My Favorite Books of the Year

Photo by Tom Hermans on Unsplash

It’s that time of year when I review what I’ve read and list out my favorite books of the year! 

Over the last few years, I’ve read fewer non-fiction books and more history or novels. It doesn’t need to be published this year to make my favorite list, just one I read during the year. 

Below is a photo of my favorite books of the year, with my favorite one on top. To see everything I read this year, go here.

If you’re curious about past years’ lists, click on the numbers: 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021 and 2022.

First, the fun books!

I read way more novels, biographies, and historical books this year.

Here are my 5 favorite novels or history books of the year:

  1. The River We Remember
  2. Horse
  3. The Age of Vice
  4. Becoming FDR
  5. Red Notice

Here are my favorite books of the year. They aren’t in any order, as it was hard to nail down a favorite, but if I had to, I would say my top 3 were: Thriving through Ministry Conflict: A Parable on How Resistance Can Be Your Ally, Sage: A Man’s Guide Into His Second Passage and The Good Life: Lessons from the World’s Longest Scientific Study of Happiness. 

The Air We Breathe: How We All Came to Believe in Freedom, Kindness, Progress, and Equality. I wish everyone had read this book. It gave words to what I’ve seen in our culture but haven’t been able to articulate. 

Resilient Ministry: What Pastors Told Us About Surviving and Thriving. This was a book that a group of pastors I met with read, and it was eye-opening. It was also comforting to know that some of my feelings are normal.

The Weary Leader’s Guide to Burnout: A Journey from Exhaustion to Wholeness. Read this book if you’re weary, tired, or burned out. This past year, I found myself feeling run down and tired, not burned out, thankfully, and this book was a godsend when I read it. 

Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue. Friedman takes the stance that to lead well in a church; you must understand the family systems of that church.  If you are leading a church in transition like I am, this book is invaluable to understand how your church functions, what the family of origin story of your church is, and how that is still impacting your church (even if all those people are gone). 

The Imperfect Pastor: Discovering Joy in Our Limitations through a Daily Apprenticeship with Jesus. Every year, I re-read a book; this year, this is the one. I read it years ago, but now that I’m older and in a different spot in ministry, it was incredibly helpful to go back through it. There are tons of insights for pastors on how to move at the pace of God.

Generations: The Real Differences Between Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X, Boomers, and Silents―and What They Mean for America’s Future. This is a book that all pastors and parents need to read. It gave me insight into my kids and their friends, my life, and my generation. This is the first time there are 5 generations in churches and the workforce, and it is important to understand their needs and desires and how they view the world.

The Good Life: Lessons from the World’s Longest Scientific Study of Happiness. This book was so insightful on what makes people happy. they have followed a group of people for over 80 years, including their kids, to see what we can learn from people’s lives. This book caused me to rethink some things in my relational world.

Thriving through Ministry Conflict: A Parable on How Resistance Can Be Your Ally. This was the first book I read for my doctoral program, and it blew me away. It is written as a fable and follows a new pastor at his church and his experiences. It so closely mirrored my experience of moving to New England; it was eerie. 

Sage: A Man’s Guide Into His Second Passage. You need to read this book if you are a man close to 40 or over 40. It helps explain what you feel physically, emotionally, spiritually, and relationally. There were a lot of aha moments for me and things to think through so that my second half is all that it can be. 

The Flourishing Pastor: Recovering the Lost Art of Shepherd Leadership. You’re probably picking up a theme in the books I read and loved this year. As I get older and watch more and more pastors quit, fail, or burn out, I’m seeing how hard it is to make it to the end and finish well, and I desire not to be a statistic.

10 Lessons from “Build”

Photo by ian dooley on Unsplash

Recently I read Build: An Unorthodox Guide to Making Things Worth Making by Tony Fadell. It’s part memoir, part leadership & organizational book. One that is worth picking up if you are a leader or a pastor. Many lessons are wrapped up in the story of his life and leadership. 

