The Seasons of Life and Family

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Life is full of seasons

We see this in the seasons of childhood and school, the seasons we walk through each decade, and the seasons of our careers. 

I’ve always gravitated toward the year’s seasons and how they reflect our seasons of life. 

Here’s what I mean: 

Winter is the season of hibernation and resting, holding steady. It is also the season of sadness, sickness, and loneliness. There are seasons in life and family of sorrow, illness, and loneliness. Seasons of resting and clearing the calendar to sit by the fire. Winter is also the season of preparation because you aren’t doing other activities. 

While it can feel like nothing is happening in winter, many things are happening in winter.

Spring is the season of new beginnings and opportunities, the season of hope. Life is blooming. This season can feel like a shotgun went off. Like it is all of a sudden busy. Everything is happening at once. This season can start with a new job, opportunity, or school year. I remember a farmer telling me once that to have a great fall; you have to jump on the opportunity in spring and work harder than you think. 

Summer is the season of growth, enjoyment, and fun. Summer is the season of life when you begin to see the payoff for some of what you did in life. In the summer, you also need to be pruning your life to live effectively and at a sustainable pace. In farming, you are weeding, protecting what matters to you. Summer can also be the time you are tempted to sit back, but if you do, that’s when you can lose your crop. 

Fall is the harvest season. We reap all that we have sown in the fall. Fall is when you see the results of what you did and either celebrate or lament. Fall is the season of change; the leaves change, and the weather gets colder. Fall is also the time that you prepare for winter. You winterize your house and pipes. The same is true in life and relationships. You need to prepare for winter. 

Which season are you in personally? What about your spouse and each one of your kids?

This is because if we don’t know which season we are in, we will be unprepared for the next season. We will also miss the blessings that each season brings. 

Winter brings the blessings of slower times, sitting by the fire and relaxing, doing a puzzle, and being together with family and friends. 

Spring brings the blessings of warmer days, walking outside, and beginning gardens and new rhythms. 

Summer brings the blessings of longer days, picnics and beach days with friends and family, and vacations from school and work. 

Fall brings the blessings of a new school year, new adventures, and cooler temperatures. 

Each season has its blessings, but it also has its challenges. 

Winter brings the challenges of sadness and loneliness. The days are shorter, and the nights are longer. 

Spring brings the challenges of busyness and feeling behind. 

Summer brings the challenges of a new schedule that can throw your life into chaos. 

Fall brings the challenges of being behind the eight ball and not being prepared. 

 

How to Figure Out God’s Will for Your Life

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When people talk about figuring out God’s will or hearing the voice of God, we tend to get very mysterious and talk about it in ways that, when we step back, seem odd. 

Have you ever noticed that you can often see God’s will for someone else before they can? Others can usually see it for you as well. 

What if you are trying to figure out things in your life and hear the voice of God for you? God speaks to us in a variety of ways. He speaks through his word, open and closed doors, friends, family, community, our desires and fears, and nature, to name a few. 

As you face your next decision, whether big or small, here are some ways to begin hearing God speak, move in your life, and stop resisting His voice. That last one is a big one.

1. Listen to the Bible and close friends you trust who are spiritually mature. God’s will for your life is not a mystery; in fact, it’s all over the pages of the Bible. He tells us how to be married, be friends, and parents, have integrity, honor leaders and government and bosses, pray, fast, worship, and be a good steward of our treasure, time, and talents.

I believe that if we do these consistently and wholeheartedly, we will rarely wonder what God’s will for our lives is.

Why?

Because when we listen to his word and wise counsel, we will be doing what he called us to do, what he designed us to do.

On top of that, ask trusted friends and mentors who you consider to be spiritually mature.

What do they do? How do they live? What do they say about the questions you ask or your struggles?

Listen to them.

Does what they have to say line up with Scripture?

If so, that’s a clue you are heading in the right direction.

During this time, you also need to make sure you are taking time to pause, sit and wait and listen. Don’t rush. One of the ways we get into trouble is when we rush ahead and get started too quickly.

