Lots of things matter in leadership. A leader must do many things: there are tasks they must complete and characteristics or traits they must have.
If you look at effective leaders you will often find similarities between them, regardless of age or experience.
Here are 4 things that really matter in leadership but are often overlooked.
1. Body language. We all know that feeling: the feeling that we are talking to someone, trying to connect with them, and they aren’t listening. Maybe they are scrolling on their phone, thinking about something else, or just waiting for us to stop talking so they can jump in.
How does that feel?
It’s deflating. It makes us feel uncared for. It tells us there are people or things that are more important than us.
Leaders do this all the time in meetings. I know it is a constant battle for me. What makes a leader successful is they often know something before the rest of the group. They know (or think they know) what someone might say, what the group will decide, what the right decision is, or what the way forward is. Thus, it is easy for a leader to tune out or rush things in a meeting because of this intuitiveness.
This can happen by cutting the conversation short, looking bored, picking up your phone, or any number of ways. But your body language and your movements communicate, and they communicate loudly.
This has become an even bigger deal in the last year with more and more meetings moving onto Zoom. Your face is bigger and more obvious now than ever before.
There is nothing worse than sitting in a meeting and thinking, “That person doesn’t want to be here. They are just waiting for this thing to end.”
This means as a leader, wherever you are, be there. If you need to be in fewer meetings so you are more present in the ones you are in, do so. If you need to schedule more breaks in your day to recharge yourself, do so. Turn your phone over and turn off your notifications so that you can give your attention to the people in front of you.
Your body language not only sets the tone of the meeting and communicates to your team how you feel, but it also tells your team what is expected of them and what they can and can’t do.
2. Clarity. Patrick Lencioni says, “A leader is to create clarity, communicate clarity, and then over-communicate clarity.”
Clarity, clarity, clarity.
Is this overkill? No.
Leaders often think, “If it’s clear to me, it’s clear to everyone.” Or, “I always talk about why we do what we do.”
The reality is, though, you don’t. And people forget.
A pastor or leader must continually say, “We are doing ____ because ______.”
If you aren’t a leader it is incredibly deflating if you don’t know why you are doing something. Suppose you don’t see any value or movement on something. You start to wonder, what is the point?
Not only does clarity matter, you must also communicate the correct things. There is no faster way to lose credibility than to say things that aren’t true or are disingenuous. Clarity must be communicated about where a church or organization is, not where you think it is or where you’d like it to be. Data doesn’t tell the whole story but it does tell part of the story. If your church isn’t growing, face it, and be clear about why and how to move forward. If something isn’t working, be honest about it. If it is working, celebrate that and make it better.
Make no mistake; you are already communicating clarity about something. You celebrate something on your team. You track one thing but not another. You celebrate certain people for certain things and overlook other people for other things.
That’s clarity.
Regularly a leader must ask, “Are we tracking, celebrating, and going after the right things?” It is easy to focus on short-term things instead of the long game. That doesn’t make those things wrong, but you have to evaluate if you are clear about the right thing periodically.
3. Lasting. If you’ve been a pastor or ministry leader any length of time, you know someone who is no longer in the leadership game. Maybe they burned out; maybe they slept with someone they weren’t married to; maybe they made poor decisions financially; or they got discouraged and threw in the towel.
Now, there are times we should step out of being a leader. Maybe it is a season where you take a break or do something else. I know many ministry leaders in the last year who got tired and transitioned into other fields. That isn’t what I’m talking about here.
I’m talking about the small ways we sabotage ourselves and the leadership, taking us out of the game, things that end our run before it should end.
Pastor, it is your job to watch your soul; guard your marriage; eat well; sleep well; and get enough exercise. It is your job to make sure you are filling yourself so that you can fill others.
How we do this and what it involves will often depend on our life stage, needs, and personality. I’m a creature of habit so I eat the same thing for breakfast and lunch. Part of that is tracking my macros, but also, if I don’t have to think about those things I’m saving mental energy for other things.
One thing leaders need to think more about is the rhythm of their weeks. When are they the freshest or the most tired? When do they run out of steam each day, and when should they finish work? Knowing this will help you figure out which meetings or tasks don’t take as much mental energy as others. Do those in the times when you are the most tired.
Make sure that what matters most gets on your calendar first. Schedule in breaks and make sure you look ahead to see what is coming up to make sure you don’t stack busy weeks and months on top of each other.
4. Passion. If one thing has become clear over this past year, it is that it takes a lot of energy and stamina to be excited. Yes, there hasn’t been a lot to be excited about. The last year with covid, the election and a whole list of other things have made it difficult to be passionate about leading anything. Many of the things we used to do have been taken away and we aren’t certain what the future will hold.
But leader don’t forget: you set the tone for your team and church when it comes to passion and excitement.
Maybe you need to change the goals you had as a team or start something new. Maybe you need to learn from someone else who is blazing a new trail, or watch a leadership talk that will fire you up. But you must remind yourself why you do what you do.
One of my favorite things at our church is to stand out in the courtyard and watch people get baptized. To see the tears, the hugs from families, to watch parents baptize their kids, and to hear people talk about their stories. It inspires me every time and reminds me, “This is why I do what I do, to see lives changed by the gospel.”
Whatever that is for you, please find it and remind yourself, often.
You must keep your passion high. Yes, it’s hard to do. Leading is tiring. Covid has exhausted us all. But we need you to stay in the game. Your church needs your passion and vision.
Never forget: if you are a leader right now, God has wired you to lead at this moment, in this time. Through the power of the Holy Spirit, you’ve got this.