Here are a few that stood out to me:

The best way to find a job you’ll love and a career that will eventually make you successful is to follow what you’re naturally interested in, then take risks when choosing where to work. He spends a lot of time talking about how to get started in life and your career. He said all the stuff they don’t and can’t teach you in college – how to thrive in the workplace, create something unique, deal with managers, and eventually become one – it all slaps you in the face the second you step off campus. No matter how much you learn in school, you still need to get the equivalent of a Ph.D. in navigating the rest of the world and building something meaningful. You have to try and fail and learn by doing. He goes on. So when looking at the array of potential careers before you, the correct place to start is this: “What do I want to learn?”

When you’re in your thirties and forties, the window begins to close for most people. Your decisions can no longer be entirely your own. That’s okay, too – great even – but it’s different. The people who depend on you will shape and influence your choices. We know this as we age, but we take extra chances when we’re younger.

The way I made decisions in my 20s isn’t how I make decisions in my 40s because my life is different. I’m going after other goals, and different things matter to me. In my 20’s, I focused more on building my platform and career. In my 40’s, I’m more focused on my kids and the people they are becoming.

It is crucial as we age to evaluate how we make decisions, what drives us, and what our willingness to take risks is.

Customers need to see that your product solves a real problem they have today – not one they may have in some distant future. Pastors need to think about this more when they preach. What is the tension your sermon speaks to? This doesn’t mean that should drive your sermon, but can you articulate what problem your sermon will solve? Do you tell people what it will solve?

Meetings should be structured to get you and the team as much clarity as possible. We’ve all sat in meetings that accomplished very little, that wasted time, or left us confused. The whole section on meetings was an excellent reminder for me. Does everyone leave a meeting with as much clarity as possible? Asking, “Are we clear on everything, and who will do what?”

A great deal of management comes down to managing your fears and anxieties. The longer I lead, the more I see how my past affects me. Now, your past can be a great teacher to make sure that you choose the right path in the future. But, if you don’t deal with your past, it will have a way of rearing its head in your present and potentially harm your future.

Many pastors and leaders make decisions based on their fear and anxieties without realizing it.

You must consistently check to see if you are acting out or making decisions out of your fears and anxieties. How much are they playing a role in your daily life?

You must pause and clearly articulate the “why” before convincing anyone to care about the “what.” Years ago, one of my jobs when I joined a team, was to find out the “why” behind what the church did. I spent months meeting with leaders, teams, and departments, asking, “why do you do what you do? Why did this ministry start? Why do we keep doing it?” Do you know what I found? Most people at that church could not articulate why they did what they did; they couldn’t articulate why they started something, only “what” they did.

What matters, it matters a lot. But, as Simon Sinek pointed out years ago, the why will always win the day, and you need to start there.

Many churches, teams, and companies can tell you what they do, but that isn’t as important as why you do something. Leaders must be clear and ensure their teams understand why they do something.

You cannot be afraid to disrupt the thing that made you successful in the first place. This is a hard lesson for leaders, no matter who they are. Especially if you created the thing that makes you successful, leaders must consistently ensure that what “got them there” doesn’t hold them back from what is next. This is why continuing to return to “why” you do something is so important.

If you have fifty people who understand your culture and add a hundred who don’t, you will lose that culture. It’s just math. The longer I lead anything, the more critical I see the culture of a church. The culture of the church decides what gets done and what is essential. Culture is how things happen. You can have the greatest strategy or ministry idea, but it will only be effective if your culture doesn’t fight against that.

The CEO sets the tone for the company – every team looks to the CEO and the exec team to see what’s most critical and what they need to pay attention to. This took me too long to learn. I used to think that if I said the right things, people would know what to do, but I’ve learned that my actions tell people what matters. Does starting on time matter? What things do I check and double-check? What stats do I check? Those things tell my team and our church what matters most.

