The Best Advice I’ve Gotten in the Last 5 Years

Sometimes, someone will say something to us that will stop us in our tracks.

I had a moment like that five years ago.

I was at The Leaders Journey, a formative 3-year journey for Katie and me. But over lunch one day, I was talking with one of the leaders about that. He’s an older pastor and counselor who said something that stopped me in my tracks.

He looked at me and said, “Josh, in your 20’s and 30’s, you have the energy to outrun your story and scars, but in your 40’s and 50’s, you don’t.”

At the time, I didn’t think I truly understood how important this truth is or how often I would think about it and refer back to it in my own thinking and conversations with others.

As I entered my 40s, I saw this to be true. But I have also seen it not only in my story but the story of others.

There are a few reasons for that.

In our 40’s, we often wake up one day and look at our lives and think, “I thought I’d be somewhere different by now.” Maybe you thought you’d be married or have kids by now or that those things would be different than they are. Maybe you thought you’d finish school, start a business by now or be further along financially than you are.

Another reason is in our 20’s and 30’s, we are building things. There is a lot of time left when things don’t work as expected. If you lose a job in your 20s or fail at work or school, it feels easier to brush it off and move on. In our 40’s and 50’s, life feels shorter. The days feel shorter. More responsibilities are placed on us, and it is harder for us to think about those dreams.

Third, we dream a lot in our 20’s and 30’s. I talk to very few people over 40 still dreaming and hoping for the future. Many of us fall into this rut of thinking nothing in our lives can change or move forward. Many of us think this is how it is and this is how it will always be.

And lastly, in our 20’s and 30’s, we have the energy to work and work. We have the energy to pretend things aren’t there, and we fill our days and weeks with many things to keep us busy. We don’t think about our stories and scars. Later in life, our energy goes down, and slowly, we can’t outrun our story anymore. We come face to face with what has happened to us and what we have done.

The reality is, your story can be changed and redeemed at any point, but the longer we live with our story without changing it, the easier it feels not to change or to lose hope and think it can never change.

It makes sense. The older we get, the more of life we experience. 

The older I get, the more acquainted with unmet expectations I become. 

The more I see the door to disappointment and cynicism

One of my favorite quotes about this idea is from Lysa TerKeurst: “Sometimes, to get your life back, you have to face the death of what you thought your life would look like.

Unless you wrestle with your story, you will always chase those things that fill the broken places. Part of being able to dream is allowing God to heal those places.

I heard Gordon MacDonald, a pastor in his 80’s, say recently: “At some point in your life, to be a happy old person, you must decide what kind of older person you want to become and then move towards that. Otherwise, you end up miserable because old age catches you by surprise.

Making Date Night at Home Great

Covid and quarantine have made everything challenging, but I think one of the biggest challenges is how to keep the romance alive in your marriage.

If that is something you are finding a challenge, or maybe you aren’t comfortable going out for dinner or having someone in your house to babysit your kids, here are some ideas on keeping that romance alive while you are at home.

  1. Have a plan. Nothing hurts date night more than having no plan. In the same way that you plan going out, plan what it will look like at home. What will you eat, who is doing what, what time will things get started? Decide those things ahead of time. You may have to be more intentional about the plan for date night at home because you are at home.
  2. Get dressed up. Don’t get into your pajama pants. Nothing shuts your brain down more at the end of a long day like getting into comfortable clothes. Wear what you would wear if you were going out.
  3. No electronics. The fastest way to kill most date nights is turning on the TV, no checking out Facebook or Twitter or your email. Concentrate on each other if you decide together to watch a show or movie, great but make sure that it is part of the plan.
  4. Plan a fun meal. It doesn’t have to be expensive or a feast, but something special. Something you wouldn’t normally eat. Katie and I love to try new recipes, so we’re always searching. There are so many blogs and ideas out there.
  5. Eat with your kids. At home, we do an appetizer while our kids eat so that we can still eat dinner with them, talk with them about their day, and it helps to hold us over until we eat.
  6. Know who will cook and who will put the kids down. It might be more relaxing for your wife to cook. She may want you to handle the kids or vice versa. Whatever it is, communicate that and stick to it.
  7. Pick a night you are awake for. There are certain nights you are more alert and awake than others. Find that night and do date night on that night. If you have a long day on Tuesday, don’t do date night that night. Maximize the night where your energy levels are highest. I find knowing which night date night will help me to be mentally prepared for it.

