Category Archives: Healthy Faith

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4 Questions To Ask About God’s Will

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Photo by Patrick Fore on Unsplash

Recently, I preached on James 4:13 – 17 and the power of numbering our days and making the most of every moment. 

We all live with regrets, missed opportunities, ones we wish we could redo or go back and undo. 

We can’t. We can’t go back and change the past; we can only ensure we don’t miss what is ahead as we move forward. But how do we do that? 

Some of us get paralyzed when we think about decisions or how to figure out God’s will for our lives. I believe some basic things can help us discern God’s will for our lives, but I have learned over the years that a few questions have helped to clarify it in my life:

4 questions to ask to figure out God’s will.

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What does God’s word say? 

This might seem obvious since we are talking about God’s will. But, many of us ignore what God’s word has to say regarding marriage, work, finances, integrity, or other aspects of life. Then we wonder why God isn’t being clear in our lives.

I wonder if we did what God called us to do, the things He’s already told us in Scripture; I think it would be more precise what decisions we should or should not make. 

It is also easy to read something in Scripture, get the sense that the Holy Spirit is speaking to us, and then ignore that, or think about how it doesn’t apply to me or my situation. 

What does trusted community say?

These are the mature Christians in your life who are wiser than you, and care about you but aren’t impressed by you. They are willing to say the hard things to you. The ones who can look you in the eye and tell you that you are missing something, and you will listen to them. 

This could be a boss, a spouse, a friend, etc. 

If you’re married, what does your spouse say about this decision? I’ve learned over the years, God’s voice sounds a lot like Katie’s in my life. Someone once said, “If you’re married and are one flesh, God might speak to your spouse first about something.”

Pay attention to those you trust and what they say about God’s will in your life.

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Often God will put people in our lives to speak to us and keep us from making poor decisions, but we can miss or discount that. 

What is easy or hard?

This question may not apply to you, but this has been helpful for me. 

I’ve learned over the years that for me, God’s will is usually straightforward, obvious, and more challenging than the other option.

Not always, but often, the easy decision isn’t the path God has called me to. 

Will this get me to where I believe God wants me to be?

I came across this question years ago in Experiencing God. Instead of making a pros & cons list, the author asked, “Will this get me to where I believe God wants me or hinder me?”

Will this get me to where I believe God wants me or hinder me? -Henry Blackaby

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We can easily get paralyzed in decision-making because we might be sure of the first step but not what comes next. So we wait until steps 2 – 5 are clear, but we need to take action and “do the next right thing.”

This gets down to, do I trust that God will show me the next step after I take this one.

Following after God and figuring out his will for our life is about submitting ourselves to him so that we can make the most of our days. 

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Favoritism, Faith and Getting Ahead

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Favorites. 

We all have them. We joke in our families about who is our favorite child or grandchild. So, we know what it’s like to play favorites and how that can hurt relationships. 

And from an early age, we are taught to look for who is the most powerful, prestigious, or wealthiest in any room or situation. We know who people want to be around and learn that our lives can change, often for good, when we get around those people. 

Now, knowing these things in relationships or at work isn’t bad. They can be helpful when you try to accomplish things or need to raise funds for something. 

But the question Jesus poses through various parables and James’s question in chapter 2 is, “Does this knowledge influence how you treat people?” Wrapped up in James 2 is the reality that in the kingdom of God, the rich are brought down, and the poor are brought up. The old saying, “the ground is level at the cross.”

If you’ve been following along at my church as we’ve been going through the book of James and looking at what it means to be the best of you, in chapter 2, we see: The best of you is seen in how you treat people who can’t return the favor.

The best of you is seen in how you treat people who can’t return the favor.

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Going further, the best of you is seen in how you treat people who don’t return the favor.

the best of you is seen in how you treat people who don’t return the favor.

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This is because, throughout Scripture, we are told that God is the father to the fatherless, the defender of the widow (Exodus 22, Deuteronomy 10, Psalm 68).

 If the gospel has changed us, we will not only treat and love people the way God does, but we will see them the way God does. 