Then as you lead, “Your team amplifies your mood.” Your team takes what you think is essential and passes it on. If you want to change your church, you must decide what is critical and start paying attention to that and amplifying that. 

My Favorite Books of 2022

Photo by Tom Hermans on Unsplash

It’s that time of year. When I look back over what I’ve read and list out my favorite books of the year! 

Admittedly, I read fewer non-fiction books this past year. Part of that was the energy our move across the country took and settling into life here. I’m also finding that I need to give my brain a break and enjoy more fiction and historical books.

Below is a photo of my favorite books of the year, with my favorite one on top. To see everything I read this year, go here.

If you’re curious about past years’ lists, click on the numbers: 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2018, 2019, 2020, and 2021.

First, the fun books!

Here are my 6 favorite novels of the year:

  1. The Son
  2. Ordinary grace
  3. City on fire
  4. Violin conspiracy
  5. Manhunt: The 12-Day Chase for Lincoln’s Killer and Grace: President Obama and Ten Days in the Battle for America

Here are my favorite books of the year:

10. The Power of Place: Choosing Stability in a Rootless Age. I didn’t read this before we moved, but it said many things we have thought about over the years about the power and importance of place in our lives. I put a big emphasis on place, and this book was helpful to have a theology on it. Suppose you are trying to find your place in this world, where you should live, etc. This is a helpful book on that. 

9. Invitation to a Journey: A Road Map for Spiritual Formation. I have had this book on my shelf for a long time and finally got around to reading it. Wow. The section on spiritual formation and personality was fascinating. It helped name some things in my life that I needed to be aware of and some deficiencies I can easily fall into as a pastor. 

8. How Minds Change: The Surprising Science of Belief, Opinion, and Persuasion. Everyone who preaches and communicates should read this book. Most sermons go after the wrong argument, and this book was eye-opening to what changes people’s minds from a scientific perspective.

7. Letters to a Young Pastor: Timothy Conversations between Father and Son. This book was so rich and soul-stirring. Eugene Peterson wrote letters to his son as his son started in ministry. This is a book I’ll come back to in the coming years.

6. A Non-Anxious Presence: How a Changing and Complex World will Create a Remnant of Renewed Christian Leaders. If there is one book pastors need to read as we move into a post-pandemic, divisive world, this is it. It names what we have felt and experienced and a way forward. 

5. The 6 Types of Working Genius: A Better Way to Understand Your Gifts, Your Frustrations, and Your Team. I love personality tests and explaining why we do what we do in work, life and relationships. This book was something we took our staff and elders through and has been incredibly helpful in understanding our wiring as a team. 

4. Attached to God: A Practical Guide to Deeper Spiritual Experience. While I disagree with the author on some theological areas, this book was beneficial for me to understand my relationship with God and how I process that based on what I’ve experienced in life and relationships. 

3. The Coddling of the American Mind: How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas Are Setting Up a Generation for Failure. I have recommended this book to every parent of teenagers since I read it—a must-read for parents. 

2. Leadership on the Line: Staying Alive Through the Dangers of Change. This is a bit of cheating since I’ve read this book three times, but it is still relevant and spot-on. If you are leading change of any kind, this book has to be at the top of your list. This book has saved me many times as I’ve led change processes over the years. 

1. From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life. I’m starting to read and think more about the second half of life as I get older, and this book answered many questions and helped me think through a roadmap for my future steps. If you’re over 40, you should read this book. 

My Favorite Books of 2021

Every year, I like to look back on what I read and list out my favorite books.

Admittedly, I read fewer non-fiction books this past year. Part of that was the move across the country, and part of that was a desire to give my brain a break and enjoy more fiction and historical books.

Below is a photo of my favorite books of the year, with my favorite one on top. To see everything I read this year, go here.

If you’re curious about past years’ lists, click on the numbers: 201220132014, 201520162018, 2019, and 2020.

And yes, my wife took this photo and combined three of my favorite things in it: our backyard, one of my green eggs, and books!

