both were good topics, but I needed to pick one and go deeper.

What about length?

I know some pastors who wear it as a badge of honor that they preach 45-60 minutes. So if you can be interesting for that long, do it.

Let me confess: I have never listened to an hour-long sermon. Ever. That’s just me. My mind wanders off.

Editing is an overlooked skill for pastors.

One point. This follows closely with the second thing. People listening to a sermon cannot remember multiple things, only one thing. I saw this with a group of younger leaders I meet with. We watched some sermons, and 5 weeks after the one sermon, we were talking about it. Although the guy didn’t like the speaker (he said he was shallow), he could remember the main point he communicated 5 weeks later.

Make your main point into a simple, memorable statement. And say it again and again in your sermon. Make your church say it with you. Then, long after your sermon is over, they will remember the stories and that one statement.

3 simple ideas to improve your preaching.

Posted on Monday, September 13, 2021

Be the Friend You Want

by Josh Reich

Over the last several years, study after study has talked about the rise of loneliness and isolation. In 2018, almost 50% of Americans said they sometimes or always felt alone. In the last year, 1 in 3 Americans says they face serious loneliness. This is across the board in terms of ages, but the greatest rise has been among students. This has led to increases in suicide, alcohol use, and more.

This isn’t new. But it is more front and center in the midst of covid.

The reality is, we were not made to live life in isolation.

Are you lonely? Julianne Holt-Lunstad, a professor of psychology and neuroscience, said, “Loneliness is thought to be more of a subjective, distressing feeling, but it’s the discrepancy (or distance) between one’s actual and desired level of connection.”

Loneliness is thought to be more of a subjective, distressing feeling, but it’s the discrepancy (or distance) between one’s actual and desired level of connection. -Julianne Holt-Lunstad

Loneliness isn’t just something in our culture, but something that many people who attend church experience. This is incredibly sad because we were made for relationships, for community. The whole New Testament was written to groups of people, to churches. As Gordon MacDonald said, “None of us can ever be strong in the Christian life without intentional participation in a smaller group of people.” But many of us try.

None of us can ever be strong in the Christian life without intentional participation in a smaller group of people. -Gordon MacDonald

In Paul’s letter Philippians, we see this simple truth: Relationships are at the heart of joy and hope.

Relationships are at the heart of joy and hope.

We see how important relationships are to him in Philippians 1:3 – 11:

I give thanks to my God for every remembrance of you, always praying with joy for all of you in my every prayer because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now. I am sure of this, that he who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Indeed, it is right for me to think this way about all of you because I have you in my heart, and you are all partners with me in grace, both in my imprisonment and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel. For God is my witness, how deeply I miss all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus. And I pray this: that your love will keep on growing in knowledge and every kind of discernment, so that you may approve the things that are superior and may be pure and blameless in the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ to the glory and praise of God.

What is the hope of loneliness and isolation? Friendship, a community, moving towards others.

Paul tells us here what is incredibly important: A friend is safe, gives you their best, and brings out the best in you.

[Tweet, “A friend is safe, gives you their best, and brings out the best in you.”]

Paul tells us three important things in this passage about friends:

First, a friend remembers the best. Do you have a friend that remembers the best about you? Or just the worst? Does your spouse remember the best moments or remind you of the worst? Third, do you remember the best moments or the worst?

A friend will give you their best and bring out your best. Friends are partners, working together, moving as one, in the same direction. A great partnership is one where each person knows how they are wired, how they are gifted, what they do well and don’t do well. Then, they make up for each other’s weaknesses and blind spots. In a partnership, everyone knows the other person’s blind spots and brings them up, so everyone is aware. They don’t keep secrets.

In a partnership, they see the good work God is doing. They give their best and expect your best. When Paul says in verse 6, “God will complete the good work,” he is seeing what God is doing. This is the hardest to do in our closest relationships. In our closest relationships, we see all the weeds, broken places, and bad work. Paul is choosing to see the good work.

Here are some other ways this plays out:

Assuming the best about other people’s motives
Speaking the truth in love
Calling each other up to deeper, more authentic faith

A friend will pray the best for you. All of us need friends that we can text at any time of the day and say, “Pray for me about this.” Do you have a friend who prays for you? Do you have a friend that you pray for?