Some simple ways this might show up for you are:

  • Sitting with the person who eats alone. 
  • Giving a hug or smile to a person who needs it. 
  • Being fair and honest in your financial dealings. 
  • Not cutting corners, lying, or trying to use people to get ahead at work or financially. 
  • Doing biblical and wise things, not just legal, regarding finances. 
  • Living on less so you can give more. 

The question I ended with on Sunday is one we need to wrestle with: who in your life do you need to love and serve that can’t or won’t return the favor?

Who in your life do you need to love and serve that can’t or won’t return the favor?

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Guardrails, Temptation and Finding Freedom

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Photo by Tim Swaan on Unsplash

We all have things about ourselves that we hate; something we do, things we think, things we feel, and things in our past. We spend a lot of energy trying to change these things. We hope that something will be different tomorrow. Maybe we’ll magically stop looking at porn, buying things we can’t afford or working too much, stop being so desperate for love, stop feeling lonely, and stop saying something at the wrong moment. Perhaps that memory will finally go away.

So, we read our Bibles.

Struggling with sin is the everyday Christian experience. Not because we don’t have power over sin. We do have power because of the work of Jesus on the cross in our place and rising from the dead. We have the ability through the Holy Spirit to battle our sins and win, but we often lose.

What do you do when you keep doing what you hate?

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In Romans 7, we see this struggle in Paul. Tim Keller lays this out as to why this is the present Christian experience:

  • At the beginning of chapter 7, Paul talks in the past tense; in verse 14, he changes to the present tense.
  • In  7 – 13, Paul talks about sin killing him, he’s dead, but in verse 14, Paul begins talking about an ongoing struggle with sin. He is fighting sin, struggling but refuses to surrender.
  • In  18, Paul says, “I know that nothing good dwells in me.” Those who don’t know Jesus are unaware of being lost and sinful. Without Jesus, we think we can save ourselves or are good.
  • In  22, Paul says, “I delight in God’s law.” If you don’t know Jesus, you can’t delight in God’s law.
  • Keller concludes, “Often we repent of past sin and think it’s done, but God wants to show us how to hate it when the seeds come up again.”

To move forward in freedom, it is important to name and confess those things you do that you hate. Those struggles you battle with. To admit what dwells in you. Often we have an inflated view of our goodness, but to experience the grace, we must understand the depths of our brokenness. Otherwise, what do we need God’s grace and forgiveness for?

We must put guardrails into place to find victory over sin and temptation. Guardrails on the road are there to direct and protect. They tell us where to go and where not to go. Guardrails aren’t in the danger zone but are built in the safety zone. One of our problems and reasons we fall into temptation is because we ask, “How far is too far?” Basically, “how close can I get without sinning?” When we have this mindset, we fall into sin.

As you think about finding victory, here are a few questions to answer:

How to hate your sin and run from it.

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What sin, temptation, emotion, situation, or relationship do you need to place a guardrail around? We have to identify what the battle is. Is it food, porn, going into debt, gossip, or working too much? Maybe it is a relationship where you need to have some boundaries to protect your heart or to have some wisdom in the access you give someone. We often fail to identify where a guardrail needs to be placed; if we don’t do that, we won’t protect ourselves.

What does a guardrail look like in that situation? For each person and each case, the guardrail might look different. I have a friend who, to put a guardrail around porn, doesn’t have a smartphone. Some people have cut up their credit cards not to overbuy; maybe they stop going to a place or putting themselves in a situation. Yes, God promises to give us a way out of every temptation, but sometimes, that way is not showing up or opening yourself up to that opportunity. If the thing you are placing a guardrail around involves someone else, let them speak about what the guardrail might be.

What freedom will a guardrail lead to? I think this is a crucial step. What will a life of freedom look like if you place a guardrail around that situation or thing? This focus can be compelling as you work through the complicated steps toward freedom. 

3 questions to help you fight sin and temptation.

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How to Let Go of Shame

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Photo by Sasha Freemind on Unsplash

All of us, to one degree or another, carry around the shame of things we’ve done, something done to us. Things we’ve said, things said to us—things we wished we had done and want to, that others had done. Shame shows up in many places and with all kinds of people.