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Here are my favorite books from 2021 (#1 is on the far right and #10 is on the far left):

No Rules Rules: Netflix and the Culture of Reinvention. This is one of the best leadership books I have ever read. It is all about culture and how to build one. For churches coming out of covid, this is a must for pastors. As I started a new job this past year, I realized that my two main priorities are creating and clarifying culture and building the staff, elder, and volunteer teams. This book had so many nuggets and pushed me in many areas as a leader.

Every Pastor’s First 180 Days: How to Start and Stay Strong in a New Church Job. In the summer, I started a new job and moved my family across the country. I read many books about transitions, but this was the best and helped me create a 6-12 month plan for starting my new job, what I would focus on, preach on, etc. This is a must-read for you if you are starting a new ministry role. 

Lessons in Leadership: A Weekly Reading of the Jewish Bible. After I read my bible, I would read a chapter in this book for the last year. I’ve been doing it for years where I read a sermon or some devotional, which was fascinating and stirring. It looked at the first five books of the bible through the lens of leadership. I loved it and learned a ton about those books of the bible and the people in them.

A Burning in My Bones: The Authorized Biography of Eugene H. Peterson, Translator of The Message. This was just so good. I loved the memoir The Pastorso this covered some of the same ground but then expanded on it. I loved how real and raw it was; it didn’t sugarcoat his life but honored what he did and accomplished and how he did it.

Canoeing the Mountains: Christian Leadership in Uncharted Territory. I love Tod Bolsinger’s stuff, and this was one I read years ago but pulled back out as I moved across the country and was thinking about leading a church through covid. There are tons of ideas here that are helpful for leaders in a covid world.

Searching for Grace: A Weary Leader, a Wise Mentor, and Seven Healing Conversations for a Parched Soul. This summer, I found myself tired. After leading a church through a merge in Arizona, living through covid, the interview processes at countless churches, and then moving, I was exhausted. This book was one I read a little bit of each day after we moved, and God used it to speak to my soul in some profound ways.

Future Church: Seven Laws of Real Church GrowthThis is one of those books that I think pastors will be talking about in 20 years. It’s shaping what we are thinking about at our church and what the future might look like.

The Making of Biblical Womanhood: How the Subjugation of Women Became Gospel Truth. As someone who led an Acts 29 church and held to a complementarian belief for a long time, this was a fascinating book to read. I learned so many things in it that I had never heard before and was honestly disheartened to read as it relates to church history, bible translations, etc. I’ve recommended this book to countless friends since I read it. It is one that pastors should read and wrestle with. 

At Your Best: How to Get Time, Energy, and Priorities Working in Your Favor. I am always looking to get better and be more productive, and this book was so helpful. The biggest takeaway was how many productive hours I have in a day and how to best use them. 

Emotionally Healthy Discipleship: Moving from Shallow Christianity to Deep Transformation. I’ve waited for years for this book to come out and was not disappointed. Between this and Future Chruch, it is definitely where I am headed as a leader and where our church is going related to discipleship. 

My Favorite Novels of 2020 + a Bonus

This felt like the year of books and Netflix. What else were we supposed to do with quarantine?! I didn’t read more than I normally do, but as you’ll see from my list of favorite books this year, I read different books than I normally do. I read more novels, more history, and more books about the inner life and emotional health than leadership and ministry books.

In fact, I normally make my list as one post, but because I read so many novels and history books this year, I felt like they needed their own post. Stay tuned for my list of leadership, ministry, and soul/spiritual growth books.

Here are my favorite “fun” books:

5.The spy & the traitorI knew very little about the cold war, but this story grabbed me, and I could not stop reading this one. Macintyre is a great writer, diving into what happened in the minds of the people.

4. The Order. Daniel Silva is still my favorite novelist, and this book shows why. I love this series, and it just keeps getting better. I’m pretty sure I read this book in two nights!

