Category Archives: Healthy Leadership

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The Problem of Tasks Not Getting Done

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Teresa Amabile, a professor at Harvard who researches creativity in business found, “Of all the things that can boost emotions, motivation, and perceptions during a workday, the single most important is making progress in meaningful work.”

The single most important thing for your day is making progress in meaningful work.”-Teresa Amabile

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This makes sense.

It is why we love checklists, crossing things off and that feeling of a “zero inbox.”

For many of us though, depending on what you do, this is difficult.

If you are a stay at home mom, making progress on meaningful work is challenging as laundry and dishes pile up.

If you are creative, there is always one more tweak to the design, one more thing to check out.

As a pastor, everything I do is meaningful as it relates to people and sermons (or creating content).

How to get things done.

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The problem is that you can spend 6 – 8 hours working on a sermon and only have read some commentaries and things are fuzzy in your mind.

For many of us, the day ends with a feeling of “incomplete.” We look back and think, “I know I sent out emails, had conversations, sat in meetings, but what did I accomplish?”

We look back on our day and think, “I know I sent out emails, had conversations, sat in meetings, but what did I accomplish?

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One of the things that have helped me is setting up benchmarks around my tasks and goals.

For example, if you have 50 unread emails, make a goal of getting through 25 of them.

For a sermon, instead of making my only goal completing the sermon (which every pastor knows isn’t done until you preach it), make a goal of reading X number of commentaries, clarifying your big idea, working out your introduction or conclusion.

How to break goals into smaller steps.

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Doing this helps you see significant movement on your tasks.

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The Tension of Leadership

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Leaders live in two worlds:  the one of reality, where their church or organization is, and the other is the one that is not yet, the world they are moving towards as a church.

The two worlds of leaders.

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To lead well, leaders must live where their churches are, and they must lead them to where they are going. Which means they must have a firm grasp on reality and the present, as well as where they are going. Too many pastors seem to coast into the future, not sure where they are going, not sure how they will get there.

It is easy to spend too much time in either the present or the future and miss out. You can get too far ahead of your church which means you will have a difficult time getting into the future. You can spend too much time in the present and not see a vision for where you are going and get stuck in the details of just doing church.

It is a balance. It is the tension of leadership.

Many times pastors can lead churches that no longer exist. If a church grew at one point and reached 500 but has now dropped down to 150 on a Sunday, many pastors will continue as if that church is 500.

But the church has changed now.

The reality that pastors must walk with, especially because many people in their church will think their church is still what it was.

It is crucial for a leader to pull back and get “on the balcony” of their church to see what is going on and understand where they are and where they need to go.

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How to Talk About Money in Your Church

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Many church leaders struggle with talking about money in their church or loathe the offering time. However, this fear can be alleviated by making a shift in their perspective about money. The topic of money is not about money per se. The Kingdom of God and helping people to live as disciples of Christ is the true aim of money. In the words of Peter Greer, “Money is a vehicle, not the ultimate objective.”

The reality for pastors is that money is important. It is needed when it comes to ministry and money is one of the biggest struggles and stresses of the people who sit in your church.

Many pastors this time of year (or after the new year) will talk on money in a sermon. Here are 5 things to keep in mind for the next time you preach on money:

5 things to keep in mind when you preach on money.

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1. People genuinely are interested in what the Bible has to say on money. People come to your church to hear what the Bible has to say. They drove there, probably looked at your website, they drove past a sign that said church, so they are expecting for you to open the Bible and read it. I think people want to know what God thinks about a whole host of things, money included.

Why?

Because very few people have strong financial knowledge. There are so many takes on it, ideas on what you should do, how to get out of debt, where you should invest that it becomes overwhelming and then people stick their head in the sand. Telling them what the Bible has to say is incredibly helpful and refreshing to them because it says more than “you should give to the church.”

People genuinely are interested in what the Bible has to say on money.

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As well, most couples are fighting over money. Most people are laying in bed at night stressing over money. Talking about it hits them where they live and answers some of their most burning questions.