2. Live out what the Bible and those friends tell you. 

Here comes the part where many of us get off the ride: Live it out.

It is one thing to say you are going to get up and read your Bible or exercise, and another thing to do it.

It’s one thing to say you are going to be more patient with your kids and another thing to show them patience and grace.

Life is filled with regrets, missed opportunities, and a laundry list of shoulds and coulds.

3. When you feel like God is speaking…act. 

This leads to the last part.

Act.

Do it.

Don’t stand on the sideline.

Have you ever noticed that God is moving in the lives of people who act? I don’t know if he speaks more to them, but they seem to listen more and work more.

Now it is time to move on to what God has said and not look back.

How to Survive and Thrive in a Divided World

thrive

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Many say, “Our world has never been more divided. It has never been this hard to follow Jesus. Our culture has never been so evil or opposed to God.”

While these feel true because of the world we inhabit and like a fish in water, this is the only world we know, it is hard to see anything else. History and Scripture tell a different story.

Is our world divided? Yes.

Is it hard to follow Jesus? Yes.

Is our culture opposed to God and spiraling out of control? Yes.

Is this the worst it has ever been? No.

Enter what I think is one of the most relevant books in the Bible and stories about the life of Daniel.

Daniel doesn’t just tell us the story of a culture opposed to God, but how to also live and thrive in that culture and how we can hold on to our faith in that culture.

I hear more and more of the idea that Christians must fight the culture with the same weapons. If the culture protests, we should. If the culture enacts laws or lobbies politicians, we should. If the culture yells and screams names at us, we should also.

But does that work?

Depends on our goal. If our goal is to do what the culture around us is doing and what they are accomplishing, then we should use their weapon. But if we have a different goal (and Scripture does for followers of Jesus), then that should influence how we live, act and react.

 

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Daniel shows us how not to give in but gain influence and survive and thrive in a culture that is opposed to God.

But in doing that, we have to know when to stand up, what to hold fast, and when to let things go.

In Daniel 1, after Daniel and his friends are taken into exile, they are fed the food of the king (food and wine that was sacrificed to idols), they were made into Eunuchs, educated in the occult and values of the Babolynian culture (the evilest culture in the history of the world), their names were changed and more.

Yet, the thing that Daniel and his friends stood against was the food.

To me, this is fascinating and a little head-scratching. You would think the food would be the lowest on the list. Why not fight about the culture, the values, and the education they were getting? That is where many Christians spend their time fighting in our culture. I’m not saying we shouldn’t stand against things in the school system, but I think it’s interesting that Daniel and his friends don’t.

When they stand against the food, they ask the Chief Eunuch to feed them water and vegetables (Daniel 1:8). He also tells him to decide after ten days if the test is worth it. Now, what’s interesting about this whole exchange is that Chief Eunuch doesn’t have to grant Daniel’s request and doesn’t have to give him ten days. Daniel asks; Daniel is humble and shows his willingness to be under the Chief Eunuch, no matter what is decided.

One of the themes in Daniel that Larry Osborne points out, which is vital for our cultural moment, is “God is in control of who is in control.”

So, in light of God’s power over all the authorities (parents, schools, teachers, government officials, etc.), how do we engage the world around us? How do we know when to stand up and stand against and when to keep our mouths shut?

The answer is not as universal as I think we might think.

What is a conviction for you may not be for others.

We see this in the New Testament around food sacrificed to idols (1 Corinthians 8). Paul tells us that there are things that matter of conscience and conviction.

In light of that, as you look at the world around you, here are a few words to keep in mind:

  • Conviction
  • Disagreement
  • Discomfort

First is conviction. These are the firmly held beliefs you have according to Scripture. The beliefs that shape your life and doctrine. The hills that you will die on and not budge on. As we’ll see, not everything is a conviction, but in our culture, most Christians put everything into this category. Again, your convictions may not be held by every other Christian.

The second is disagreement. The word disagreement shows us that this can be a debated topic. These are things you believe, but others hold different opinions on. These can be what Paul refers to in Romans as “disputed matters” (Romans 14:1).