A friend is safe, gives you their best, and brings out the best in you.

Who is this for you?

Who are you this for?

A friend is safe, gives you their best, and brings out the best in you.

Posted on Thursday, September 9, 2021

Mission vs. “The Way we Do Things”

by Josh Reich

In his great book Canoeing the Mountains: Christian Leadership in Uncharted Territory, Tod Bolsinger quotes James Osterhaus on the principle of Red Zone-Blue Zone decision making.

The principle of Red Zone-Blue Zone decision making.

The red zone is making decisions that are “all about me.” The blue zone is making decisions that are “all about the mission.”

One thing I see creep into churches when it comes to decisions, though, is that the mission slowly becomes the same as “the way we do things.” The line between the mission and the model slowly becomes the same line. When that happens, a church easily moves into the red zone because they make decisions to keep themselves comfortable, not make changes, or to keep power.

The question leaders and churches need to ask themselves, according to Bolsinger, are, “Does this further our mission? Because a healthy system makes decisions that further the mission.”

A healthy system makes decisions that further the mission. -@todbol

Asking what furthers the mission and what furthers the way we do things are not the same question. Or, asking what furthers the mission versus what furthers the ______ (insert church name) way, are not the same question.

Asking what furthers the mission and what furthers the way we do things, are not the same question.

Too often, churches and pastors confuse the mission and the way they do things.

How does this happen?

Asking what furthers the mission versus what furthers the ______ (insert church name) way, are not the same question.

Here are a few ways this creeps in:

Not having a clear mission. The first way this shows up is in not having a clear mission. If you don’t have a clear mission, this is why our church exists and what we are put on this earth to do, then it is easy to drift from that because there isn’t a right answer.

Many churches are in this spot.

They lack clarity of mission, where they are headed, or even clarity of their strategy. And for many leaders and churches, it is easier to articulate “how” you do something instead of “why” you do something. As a result, pastors can often talk all day about how they do ministry, how they do a program but struggle to articulate why they started it, why it must keep going, why it must be this way instead of that way.

When that happens, the way you do church becomes the mission, and you make decisions to keep your job, to stay comfortable, and to not go through the pain of change.

Not having a clear model. Many pastors and leaders have not done the hard work of saying, “This is how we make disciples; this is how we do worship services; this is how we follow up with people.” It is far easier, they think, to bounce from one idea to another without actually asking, “How has God uniquely wired us and called us as a church for this time and place?”

How has God uniquely wired us and called us as a church for this time and place?

God did not place you in your church or in your city to be exactly like North Point, Elevation, Saddleback, or _____. He placed you there, to be you. So, yes, learn from others, steal great ideas and implement them, but do the hard work and ask about contextualization and what makes sense for your church and your area.

Falling in love with your model more than your mission. Leaders who do the hard work will find that their mission and model come out of their passion and story. This is one of the reasons it becomes blurry. And this is often why we fall in love with our model so easily. We created it, and it is who we are; it is what we like, what would reach us or does reach us.

But you must stay flexible on your model (the how) and stay clear on the mission (the why).

As Andy Stanley says, “Date the model, but marry the mission.”

Date the model, but marry the mission. -Andy Stanley

Continue to ask yourself questions like:

What is working?
What is not working?
What isn’t clear?
What did we start 5, 10, 20 years ago that doesn’t make sense anymore?

Jesus continued to come back to the kingdom of God. That was what he talked about. That was his mission. Yet, he disappointed people, met people in different ways and through different means throughout his ministry. Paul did the same thing throughout the book of Acts.

The mission was the same. However, the model and values shifted.

Posted on Monday, September 6, 2021

Managing a Job Transition

by Josh Reich

Many of you know that my family moved from Arizona to Massachusetts to take a new job as the lead pastor at Community Covenant Church. It has been quite a summer. Throughout the transition, Katie and I have tried to be attentive to what God was teaching us, what we could learn through the different interview processes, and what God might be preparing us for.