2. Get your financial house in order. Many pastors don’t talk about money because many pastors aren’t generous and don’t give. Generosity doesn’t come easy for me but preaching on what the Bible has to say about money has convicted my heart to grow in it. If a pastor doesn’t preach on money, generosity or stewardship of finances, it is usually because he isn’t doing well in those areas personally and that will affect the life of a church. Generous churches are led by generous leaders.

Generous churches are led by generous leaders.

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Be honest with your struggles if you have them. Talk about what you have learned and how God is continuing to grow you. People will resonate with that. Every time I talk about money I’ll hear people say over and over, “Thanks for being open about what is hard for you.”

3. Make sure you don’t make promises God doesn’t make. Especially with passages like Malachi 3, it is easy to make promises God doesn’t make when it comes to money. Is God faithful? Yes. Does God bless people financially when they give? Yes. Are there lots of rich people who don’t give? Yes. Are God’s blessings to us always financial reimbursement? No. This is the one area that a lot of damage has been done in terms of preaching on money.

4. Stewardship is more than money. While most pastors preach on money to get more people to give money, that isn’t the goal. The goal is to help people follow Jesus when it comes to stewardship and that includes money, but also includes how they use their time, house, car, retirement and steward their whole life.

Stewardship is more than money.

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Make sure that when you talk about stewardship, you help people understand that God’s heart is for more than their bank account, but also their calendar, relationships, and heart.

5. Give clear and helpful next steps. You should have clear next step every week that you preach but with money, it is incredibly important. Whether that is doing a 90 day giving challenge, a financial class like FPU or something else. Don’t just leave people hanging on this. Especially because as I said on point 1, people want to know how to handle money.

5 things to do the next time you preach on money.

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When to Quit Something or Let it Ride

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One of the critical jobs of every leader is problem-solving. The longer I’m a leader, the more I realize that much of my time as a leader is spent in brainstorming, making decisions or looking ahead to decisions that will be made in the future.

The struggle is that often, solving problems means taking very little information and making a decision based on that little information.

One thing that pastors seem to be notorious for is solving problems that aren’t problems. Something doesn’t go right, we start a new ministry, and no one shows up, a creative piece falls flat, a marketing tool does not bring in the people we thought, a new direction or vision is laid out, and no one is excited.

Are these problems? Potentially.

The problem is that we start to solve them before we know. One night of something not going right does not constitute a problem; it’s one night. We make changes and then when they don’t work once, we quickly make adjustments to them. Now, sometimes adjustments need to be made. Sometimes we can see things that we can tweak to make something better.

But often, we solve problems that are not problems. Let something ride a little bit before you decide it is a problem. Let it show itself a problem before fixing it. Many successes come from merely continuing down the path instead of giving up. In fact, we often quit something right before it breaks through.

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Your Work Matters

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Think about where you spend the majority of your time. For most of us, that’s at work. If you’re a stay at home mom, you stay home. That’s the majority.

Then, the other places. Church, the gym, neighborhood, classes, meetings.

How do you make yourself more useful or effective there?

How do you spend your time on the things that matter? The things that you’re designed to do?

Many of us would like to get better at those things but often struggle with finding meaning in those places.

We wonder, what impact do I make in my life? Do people feel my presence or know I’m there when I’m working?

The reality is though; God cares deeply about our work. Our work for many of us is an outgrowth of our calling and purpose in our lives.

Your work matters to God.

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Our work is a reflection of our worship of God.

Some would even say that our work = worship.

You see this if someone is fair, lazy, a workaholic or balanced.

How we work matters to God because it reflects what we believe about God and what matters most in life.

How you work matters to God.

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Recently, I preached through Nehemiah 3, and when you open it, you see a list of names and the work they did to rebuild the city wall around Jerusalem.

Some of the work sounded glamorous. Some worked on the valley gate and the fountain gate. That sounds nice, doesn’t it? The fountain gate. I bet the valley gate was beautiful in the valley. I wonder if there was a stream?

But some worked on the dung gate. How do you think that assignment sounded?