The last is discomfort. These ideas, beliefs, values, and practices make you uncomfortable. They might be connected to a conviction, or they might be things you don’t like. Again, many Christians put their discomforts into convictions, and when we do, I think we cut off some influence we have.

Again, the things you put in conviction, disagreement, and discomfort are important to understand because they might not be the same for everyone. But it is also essential to think through what we face in our culture, and the values that are given to us and ask, where do I put each of those things? Knowing that helps us to move forward with wisdom and humility, to know when to stand up and when not to, what is worth losing something over, and what might be a battle we skip for another day.

The Spiritual Rhythm of Walking

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When we started our summer series Summer Reset: Reevaluating our Spiritual Rhythms, one of the rhythms we talked about was the practice of walking. Yet, as we wrapped up our series on Sunday, if you’ve been following along, you know that we didn’t talk about walking. 

We planned to do it on July 24th when I came back from my summer preaching break, but I felt like we needed to spend a week on the rhythm of letting go and talking about what we’ve lost in these last few years. 

In light of that, I wanted to write about the spiritual rhythm of walking. One of the books that was helpful to me on the topic was Mark Buchanan’s book, God Walk: Moving at the Speed of Your Soul.

Why walk? What are the benefits of walking as a spiritual rhythm?

Here are a few:

Perspective. Have you ever had a heated discussion with someone, and you both got up and went to separate spaces to collect your thoughts and catch your breath? That’s one thing walking does. It creates distance. After a walk, I often feel clarity about things that were once foggy. 

Silence. Coupled with perspective, it gives us silence. One of the things I think is vital with walking is to do it without your phone. Yes, walking can be a great time to listen to worship music or a podcast, and I’d encourage you to do that with this practice, but it is also a great time to get some silence, to listen to the breeze and nature, and still your soul and the voices running around in your head. 

This silence allows you to hear God’s voice, get a sense of what He is doing or directing you, and pray about things. 

Processing things. Moving is a great way to process and move items around in your head. It helps you to be more creative, let go of things and make better decisions

Health. Walking thirty minutes a day, getting your 10,000 steps in, is one of the best things you can do for your health, no matter your age. David Sautter,  a NASM-certified personal trainer at Top Fitness, said, “A sedentary lifestyle is how muscle and connective tissue atrophies. Impact movement, such as walking, helps to provide the stimulus needed for maintaining muscle and tissue density.” And according to the Arthritis Foundation, “Walking is one of the most important things you can do if you have arthritis. It helps you lose weight or maintain the proper weight. That, in turn, lessens joint stress and improves arthritis symptoms.” 

Slow us down. One of the things we see in the gospels is Jesus walked everywhere, and as we walk it slows us down. Our world moves quickly and our bodies are not created to move at the speed we often run. This is why we love nature, getting away, and breathing deeply in the mountain or ocean air. 

We need to slow down, and walking is one of the ways we do that. 

The Practice of Letting Go

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On Sunday, I talked about the year(s) that we have lived through. It has been a lot. 

Some of us have lost and started new jobs or watched family and friends do so. Maybe you have moved or watched friends move. We have seen friends and family get sick, and some of us have said goodbye to friends and family who have passed away. 

All of it has been a lot to walk through. 

Over this last year, I have heard from countless people and thought, “Can’t we just go back to how it was?” But we can’t. We can’t get back what we lost or go back to how it was; we have to move forward. But to move forward, we have to take stock of where things are and give things over to God. 

Ecclesiastes 7 stopped me in my tracks one morning during my preaching break. 