3. End of Days: The Assassination of John F. KennedyThis was a fascinating real telling of the events surrounding JFK’s death. I love how good people are getting at telling the stories of history.

2. War Lord. The Last Kingdom series has become a favorite of mine over the last couple of years. I was excited about the final book but also nervous about it would end. Because let’s face it, it is hard to end a TV show or book series. I was not disappointed with this one.

1. Devil in the White CityI also read Larson’s book The Splendid and the Vile: A Saga of Churchill, Family, and Defiance During the Blitz as well this year. Both were good, but this one was hard to put down. I know I am late to the party on this one, but wow. 

To see my list of favorite books from past years, click on the numbers: 201220132014, 2015, 2016, 2018, and 2019. I loved looking back through the books I read this year as it helps me see where I’ve grown, what God has taken me, my family, and our church through. If you’re curious about the books I read this year, you can check this out.

And for those of you who read all the way to here, as a bonus, here are my favorite shows that Katie and I watched this year (in no particular order):

  • Queen’s Gambit
  • Ted Lasso
  • Tehran
  • The Crown

The Heart of Christ for You and Me

One of my favorite books I read this year was Gentle and Lowly: The Heart of Christ for Sinners and Sufferers by Dane Ortlund. The whole book oozes with gospel goodness. I read it during a tough season (hello 2020!) and found myself so encouraged by it and drawn to a deeper view of who God is and his heart for me. 

If you haven’t already, you should read the book.

If you’re still on the fence or need some encouragement today, here are my 16 favorite quotes from the book:

  1. The posture most natural to Jesus is not a pointed finger but open arms.
  2. Matthew 11:28 tells us explicitly who qualifies for fellowship with Jesus: “all who labor and are heavy laden.” You don’t need to unburden or collect yourself and then come to Jesus. Your very burden is what qualifies you to come.
  3. If we are asked to say only one thing about who Jesus is, we would be honoring Jesus’s own teaching if our answer is gentle and lowly.
  4. What elicits tenderness from Jesus is not the severity of the sin but whether the sinner comes to him.
  5. In the biblical gospel, we are not given a thing; we are given a person.
  6. When we sin, the very heart of Christ is drawn out to us.
  7. Seeing God’s greatness is not our deepest need, but seeing his goodness.
  8. When we come to Christ, we are startled by the beauty of his welcoming heart. The surprise is itself what draws us in.
  9. In Jesus Christ, we are given a friend who will always enjoy rather than refuse our presence.
  10. The Spirit causes us actually to feel Christ’s heart for us.
  11. The label “Father of mercies” is the Bible’s way of taking us into the deepest recesses of who God the Father is.
  12. We tend to project our natural expectations about who God is onto him instead of fighting to let the Bible surprise us into what God himself says.
  13. Repent of your small thoughts of God’s heart. Repent and let him love you.
  14. God is not poor in mercy. He is rich in mercy.
  15. Nowhere else in the Bible is God described as rich in anything. The only thing he is called rich in is mercy. What does this mean? It means that God is something other than what we naturally believe him to be. It means the Christian life is a lifelong shedding of tepid thoughts of the goodness of God.
  16. There are two ways to live the Christian life. You can live it either for the heart of Christ or from the heart of Christ. You can live for the smile of God or from it.

8 Ways to Read the Best books

I love books. This isn’t a secret if you’ve been around my blog for a long time or follow me on Instagram.

And now is a great time to be reading and finding great books (and to broaden your reading).

So, here are eight ways to know if you are limiting your reading and what to change to find the best books:

Every book you read is from your theological camp. There are a lot of crazy religious ideas out there, so you need to be wise about what you read. But the reality is though, you don’t know everything, and you certainly don’t have the bible and every theological idea all figured out. I don’t either. It is good to read authors who believe differently than you so that you can be challenged. Now a short note, if you are new in your faith, this isn’t a good idea as you don’t have the foundation to question yet. If that’s you, ask your pastor or a respected Christian for some book recommendations.