Bottom line, don’t let your romance fizzle out during this season.

Friday Five

Can you believe it is 2021?!

It is almost hard to believe that the calendar has turned and it is a new year, but it does feel good. Even if the cloud of covid is still hanging over us, it has been a few months since I shared a Friday Five, but I thought the first full week of 2021 would be a good time to dust it off.

So here goes:

Favorite books:

I read two books over the Christmas break that were both incredibly helpful and timely. One was The Motive: Why So Many Leaders Abdicate Their Most Important Responsibilities by Patrick Lencioni. It was timely because this a great book to look at the heart behind your leadership. Doing that over the New Year was good for me as I think about where I am in life and look forward to 2021 and beyond. 

The second book was Future Church: Seven Laws of Real Church Growth by Will Mancini. This book, every pastor needs to read and wrestle with as we think about what ministry will actually look like in the future and how to reach people best. 

Favorite podcasts:

One of my favorite podcasts is The Learning Leader. Recently, Ryan Hawk released two episodes (How To Create A Generosity Flywheel, Make The Trust Wager, & Earn WHO Luck and The Art Of Getting People To Want To Do What Must Be Done), Jim Collins. There is so much in both of these episodes, especially for pastors.

Favorite blog posts:

Carey Nieuwhof every year posts his church trends. This week he shared 8 trends that churches need to be aware of as we move into 2021. Some highlights to me: #1 is something all communicators and worship leaders have to think about as they prepare each week and lead from the stage, #2 & #5 closely echoes Mancini’s book about what the future of the church will look like, I love the creativity and possibilities of #4, and #6 is one that cannot be overlooked because that will have an enormous impact on what churches do (especially as it relates to who they are trying to reach and connect with).

3 Ideas for 2021 Goals

black and white typewriter on green textile

The calendar has turned and it is finally 2021!

Many of us never thought 2020 would end, but it did.

Now what?

If you’re like me, you are setting out goals and dreams for the new year. Maybe you do a word for the year, make a list of resolutions or goals.

To help with that, let me give you three ideas from Bob Goff’s book Dream Big: Know What You Want, Why You Want It, and What You’re Going to Do About It, to help you:

1. The unwritten rules of our lives. These are things we tell ourselves. I can’t handle money because my family didn’t do that. No one in my family was successful, so I can’t be successful. I’m too old. I’m too young. I don’t have enough school. I have too much school.

One of my unwritten rules that keeps me from dreaming or moving forward is the rule that whatever I do has to be a home run and be noticed. It is a constant battle of ambition that I fight.

If we aren’t aware of our lives’ unwritten rules, we will fall into old patterns or miss potential opportunities ahead of us. Often, we miss goals or set the wrong ones because we aren’t aware of our lives’ unwritten rules.

2. We don’t know what we want to be known for. Many of us don’t know what we want people to say about us at our funeral. Or, we know what we want them to say, but we aren’t willing to do those things. Bob Goff said, “Too many of us would rather succeed pretending to be someone we’re not than fail as ourselves.”

Many of us live the lives that other people want for us or the lives we think we should live because we have a certain number of kids, we are a certain age, etc.

This reminds me of Bronnie Ware’s book The Top 5 Regrets of the Dyingwhere she said the number 1 regret of those on their death bed was: I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. 

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to wait until I’m on my death bed to decide to live the life I’m supposed to live. What a tragedy.

And if 2020 taught us anything, it is that none of us are promised anything.

3. Be brave enough to try something new and be terrible at it. This is where the perfectionists stop in their tracks. Be terrible at it. Many men don’t want to attempt anything unless they are great at it. But one way we restore hope is curiosity, trying new things, learning something new.