The reality is, someone had to fix it. Otherwise, the wall would have a hole in it.

In a church, work, family, someone has to do it. Why? It needs to be done.

In our family, like yours, someone has to empty the dishwasher, take the trash out. Do my kids love that? No. Do they get paid for doing that? No, they do it because they’re part of our family.

In the same way, at your work or your church, that needs to be done, and you’re there.

Here’s a question I hear a lot: What do you do if you haven’t found your thing yet?

Much of the time it comes from a longing for our lives to matter and to have a purpose, sometimes it comes from jealousy and envy we have of others.

A lot of times, we don’t do anything because we’re waiting for our thing.

Here’s an important principle in life and leadership: Do something until you’re doing your thing.

Do something until you’re doing your thing.

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Should we try to find the thing we’re passionate about doing? Yes. But often we learn that thing by doing other things, things that maybe we aren’t gifted at or passionate about doing.

We learn we love sales or teaching through trying things out. We find we are creative or task-oriented by doing things. The first time I stood in front of a group and spoke I was terrified, but I was exhilarated during and after the experience.

Here’s a principle that applies whether serving at church, reading your bible and praying, dating your spouse, time with your kids, building a business: Something is better than nothing.

Something is better than nothing.

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Right now, you aren’t able to do all that you want to do, but you can do something.

Start there.

In those two principles, we often find why and how our work matters and how to make the impact that God calls us to.

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How to Beat Distractions at Work & Home to Reach Your Goals

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Distractions are everywhere.

The New York Times reported, a typical office worker gets interrupted every 11 minutes – yet it takes an average of 25 minutes to return to the original task.

So, learning what distractions are and training yourself to avoid them is crucial to success at work.

It isn’t just at work though.

Distractions rear their ugly heads at home, and they keep us from the most important relationships in our lives.

So, what are the distractions at work and home?

Your phone.

Social media.

That latest app or time wasting game.

Clutter.

Multi-tasking.

Noise.

Hunger.

Email.

Kids activities.

Regrets over past mistakes.

Worries about tomorrow.

Slack and trello.

Binging on TV.

Andy Stanley said: Regardless of the nature of your vision, or visions if you are not careful, you will get distracted. The daily grind of life is hard on visions. Life is now. Bills are now. The crisis is now. Vision is later. It’s easy to lose sight of the main thing, to sacrifice the best for the sake of the good. All of us run the risk of allowing secondary issues to rob us of the joy of seeing our visions through to completion. Distractions can slowly kill a vision.

Distractions can slowly kill a vision. -Andy Stanley

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So what do you do?

The reality is, you can’t plan for distractions but you can do your best to minimize them.

You can and should do things like turning your phone off, turn off email and text message notifications. You shouldn’t have social media notifications on your phone. Schedule when you do your email and when you don’t.

But if you do that, it won’t guarantee you won’t have distractions.

So what then?

Here are two questions that help me navigate my day and accomplish what I need to:

Two questions to accomplish what you need to in one day.

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What is most important to you?

This question is something you need to determine every day, whether it is at home, with your kids, at school or at work.

Each morning, I lay out the 3 most important things I need to accomplish each day.

This helps me to focus my time and energy.

Most of us allow other people to determine what is most important for us. Whether that is a school, a boss or a spouse. Sometimes this is out of your control, but often it is not.

What do you have the energy for?

The reality is, it might be essential, but you may not have the mental, emotional or physical capacity for it.

Each day for me is different like it is for you.

I have more energy on some days than others. Those are the days I plan my most important work.

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Grieving Losses in Life & Leadership

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Terry Wardle said, “Ministry is a series of ungrieved losses.” I think you could expand that to say all of leadership and life are a series of ungrieved losses. 

All of leadership and life are a series of ungrieved losses.

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The reality for many of us is that we have lost something.