Every book you read has bible verses in them. You should read some books by authors and leaders who don’t follow Jesus. As a pastor, one of the reasons is to learn how to communicate with people around you. To learn something, you may not know but also to see what people who walk through the doors of your church believe. This also helps when you have conversations with people who don’t follow Jesus so that you can relate to things they are thinking about and books they are reading.

Every book you read confirms what you already believe. This is similar to the first one, but if you put a book down and have not learned something new, you wasted your time.

You finish every book you start. I get asked a lot why I don’t write negative book reviews on Instagram. People will often say, “all you ever say is how great a book was or how much you loved a book.” The reason? If I don’t like a book by p. 40, I put it down. Life is too short to read a book you don’t like or isn’t teaching you anything. If it’s poorly written or boring or not challenging, it’s off the list. Don’t feel the need to finish every book you start or to read every chapter of a book; they may not all be relevant.

Books don’t challenge your heart. Similar to point 3, but you should be challenged or convicted from a book. You should find ways to improve your preaching, leadership skills, or your faith, being a spouse or parent. If not, put it down. If a book does not put the magnifying glass up to your heart and life, it isn’t worth the time.

You never read a novel. I love novels. I love stories about spies or lawyers in particular and have recently started to read more and more historical books. As you can see, I always have a historical book on the reading list.

Every book you read is for a sermon. This doesn’t apply to everyone. But if you’re a pastor, this is easy to do because you have to write a sermon each week and are always creating content for social media or classes. You should read books that have no application in a sermon. It also sometimes happens that you are reading a book that you discover something that will work in a sermon, that’s great too. If you are doing a series on marriage, you should be reading a book on money or grace just to keep growing in other areas.

Every book you read is by a pastor. You should read books by CEOs, bankers, doctors, trainers, money managers, scientists, not just pastors or speakers.

My Favorite Books of 2019

Each year I post a list of my favorite books, the ones I would call the best books of the year.

The Second Mountain: The Quest for a Moral Life by David Brooks. I read this book over the summer, and it was so helpful. Turning 40 this year raised a lot of fo questions for me, but this book was incredibly useful in answering them and focusing me on the second half of life and what it looks like and what it can be.

Questions Are the Answer: A Breakthrough Approach to Your Most Vexing Problems at Work and in Life by Hal Gregerson. As an enneagram 8, asking great questions is hard for me to do. I tend to have lots of opinions, settle on those, and then move on. This book takes a look at how to dig deeper into things so that you don’t miss the best ideas. It got a little long but had some fascinating research and stories behind it that I found helpful. 

Gridiron Genius: A Master Class in Building Teams and Winning at the Highest Level by Michael Lombardi. I love football and leadership, and since this book was about both, I loved it. The chapter on how to find a coach is so applicable to hiring and team building that I was blown away by it. A fun read, with tons of great stories and leadership nuggets in it. 

Managing Leadership Anxiety: Yours and Theirs by Steve Cuss. I wish I could’ve read this book years ago. It would’ve saved me a ton of pain and heartache as a leader. When dealing with other people, you have to manage your story and anxiety, along with theirs. In a church or team setting, you are dealing with family systems that you are often unaware of. This book took a look at how to understand those, how to understand what is going on in your body in a situation, and what is happening in an interaction. 

Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones by James Clear. If there was a book on this list that I would put at number 1 or say it is a must-read book, it’s this one. It is on the booklist my kids have to read before graduating high school, it is that good. I love the focus on “becoming the kind of person who hits the goals you have.” Too often, we don’t have that focus, and so we set goals without asking, “What kind of person do I need to become? What kind of person loses weight? What practices do they have, and how do I become that person?”

Stillness Is the Key by Ryan Holiday. I love all of Holiday’s books, but this one might be my favorite. The book is broken up into how to find stillness in your mind, body, and soul. For me, the body section was incredibly helpful. 