It says: 

A good name is better than fine perfume, and the day of one’s death is better than the day of one’s birth. It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, since that is the end of all mankind, and the living should take it to heart. Grief is better than laughter, for when a face is sad, a heart may be glad. The heart of the wise is in a house of mourning, but the heart of fools is in a house of pleasure. It is better to listen to rebuke from a wise person than to listen to the song of fools, for like the crackling of burning thorns under the pot, so is the laughter of the fool. This too is futile. Surely, the practice of extortion turns a wise person into a fool, and a bribe corrupts the mind. The end of a matter is better than its beginning; a patient spirit is better than a proud spirit. Don’t let your spirit rush to be angry, for anger abides in the heart of fools. Don’t say, “Why were the former days better than these?” since it is not wise of you to ask this. Wisdom is as good as an inheritance and an advantage to those who see the sun, because wisdom is protection as silver is protection; but the advantage of knowledge is that wisdom preserves the life of its owner. Consider the work of God, for who can straighten out what he has made crooked? In the day of prosperity be joyful, but in the day of adversity, consider: God has made the one as well as the other, so that no one can discover anything that will come after him.

God has made the day of prosperity and adversity. 

This season led me to an essential practice that has helped me immensely. I saw it in John Eldredge’s great book Get Your Life Back: Everyday Practices for a World Gone Mad. He calls it benevolent detachment. It stops several times each day to give everyone and everything over to God. 

To help me with that, I use his pause app (which I’d highly recommend you download for free), set the time that works for your day, and pause to give everything and everyone over to God. 

Each day, my phone buzzes at 10:45 and 3:30 to remind me to pause. When I do, I sit still, take several deep breaths and pray over and over, “God, I give everything and everyone to you.” This has helped me let go of what is behind me and see what is in front of me so I can be fully present with God, myself and others. It reminds me that I am not all-powerful, but God is. It reminds me that God cares for me, and I can give him what is weighing me down. And ultimately, God has it all in his hands. 

Creating a Rhythm of Sabbath Rest

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Recently, I preached on the topic of Sabbath rest. But how do you create that? What goes into that day and preparing for that day?

Before getting to that, why don’t we rest? After all, almost everyone I talk to says things like, “I have too many things on my calendar” or, “At the end of the day, I don’t have energy for my spouse, kids, or the people who matter most to me.” We are tired, overwhelmed, and a rundown bunch of people.

To prepare for the sabbath and to create a rhythm of rest, here are some questions to ask yourself (and your family):

  • Am I living sustainably, and will it help me thrive tomorrow?
  • What would you do for 24 hours that would fill your soul with deep, throbbing joy? (from John Mark Comer)
  • What is necessary? What brings life?

The goal of the sabbath is rest, joy, and delight.

Why does this matter?

God calls us to be healthy. Healthy spiritually, physically, relationally, emotionally, and mentally. God created us, and all of us are meant to glorify Him.

This is a question that pushes on wisdom. In your life and your family right now, are you living in a way that will help you be healthy and thrive tomorrow? Is it sustainable? In churches, people often burn out because they overload their calendars. We say yes to too many things. I have friends in four Bible studies a week, run their kids to ballet, orchestra, baseball, and football, and serve in six ministries. Now, once you ask, are we living sustainably, you will often cut things out of your life. This is a good thing. However, the problem appears in the cutting. The second part is what will help me thrive tomorrow. That answer is more complicated. Not harder to discern but harder to apply. I’ll often see people cut God or church out of their lives in favor of hobbies or their kids’ sports. That won’t help you thrive tomorrow.

So what is the answer? What is our hope?

We are learning to see and live with Jesus as our rest.

Tim Keller helps us with what this looks like:

God liberated his people when they were slaves in Egypt, and in Deuteronomy 5:12–15, God ties the Sabbath to freedom from slavery. Anyone who overworks is really a slave. Anyone who cannot rest from work is a slave – to a need for success, to a materialistic culture, to exploitative employers, to parental expectations, or to all of the above. These slave masters will abuse you if you are not disciplined in the practice of Sabbath rest. Sabbath is a declaration of freedom.

Thus Sabbath is about more than external rest of the body; it is about inner rest of the soul. We need rest from the anxiety and strain of our overwork, which is really an attempt to justify ourselves—to gain the money or the status or the reputation we think we have to have. Avoiding overwork requires deep rest in Christ’s finished work for your salvation (Hebrews 4:1–10). Only then will you be able to ‘walk away’ regularly from your vocational work and rest.