Whatever you choose for 2021, be intentional.

As I walk into 2021, I am more and more passionate about not missing moments or opportunities. 2020 has reminded me of how short life and how important every moment is. I’m praying you, and I don’t miss what God has for us in 2021!

My Favorite Books of 2020

It’s that time of year. One of my favorite times of the year, when I share my favorite books of the year. If you want to see all the books I read this year, you can see those here. I also posted my favorite fun books and our favorite shows of the year.

Now, on to the list:

When Narcissism Comes to Church: Healing Your Community From Emotional and Spiritual Abuse by Chuck DeGroat. This is an important book for churches and leaders to wrestle with. There were multiple times where I thought back to leadership situations, meetings I sat through, and things said to me and wondered, “Was Chuck there?” This was a quick read, but one that is hard to digest. Pastors need to wrestle with what it looks like to lead like Jesus in a world that desperately needs Jesus.

Fathered by God: Learning What Your Dad Could Never Teach You by John Eldredge. As a dad to sons and trying to make sense of life stages, this was a helpful read. Eldredge takes us through the stages of a man’s life, when they happen, what a man needs to move through each one. It gave language to things in my past but also my future. It also showed me some important things for my sons. If you are a father of boys, this is an essential book to read. 

Team of Five: The Presidents Club in the Age of Trump by Kate Andersen Bower. This book was a fun read. A few leadership lessons in it, but I learned a ton of things about the Presidents that I didn’t know before, and it felt like a timely read with the election upon us and watching The West Wing with Katie and the Reich 5. 

The Deeply Formed Life: Five Transformative Values to Root Us in the Way of Jesus by Rich Villodas. This might be one of my favorite spiritual formation books I’ve ever read, mostly because of how unique it is. When we think of spiritual formation books, we expect a book to have a chapter on bible reading, prayer, fasting, etc. What Rich does is take us on a different journey. He unpacks Sabbath and includes things like racial reconciliation and sexual wholeness, which puts this book in a different category compared to others. He looks at our whole lives and how they interconnect with others, not just on an individual basis, which is so needed today. 

Building Below the Waterline: Strengthening the Life of a Leader by Gordon MacDonald. I rediscovered Gordon MacDonald this year (you’ll notice he’s the only author on this list twice). I say rediscovered because I read some of his books in college and seminary, but reading his books in your 40’s is different. This is an older book, but it has so much wisdom in it.

Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets: 5 Questions to Help You Determine Your Next Move by Andy Stanley. This is one of the books that got added to my kid’s reading list for high school. I wish I had had this book years ago. The 5 questions Andy takes you through are critical when facing any decision. The two that stood out to me were “paying attention to any tension in you” and “What story do you want to tell when this decision is a story?”

This Too Shall Last: Finding Grace When Suffering Lingers by KJ Ramsey. This is one of the most beautiful books I have ever read. Her words and ideas were so helpful in this season. In fact, I got to have KJ join me for a deeper dive at our church about her book and how it helps us to get through the difficult parts of life. Very rarely am I moved to tears with a book, but this book did that. It spoke to a very deep place in me. 

Tempered Resilience: How Leaders Are Formed in the Crucible of Change by Tod Bolsinger. This was easily the best leadership book I read this year. Not only was this timely for 2020, but one all pastors and leaders should read as we head into 2021. It gives you a framework for what you faced this year and how to survive into the next year, and the road ahead. It also helps make sense of the difficult road that a leader walks and how that road prepares you for what is next. It’s possible I highlighted more of this book than left it unhighlighted. 

A Resilient Life: You Can Move Ahead No Matter What by Gordon MacDonald. A mentor told me that this is a great book to read at the halfway point of life, and he was right. At 41, I am really trying to engage in what helps a leader last and become the older person I want to become. Like the other book by MacDonald on this list, there was so much wisdom packed into this book. I’ve recommended it to everyone I know who is turning 40. 