Since then, I’ve heard from many leaders who are transitioning or thinking about transitioning. More and more will happen as we move out of covid into this new world. To help you as you think about it, here is everything I’ve written in this last season in one place:

Finding the Heart of a Church

How to Interview a Church

How to Know It’s Time to Leave a Ministry

How to Know It’s Time to Leave a Ministry Part 2

How to Let Go of Your Last Ministry Season

How to Start a New Season of Life & Ministry

Don’t Waste Your Desert (While not a job post, looking for a job will feel like a desert)

When You’re Passed Over or Rejected for a Job

Why Job Hunting is So Exhausting

How to spot Red Flags at a Church During the Interview Process

Decide What You Won’t get in a Job

5 Questions to Ask Before Quitting Your Job & Taking a New One

The Hardest Part about Moving

And many of you have asked about books I read during the transition. So here are some of my favorites:

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Posted on Wednesday, September 1, 2021

When You’re Passed Over or Rejected for a Job

by Josh Reich

no sign

If you follow this blog, you know that my family and I moved to a new church in Massachusetts this summer. I’ve tried to spend a good bit of time processing leaving a church, how to choose a new job and church, starting a new season, and how to let go of a previous season (especially if you’re hurt).

At some point, you will apply for a job and get rejected. You may apply for a job at your current church and not get it (like I did), and you might see a co-worker or someone you know get chosen instead of you.

How you process this moment and the feelings that happen will greatly impact your future ministry.

So, how do you handle rejection? How do you handle it when someone says, “This isn’t God’s will for your life?”, as that will happen at some point for you in Christian circles.

4 things to remember when you’re rejected for a job.

Rejection isn’t always about you. If you’ve ever hired someone, then you know the feeling of liking multiple candidates and choosing only one. Often, it is a gut thing; sometimes, it is a data thing.

This is a hard one, though, when you are turned down. But the reality is, rejection isn’t always about you. For example, in the process of interviewing, I’ve heard things like:

We want someone more outgoing than you.
We want a deeper preacher than you. We want someone less deep than you.
You are too conservative theologically. You are too liberal theologically.
You aren’t in our “tribe.” We want someone outside of our “tribe.”
You’re too young.

The list goes on. And if you apply for enough pastoral jobs, you will hear some ridiculous reasons given to you that aren’t worth repeating in a blog post.

When you apply for a job, they have a picture in their mind of what they hope for and what they want. Just because a church doesn’t choose you, it isn’t personal. You aren’t a fit for them, what they hope for or what they want.

I remember hiring a person once because we lacked their personality style on our team. Of course, others were just as qualified, but we needed a specific personality and gift set for the next season.

But when it happens, and if it happens again and again for you, it is hard not to take it personally.

Job rejection isn’t always personal.

Have friends who will speak the truth to you. Have some friends in your life that you can call when you get rejected, and they’ll say, “I’m sorry. I know you were hoping for that job.” You need friends who will commiserate with you and grieve with you.

You also need friends who will speak the truth to you. I remember when I didn’t get a job, I called a friend, and he said, “You dodged a bullet on that one. I’m actually glad you didn’t get that job even though you wanted it.” He went on, “If you got that job, in 3 years you were going to be burned out, disappointed, fired because you failed and then trying to get a job.” Yes, that was harsh for sure, but he was right. I’m an enneagram 8, and that’s how close friends speak to me!

As you are applying for jobs, you need to have friends who help check your motives: your motives for leaving, applying somewhere, wanting to move to a specific place, etc. Too often in job hunting it can become like dating: you stop thinking clearly and it becomes all emotions.

Try to find out why and learn from it. If you can, get some feedback from a place that rejected you. They may Christianize it and say “God told them,” or they may say nothing. I got some helpful feedback on how I interviewed, how I came across, my resume, experience, etc., just because I asked people. They won’t always give you this feedback, but if they will, it is very valuable.

Sometimes a rejection is God protecting you or preparing you for something else. Sometimes a closed door is God protecting you from something you aren’t aware of. It is hard to learn everything you can about a church in an interview process. However, churches put a great foot forward, and so when a door closes, God may be protecting you from something.

He might also be preparing you for something else. And those are both great things, even if you can’t see them at the moment.

God may be protecting you by closing a door.

Don’t burn bridges. No matter what, no matter how much it hurts or how emotional it gets, don’t burn bridges.

You never know when you might cross paths with someone again. For example, in this last search, I interacted with an executive pastor I came across in an interview over 15 years ago. So you never know when you might meet someone again. And you never know if a church might come back to you for some reason or another.

A closed door may be how God prepares you for something else.