We often overlook how much shame shapes our identity and lives. It becomes a driving force in our lives, how we work and how we relate to others and God.

Where does shame come from? To move forward in freedom, we must know where the broken places began. 

John Piper says shame comes from three causes:

  1. Guilt. This is the one many of us know well. The addiction, the hidden sin, the abuse we don’t talk about, the affair, the divorce, the poor parenting, our failure at work and in life. We carry guilt for ourselves and, often without thinking, for others. When guilt becomes public knowledge, we have shame. Now we are known for what we have feared.
  2. Shortcomings. Shortcomings and failures are something all of us experience. Some of them are real, and others are imagined. Some are life-shaping, and other shortcomings we shrug off. It is the ones that are life-shaping that lead to shame. When our frame of mind says, “You are a failure, you aren’t good enough, you aren’t beautiful, strong enough, or worthwhile,” we experience shame.
  3. Improprieties. These are the experiences in our life where we feel silly, look stupid, or are embarrassed. We make a mistake, and it feels like everyone knows about it.

These stories, experiences, and parts of our story become so much a part of us that, for many, we can’t imagine living life without them. We are the person this happened to, we are the experience that we walked through. We carry that, and we know that experience, and so often, it is hard to even imagine moving forward without our shame. 

What do you do with your shame?

According to Romans 10:11, if you are a follower of Jesus, you will not be put to shame.

Yet shame is a driving factor in the lives of so many.

Shame is a driving factor in the lives of so many.

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Here are six ways to move forward from your shame:

6 ways to move forward from your shame.

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1. Name your shame. If you don’t name something, it takes ownership of you. This is a crucial step. You must name the hurt, the guilt, the shortcoming, the impropriety, the embarrassment, the abuse, the loss, the misstep, and the sin. If you don’t, you stay stuck.

Whatever you can’t name in your life takes ownership of you.

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I’ve met countless people who couldn’t say the name of an ex, name the situation of hurt or talk about something. This doesn’t mean you are a victim or wallow in your pain, but naming something is crucial. Without this first step, the others become difficult to impossible.

The saying, “Whatever we don’t own, owns us,” applies here. This is a crucial, crucial step.

2. Identify the emotions attached to it. When we are hurt, we are emotionally wrecked and can’t see a way forward. We know that we are broken, and that life isn’t as we’d hoped, but we aren’t sure what to do.

What emotions are attached to your shame? Is it guilt? Loss? Failure? Missed opportunity? Sadness? Hopelessness? Indifference?

Name them.

Name the emotion that goes with your abuse, abandonment, divorce, failed business, dropping out of school, or not meeting your expectations or the expectations of someone else.

We often feel shame when we have a different emotion attached to it, but shame is far more familiar. Do you feel neglected or hurt, or sad? What emotion is conjured up from memory?

3. Confess the sins that are there. Do you always sin when you feel shameful? No. Sometimes it is a misplaced shame. It is a shame you have no business owning. You didn’t sin; someone else sinned against you.

Sometimes, though, there is a sin on your part. You may have sinned, and that’s why you feel shame. Sometimes your sin might be holding on to that person or situation.

Sometimes you must confess that your shame keeps you from moving forward and is keeping you stuck.

Bring those sins to light.

4. Grieve the loss. When we have shame, there is a loss. This loss might be a missed opportunity or missed happiness. It might be more significant than that and be a forgotten childhood, a loss of your 20s, a loss of health, or a job opportunity.

It might be a relationship that will never be, something you can never go back to.

As you think about your shame, what did you lose? What did you miss out on? What did that situation prevent you from doing or experiencing? What hurt do you carry around? What will never be the same because of that situation?

5. Name what you want. This one is new for me, but it concerns your desires.

Often the reason we stay stuck is that we know what stuck is. We don’t know what the future holds. Beyond that, we don’t know what we want.

We carry shame around from a relationship with a father who walked out. Do you want a relationship? Do you want to be in touch?

We carry shame from a failed business. Do you want to get back in the game?

Can you name what you want in the situation associated with your shame?

Sadly, many people cannot.

If you can’t name what you want or identify a desire, you will struggle to move forward.