Gentle and Lowly: The Heart of Christ for Sinners and Sufferers by Dane Ortlund. This book is on a lot of “best of” lists and with good reason. Each page is saturated with gospel goodness. If I had to pick my favorite book of the year, this is it. 

If you’re curious about past years’ list, click on the numbers: 201220132014, 2015, 2016, 2018, and 2019.

Most Read Articles of 2020

I did less writing on my blog in 2020. I don’t know if it was covid, my changing role at my church, or thinking about things more than creating.

Whatever it was, I’m thankful for all of you who have stuck with me and continue to read and share this content. I hope that it helps you to lead and live at a higher level.

Below, you will find the most-read posts of the year:

What Will Ministry in a Post-Covid World Look Like?

I wrote this post in April when we were only a month into quarantine and online church, but the 7 questions in it are incredibly relevant to every pastor and staff as we move into 2021 and what the “new normal” will look like.

7 Keys to Preaching to a Camera

Every pastor spent more time preaching to an empty room than they ever planned to when they started in ministry, but the camera and online church are here to stay. Yes, it won’t always be an empty room, but we can and should grow in this ministry arena. And yes, this is the second post on this list with 7 ideas in it!

How to Be Still in a Crazy World

All of us were forced to sit still more than we expected this past year as we spent more time at home than normal. But while we did, the world got crazier. My fear looking back, is that we missed some chances to be still and be with God. Even in this time of the year, this is a timely post to help you be still wherever you are.

Building a Healthy Staff Culture

For many churches and teams, we learned this year the kind of culture we have in our churches and our staff. This was a good thing, but for many churches, also a hard thing to see. If you fall into the category of not liking what you learned, this might help you rebuild your staff culture in 2021.

When You’ve Been Betrayed in Leadership

If you’ve been in leadership any length of time, you’ve been betrayed. You’ve been hurt. 2020 hurt many leaders as we saw people leave our churches for reasons we never expected. Who saw a spiritual divide coming over masks and online church, but here we are. If you have felt betrayed or hurt in 2020, this post is for you.

Relationships in Quarantine – Kindness

Just like the crisis’s of 2020 revealed things in our churches, they also revealed things in our relationships and marriages worldwide. I joked with our kids that they need to marry someone they could quarantine with for months on end. But in the midst of quarantine and life in covid, kindness is still a crucial piece of relationships and something every relationship needs.

5 Thoughts from Moderating a Conversation on Race

One of the most difficult parts of 2020 is seeing the racial divide in our country continue, bu9t one of my favorites parts of 2020 was being able to speak into that at our church in one of our deeper dives (if you missed it, you could watch it here). In this post, I share 5 things I learned from that night. The deeper dive is one of my favorite things to do at our church, and we had some great ones this year. You can see them here. And stay tuned for some great deeper dives coming up in 2021!

Three Things to do Right Now to Strengthen Your Church

Yes, 2020 has eaten our lunches. Yes, leadership is hard. Yes, church ministry is changing, and we aren’t sure what it will look like in 2021 and beyond. But there are some things you can do to prepare and enter that new season stronger.

One Tweak that Took my Preaching to a New Level

I’ve learned a lot about leadership and preaching in my new role at our church, but this lesson, this tweak, took my preaching to a level it has never been at before.

Relationships in Quarantine – How we Destroy Relationships

Relationships are hard but add quarantine into the mix, and it can be even more difficult. And in this time of the year, we can destroy relationships without even realizing it.

Preaching & the Future of the Church

A lot has been written about the future and the church in this covid world and what church attendance and engagement will look like in the future.

I think a big part of that and where that ends up will be connected to preaching. And for many of us, for the time being (and a lot longer), that will include preaching to a camera, whether in empty or half-filled rooms or with people watching online.

Pastors know this, but preaching is the rudder of the ship, so to speak, when it comes to church. It is the driver in terms of setting the vision and direction for the whole church. It is the place where we have the most connection and engagement with the biggest group of people.

But, in a post-covid world, that looks a little different than it did in 2019.

But how?

I think some important shifts have happened that preachers need to be aware of.