We have lost loved ones, we’ve been left and abandoned in relationships, we’ve had jobs come and go, dreams come and go. You started a business or a church that you expected to take off, but it didn’t go as fast as you’d like or at all. You expected kids by a certain age, certain kinds of kids at that, but it didn’t play out as you expected. Marriage was supposed to be a wild ride, but the wild ride you got is not the wild ride you thought you signed up for when you said: “I do.”

Losses.

As they stack up in life, many times, we fail to grieve them.

We shrug our shoulders and say “that’s life.”

Or, we think that other people have it worse.

And maybe they do, but if you’re like me, by saying those things, you are attempted to shield yourself from the pain. You also minimize the impact those losses have on you and your life when we say things like that.

For us to move forward in life, for us to see God redeem all that is in us, we must bring all that in us. We must face all that in us and all that is a part of our story.

Yes, God redeems all that in us and sets us free, but many of us hold on to losses, hold on to pain or regrets or mistakes and so we never experience the life God has for us.

I was talking with a guy recently, and he said he was afraid to face what was hidden in his family of origin because he wasn’t sure what he would find there.

He would find losses.

When we face losses, it is at that moment, that we decide whether or not we trust the goodness of God.

How to trust God is good in the midst of loss.

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Is God still good when life doesn’t go as I thought it would?

If I believed that God called me to start something and it slowly fizzles out, did I hear God correctly? If so and that was God’s plan all along, how do I feel about that?

Many times, we want to blame God, and He can take it. Or, we’ll play the role of the victim.

When we do that, it makes sense, but it also keeps us from having to face our pain or even deal with it. As the victim, it is their fault out there. My spouse, parents, child, economy, elders, staff members. They caused it. They did it.

And maybe they did, but it still happened, and you still have to face it.

The ones who move forward whole (notice I didn’t say unscarred) are the ones who grieve those losses.

But how?

While I’m still learning this process, here are some things that help me:

How to grieve losses.

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Name what was lost. What was lost for some of us is a dream, a hope, a goal.

Maybe you lost your innocence by having to grow up too quickly. Perhaps it is a loss of purpose and meaning. It might be the loss of identity or relationships.

We have all had loss but rarely do we name them.

Not naming them gives them the power to take away in our lives.

Attach a feeling to that. How did that loss feel? I realize that this might be an obvious question but think for a moment. It is more than anger.

Most of us (especially Christians) are not very good at grieving, but it is a crucial part of maturity.

Recently, I named a loss I experienced and told a friend, “I’m sad about that.” Which for me is an enormous step because I can’t think of many times I’ve said I was sad about something.

Ask God what He wants you to know about Him through this. Each moment, good and bad, easy and difficult, are invitations from God to know something about himself and something about ourselves.

Don’t rush through this and miss this.

God is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18).

Three ways to grieve losses in life and leadership.

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If we don’t do this, not only will we miss the freedom that is found in Jesus, but we will make people in our future pay for things people did in our past. This will keep us from living and enjoying life and leadership. It will keep us from trusting and experiencing community because “we know how this story ends.”

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Be the Pastor God Created You to Be

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It’s hard to be the person you’re supposed to be.

If we’re honest, the person we are, the person God is creating in us often seems mundane and ordinary. Nothing like the highlight reels we see on Instagram.

As a pastor, it is tough to be the person God has created you to be.

Be the Pastor God Created You to Be

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You can download the sermons of any other pastor (and so can your people). You wonder if you are measuring up; if you are faithful enough if you are pursuing the vision God has placed in your heart or pursuing someone else’s vision.

Compound that with voices in your church. Many of them well-meaning.

You will hear things like:

  • You need to be more visionary.
  • You need to be more shepherding.
  • You need to preach more in-depth (deeper) sermons.
  • You need to preach more topical sermons that are relevant.
  • You need to be more relational.
  • You need to be more strategic.
  • Have you ever heard of ________ [insert famous pastor]?
  • My last pastor did ____________.

And that is before you hear anything about your spouse, your kids or the direction of the church.

With all of those voices (don’t forget your taunting doubts), it is hard to be the pastor God has called and created you to be.

It took me a long time (and I’m still wrestling through it) to be comfortable with who I am.