What does that look like practically on a day-to-day basis? Here are a few ideas:

Let go because Jesus has this. As our Sabbath rest, we need to let go and give Jesus our burdens, stress, anxiety, and rest in Him. We know we will have responsibilities, stress, and worries because Jesus tells us we will, and we are to give them to him. Because of Jesus’ work, coming from heaven to earth, we can accept our limitations. Because Jesus is limitless, we can rest in Him.

Schedule rest and recreation. It won’t just happen. Hebrews 4 tells us that we are to enter God’s rest. Exodus 20 tells us to “Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy.” There is an active move on our part as it relates to rest. Sabbath throughout Scripture is an intentional thing, not something that is thrown together at the end.

The reality of being intentional also comes into play when it comes to our calendars and how we spend our time. Our lack of rest, while we often blame others, really comes down to our problem of stopping, trusting God, and being okay with not doing certain things.

You’ve heard me say that every time you say yes to one thing, you say no to something else.

Maybe you should take your kids out of activities so that you can spend the evening together. The number one complaint I hear from people is, “I don’t have time. I don’t have time for hobbies, sleep, marriage, relationships, kids, or reading my Bible.” You do; you just gave that time away. You give your time to the things that matter most. So what gets your time is what is essential. This is why taking control of your calendar matters. If you don’t control your calendar, someone else will.

Learn how you rest best. What does enjoying God look like? I think there are some basic principles, but each of us will do this in unique ways. If the goal of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever, Sabbath rest is a great way to do this.

This will also include the reality of a place for all of us. Place matters when it comes to glorifying God, enjoying God, and resting in God.

The place is throughout Scripture. Adam and Eve were given a garden, the nation of Israel was given a land, and the church is given a city in Revelation. There is a place where rest, connecting to God, feeling closer to God happen for us, and it is essential to think through that. For some, it is a farm, the woods, a mountain, a city, a beach, but figure it out.

Fight against technology. A few practical things help me: resting from social media once a week, not having phones at the table so I can enjoy family time and conversations with friends, and not checking email at night or on the weekends. The sad thing is that study after study says that as we become more and more technological as a culture, we become more distant and lonely.

Review your day and week. In his helpful book The Rest of God, Mark Buchanan says that at the end of your day, ask: Where did I feel most alive, most hopeful, most in the presence of God? And where did I feel most dead, most despairing, farthest from God? What fulfilled me, and what left me forsaken? Where did I taste consolation, and where desolation? This helps you to see where God is moving and at work. Part of Sabbath rest is celebrating that God is in control, resting in that, and praising God’s goodness in our lives.

Practicing Silence & Solitude

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Practicing silence and solitude will take some practice. It is a rhythm that we need, but often we don’t take the time to practice. 

For some of us, we struggle to make time for ourselves and God; we struggle to put it into our schedule. Our lives are so busy and fast that sitting alone in silence is uncomfortable. Some of us struggle with silence because it is in the silence that we hear voices and stories from our past or the enemy. 

As we looked on Sunday, some of us say we aren’t sure God will speak to us or wants to speak to us.

As you make this a regular rhythm, here are some ideas from Ruth Haley Barton’s excellent book, Invitation to Solitude and Silence: Experiencing God’s Transforming Presence:

  1. Identify your sacred time and space. Look for an area where you can be alone for a specific time, whether outside, at home or office. Does it help to use a candle? A cross to help you focus on the presence of God? Be sure to let family or co-workers know about your rhythm to have some time for silence and solitude. 
  2. Begin with a modest goal. Depending on your experience with this practice, and your life stage, take that into account as you think about your goal. Don’t feel the pressure to set a goal of sitting in silence for 15 minutes if you’ve never done this before. Barton reminds us, “The amount of time is not nearly as important as the regularity of this practice.”
  3. Settle into a comfortable yet alert physical position. Sit in a position that is comfortable but helps you to be alert. If you feel comfortable placing your hands up, do so.
  4. Ask God to give you a simple prayer that expresses your openness and desire for God. Choose a prayer phrase that describes your desire or need for God these days in the simplest terms. An example might be The Jesus Prayer: Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me.” Pray this prayer several times as an entry into silence and a way of dealing with distractions.
  5. Sit and be with God. The goal of silence and solitude is to be aware of the presence and love of God.
  6. Close your time in silence with a prayer of gratitude for God’s presence. 