6. Identify what God wants you to know about Him. When we carry around shame, we carry around a lie. In identifying that lie, we recognize the truth God wants us to know about Him.

If you feel unloved, the truth that God wants you to know is that you are loved. If you feel unwanted, God wants you to know you are wanted. If you feel dirty, God wants you to see the truth that in Him, you are clean.

Scripture tells us that God is a Father, that He is as close to us as a mother nursing her child, and that God is compassionate, slow to anger, abounding in love, gracious, tender, firm, and for us.

The list goes on and on.

In that list, though, is the truth, the antidote to your shame, and what you need to remind yourself of to move forward and live into the freedom of Jesus.

6 ways to move forward from your shame.

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Freedom is hard.

Let’s be honest; freedom is difficult. Living in sin, shame, guilt, and regret is easy. It is what we know. It is where most people live and reside.

Freedom is scary. Freedom is unknown. Freedom leaves us vulnerable. Freedom leaves us not in control.

Yet, this is what it means to be a child of God. To live in freedom. Overflowing freedom.

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How to Make Decisions

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Photo by Jamie Templeton on Unsplash

When figuring out God’s will, we often make it incredibly difficult. We talk about it mystically, heightening the sense that only a few find it. We wonder, does God have a specific will for my life? What if I miss it?

Does God have a specific will for your life?

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This happens with marriage; is there the one for me, and what if I marry the wrong one?

If there’s an open door, is that God’s will? Is it God’s way of saying no if it’s a closed door?

We also look at people in the Bible, Noah, Abraham, Moses, David, and Paul, and see people that God used in incredible ways, spoke to audibly, and laid out his will. We see Noah getting the measurements of the ark. Abraham and Moses are told where to go. Does God still do that?

For us, we have something they didn’t have. God’s will is written out in the form of God’s word. We have God’s inspired, authoritative word. Over 31,000 words that God has given to us and preserved to show us how life is to be lived.

Have you ever noticed that you can often see God’s will for someone else before they can? Others can usually see it for you as well. 

What if you are trying to figure out things in your life and hear the voice of God for you? God speaks to us in a variety of ways. He speaks through his word, opened and closed doors, friends, family, community, our desires and fears, and nature, to name a few. 

As you face your next decision, whether big or small, here are some ways to begin hearing God speak, move in your life, and stop resisting His voice. That last one is a big one.

When making decisions, most people set out the pros and cons of choice and then choose the way with the most pros or the least annoying or uncomfortable cons. What if we thought about it differently? What if we looked at the framework God has given us in Scripture and asked, “Will this choice get me to where God wants me, or will it hinder me?” Sometimes, the choice with the most cons will get us there.

Over the years, a few things have helped me discern what God is doing or calling me to do:

1. Listen to the Bible and close friends you trust who are spiritually mature. God’s will for your life is not a mystery; in fact, it’s all over the pages of the Bible. He tells us how to be married, be friends, and parents, have integrity, honor leaders and government and bosses, pray, fast, worship, and be a good steward of our treasures, time, and talents.

If we do these consistently and wholeheartedly, we will rarely wonder what God’s will for our lives is.

Why?

Because when we listen to his word and wise counsel, we will do what he called us to do, what he designed us to do.

On top of that, ask trusted friends and mentors who you consider to be spiritually mature.

What do they do? How do they live? What do they say about the questions you ask or your struggles?

Listen to them.

Does what they have to say line up with Scripture?

If so, that’s a clue you are heading in the right direction.

Pay attention to what the Bible says to you.

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During this time, you also need to make sure you are taking time to pause, sit and wait and listen. Don’t rush. One of the ways we get into trouble is when we rush ahead and get started too quickly.

2. Live out what the Bible and those friends tell you. 

Here comes the part where many of us get off the ride: Live it out.

It is one thing to say you are going to get up and read your Bible or exercise and another thing to do it.

It’s one thing to say you are going to be more patient with your kids and another thing to show them patience and grace.

Life is filled with regrets, missed opportunities, and a laundry list of should’s and could’s.

Pay attention to wise counsel.

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3. When you feel like God is speaking…act. 

This leads to the last part.

Act.

Do it.