Yes, I need to grow in my shortcomings. I need the gospel to plow through the pride in my heart.

But my church needs me to bring the gifts, talents, and strengths that God has given to me. Not the gifts, talents and strengths of the pastor down the road or the latest megachurch pastor flying up the iTunes chart.

Your church needs you to bring the gifts, talents, and strengths that God has given to you.

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That’s a hard lesson to learn and one that I wished I would’ve learned earlier.

If you don’t, you will end up chasing after people, trying to please loud people who don’t care who God has created you to be, only that you aren’t what they would like you to be.

So, be you.

God doesn’t need you to be the person down the street. He already has that one.

He needs and wants you.

That’s why He made you the way He did.

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How to Maximize Your Summer Vacation

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It’s the end of summer and you might be wondering why I’m writing a post about summer vacation.

How to maximize your summer vacation next year.

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The reason is simple.

If you want a great summer vacation, a great summer preaching break, you have to plan it. Too many leaders wait until May when they are running on fumes to start thinking about summer vacation and by then, it is really hard to plan a good one.

You have to think through:

  • What will recharge you personally? What will recharge your spouse? Your kids?
  • Who will do your job when you are gone?
  • What will be fun?
  • How will you pay for all that fun?

So, to help you, here are a few common questions I get about a summer break:

5 ways to maximize your summer vacation.

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Why take a summer break?

This has a ton of reasons, in no particular order. Preaching and leading are hard work. If you’re a pastor who preaches regularly, coming up with something to say every week is tiring. Preaching is tiring. As Charles Spurgeon put it, “It is spiritual warfare every week.” It is mentally, spiritually, relationally, physically and emotionally draining. It is healthy for a pastor to recharge physically, mentally and spiritually. It is good for a church to hear other voices than just their pastor. It is helpful for a pastor’s family for him to get out of the weekly grind of preaching. Doing the other work of a pastor is just different.

Why don’t pastors and leaders take a summer break?

I think many pastors and leaders are afraid to do it. They are afraid to not be at their church as if it all revolves around them or is dependent on them. I love hearing that on a night I am not there that not only does everything run smoothly, but also that our attendance is up, we have a ton of first-time guests, etc. Your church can run without you; God doesn’t need you.

As well, many leaders feel like they need to be running, selling all the time. Get your hustle on!

You can take a break and in fact, as the authors of The Power of Full Engagement: Managing Energy, Not Time, Is the Key to High Performance and Personal Renewal points out, regularly resting increases your performance, and work.

What do you do on a summer break?

Now we get to the goal of your summer break and vacation.

Do you want to learn? Grow in something? Rest and recharge? Do you want to work ahead?

My summer break encapsulates much of that. One of the other advantages for a pastor in taking a break from preaching is working ahead on sermons, using that time to work on your church instead of working in your church. Which is crucial for a leader.

One of the other things I seek to do is spend extended time in the Scripture. Because much of my job is thinking about and prepping the next sermon I am preaching it is easy to not spend time letting the word speak into my soul. During this time, I spend time just letting God speak to my life without thinking about how I can fit that into a sermon. I’ve always thought of a spiritual life like a bucket and if it gets too low, there isn’t anything to give out. And pastor’s give out every week from their spiritual lives as they preach and counsel. During this time, I get to fill my bucket up, which is a huge blessing for the rest of the year.

This is also an opportunity to serve your spouse. What would they find helpful and recharging on your break? How can they rest and rejuvenate?

My elders think this is nuts, how do I teach them this is a good thing?

If there is one thing many pastors need to grow in, it is the ability to lead up to their elders. It isn’t that your elders are against this or something else, they just lack an understanding of what it means to do your job.

Over the years, I’ve had elders who are supportive of this and ones that are not.

Most people have no idea how hard prepping a sermon and giving a sermon is. They have no idea what the warfare is like, what it does to your adrenal glands and your body overall. You might need to do some research and teach them this. Teach your church about the value of other communicators besides yourself.

Two books that have helped me in this area are Adrenaline and Stress and Adrenal Fatigue. 