Lastly, be gracious with yourself. The goal is to be with God. If you think of something you need to do later in the day, either hand that over to God or write it on a pad next to you to get back to your practice. No matter how long it lasts or how long it goes, trust that it is enough and what God needs it to be for you.

The Goal of Spiritual Rhythms

Sunday I started a new series at CCC called Summer Reset: Reevaluating our Spiritual Rhythms

When new year’s goals and resolutions roll around almost every year, millions of people make a goal connected to their spiritual life. It might be reading their Bible more, praying more, or being more generous, which is fantastic. But often we fail to move the needle in those places, or at least to the degree we’d like to see.

Many times we get frustrated with ourselves, think something is wrong with us, and then fail to reengage with God.

Have you ever asked why that is? There are many reasons this happens, but I think one of them centers on our spiritual rhythms.

Have you ever asked yourself: What is the goal of spiritual rhythms or practices? When I read my Bible, pray, give, fast, or any other spiritual practice, what am I hoping will happen?

I like the word rhythm and practice because it helps me see life as a rhythm. Rhythms get the idea of movement, timing, seasons, and life in that way. Practices help me to know that I am practicing, I have not arrived. Every time I fast, feast, pray, sit in silence or join in community, I am practicing. And, if I don’t get it right (which is often) or if things feel stale (which happens), I am practicing. 

What is your goal when it comes to spiritual practices? To your spiritual rhythms?

If you think about the question, you will start to think of things like growing close to Jesus, growing in my faith, and learning about Jesus. And those are good answers. 

Spiritual practices are how we connect with God and relate to God. But spiritual practices also do something else; they are how we become more present to God, others, and ourselves. They reorient our hearts and lives around the things of God, which is crucial in our world that is so loud and easily distracts us. 

This is why the goal of spiritual practices is so important. If we don’t know the purpose, we won’t understand why we need to practice them or what we are trying to experience or accomplish when we practice them. We will also miss what God is trying to do in us, around us, and in those practices. We can read our Bible, pray, take a sabbath, and miss all that it could be.

While spiritual practices do many things, I think they bring about two important things:

  1. They are about our formation, becoming more like Christ, and how we walk with Christ as his disciples, as his apprentices, alongside him.
  2. They help us to be present with God, ourselves, and others. They help us be aware of what is happening in us, what is going on in others, and what God is doing. They help us not to miss things.

As we practice them, we look for how God is forming us. As we experience difficulty or struggle through practice, we look for what God is doing in us, how we are being shaped, and who we are being shaped into. 

The Healing Power of Jesus

Sunday, I wrapped up our series, Questions Jesus Asked, and looked at a question that Jesus asked a man who couldn’t walk at the pool of Bethesda.

Before getting to the question, some background.

In John 5, Jesus is walking by the pool on the Sabbath. The pool is a place where possibly hundreds of people who were blind, deaf, lame, etc., would wait for the waters to stir. They believed that an angel was stirring the waters when the waters stirred, and the first person in the pool would be healed. The man that Jesus encounters has sat there and waited for 38 years.

38 years!

I don’t know what it is like to be an invalid or live in chronic pain for 38 years. But imagine that.

This is important for the question that Jesus will ask this man.

I wonder, did this man give up hope? Did he think, this is what life is like?

I think this can be easy to do when we think about places in our lives that we’d like to change or heal. Some of this might be being realistic, but other times, it might be a way that we protect ourselves from disappointment.

Because this man can’t get into the water, it seems like he is all alone.

So, Jesus asks him in John 5:6, Do you want to get well?

For some of us, I think Jesus asks this question because we have to ask ourselves, Do I want to get well? Some of us don’t want to get well.  Or, we don’t want to get well if it requires anything of us. 