1. Focus matters more than time. Any book or blog on preaching or communication will have something about the length of a sermon. Yes, attention spans are shorter today than decades ago. But people are still listening to 3-4 hour podcasts every week, so there is an argument to be made that you can go long.

That isn’t my goal today.

My goal is to make this point: Focus matters more than time. You can have a great sermon that is focused and go for 45 minutes and have a terrible one all over the place, and it is 12 minutes. Time isn’t the factor. It is a factor, but the most important factor over time is the focus of a message.

Is your sermon simple, clear, focused? Does it grab people’s emotions and their minds? Can they walk out with any tangible steps? Do you have a memorable line?

As sermons begin to live longer and people access them in various ways, the focus will need to rise higher than it has in the past. The reality is people will be watching more in homes and listening in their cars.

2. Marry Sunday with the rest of the week. A lot of debate has happened over the years about how much of a sermon should be applied. That isn’t the point of this article.

The point here is how applicable is what you say to the other 6 days of the week, especially because many people will be watching your sermon and engaging with it on a Tuesday night.

I think a big part of the future of the church will have to do with how we equip people to live on mission in their daily lives. Our sermons and content must help people in their relationships, as parents, and as employees and bosses.

3. Helpful content will rule the day. If you scroll through your timeline on any social media channel, there’s a good chance it looks like mine: Lots of yelling.

But the content that will remain and will be the most viewed, I think, will be the content that is the most helpful.

Here’s why this matters for pastors. When our content is helpful, it causes us to think of the people who view it and the struggles they are having. It helps us to see ourselves as servants instead of rock stars. It also helps to take the spotlight off of our church or us and see how we can be, in the words of Donald Miller, a guide to those who are listening.

4. People are longing for meaning. This is connected to #2 but is really important for the future of preaching.

I believe many people will come out of covid with a renewed desire for their lives to matter and make a difference. If 2020 has taught us anything, it has taught us how short life actually is and how we can’t take any day for granted. As communicators and content creators, we can’t miss out on this because the Bible has a lot to say about meaning and our search for it and where to find meaning that lasts.

5. People are still looking for hope and help. Right now, many people feel hopeless and stuck. If pastors are honest with themselves, many of them do as well.

But this is a great opportunity for churches because we have the hope and help of Jesus.

Each week, each message or video that is created and shared asks: Did I give hope? Did I show where to find help?

I think if we can do that in our messages, people will listen. It will rise above the noise around us. People are more likely to share something that has brought them hope and help. This is why we recommend any book or podcast, or blog to someone.

I think this is also a great grid for us to use when it comes to the messages we preach and the content we create.

My Favorite Novels of 2020 + a Bonus

This felt like the year of books and Netflix. What else were we supposed to do with quarantine?! I didn’t read more than I normally do, but as you’ll see from my list of favorite books this year, I read different books than I normally do. I read more novels, more history, and more books about the inner life and emotional health than leadership and ministry books.

In fact, I normally make my list as one post, but because I read so many novels and history books this year, I felt like they needed their own post. Stay tuned for my list of leadership, ministry, and soul/spiritual growth books.

Here are my favorite “fun” books:

5.The spy & the traitorI knew very little about the cold war, but this story grabbed me, and I could not stop reading this one. Macintyre is a great writer, diving into what happened in the minds of the people.

4. The Order. Daniel Silva is still my favorite novelist, and this book shows why. I love this series, and it just keeps getting better. I’m pretty sure I read this book in two nights!

3. End of Days: The Assassination of John F. KennedyThis was a fascinating real telling of the events surrounding JFK’s death. I love how good people are getting at telling the stories of history.

2. War Lord. The Last Kingdom series has become a favorite of mine over the last couple of years. I was excited about the final book but also nervous about it would end. Because let’s face it, it is hard to end a TV show or book series. I was not disappointed with this one.

1. Devil in the White CityI also read Larson’s book The Splendid and the Vile: A Saga of Churchill, Family, and Defiance During the Blitz as well this year. Both were good, but this one was hard to put down. I know I am late to the party on this one, but wow. 