Don’t stand on the sideline.

Have you ever noticed that God is moving in the lives of people who act? I don’t know if he speaks more to them, but they seem to listen more and work more.

Now it is time to move on to what God has said and not look back.

3 ways to hear the voice of God.

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While we’d love for God to give us a full roadmap of our lives, he doesn’t do that. We’d stay put if we knew everything that would come after a decision. That’s why the advice of Dallas Willard is so important: Do the next right thing. Take the next step that you see. 

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How God Grows & Changes Us

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Photo by Hello I’m Nik on Unsplash

All of us in our life and faith journey will walk through trials. If you’re like me, your first response is one of questioning. We question ourselves; we question God, and we get angry at ourselves, others, and God. 

Sunday, I started a brand new series on the book of James. In James, we see how God sees trials, which is incredibly important as we navigate them. James tells us to Consider it a great joy when you encounter trials. 

This is a mind shift for many of us as we view trials as something we should avoid at all costs. James isn’t saying to go searching for trials, but he tells us there is a point to them. He tells us in verse 3: you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its full effect so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing.

So, trials build endurance so we can be mature and complete, lacking nothing. When trials come our way, we lack something to which only a trial can bring completeness. 

But how does that happen? Throughout scripture, we see a few different reasons trials happen. In this list, I hope you can begin to see why you are walking through what you’re walking through: 

6 reasons God allows trials.

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Trials test the strength of your faith. It is easy to follow Jesus when life is going well, but what about when life isn’t going according to our plan? Trials demonstrate the strength of our faith.

I often think I deserve blessings and should get good things from God, and as we’ll see later in chapter 1, God gives good gifts. But God also allows trials because trials and gifts are needed to bring us to maturity. 

Trials humble us and show us where we need to depend on God and deepen our trust in God. The more we’re blessed, the more we are tempted to see that we did it. We built our portfolio, marriage, house, career, and body.

When we walk through trials, we may experience feelings of loneliness, which is why many people use the picture of walking through the desert or the dark night of the soul to describe a trial. In these moments, we will find that God is who we cling to, and trials can deepen our dependence and trust in God. 

What loneliness and the dark night of the soul do to our faith.

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Trials show how temporary the things we hold dear are. We get so much confidence from temporary things. Money, stuff, security, medicine, experience, knowledge. We rely on these things to save us instead of God. Trials remind us that these things won’t last.

Trials strengthen our hope for heaven and eternity. The harder the trial, the longer it lasts, and the more we look forward to being with God in eternity. Without trials, we will see the world as not too bad and wonder what makes heaven and the gospel so great.

Trials reveal what we love. Many of our trials will involve a loss: of relationships, careers, finances, house, our health. 

It isn’t wrong to love these things, but trials reveal if they have become an identity piece for us and if we are holding them too tightly. 

Tim Keller said, “You can tell something is an idol in your life by the degree of emotion you feel when something blocks it.” All of us have idols. Idols are anything or anyone we look to do what only God can do. Only God can complete us, not a job, child, or marriage. Only God can fulfill us, not a dream, goal, or career. Only God is our refuge, not our home. Only God is our security, not our money and stuff.

Trials have a way of revealing what our idols and identity are. 

You can tell something is an idol in your life by the degree of emotion you feel when something blocks it. -Tim Keller

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Trials can strengthen us for greater usefulness. This is what James is getting at; trials build endurance. For future things: maturity, completeness, wholeness, perfection, lacking nothing. 

Throughout Scripture and church history, God uses trials in the lives of people who impact our world. 

Trials also help us help others. Walking through things in this world gives us an opportunity to walk with others as they experience trials. 

The point of trials and difficulties in our lives.

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How to Walk with People through Pain & Difficulty

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Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Sunday, I preached how to walk through pain and life’s difficulties. One of the things I couldn’t get to is how to walk with someone through pain; how do you let others walk with you?

This is often hard to do from both perspectives.

When you are the one walking through the difficulty, we tend to keep it to ourselves. We don’t want to bother other people; we think we should be able to handle it on our own or we struggle to wonder if people care about us.