If after all this, they still won’t budge. Just take all your vacation at the same time and be gone from your church for 2-4 weeks and don’t call it a preaching break just take your vacation.

I’ve been blessed that my elders see the value in this for me and our church. I shoot to preach 35 weekends a year at Revolution. Each staff member is given 7 Sundays a year where they can be gone from Revolution.

How do you prep for a break?

This is something often overlooked. It is a lot like prepping for a vacation. We’ve already talked about how to figure out what to do on your break, but you have to prepare mentally and physically for the crash that follows. A pastor’s body is so used to the adrenaline that comes from preaching that when you don’t do it, your body goes through withdraw because it craves the adrenaline it is used to having. You have to be aware of this and realize that in the first week of your break you will be tired, cranky, irritable as your body regulates. Being aware of this is huge and talking with your spouse about it.

You also have to figure out who will do what while you’re gone, who will answer email, texts messages and how you will handle social media. I do my best to shut off all of those while I’m on my vacation.

5 questions to maximize your summer vacation.

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3 Questions to Ask About Your Critics

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Criticism is a fact of life and leadership.

Thom Rainer said, “If you are not being criticized, you are not leading.”

If you are not being criticized, you are not leading. -Thom Rainer

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While some leaders enjoy criticism, most do not. There is also the question of, should you listen to your critics? I mean, if they are against you, can they show you anything?

The to those questions is, maybe and yes.

The reality is, you can’t not listen to your critics because you hear them. You can’t drown out their voices because they exist.

While there are many questions, you should ask of your critics to discern if you should listen to them. Here are three questions I’ve found helpful:

3 surprising questions to ask of your critics.

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1. What does this person stand to lose if my vision gets fulfilled? The reason criticism happens is you are proposing a change. That’s what leadership, vision, and direction do. They change things. They push the status quo. When you have a goal or dream, you are saying something needs to be different.

It’s interesting in the book of Nehemiah, that as he is rebuilding the wall, his most prominent critics stand to lose the most. For your critics, it could be financial, influence, a change in a relationship, but as a leader, when you experience criticism, you must figure out what that person is losing or stands to lose. Almost always, not always, but almost always they stand to lose something, so they are criticizing to keep things as they are.

Why?

People don’t like to lose what they have. People don’t want to lose the comfort of something. Now, this doesn’t make you as a leader right or make your vision right, but it is an essential piece of information.

2. Does this person care about me and want the best for me? Picture this, someone gives you feedback or criticism and then says, “I’m only telling you this because I love you.” That might be true, but that’s also why there are two parts to this question. Does the person who is criticizing me care/love me and want the best for me? Wanting the best for someone is different than wanting them to succeed.

Asking if they want the best for me questions if they are in my corner and if they have a vested interest in me or the things I care about accomplishing. Many of your critics do not have a vested interest in something. If you’re a pastor, think about the number of critics you have had that have left your church. They didn’t have a vested interest in that; they just wanted to complain. If they had a vested interest, they would stay to work through the difficulty to see something great come about in your church.

Now, this doesn’t mean you don’t’ listen to someone; it just means how much weight you give to it.

3. Is this person projecting any of their fears, failures or story onto me? This last one is important because much of the criticism you get comes from the stories of the person giving the criticism. Whether it is a fear they have, a failure they’ve experienced or the narrative fo their family of origin. You can’t always discern this, but if you can, you can at least have a conversation with the critic about what the issue is. Often, the problem is not what they are criticizing, and often, they are not angry at you.

I remember taking a counseling class and the teacher said, “when people get angry at the church, often there is an authority figure in their life (boss, spouse, parent) that they are angry at, but they can’t do anything about it or feel powerless, so they take their anger and hurt out on the closest authroity figure, which is the church or the pastor.” This has proven correct time and again. Each time I meet with someone who is leaving our church, half the meeting is about a relationship in their life they are angry about or feel powerless to do anything about. The church is just getting the brunt of it. This is an excellent opportunity for you to pastor someone if they are open to it.