To see my list of favorite books from past years, click on the numbers: 201220132014, 2015, 2016, 2018, and 2019. I loved looking back through the books I read this year as it helps me see where I’ve grown, what God has taken me, my family, and our church through. If you’re curious about the books I read this year, you can check this out.

And for those of you who read all the way to here, as a bonus, here are my favorite shows that Katie and I watched this year (in no particular order):

  • Queen’s Gambit
  • Ted Lasso
  • Tehran
  • The Crown

7 Things a Church Does

If you were to ask 10 people at your church what the church is supposed to do or why it exists, you would probably get 10 different answers. This confusion leads to frustration for leaders, it causes people to wonder if the church is worth the time and effort, and ultimately, it keeps the church from being all she could be.

Yet, in places like Matthew 28:18 – 20 and Acts 1:8, we have been given a picture of how the church functions and what it should do.

There is an incredible passage in Acts 2 that I preached on recently that lays out what the church did after Jesus returned to heaven, and the Holy Spirit came upon them.

So those who received his word were baptized, and there were added that day about three thousand souls. And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved. -Acts 2:41 – 47

Imagine, in one day, the church exploded. God’s kingdom broke into the city of Jerusalem powerfully.

But what does this tell us about our churches for today?

1. Expect something to happen. On the first day the church launched, 3,000 people were saved and baptized. There was an expectation that when Jesus gave his mission to the disciples (Acts 1:8) and said the Holy Spirit would come to help them accomplish it, they expected that to be true and to happen.

They expected that when they showed up, that God would show up. That when they prayed, God would answer. That when they followed after God, they would partner with God in what He is doing.

Too often, when we open our bible, go to our small group, or show up at church, we have no expectation of God meeting us, speaking to us, or saving anyone.

What if that changed? What if we expected and looked for God to move?

2. They were devoted to teaching. The word devoted means constant, given over to or a large part of what someone does. The church in Acts devoted themselves to what the apostles taught them; the apostles were those who saw the risen Jesus, many who had walked with him, and heard his teachings on the kingdom of God. 

For us today, this means that we need to devote ourselves to what the Bible says. Not what we’d like it to say, but what it says. We need to allow it to shape who we are and who we are becoming.

3. Eat together. Our culture does not slow, sit down, and enjoy a long meal with friends and family. We don’t often open up our homes to each other to be hospitable and welcoming, yet this is one of the early church’s defining characteristics. Jesus spent so much time in the gospels eating and partying with people that it is astounding more Christians don’t associate that with the mission of Jesus. Yet this is one of the simple ways community is built, and a church is seen.

This church was devoted to each other, spent time together in the temple and homes, worshiping and eating together and praying together.

4. They prayed together, and awe came over them. There was a sense of wonder in this church. This idea of “I can’t believe I get to be a part of this and see what God is doing.” What if that was the sense we had when we were part of a church? Being blown away by the move of God.

There were miracles, which can be anything from a changed life, marriages being saved, people not believing lies and battling the idols of their heart, or moving deeper into the community instead of living in isolation.

5. They had all things in common. A common belief in the mission is pulling the rope in the same direction, not being divisive. Making sure everyone in your community has what they need. While some have more than others, those who have more are generous, so those with fewer needs are met.

6. They met regularly. They did life together. This is not a one time a week event; this is a daily exercise of being in each other’s lives. Eating together, playing, working at the same place, having play dates, going on vacation, watching football, sitting around campfires. Sharing life. This is the longing of all people, to stop being in isolation and be known, and this church did this, day by day, the text says.

7. They had favor with all people. Reading this last verse is kind of astounding in our culture. What’s interesting is that the first century was just as hostile to the message of Jesus as our culture (just read Romans and 1 Corinthians). In their love for each other, their city, their welcoming of strangers (yet still submitting to the teaching of the Scripture and the apostles teaching), they had favor with people. This is how we know the church has gotten off track in our world. People outside the church should look at the church and think, “I may disagree with them, but I like them. They are kind, generous, loving. They are good neighbors, co-workers, and bosses. They are hospitable, opening their homes to people, not bashing people on social media.” Instead, Christians are seen as hateful, mean, arrogant, and spiteful.