It is hard to know where to start when you are a friend watching someone walk through difficulty. How do you step in and help? What do they need? Especially around sickness or death, it can sometimes be hard to know what to say or how to say it. We often choose not to do anything, even though we’d like to.

A few years ago, I read a great book by Kate Bowler called Everything Happens for a Reason (and other lies I’ve loved). Kate was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer, and in the end, she shares how to walk with people because it is difficult, we want to do it well, but we often find ourselves fumbling about it.

According to Bowler, here are some things not to say:

What not to say to someone walking through a difficult time.

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  • ‘Well, at least . . .’ Whoa. Hold up there. Were you about to make a comparison? At least it’s not . . . what? Stage V cancer? Don’t minimize.
  • ‘In my long life, I’ve learned that . . .’ Geez. Do you want a medal? I get it! You lived forever. Well, some people are worried that they won’t or that things are so hard they won’t want to. So ease up on the life lessons. Life is a privilege, not a reward.
  • ‘It’s going to get better. I promise.’ Well, fairy godmother, that will be a tough row to hoe when things go badly.
  • ‘God needed an angel.’ This one takes the cake because (a) it makes God look sadistic and needy, and (b) angels are, according to Christian tradition, created from scratch. Not dead people looking for a cameo in Ghost. Do you see how confusing it is when we pretend that the deceased returned to help us find your car keys or make pottery?
  • ‘Everything happens for a reason.’ The only thing worse than saying this is pretending that you know the reason. I’ve had hundreds of people tell me the reason for my cancer. Because of my sin. Because of my unfaithfulness. Because God is fair. Because God is unfair. Because of my aversion to Brussels sprouts. I mean, no one is short of reasons. So if people tell you this, make sure you are there when they go through the cruelest moments of their lives, and start offering your own. When someone is drowning, the only thing worse than failing to throw them a life preserver is handing them a reason.
  • ‘I’ve done some research and…’ I thought I should listen to my oncologist, nutritionist, and a team of specialists, but it turns out that I should be listening to you. Please tell me more about the medical secrets that only one flaxseed provider in Orlando knows. Wait, let me get a pen.
  • ‘When my aunt had cancer…’ My darling dear, I know you are trying to relate to me. Now you see me, and you are reminded that terrible things have happened in the world. But guess what? That is where I live, in the valley of the shadow of death. But now I’m on vacation because I’m not in the hospital or dealing with my mess. Do I have to take my sunglasses off and join you on the saddest journey down memory lane, or do you mind if I finish my mojito?
  • ‘So, how are the treatments going? How are you really?’ This is the toughest one of all. I hear you trying to understand my world and be on my side. But picture the worst thing that has ever happened to you. Got it?

Here are some things to say:

What to say to someone walking through a difficult time.

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  • “I’d love to bring you a meal this week. Can I email you about it?” Oh, thank goodness. I am starving, but I can mostly never figure out something to tell people I need, even if I need it. But really, bring me anything. Chocolate. A potted plant. A set of weird erasers. I remember the first gift I got that wasn’t about cancer, and I was so happy I cried. Send me funny emails filled with YouTube clips to watch during chemotherapy. Do something that suits your talents. But most important, bring me presents! 
  • “You are a beautiful person.” Unless you are used to speaking in a creepy windowless-van kind of voice, comments like these go a long way. Tell your friend something you admire about his or her life without making it feel like a eulogy.
  • “I am so grateful to hear about how you’re doing. Just know that I’m on your team.” Do you mean I don’t have to give you an update? Did you ask someone else for all the gory details? Whew. Great! Now, I get to feel like you are both informed and concerned. So, don’t gild the lily. What you have said is amazing, so don’t screw it up now by being a nosy Nellie. Ask a question about any other aspect of my life. 
  • “Can I give you a hug?” Some of my best moments with people have come with a hug or a hand on the arm. People who are suffering often—not always—feel isolated and want to be touched. Hospitals and big institutions, in general, tend to treat people like cyborgs or throwaways. So, ask whether your friend feels up for a hug and give her some sugar. 
  • “Oh, my friend, that sounds so hard.” Perhaps the weirdest thing about having something awful happen is that no one wants to hear about it. People tend to want to hear the summary, but they don’t usually want to hear it from you. And that it was awful. So, simmer down and let your friend talk for a bit. Be willing to stare down the ugliness and sadness. Life is absurdly hard, and pretending it isn’t is exhausting.
  • *****Silence***** The truth is that no one knows what to say. It’s awkward. Pain is awkward. Tragedy is awkward. People’s weird, suffering bodies are awkward. But take the advice of one man who wrote to me with his policy: Show up and shut up. 
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Finding Hope, Fighting Cynicism at Christmas