Can’t Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds by David Goggins. This book is not for the lighthearted (and if you’re offended by a lot of cussing, this book isn’t for you), but what a story. Part leadership book, part memoir, Goggins story is captivating. All the things he does, the hurt he endures, the lengths that he goes to make himself feel whole are incredible to hear and heartbreaking to imagine. 

This year I also discovered The Last Kingdom series, which is a fictitious look at the founding of England. So good. I haven’t gotten into the TV show yet, but the books are some of my favorites.

I also discovered a new historical writer Hampton Sides. This year I read his books Hellhound on His Trail: The Electrifying Account of the Largest Manhunt in American History, In the Kingdom of Ice: The Grand and Terrible Polar Voyage of the USS Jeannette and I just started On Desperate Ground: The Epic Story of Chosin Reservoir–the Greatest Battle of the Korean War. I’d recommend any of those books and his others!

To see my list of favorite books from past years, click on the numbers: 201220132014, 2015  2016, and 2018. I loved looking back through the books I read this year as it helps me to see where I’ve grown, what God has taken me, my family, and our church through. If you’re curious about the books I read this year, you can check this out.

19 Powerful Quotes from It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way: Finding Unexpected Strength When Disappointments Leave You Shattered

Recently, I read It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way: Finding Unexpected Strength When Disappointments Leave You Shattered and loved it. It is such a powerful book, especially if you are struggling with disappointment, resentment or regrets in life. 

I’ve since recommended this book to countless people, men, and women.

Here are 19 quotes that stood out to me and were powerful:

  • This is how the formula should calculate: hard time plus healing time plus staying faithful to God should equal the exact good outcome we were counting on.
  • We cannot control our outcomes. We cannot formulate how the promises of God will take shape. We will never be able to demand any of the healing from all the hurt to hurry up.
  • Sometimes to get your life back, you have to face the death of what you thought your life would look like.
  • Disappointment. It’s that feeling things should be better than they are. People should be better than they are. Circumstances should be better than they are. Finances should be better than they are. Relationships should be better than they are.
  • If the enemy can isolate us, he can influence us.
  • To deny my feelings any voice is to rob me of being human. But to let my feelings be the only voice will rob my soul of healing perspectives with which God wants to comfort me and carry me forward. My feelings and my faith will almost certainly come into conflict with each other.
  • Disappointment isn’t proof that God is withholding good things from us. Sometimes It’s His way of leading us Home.
  • If I want His promises, I have to trust His process.
  • Feeling the pain is the first step toward healing the pain. The longer we avoid the feeling, the more we delay our healing. We can numb it, ignore it, or pretend it doesn’t exist, but all those options lead to an eventual breakdown, not a breakthrough.
  • The longer we avoid the feeling, the more delay our healing.
  • God longs to help us.
  • Obedience is the daily practice of trusting God.
  • God doesn’t want you or me to suffer. But He will allow it in doses to increase our trust. Our pain and suffering aren’t to hurt us. It’s to save us. To save us from a life where we are self-reliant, self-satisfied, self-absorbed, and set up for the greatest pain of all … separation from God.
  • The enemy uses disappointments to cause so much trouble in an unsettled heart.
  • If we are going to be true to ourselves, we’d better make sure we are true to our most surrendered, healed, and healthy selves, the ones God made us to be.
  • Fear seems to be a close cousin of disappointment. They are related, because we feel them so deeply, they paralyze us so easily, and the pat answers so many Christians try to place on them trip us up. We are desperate to make things easier than they are.
  • If we have a misunderstanding of God, we will most certainly have a wrong understanding of our circumstances.
  • To be human is to be vulnerable. It demands trust in God that’s no joke. Trusting God is the hardest lesson to learn but the most crucial.
  •  Being hurt isn’t the worst thing in the world. It’s the very thing that makes us closer to Jesus and closer to our fellow humans. In a world of differences, we are so very united when we simply cry together.