They were part of the gathered church, hearing the word of God preached, worshiping through song and prayer, and then scattering to live out that preached message in daily life.

The result? God added to their number daily.

This is the goal and prayer of the church.

Imagine, every day, a new person began a relationship with Jesus! I’d love to see 365 people a year begin a relationship because of coming into contact with every church, including mine.

I believe this can and will happen when we are the church each day.

Relaunching Your Church

church

As churches across America (and the world) begin to regather and move towards a hybrid model, pastors & teams try to figure out what that looks like. The difficulty for churches is that this crisis sped up the trends that were already unfolding in faith and church culture.

In many ways, this reminds me a lot of what it was like to plant a church. You don’t know how many people will come back, who will come back, or even what it will look like when they show up. The nervousness a church planter feels as he leads his team to set up and tear down, pass out invite cards, and spread the word, describes a lot of what pastors are feeling right now. What makes this even more complicated, though, is how weary pastors are right now.

Before we get to the ideas and questions, pastors, please care for your soul. Take the time to refill your own heart so that you can lead with your whole self. Take some time to mourn the losses that you have experienced personally and as a leader in this season. Don’t just rush into things, but make sure you take time to breathe.

So, as you regather and move into a new normal, here are some ideas and questions to be asking:

1. Who are we trying to reach? This is church 101, but it is easy to forget. Many churches say they are trying to reach everyone, which is true, but we reach a particular person along the way. Some churches proclaim loudly who they are trying to reach, and others are more subtle about it. That is a leadership perspective, but the point is, your team needs to know who you are best suited to reach as a church.

This becomes even more important as church changes into this hybrid world of digital and physical, and resources are stretched, and staff roles are reallocated.

Here are a few reasons this matters:

  • As you communicate as a church through email, stories, social media, video content, etc. Your target determines what is in those communication pieces. If it is young families, you will highlight kids and student content. If it is empty-nesters, that will change.
  • Your target can also determine which platforms you spend more time on and focus on. Different age groups use different platforms for content and connecting.
  • It will determine your teaching calendar and video content and how you deliver that content.
  • Your target, their political leanings, and worldview (what matters to them in covid and a post-covid world) could have an impact on when you reopen and what that looks like.

2. Clarify your engagement and formation pathways. This idea came from the book Intentional Churches: How Implementing an Operating System Clarifies Vision, Improves Decision-Making, and Stimulates Growth; in it, the authors make the point that a church’s engagement pathway is different from its formation or discipleship pathway.

Yes, these pathways are deeply connected, but in this new world, we must clarify these.

Think for a moment; what do you do as a church that engages people? Where people engage with your church? You can list those things out. While some of those things form people, many of them are simply about engaging with them. That’s okay. Clarify that as a team.

In many churches, we have taken all of these paths and made them one thing. In a digital or hybrid world, I think it has revealed for some churches that it either doesn’t work or is very confusing.

3. How do you truly form people? Spiritual formation & discipleship have always been important, but it is becoming more important in this new world. As one pastor recently pointed out, one of the big shifts in the future is from attendance and buildings to engagement and formation.  One thing that covid has shown us is that many churches have not formed their people well.

To form your people, you must clarify what a follower of Jesus is being formed in the way of Jesus looks like and then move towards that. Rich Villodas’s new book The Deeply Formed Life: Five Transformative Values to Root Us in the Way of Jesus is a great picture of what that might look like for churches moving forward. 

4. What things do you need to start or stop doing? This is a transition point in our world and a great opportunity to ask, based on where we are and where we are headed, to ask what you need to start doing or stop doing.

Everything you did as a church pre-covid doesn’t need to continue. A disruption like we have experienced is a great opportunity to ask what is next, what is working, what is not working, what is not clear for your church, and then move forward.

In the end, this moment is a great opportunity to dream as a leader, to ask God what is next, and to forge a new or renewed path as a church.