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Photo by Ron Smith on Unsplash

We have a lot of feelings at Christmas time. Feelings of happiness and joy, laughter, parties, and gifts. 

But we also experience some deeper, sadder feelings. The feelings of loneliness, being left out or forgotten. But one feeling creeps up on us, especially as we age. And that’s cynicism. 

It’s easy at Christmas to be cynical. To look at people and think life doesn’t turn out that way. Like the commercials, people don’t just buy cars for their spouse without telling them. It’s easy to hear children’s dreams and think, good luck with that. I wish I could get the new iPhone too! To watch another hallmark movie and feel you can’t just leave the big city and move to a small town in New England and find love! It doesn’t work like that. 

We do this with God too. To hear the stories of Jesus coming to earth and think, God doesn’t love like that. He doesn’t enter into the messiness of my story. 

Advent is the answer to our cynicism and skepticism. The weeks remind us that when Jesus came and when Jesus comes again, we have hope, joy, peace, and love. Those aren’t just words for songs; they are real things and things we need. 

But another reason we get cynical is we’re tired of waiting. We’re tired of trusting. We’re tired of asking: When will God heal my body and mend my relationships? When will God free me from this addiction? When will God do this for the people closest to me?

What do we do with our cynicism, so it doesn’t ruin our holidays?

Carey Nieuwhof said, “Cynicism happens not because you don’t care but because you do.”

Cynicism happens not because you don’t care but because you do. -@cnieuwhof

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The places in our lives where we become cynical are deeply personal hopes and dreams that we carry for our present and future.

In this place, we have to battle for contentment and fight cynicism.

One of the things we miss when we think about contentment is that our contentment in life, marriage, parenting, and leadership is not just about us but all the people connected to us. Our spouse and kids are affected by our contentment or lack thereof.

If you are a pastor, leader, or boss, those following you are impacted by the contentment or cynicism you feel. As a parent, your kids feel the weight of cynicism or the joy of your contentment. 

As a parent, your kids feel the weight of cynicism or the joy of your contentment.

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We can easily beat ourselves up because of contentment and cynicism ebb and flow.

But how do you fight for contentment, especially if you are not naturally optimistic?

3 ways to fight cynicism.

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Surround yourself with contented people. A thankful person is a joy to be around. Get around them, listen to them. They have peace that few other people have.

Learn what leads to cynicism. If you are a church planter or pastor, cynicism comes from hearing about a larger church or a church planter who was given a building out of the blue (that’s mine). If you are a parent, it might be hearing about another family or seeing something on Instagram. Know your triggers. Know when they might hit. Hint: it will often happen when you are tired or emotionally depleted. Just be aware of that.

Be grateful for what you have. One of the practices that has helped me this past year is writing down at least three daily things I am thankful for. This has caused me to pause in my day and see how things are going well, things I can celebrate.

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The Celebration of Advent

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Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

A lot is written and said about the waiting and the longing of Advent. And that is what Advent is, the silence, the letting go of control as we wait. 

But what are we waiting for? What are we anticipating?

A celebration. 

We also see this in the book of Isaiah. The book of Isaiah has so many prophecies about the Messiah and what the birth, life, death, and resurrection of Jesus would mean for us. 

Isaiah 25 says: On this mountain the LORD Almighty will prepare a feast of rich food for all peoples, a banquet of aged wine – the best of meats and the finest of wines. 

This is not a thrown-together party. 

This is well thought out. 

Like the preparation many of us go through for Christmas. 

I love to smoke meat. I’ll get up early on holidays to get the right flavored wood to go with the meat, the perfect rub, making sure the food is excellent for the people I’m serving. 