What Churches and Pastors can Learn from Gridiron Genius

Recently I read Gridiron Genius: A Master Class in Winning Championships and Building Dynasties in the NFL and it is fascinating. I love anything to do with leadership and football, so this book was highly enjoyable and had so many leadership and business nuggets that I had to share my top 7. 

1. The ingredients of any successful business. According to Lombardi, “any successful business (church or team) will have a sound culture, a realistic plan, strong leadership, and a talented workforce.” Think for a moment about your church, business or team. Do you have these things? Are working towards them?

Without one of them, you will find yourself not reaching your full potential, and you will be frustrated and frustrate those on the team. Quickly, discouragement will set in, and it will be hard to move forward.

2. Vision, philosophy, and strategy first. Most pastors and churches planters get this wrong, and it brings a lot of harm and frustration. Start with your vision and strategy and then build your team. Too many churches have hired people that don’t fit their vision and strategy, and it is disastrous.

And pastors don’t miss this; people don’t usually leave your church because of doctrine, they often leave your church because of strategy.

This is why it is so important to have clear values as a church, a clear strategy that you talk about often and evaluate people on that before adding them to your team and giving them leadership roles.

3. Functioning as a team is more important than stars. Bill Belichick said, “It’s not the strength of the individual players; it’s the strength of how they function together.” Go to any church planting or pastors conference, and you hear pastors talking about looking for stars. When a church looks to hire any staff member, especially a lead pastor, their job description starts with “we’re looking for Jesus.”

But you aren’t going to hire Jesus, and you may not need a star. The strongest teams I’ve been on haven’t always been made up of the best people at their role but people who worked together incredibly well and made up for what the other person lacked.

4. Making a decision requires firmness, fairness, and fast. These are the 3 F’s of decision making from legendary coach Bill Walsh. If you’ve been in church any length of time, you know that firmness, fairness and fast are not what churches and pastors are known for when it comes to making a decision.

Yes, you want to make wise decisions and take the time you need, but often, churches could cut in half the time it takes and make a sound decision.

Most leaders suffer from cost sunk bias or fear of missing out on something and so we miss opportunities. Meaning, don’t necessarily think about what you’ve spent so far on a decision as that will cloud your thinking the right choice. Will you miss out on something? Probably but that’s okay.

5. Never squander an opportunity. Churches are not often thinking about possibilities. They are thinking about reacting to things. Do you spend time looking ahead? Do you know when the big days are of your church’s and community’s calendar year? Do you know when people are likely to be sick, on vacation, etc.? When you think about your preaching calendar, do you think about when the best time of a year to start a series is? For example, people think about specific topics in January, February, at the start of school, at the holidays, etc. Do you know what they are? Are you crafting a preaching calendar and events around those things?

If you aren’t, you’re squandering an opportunity.

6. Mimicking success rarely earns success. I’m guilty of this. So is every other pastor and church.

We go to a conference, hear about a successful ministry, how one pastor does small groups, preaching, worship services, kids ministry and come back and copy it and wonder, “why didn’t that work?”

Because we overlooked a whole host of things, that was someone else’s dream or vision. It fit their personality, context, and timing.

For example, I love so much about what missional communities do in churches and for a while we copied it and tried to make it work, but it didn’t fit me and the context of our city.

The last part is the timing of the church. This gets overlooked all the time in church circles.

Timing matters a great deal when it comes to churches growing. Many church plants survive and die based on timing, timing that has nothing to do with them.

7. The value of special teamers. This one is super important for a lead pastor to remember.

Special teamers on an NFL team are guys who are just trying to make the team. They aren’t starters but will do anything to make the team. They will run down punts and kicks, which is the most dangerous play in the football.

These are the people in yoru church who will do anything for your church. They are dedicated, serve, invite, pray and give, but they aren’t necessarily leading anything. Your church cannot survive without them.