We want to heal from emotional wounds without doing any work. We want to recover from relational wounds without dealing with anything from our past. We want physical healing without doing any work. 

Now, sometimes there is nothing we can do to heal. But sometimes, we play a role in our healing. 

I wonder, would Jesus ask us, “Do you want to get well?”

Healing is not something to be flippant about. 

The thing we want healing from is something we have potentially carried and dealt with, prayed for, and cried out to God about for years. Just like this man. I wonder if Jesus is also asking, “Have you given up? Do you still believe healing is possible?”

There comes a moment when it is hard to believe healing is possible. There comes a moment where it is hard to believe and hold out hope that anything could change. 

Something else can happen. This man was here for 38 years. He knew what it was like to live like this. He knew how to get through the day as an invalid. It possibly was part of his identity. The thing we want healing from slowly becomes part of who we are. 

Our brokenness can become a part of our identity and what makes us who we are.

Jesus tells him in verse 8, “Pick up your mat and walk.” Instantly the man was healed; he picked up his mat and walked.

I wonder what this moment felt like. 

Instantly he got well. Did he feel it right away? Did he feel the muscles move in his legs right away?

Jesus healed him, but the man also had to believe and stand up. 

At some point in our faith journey, we will have to take a step of faith. We will have to trust the impossible and believe in the power of God. We will have to respond.

As we apply this question, here are some things I believe Jesus is asking us beneath the surface:

  • Do you want to get well?
  • Have you given up hope on healing?
  • Is there a part that you play in your healing?

I Worry About Everything

All of us worry.

About everything.

We worry about a child, spouse, or friendships. We worry about our parents’ health, our kids’ health, our spouse’s health, our friends’ health, and our health. We worry about finances, education, job prospects, and making ends meet. We worry about conversations we’re going to have, discussions we’ve had, and conversations we only imagine having.

We worry when we get into a car, take a walk, go to the gym, and get on a plane, train or boat.

We worry.

We worry in the woods, in a cabin, in an apartment, or a beach house.

Around every corner are disasters and calamities.

Some of us worry more than others.

The other day I was talking to someone, and he told me, “But I’m anxious. I was born this way. There’s nothing I can do about it.”

As we talked, he had a lot of anxiety. Much of it was about real things, but some of it was about imagined things, things that had not happened.

Most of our anxiety is about imagined things. Yes, we worry about things that are happening, but the conversation we’re worrying about having we haven’t had yet. Our kids haven’t walked through all of life that we have imagined for them yet, but we still worry.

As my friend and I talked, I asked him about some of the promises of God, like Jesus telling us in Matthew 6:25 to not worry about your life.

He shook his head and said, “But this is how I am. What am I supposed to do?”

What is so beautiful in Matthew 6 is that Jesus doesn’t berate us, guilt us, or scold us.

He simply asks, “Why do you worry?” What does worry add to your life? Does worry add to your joy?

Jesus wants us to evaluate our worries. This is incredibly important and powerful. It helps us to see what we focus on, and what gets our hearts and attention.

Think for a moment about what you worry about. If it helps, list it out on a piece of paper. Here are some questions to ask about those things:

  • What is worry adding to your life?
  • Are you fully trusting God with those things? Those relationships?
  • What is your worry revealing about your focus?

The reality is, my friend (like many of us) is a worrier about everything. That is his tendency.

So I asked him, “What is a sin, something in the Bible that we’re told not to do, that you don’t struggle with?”

Once he told me, I asked, “What if I told you people think they are just that way in the same way you think you are worrier, and that’s who you are?”

All of us have some tendency.

Some of us are more prone to struggle with sexual sin, greed, being a workaholic, or co-dependent in relationships. We don’t struggle with all those things.

I know that some of you read that last sentence and thought, “I don’t struggle with that.”

Just because you struggle with something doesn’t mean you get a pass, or you can disregard a verse about that or think that you can’t change that in your life. Jesus can.

Worrying, like many other sins, is a matter of focus. That is why Jesus points us to focus on the things of God, the kingdom of God and then, all that we need, will be added to us.