Why? It brings joy. 

The best foods, the finest wines. We are told in Psalm 104 that wine brings joy. 

This is a picture of joy. 

The best meat is the expensive, dry-aged ribeye steak. The best wine, not the stuff in a box, but the one you go into the wine cellar and pull out, the wine you’ve been saving. 

Our best Christmas feast is only a foretaste of what eternity with Jesus will be like. 

Christmas is a foretaste of eternity.

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We don’t think like this. 

But we practice for eternity when we sit around a table with friends and family. 

Do you see how joy is savoring? 

Joy is slowing down. 

How to experience joy at Christmas.

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But this feast isn’t just about what is being served but the purpose of it. 

The prophet Isaiah goes on: On this mountain he will destroy the shroud that enfolds all peoples, the sheet that covers all nations; he will swallow up death forever. The Sovereign LORD will wipe away the tears from all faces; he will remove the disgrace of his people from all the earth. The LORD has spoken. In that day they will say, “Surely this is our God; we trusted in him, and he saved us. This is the LORD, we trusted in him; let us rejoice and be glad in his salvation.”

Have you ever been invited to a party and not been in the mood?

Maybe right now, you look at your life, this past year, and wonder how you can celebrate. How can you meet up with family and friends this week and celebrate?!

The hope of Advent is that Jesus came and that He will come again, and when he does, he will swallow up death forever; he will wipe every tear away from our faces. 

He will take away the pain of betrayal, sadness, cancer, the pain of death, and decay.  

He will swallow them up. He is showing his power over those things. 

He will remove the disgraces. 

Think, the disgraces, the things you wish you could undo, the regrets you wish you hadn’t missed, the things your family reminds you of, the things you think when you look in the mirror, all removed. 

We rejoice, and we are glad in his salvation. 

In what he has done. 

Our salvation was bought 2,000 years ago when Jesus came to earth, died in our place, and rose from the dead. 

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How to Handle Seasons of Doubt & Disappointment

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Photo by Patrick Fore on Unsplash

As I’ve been preaching through the book of Daniel, I’ve been struck by the struggles Daniel has and doesn’t have.

He doesn’t seem to struggle with confidence and courage in following God’s call on his life. When faced with praying to God or worshiping a false god (the king), he chooses God. Was it difficult for him? Maybe, but we aren’t told.

In the second half of Daniel, we encounter a switch in how Daniel writes. The first half is a narrative, the story of Daniel’s life, but the second half is apocalyptic. Apocalyptic means “revelation,” so it is a revealing of something.

Often, apocalyptic carries a sense of doom but also a promise of God’s presence and power. It is two sides of the same coin.

How to understand apocalyptic texts in the Bible.

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Daniel comes to God in Daniel 7 with a question: why does evil prosper? Why are there mighty kings who are against God and His people?

We have the same question.

Why is my life so hard when I’m only trying to please God? Why do I have cancer? Why do I suffer when those around me who want nothing to do with God have an easy go of it?

Why am I not progressing the way I want to in my career, marriage, or parenting? Why can’t my finances come together, but that person at work who cuts corners gets promoted and things his way?

God’s answer to evil.

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God’s answer to Daniel is simple: Yes, evil exists and prospers but not forever.

This is comforting and hard all at the same time.

God gives Daniel a dream of 4 beasts, a throne engulfed in flames which the Ancient of Days sits on, and the son of man (which we know from the gospels is Jesus).

Many historians debate who the beasts are and which kingdoms they represent. We know they are kings and prosper in wealth, destroying people and nations, but they eventually disappear, and someone else takes their place.

This is the reality and comfort God gives Daniel.

When we come to God, asking why things are difficult or struggling to trust Him with today, tomorrow, and the day after, He often doesn’t provide us the answer we want.

He gives us Himself.

That’s what He did for Daniel.

What is easy to overlook is verse 2, where we are told the beasts come out of the sea after the winds of the heavens stir the sea.

God tells Daniel in multiple places in chapter 7 that yes, evil exists, and yes, it is difficult and challenging.

But I am there. I am here.

That is the power and hope of God’s presence.